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(Buzzfeed)   Former high school teacher, now a Congressman, trolls the GOP with a red pen   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 104
    More: Amusing, Louisiana Republican Rep, congressman, GOP, humans, Mark Takano, John Culberson, Charles Boustany, Bill Cassidy  
•       •       •

6512 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Jul 2013 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-12 11:42:48 AM  

abrannan: They need to add the length of the Galt Speech to that chart


I'm surprised how long Atlas Shrugged is.  From the plot summary and the excerpts I've read, it really is Twilight for young(ish) GOP males.
 
2013-07-12 11:43:06 AM  

Karac: [24.media.tumblr.com image 850x557]

I can see at least one thing he missed - they were either mixing Arabic and Roman numerals, or they think that 'XX' is actually a date in July.


I don't care, that is one of the funniest, greatest bits of political posturing (which has its time and place) that I've ever seen.
 
2013-07-12 11:43:46 AM  
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

...I'm waiting for the first 5th grader to get a similar essay back to say something similar to this.  Then I wanna see the shiatstorm that transpires when the teacher gives him detention for it.
 
2013-07-12 11:47:21 AM  

FLMountainMan: Paul Baumer: xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.

Or they can just pass it and let the President can choose what parts he wants to enforce.  Sounds legit.


Non-responsive non-sequitur... I am beginning to see a pattern here.
 
2013-07-12 11:48:06 AM  

Snarfangel: Hmm, I should have used "were" instead of "was" because it is conditional. I am going to lose points there.


Yes, you should have used the subjunctive instead of the past tense.

We're way past tents. We're living in bungalows now.

/pardon me while I have a strange interlude.
//apologies to Groucho.
 
2013-07-12 11:48:19 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Immigration reform should be like 8 pages long only.  Don't ask me how I know this.


One page.  The answer you were looking for was one.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-12 11:50:17 AM  

Dr Dreidel: chimp_ninja: I'm sorry you think 286 pages is too hard to read. I recommend that you never run for the Senate.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x323]

// from Takano's Tumblr
// which is alternately informative and hysterical


How have I not heard about this guy?  He's awesome!

...and also must be the love-child of Jon Stewart and George Takei.
 
2013-07-12 11:58:09 AM  
All legislation must fit into a single tweet.
 
2013-07-12 12:03:50 PM  

Diogenes: The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."


"Well, I'm sorry, Diogenes, but our company requires that you confirm this manual has been written correctly."

"THIS JOB IS EVERYTHING AMERICANS HATE ABOUT WASHINGTON!"
 
2013-07-12 12:13:26 PM  
I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Now I know for sure.
 
2013-07-12 12:23:05 PM  
"Representative Takano's action and Political ignorance andgrandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington..."

FTFY.

It's shiat like this that leads to laws written in such a way that Florida has now outlawed computers and smartphones. SOMEONE needs to call them out on it.
 
2013-07-12 12:28:35 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Evidence?!
Now I know for sure.
 
2013-07-12 12:30:07 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Now I know for sure.


Boy, you sure got him.
 
2013-07-12 12:30:08 PM  

tricycleracer: All legislation must fit into a single tweet.


"9-9-9."

What am I supposed to do with the other 134 characters?
 
2013-07-12 12:32:41 PM  
randomjsa

(favorite: Complete and Total Ignorance)


Now I know for sure.
 
2013-07-12 12:32:54 PM  

nmrsnr: randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.
Evidence?!
Now I know for sure.


Never mind our little threadshiatter would get expelled for trying to take the final as someone else.

/shut up libbynomore2, you cock
 
2013-07-12 12:34:55 PM  

UNC_Samurai: nmrsnr: randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.
Evidence?!
Now I know for sure.

Never mind our little threadshiatter would get expelled for trying to take the final as someone else.

/shut up libbynomore2, you cock


Correction, hit-and-run threadshiatter.  He is the very definition of the term "coward".
 
2013-07-12 12:38:19 PM  

Corvus: So according to Republicans a bill that fixes ALL problems about an issue is a bad thing?

Serious how do people  take these people seriously at all?


Yeah, but how on Earth are Republicans going to find opportunities to smear their opposition when all the problems in a particular field are solved at once and they then have nothing more to complain about? Why are you putting Republicans into a state of mind which amounts to mental torture? If this kind of thing keeps going on, soon these good old boys will have a LOT of empty time on their hands, and who knows what devilry they will come up with then!
//snark
 
2013-07-12 12:48:56 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Now I know for sure.



Sounds like someone didn't read the markup.
Some advice random: Get a new schpeel. You're current one is unispired, dry and weak.
 
2013-07-12 12:51:08 PM  

Mercutio74: abrannan: They need to add the length of the Galt Speech to that chart

I'm surprised how long Atlas Shrugged is.  From the plot summary and the excerpts I've read, it really is Twilight for young(ish) GOP males.


Keep in mind that Ayn Rand is a pretty shiatty writer.
 
2013-07-12 12:53:44 PM  
Like we need to believe some elitist, book-learnin' fancy pants with his scribblin' stick.
 
2013-07-12 12:59:08 PM  

Lord_Baull: Some advice random: Get a new schpeel. You're current one is unispired, dry and weak.


In the spirit of corrections, the word you wanted to write is "spiel" which is German/Yiddish for "speak" and usually connotes a sales pitch. The word you were looking for is "shtick" which is Yiddish for an act or piece of a show.
 
2013-07-12 01:03:08 PM  

odinsposse: Keep in mind that Ayn Rand is a pretty shiatty writer.


That is a flaming insult to shiatty writers everywhere.
 
2013-07-12 01:05:56 PM  

nmrsnr: Lord_Baull: Some advice random: Get a new schpeel. You're current one is unispired, dry and weak.

In the spirit of corrections, the word you wanted to write is "spiel" which is German/Yiddish for "speak" and usually connotes a sales pitch. The word you were looking for is "shtick" which is Yiddish for an act or piece of a show.



I was speaking phonetically with spelling errors for his benefit.
(I know, I should have spelled it "week.")
 
2013-07-12 01:08:45 PM  

odinsposse: Keep in mind that Ayn Rand is a pretty shiatty writer.


Oh I know that... it actually supports the Twilight analogy.
 
2013-07-12 01:19:15 PM  

Paul Baumer: xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.



The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.

Here is an article by Mother Jones on the 1200+ page Senate immigration bill.
 
2013-07-12 01:25:15 PM  

gblive: The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.


You have obviously never seen what a bill looks like in print.  Here is an actual page from the Senate bill.  There are fewer than 100 words on the page.

<img src="i43.tinypic.com ">
 
2013-07-12 01:25:26 PM  
Take bill, triple space it, complain about length, introduce 200 amendments, complain about number of amendments, say it needs to be comprehensive, complain it's comprehensive.

Let's face it.  They were elected on a promise that they would do nothing.  And man are they ever coming through.
 
2013-07-12 01:33:04 PM  

cousin-merle: gblive: The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.

You have obviously never seen what a bill looks like in print.  Here is an actual page from the Senate bill.  There are fewer than 100 words on the page.

<img src="[i43.tinypic.com image 580x747] ">


And you see how hard it is to read like that?  Point, Diogenes!!! ;-)
 
2013-07-12 01:34:53 PM  

gblive: The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.


Still shorter than Atlas Shrugged and the Bible.
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-12 01:46:41 PM  

gblive: Paul Baumer: xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.


The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.

Here is an article by Mother Jones on the 1200+ page Senate immigration bill.


Happy with the above answers or do you need more?
 
2013-07-12 01:47:00 PM  
Takano should do this for all bills that come through from the GOP side. It would provide endless entertainment
 
2013-07-12 01:49:13 PM  

gblive: Paul Baumer: xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.


The Senate Bill is over 1200 pages long. "286 by word count" - maybe is you used size 6 font and single spaced it with no margins.

Here is an article by Mother Jones on the 1200+ page Senate immigration bill.


And furthermore, you haven't demonstrated why page length is a particular vice, generally or specifically.  In the words of my good pal Mozart, which notes would your majesty like removed?
 
2013-07-12 02:34:13 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.


This observation is based on lots of data, yes?
 
2013-07-12 02:51:57 PM  
Still shorter than Atlas Shrugged and the Bible.

True, but the cons only read the Bible on Sunday, and then it's only the parts with the smitin' in it. That way it's not too taxing ....
 
2013-07-12 03:44:54 PM  

Xcott: randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

This observation is based on lots of data, yes?


Lots of misinterpreted data, it seems.
 
2013-07-12 04:08:02 PM  

shanteyman: Still shorter than Atlas Shrugged and the Bible.

True, but the cons only read the Bible on Sunday, and then it's only the parts with the smitin' in it. That way it's not too taxing ....


Intentional pun regarding the fact that they skip the parts about helping their fellow man, which would require paying taxes, or accidental genius?
 
2013-07-12 04:10:41 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Now I know for sure.


One of these days you will return to a thread and either explain or defend your statements. I have not once seen you do that in all the time I've recognized your username.

To give you some idea of how everyone feels about you, imagine me walking into your home and dropping a steaming deuce on the middle of your rug. Then I leave without saying why I did it, nor responding to phone calls asking me for an explanation. That's you, randomj - a threadsh*tter. You're not even good enough to be called a troll. A good troll actually riles emotions in people. Getting replies isn't the only criteria for trolling; you have to be taken seriously by the person responding to you.

You? You're just an idiot.
 
2013-07-12 04:50:58 PM  
A red pen. How original. If I weren't nearly illiterate from the education I received from his union thug cronies I'd give him what for about his grandstanding.
 
2013-07-12 05:09:34 PM  
I still feel a little dirty that the red pen reference conjured images of Secretary....
 
2013-07-12 05:42:41 PM  

randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

Now I know for sure.


Now there's a thorough and well-reasoned argument. You'd make a great GOP rep. You should run for office.
 
2013-07-12 05:45:41 PM  

rabidarmadillo24: A red pen. How original. If I weren't nearly illiterate from the education I received from his union thug cronies I'd give him what for about his grandstanding.


You were taught by thugs?
 
2013-07-12 07:09:54 PM  
God help me, there's now a Tumblr feed I need to follow.

Also, how come no one's pointed out that it's obvious that the GOP only wants to break immigration reform into little pieces so they can block the parts they don't like instead of *GASP* compromising on them? They haven't exactly been known for passing anything but repeated Obamacare repeals.
 
2013-07-12 07:17:05 PM  
The whole red pen thing was brilliant, since the letter read exactly like one of the weaker middle-school essays that I used to grade between jobs.

Makes claims without evidence? Check.
Relies on really weak points? Check.
Runs out of new points and repeats the old ones with slight changes and expects us to think they're new? Check.

All it needs is some misspellings of common words.

/But seriously, we all know that it was really written like that to appeal to the GOP base
 
2013-07-12 07:50:16 PM  

Diogenes: Xcott: randomjsa: I always suspected teachers didn't know what the hell they were talking about when they marked up a paper with a red pen.

This observation is based on lots of data, yes?

Lots of misinterpreted data, it seems.


That, and a heaping helping of Dunner-Kruger Effect.
 
2013-07-12 09:30:30 PM  

monoski: Great, now math and english have a liberal bias


Time to whup out the LOPCATGOPATA and add to it.
 
2013-07-12 10:37:30 PM  
Excellent
 
2013-07-12 10:44:52 PM  
Kittypie070: Time to whup out the LOPCATGOPATA and add to it.

Math has been on there for a while (think I may have added that) and I could have sworn "the English language" was there already .
 
2013-07-12 11:27:55 PM  
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington "


Actually, I think his actions are genius.   Speak for yourself, partisan hack mooching off my dime to the tune of $175k a year.
 
2013-07-13 01:42:03 AM  
Of course the Republican couldn't respond to this.  It's not easy when you have to read as part of your job!
 
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