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(CBS Pittsburgh)   "Taylor Swift is Satan and that 6,000 years is six days and death comes on the sixth day, so Taylor Swift is in danger"   (pittsburgh.cbslocal.com) divider line 62
    More: Strange, Taylor Swift, Heinz Field, concerts  
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2965 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2013 at 2:02 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



62 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-11 12:57:27 PM  
I think Satan would write better music.
 
2013-07-11 12:58:41 PM  
Sounds legit. Lock her up.
 
2013-07-11 12:59:19 PM  
So... was he trying to protect Satan (d/b/a Taylor Swift) by warning her that she was in danger?

If something happens to Taylor/Satan, where is she going to go? Detroit?
 
2013-07-11 01:17:52 PM  
Well, duh.
 
2013-07-11 01:34:41 PM  
Joe Jackson?  Is she really now the Prince of Sin?
 
2013-07-11 02:05:00 PM  
Taylor Swift music blaring all over Hell? Sounds about right.
 
2013-07-11 02:10:16 PM  
Can't you see-ee-ee
Your soul belongs to ME-EE-EE...
 
2013-07-11 02:10:31 PM  
Freedom of speech does not apply at sporting events and concerts.
 
2013-07-11 02:12:49 PM  
Satan just means adversary, and was never meant to be a specific individual. It's anyone who opposes you. Silly christians.

/and satanists
 
2013-07-11 02:12:52 PM  
Her next song will be about breaking up with Satan...   Well think about it, she's broken up with damn near everybody else...

Beels, you're a terrible guy.
You'll never never ever get a piece of my pie...
 
2013-07-11 02:13:44 PM  

Mugato: I think Satan would write better music.


Satan's all about the easy way to gratification, so I'm betting Satan's music would have as few words as possible, and such a simple melody that you could hear just two notes and suddenly the song is stuck in your head for hours.

Probably would sound like "Baby, baby, baby, ohh....like baby, baby, baby, oh...."
 
2013-07-11 02:14:49 PM  

metallion: Her next song will be about breaking up with Satan...   Well think about it, she's broken up with damn near everybody else...

Beels, you're a terrible guy.
You'll never never ever get a piece of my pie...


You're the reason for the pitchfork through my guitar...
 
2013-07-11 02:14:50 PM  
Wait a minute:

• Taylor Swift is Satan.
• Taylor Swift is in danger.

Do people really worry about Satan's health or safety? I get the impression that most people who believe in Satan's existence would be pretty happy if he suffered a setback or two.
 
2013-07-11 02:15:42 PM  
If he's saying that Taylor Swift will probably die in the next 1000 years, I think he might be on to something.
 
2013-07-11 02:16:01 PM  
 
2013-07-11 02:16:58 PM  

TommyymmoT: Here is a short video that proves she's a reptilian shapeshifter.


We're through the looking glass here, people.
 
2013-07-11 02:17:00 PM  

Uzzah: Do people really worry about Satan's health or safety? I get the impression that most people who believe in Satan's existence would be pretty happy if he suffered a setback or two.


Well he does have a history of injuries, and has been out of action for a couple of years...
 
2013-07-11 02:23:15 PM  
It's the purfeyect niight to use some auto tuuuune and drayess up leeyike heepsturrs.
 
2013-07-11 02:30:17 PM  
"My advice is don't say anything on the internet you wouldn't say in front of a police officer, a judge, a prosecutor or your mother," Shrager said.
Well, we're all boned.
 
2013-07-11 02:30:34 PM  
a) Swift is a  closet Lezbo
b) NTTIATWWT.
c) It's Pittsburgh, so what ever the assistant Vice Principle of the school district the arrest was made is will make a ruling very shortly and that will be that.
 
2013-07-11 02:31:36 PM  
i.perezhilton.com

Seems legit
 
2013-07-11 02:38:00 PM  
So, she's going to turn Milton's "Paradise Lost" into a whimsical teen ballad?
 
2013-07-11 02:41:30 PM  

Mugato: I think Satan would write better music.


From what I understand, he plays a pretty mean fiddle.
 
2013-07-11 02:44:11 PM  
No, no, the guy just misunderstood the name of Swift's manager. Taylor Swift is with STAN. Stan Lundberg. Heck of a guy.
 
2013-07-11 02:48:26 PM  

Whatthefark: Mugato: I think Satan would write better music.

From what I understand, he plays a pretty mean fiddle.


Still got his ass kicked by a kid
 
2013-07-11 02:50:11 PM  
Right now there's a bright pink notebook suffering furious scribbling of lyrics like

"I thought our love was perfect, our love would never fail
But you lied from your forked tongue to tip of your barbed tail"

"He always thought, always thought that I'd be with him
But last night, my heart had itself an exorcism
He thought he was so cool, he thought he had the mo-oves
But give me cowboy boots, not icky cloven ho-oves"
 
2013-07-11 02:55:45 PM  
Taylor just come on back if you ever want to try again.  Because I told you once, you son of a biatch, I'm the best there's ever been.
 
2013-07-11 02:56:28 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Whatthefark: Mugato: I think Satan would write better music.

From what I understand, he plays a pretty mean fiddle.

Still got his ass kicked by a kid


In fairness, the kid was the best that's ever been.

Also I feel like "study it out" should have been prominently placed in this story somewhere.
 
2013-07-11 02:58:01 PM  
Sounds like she finally found solid boyfriend material!
 
2013-07-11 02:58:36 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Taylor is with Satan?  Saddam is gonna get jealous.
 
2013-07-11 03:06:33 PM  
www.countryweekly.com
images.sodahead.com
i1.ytimg.com
media.avclub.com
i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2013-07-11 03:14:52 PM  
Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm
 
2013-07-11 03:16:50 PM  

loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm


So if she withholds sex she's a "fundie", if she gives it away she's a "slut".
 
2013-07-11 03:17:59 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm

So if she withholds sex she's a "fundie", if she gives it away she's a "slut".


Wow, girls suck at satisfying farkers
 
2013-07-11 03:19:34 PM  

devilEther: [www.countryweekly.com image 300x400]
[images.sodahead.com image 268x350]
[i1.ytimg.com image 320x180]
[media.avclub.com image 627x352]

i.dailymail.co.uk

What in Fark's name is going on with her mouth?!??!?
 
2013-07-11 03:23:44 PM  
In complete fairness, it's only because the rest of the dating pool has been used up already..
 
2013-07-11 03:25:20 PM  

LewDux: B.L.Z. Bub: loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm

So if she withholds sex she's a "fundie", if she gives it away she's a "slut".

Wow, girls suck at satisfying farkers


I just want to know what a girl has to do to not get insulted by the left-wing socialists here.
 
2013-07-11 03:48:55 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: LewDux: B.L.Z. Bub: loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm

So if she withholds sex she's a "fundie", if she gives it away she's a "slut".

Wow, girls suck at satisfying farkers

I just want to know what a girl has to do to not get insulted by the left-wing socialists here.


Back-to-back abortions?
 
2013-07-11 04:00:18 PM  

LesserEvil: What in Fark's name is going on with her mouth?!??!?


She went out and got some Fifty Cent Teef
 
2013-07-11 04:02:08 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: LewDux: B.L.Z. Bub: loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm

So if she withholds sex she's a "fundie", if she gives it away she's a "slut".

Wow, girls suck at satisfying farkers

I just want to know what a girl has to do to not get insulted by the left-wing socialists here.


Sorry, but if a female exists she's gonna get insulted, and even the fictional ones are targetted.
 
2013-07-11 04:05:59 PM  
Satan is pretty good looking
 
2013-07-11 04:11:47 PM  
They found a nut and prevented him from becoming a threat or disrupting the event?

That really is some fine police work there, Lou.
 
2013-07-11 04:15:43 PM  
I don't think she's that pretty... she has a ferret/rat/possum face...

//maybe she is the devil....
 
2013-07-11 04:29:55 PM  

LesserEvil: What in Fark's name is going on with her mouth?!??!?


She certainly had the Teeth of Satan...
 
2013-07-11 04:36:23 PM  
on a tangent:
Yesterday I was browsing a magazine with an article about mentally ill people. One of the example people had an obsessive crush on the same musician that I had an obsessive crush on when I was a teenager. I felt simultaneously justified and weird.

So do the people with crushes on Taylor Swift feel weird when they read this kind of thing? Or do they think "Yeah! One less weirdo between me and my love!"
 
2013-07-11 04:38:01 PM  

loki see loki do: Just needs a solid deep dickins is all.
She is America's Slutcasetm


I thought the problem was that she didn't put out.
 
2013-07-11 04:56:21 PM  

B.L.Z. Bub: "My advice is don't say anything on the internet you wouldn't say in front of a police officer, a judge, a prosecutor or your mother," Shrager said.
Well, we're all boned.


You talk about getting boned in front of your mother? You' ve got a really open-minded family.
 
2013-07-11 04:59:31 PM  

EdgeRunner: B.L.Z. Bub: "My advice is don't say anything on the internet you wouldn't say in front of a police officer, a judge, a prosecutor or your mother," Shrager said.
Well, we're all boned.

You talk about getting boned in front of your mother? You' ve got a really open-minded family.


Reading comprehension. You lacks it.
 
2013-07-11 05:02:04 PM  
Good thing we saved that cheerleader a few years back.
 
2013-07-11 05:35:33 PM  

Whatthefark: Mugato: I think Satan would write better music.

From what I understand, he plays a pretty mean fiddle.


Not the best though.

/would let Swift corrupt me
//then write songs about me too
 
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