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(Buzzfeed)   Former high school teacher, now a Congressman, trolls the GOP with a red pen   (buzzfeed.com) divider line 107
    More: Amusing, Louisiana Republican Rep, congressman, GOP, humans, Mark Takano, John Culberson, Charles Boustany, Bill Cassidy  
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6509 clicks; posted to Politics » on 12 Jul 2013 at 9:53 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-12 07:49:16 AM
So it was all political posturing instead of an effort to solve a problem of substance? Do the rest of the GOP guys know about this?

Somebody_got_told.jpg
 
2013-07-12 09:42:58 AM
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

Do you think the Republicans use the same people that service Obama's teleprompter to maintain their projector?  Cause that thing is on like 100% of the time.
 
2013-07-12 09:54:52 AM
Providing honest, reasonable critique of republicans doesn't do anything.
 
2013-07-12 09:58:36 AM
As if the GOP listened to educators. This is just more reason why we should cut those elitist rich teachers.
 
2013-07-12 09:58:51 AM
The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."
 
2013-07-12 10:04:28 AM

Diogenes: "Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

Do you think the Republicans use the same people that service Obama's teleprompter to maintain their projector?  Cause that thing is on like 100% of the time.


If the GOP was actually listening to the American people, Congress wouldn't currently be such a massive cluster fudge.
 
2013-07-12 10:08:28 AM

Diogenes: The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."


Yeah, that wouldn't work where I work either.

'Can you update the fax script to use the new invoice template?'
"Sorry, too long."
'Well then, sorry. Didn't mean to take up your time... WAIT A MINUTE FARK YOU GET TO IT!'


/Fark is OK though
//Of course I am the one that decides that.
 
2013-07-12 10:11:55 AM
Typical modern conservatives - way too concerned with where the penis going to be used next.
 
2013-07-12 10:13:48 AM
24.media.tumblr.com

I can see at least one thing he missed - they were either mixing Arabic and Roman numerals, or they think that 'XX' is actually a date in July.
 
2013-07-12 10:17:36 AM
Silly congressman, republicans are homeschooled.
 
2013-07-12 10:17:48 AM
Great, now math and english have a liberal bias
 
2013-07-12 10:18:35 AM
I think one of the great failings here is assuming Republican politicians have the mental capabilities of high school students and should be graded at that level.

That is clearly C+ material from elementary student-level minds, if only because of the semi-appropriate use of several middle-school level vocabulary words.
 
2013-07-12 10:25:19 AM
A using? What, is the hero tag on vacation?
 
2013-07-12 10:28:31 AM
Based on that letter alone, I feel like giving a campaign contribution.
 
2013-07-12 10:30:31 AM
Poor Republicans.  They're just not smart enough to exist as anything other than post-hole diggers in today's America.
 
2013-07-12 10:31:48 AM
Democrat:  You guys should really vote for this bill.
Republican:  STOP BULLYING ME!
Democrat:  You're facing a demographic nightmare.  I'm just saying...
Republican:  THIS IS EVERYTHING AMERICA HATES ABOUT WASHINGTON!
Democrat:  According to the polls, you're everything America hates about Washington.
Republican:  STOP OPPRESSING ME!
 
2013-07-12 10:31:52 AM

Diogenes: The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."


Yet, that may actually work in one arena - some courts have said that a EULA or Terms of Service were too long and complicated for a reasonable intelligent individual to be able to fully understand.

It would be nice if bills didn't have to be incredibly complex, but until we're allowed to line all the corporate lawyers up against the wall, it has to be done that way.
 
2013-07-12 10:32:58 AM

monoski: Great, now math and english have a liberal bias


Now? Been that way since Nixon.
 
2013-07-12 10:33:49 AM

monoski: Great, now math and english English have a liberal bias

[Needs period]

See me after Fark.
 
2013-07-12 10:34:50 AM
So according to Republicans a bill that fixes ALL problems about an issue is a bad thing?

Serious how do people  take these people seriously at all?
 
2013-07-12 10:34:51 AM

See You Next Tuesday: monoski: Great, now math and english English have a liberal bias[Needs period]

See me after Fark.


Thanks, I will try to do better on the next exam.
 
2013-07-12 10:34:52 AM
This isn't trolling, Subby.  It's a good old-fashioned telling off.
 
2013-07-12 10:36:07 AM
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said.

winace.courageunfettered.com
 
2013-07-12 10:36:09 AM
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

So he responds to critiques by attacking the person making them, drifts off-topic by talking about special interests, and makes assertions about the motives and actions of others without evidence. If only there were someone who could help him avoid making such mistakes.
 
2013-07-12 10:36:38 AM

Corvus: So according to Republicans a bill that fixes ALL problems about an issue is a bad thing?

Serious how do people  take these people seriously at all?



I like how the issue of amnesty is never brought up in the letter.
 
2013-07-12 10:37:06 AM
FTFA:

In a statement, Cassidy responded to Takano's edits.
"Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."


Maybe in the sense that he accurately points out the shiatty and ineffective arguments you make in the draft letter and would prefer congress to concentrate on legislative solutions...
 
2013-07-12 10:37:10 AM

Diogenes: The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."


And you don't even have people to read it for you and summarize!

What they really mean is that they can't process that much information at once.  Like trying to read a chapter book to a two year old on a sugar rush.  I just imagine a staffer trying to give someone the bullet points of the ACA while our congress critters replay episodes of the wonder years in their heads.
 
2013-07-12 10:41:37 AM
Intelligent people are like Kryptonite to republicans.
 
2013-07-12 10:42:20 AM

Diogenes: The "it's too long" argument is getting to be one of my favorites.  It should invite the ridicule of every voting American.  But it's become a valid excuse because we've become a nation of lazy dumbasses.

I would LOVE to be able to use that excuse on my job.  "Please fact check this manual against the product."  "Sorry, too long."


Well said.
 
2013-07-12 10:42:31 AM
Heaven forfend Cassidy should actually explain how his position addresses the criticisms raised by Takano, rather than making a specifics-free, off-topic non sequitur.
 
2013-07-12 10:44:50 AM
The best part about this stunt is that you know Cassidy and the other republicans are now going to have recurring dreams about forgetting that a book report was due.  That's probably why this made them so cranky.
 
2013-07-12 10:46:41 AM

Karac: I can see at least one thing he missed - they were either mixing Arabic and Roman numerals, or they think that 'XX' is actually a date in July.


I figured he was doing that to protect the writer's identity
 
2013-07-12 10:47:00 AM

Diogenes: "Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

Do you think the Republicans use the same people that service Obama's teleprompter to maintain their projector?  Cause that thing is on like 100% of the time.


My response to Cassidy:

1.

static.ddmcdn.com

2.

www.quitor.com

3. DIAF, seriously.
 
2013-07-12 10:48:33 AM

Karac: [24.media.tumblr.com image 850x557]

I can see at least one thing he missed - they were either mixing Arabic and Roman numerals, or they think that 'XX' is actually a date in July.


Likely a tk mark, draft the letter but insert the right date when you send it.

Diogenes: "Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said. "My colleagues and I are absolutely going to keep requesting that the Speaker listen to the American people, not the big money interests and rank partisans trying to bully and intimidate members of Congress to quickly pass this massive amnesty bill."

Do you think the Republicans use the same people that service Obama's teleprompter to maintain their projector?  Cause that thing is on like 100% of the time.


I don't understand why the response it to be a whiny biatch. It's a funny gesture, he could have just slapped a fake grin on his face, gave a half-hearted "Good show" through gritted teeth, then ignored it.
 
2013-07-12 10:49:47 AM
But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

Karac: [24.media.tumblr.com image 850x557]

I can see at least one thing he missed - they were either mixing Arabic and Roman numerals, or they think that 'XX' is actually a date in July.


The 'xx' is a standard placeholder for a date...which means the congressman didn't bother to dot all the I's or cross all the T's, as it were.

/big surprise
 
2013-07-12 10:50:09 AM

Tiber727: If only there were someone who could help him avoid making such mistakes.


At this point it would take divine intervention and God does not exist.
 
2013-07-12 10:53:25 AM
Republicans are complaining that the immigration bill passed by the Senate is too comprehensive? The only cure for that is to tack on some abortion restricting riders.
 
2013-07-12 10:54:29 AM

xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).


286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.
 
2013-07-12 11:02:32 AM
Bill to drop all education funding coming next from Republicans?
 
2013-07-12 11:03:26 AM
I thought that teachers didn't give an F if there was a comprehensible sentence somewhere on the page.

/I think a D+ would have been funnier.
 
2013-07-12 11:05:14 AM
Hmm, I should have used "were" instead of "was" because it is conditional. I am going to lose points there.
 
2013-07-12 11:10:22 AM

xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform?? When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate? (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).


I don't know if you know this, but running a country of 300 million people is a complicated process.  Just because you don't have the attention span to get through it, doesn't mean that the elected members of the nation's highest legislative body, who spent three weeks debating it, should be absolved of reading something with fewer words than a Harry Potter book.

Also, Senate bills are printed with tons of space between the lines to facilitate annotation and amendment.  Giant line numbers go down the left edge so everyone can quickly locate the text that a speaker is referring to.  As noted in the article that you didn't read, it would be 286 pages if they printed it in a standard format.  This is a standard trick used by Senators to decry a bill they don't like, because nearly every meaningful Senate bill has a large number of clauses.  Rubes like you fall for it year after year.

Finally, most of the bill amends existing law.  Which means each sentence has to include each and every other law that is being amended, with the exact change of wording, etc.  It's not sufficient for them to just write "And we will have a grant program to encourage high-skill immigrants to enter STEM jobs."  What does "high-skill" mean?  How much money?  Where does it come from?  Who allocates it?  What if money goes unspent one year?  What are the penalties for misusing the funds, or fraudulently applying?  When and how does the money get sent?    How will the Government track the money?  What positions will be created to implement this?  Who do they report to?

I'm sorry you think 286 pages is too hard to read.  I recommend that you never run for the Senate.
 
2013-07-12 11:11:58 AM

theknuckler_33: "Representative Takano's action and grandstanding represent everything Americans hate about Washington, but I won't let his partisanship stand for all of us," Cassidy said.

[winace.courageunfettered.com image 229x123]


More accurate in this case:

i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-12 11:13:20 AM

xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).


Have you ever read a bill? You have to show how the current law will be changed, including not only the new language but also the language being replaced or removed, indicated by strikeout. So you get page after page of proposed legislation which looks something like this:

"Title 8, section 1721, of the United States Code shall be amended to read: 'Any person who obtains information under this subsection without authorization or exceeding authorized access (as defined in section 1030 (e) of title 18), and who uses such information in the manner described in any of the paragraphs (1) through (7) of section 1030(a) of such title, or attempts to use such information in such manner, shall be subject to the same penalties as are applicable under section 1030(c) of such title for violation of that paragraph. You're ugly and your mother dresses you funny.'"
 
2013-07-12 11:13:48 AM

chimp_ninja: I'm sorry you think 286 pages is too hard to read. I recommend that you never run for the Senate.


24.media.tumblr.com

// from Takano's Tumblr
// which is alternately informative and hysterical
 
2013-07-12 11:18:27 AM

Corvus: So according to Republicans a bill that fixes ALL problems about an issue is a bad thing?

Serious how do people  take these people seriously at all?


No, the problem is that they need a bill to fix all the things so a bill that fixes all the things is a bad thing.

When put that way it makes much more sense.
 
2013-07-12 11:25:24 AM

Snarfangel: Hmm, I should have used "were" instead of "was" because it is conditional. I am going to lose points there.


Oh, subjunctive snap!
 
2013-07-12 11:29:41 AM
Immigration reform should be like 8 pages long only.  Don't ask me how I know this.
 
2013-07-12 11:39:43 AM

Paul Baumer: xanadian: But on the flipside, a *thousand* f*cking pages for immigration reform??  When did we elect Leo Tolstoy to the Senate?  (And at 500 pages and counting, the House isn't doing much better).

286 by word count, according to Takano.  And yes, something that impacts 11M+ people is going to be quite complicated.


Or they can just pass it and let the President can choose what parts he wants to enforce.  Sounds legit.
 
2013-07-12 11:41:17 AM

Dr Dreidel: chimp_ninja: I'm sorry you think 286 pages is too hard to read. I recommend that you never run for the Senate.

[24.media.tumblr.com image 500x323]

// from Takano's Tumblr
// which is alternately informative and hysterical


They need to add the length of the Galt Speech to that chart
 
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