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(New Musical Express)   Radiohead banned in Chipotle as Thom Yorke's voice "wreaks havoc with chain's interior design elements," similar to the way a Chipotle burrito wreaks havoc with Subby's interior   (nme.com) divider line 15
    More: Interesting, Thom Yorke, chipotles, Radiohead, burritos, fast food restaurants, subalterns, ready list  
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1500 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jul 2013 at 9:51 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-12 09:56:40 AM  
8 votes:
Carne Police
Arrest this man he ate too much
2013-07-12 10:04:58 AM  
2 votes:
Those burritos go in happy, but come out ... angry.  Very, very angry.
2013-07-12 10:04:08 AM  
2 votes:
Dear Chipotle,

It is with a heavy heart and empty stomach I write this letter of complaint regarding the quality of food I received today from your store. I pondered if this letter would be read or understood by your employees as I did not feel like writing it in Spanish, or spray painting it as graffiti on an underpass in the West Side. Nevertheless, due to the traumatic nature of my experience today I needed to write this letter regardless.

I was the recipient of three barbacoa tacos today and I was shorted rice, beans and pico. I know you might be thinking 'well, you got the tacos didnt you?' and I did, which is the crux of this most aggrieved letter. My barbacoa tacos were served in hard shell corn tortillas. It's a simple matter of physics that this would not work out well, and your employees should have known better.

If you are reading this letter, written in English, then you probably don't work in the serving side of Chipotle so you may be unaware of this small fact; barbacoa meat is a fairly greasy affair and will tear through a corn tortilla faster than your menu items will tear through a small intestine. Which is what happened to me. All three of my tacos exploded through the bottom of the shells and I was left with a soggy pile of meat and tacos shells that looked as if they had already been masticated.


I tried to eat this messy pile of tacos with a fork but I could not bring myself to do it. I do not buy tacos to eat them with a fork. I reserve the use of fine cutlery for more fancy eating establishments like the Olive Garden. So now I sit feeling assed out by you Chipotle, which isn't very shocking to me, except that usually happens after I eat your food. We are trying to have a society here, Chipotle. Where people eat tacos with their hands, and don't suffer stomach pains prior to eating your food. Your active participation in this would truly be helpful.


There is a dark, thick river of hate flowing from me right now, and it bothers me because this usually occurs AFTER I eat your food. Seeing as the only thing truly authentically Mexican in your restaurants are your employees, they should damn well know better than to ply a hardshell taco with greasy meat. At Chipotles I have come to expect an explosion of ingredients from the bottom end, but again this normally occurs after I eat, from myself, not from the food itself.

When I think of a wetback at chipotle I don't want it to be the back of my taco... I want it to be the counter person making my tacos, who should know better than to put juicy meat in a hard shell. They should offer some warning, in their broken English, or through a third party translator of gang signs that greasy meat will destroy a taco shell faster than chipotle's pico will destroy the average person's rectum.

I pondered the black hearted assassins of joy employed by your restaurant and realized what they lack in quality they make up for in ineptitude and I can't help but wonder as one of your employees filled my taco with greasy, shell destroying meat. As if their intention was to ruin my day, as their lives are seemingly ruined to them as they stand there day after day slapping cheese onto intestinal wrecking meats. What nefarious thoughts pass through their minds as they allow tacos to explode haphazardly across the Valley of the Sun? Are they trying to teach a part of the Phoenix population that is so white they are nearly translucent it is ok to eat soggy tacos? And people wonder why there are still so many bumps in the road of race relations in Phoenix.


I've heard others complain about Chipotle before, saying such things like "only the flies on the table enjoyed the food" and "I've ate better food in a prison cafeteria" and I had defended you...but never again. My love for you is now a shadow of its former self, spilt at the bottom with all its wonderful ingredients leaking out, and as with my experience with your tacos, no fork can salvage this hot mess you have created.

Not only will I no longer be a Chipotles customer, willing to try my very digestive stamina with your food, from this moment on I am on a complete hunger strike. With no real purpose in it but this... With my final dying breath I will fling my emaciated corpse through the front door of your restaurant screaming La Migra causing a mass panic of your employees. I will lay down and die peacefully reflected in industrial shined aluminum siding while carved mezoamerican deities gaze down on my carcass, knowing my withered body will probably still be the most appetizing thing in your restaurant.

My death is on your hands Chipotle. Somewhere in the heavens above Tezcatlipoca is looking down on what you are doing, and he is not pleased. What you are doing to Mexican foods is an abomination to the Aztec goods, with the exception of Montezuma, the patron saint of diarrhea.
2013-07-12 10:03:56 AM  
2 votes:

KatjaMouse: [www.eatmedaily.com image 540x201]


Halli: [www.eatmedaily.com image 540x201]


That's some f*cking mind-meld level sh*t.
2013-07-12 10:02:57 AM  
2 votes:
www.eatmedaily.com
2013-07-12 01:37:06 PM  
1 votes:
I wish Thom would write a song called, YES I KNOW GUAC IS EXTRA!!!
2013-07-12 12:39:18 PM  
1 votes:

Psycoholic_Slag: Cagey B: happydude45: Chipotle sucks, period. Go to a real mexican joint and get a really great burrito, plus awesome tacos too. They tend to be small, local places. Am lucky one is just a few blocks away

Congratulations. You're a foodie and/or a hipster now.

What a bunch of foodie/hipsters look like:

[bodeloubakes.files.wordpress.com image 500x375]


gawd, i can't STAND these self-righteous foodies! look at their ironic clothes, that tile roof, and that blue (ironically) tarp! blech!
2013-07-12 12:07:13 PM  
1 votes:

happydude45: Chipotle sucks, period. Go to a real mexican joint and get a really great burrito, plus awesome tacos too. They tend to be small, local places. Am lucky one is just a few blocks away


Congratulations. You're a foodie and/or a hipster now.
2013-07-12 11:26:53 AM  
1 votes:

Rapmaster2000: happydude45: Chipotle sucks, period. Go to a real mexican joint and get a really great burrito, plus awesome tacos too. They tend to be small, local places. Am lucky one is just a few blocks away

Pfft.  I only eat REAL burritos made in a tiny village in Zacatecas by a barefoot, one-armed peasant woman.  I'd tell you where to get them, but you just wouldn't get it.  It would blow away your whole whitebread, corporate burrito paradigm.


now i want to know how a one-armed woman properly rolls a burrito
2013-07-12 11:25:56 AM  
1 votes:

happydude45: Chipotle sucks, period. Go to a real mexican joint and get a really great burrito, plus awesome tacos too. They tend to be small, local places. Am lucky one is just a few blocks away


Pfft.  I only eat REAL burritos made in a tiny village in Zacatecas by a barefoot, one-armed peasant woman.  I'd tell you where to get them, but you just wouldn't get it.  It would blow away your whole whitebread, corporate burrito paradigm.
2013-07-12 10:04:42 AM  
1 votes:
www.eatmedaily.com
2013-07-12 10:03:44 AM  
1 votes:
Oh goddammit.
2013-07-12 10:02:41 AM  
1 votes:
www.eatmedaily.com
2013-07-12 09:59:33 AM  
1 votes:
When I am king Chipotle will be first against the wall,with its opinion which is of no consequence at all.
2013-07-12 09:49:38 AM  
1 votes:
This is what you get.
 
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