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(Uproxx)   The full trailer for "Sharknado" has been released and somehow the internet is still standing. For now, anyway   (uproxx.com) divider line 76
    More: Sick, Sharknado, Whose Line Is It Anyway, standings, studio system, DreamWorks  
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3460 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2013 at 7:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-11 06:27:26 AM
Are the sharknadoes also going to be on fire from a Gulf of Mexico oil slick washing on shore during the storm and set alight by lightning?

/because I would watch that
 
2013-07-11 07:04:52 AM
Even with this movie, Lindsay Lohan is still kicking Tara Reid's ass in the race to the bottom of the garbage can.  At least Reid can still string enough hours of sobriety together for something sort of interesting.  I guess.
 
2013-07-11 07:26:55 AM
Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact
 
2013-07-11 07:38:23 AM

PainInTheASP: Even with this movie, Lindsay Lohan is still kicking Tara Reid's ass in the race to the bottom of the garbage can.  At least Reid can still string enough hours of sobriety together for something sort of interesting.  I guess.


The big thing is that Reid is still insurable; no one cares if she shows up strung out, because she shows up.  Lindsay didn't, which is the single worst sin you can commit in Hollywood.
 
2013-07-11 07:57:10 AM
Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?

And unless the girls are going to spend at least half the movie running around topless, I don't see any reason to watch it.
 
2013-07-11 07:58:01 AM
I demand to know how Brooke Hogan, the world's preeminent shark related movie actress, was not cast as the lead role!

Look at this resume. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1740122/ LOOK AT IT!

Sharknado, you are dead to me.
 
2013-07-11 08:05:45 AM
WTF I don't even. that clip gave me brain cancer.
 
2013-07-11 08:06:43 AM

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Move the decimal to the left one spot.

/at least one.
 
2013-07-11 08:08:49 AM

The Muthaship: Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact

Move the decimal to the left one spot.

/at least one.


You're obviously not a golfer, are you?
 
2013-07-11 08:14:08 AM

Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?


I want to get this joke, but it's too early....
 
2013-07-11 08:17:19 AM
WHAR is PirhanaQuake?
 
2013-07-11 08:19:56 AM

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


I got a good deal, then.
 
2013-07-11 08:20:11 AM

The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....


Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.
 
2013-07-11 08:20:57 AM

Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.


Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.
 
2013-07-11 08:24:12 AM

The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.


You just weren't in your element.
 
2013-07-11 08:25:43 AM
90201 ??
 
2013-07-11 08:26:31 AM

Lego_Addict: You just weren't in your element.


I've been out of sorts ever since my rug got stolen.

/I still think she'll do it for $100
//possibly $10
 
2013-07-11 08:26:41 AM
The movie looks awful, which is about par for the Asylum.  Though their movies usually have tits, so at least it has that going for it.
 
2013-07-11 08:28:05 AM

The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.


That joke really tied the thread together.
 
2013-07-11 08:28:33 AM
I'm speechless. I don't have the words to describe what that was. And it's not straight to beta max?
 
2013-07-11 08:38:03 AM
I do like the "We're going to need a bigger chopper" line.

This will be classic!

A classic what, well that's different question
 
2013-07-11 08:39:36 AM

IrateShadow: The movie looks awful, which is about par for the Asylum.  Though their movies usually have tits, so at least it has that going for it.


So Asylum is the new Troma?
 
2013-07-11 08:39:50 AM
...I paused Herb Alpert for that?
 
2013-07-11 08:41:55 AM
Ahahahaha.  DEFINITELY in my netflix list.  Looks a bit better than Piranha3D.
 
2013-07-11 08:43:08 AM
I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there.

/ It's a bukkake of sharks!
// Sharkkake!!
/// Coming soon!!!
 
2013-07-11 08:46:24 AM

Smashed Hat: I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there.

/ It's a bukkake of sharks!
// Sharkkake!!
/// Coming soon!!!


Someone in The Valley just got rousted out of bed and told to find a dozen shark outfits and a mop.
 
2013-07-11 08:48:25 AM

Lexx: Ahahahaha.  DEFINITELY in my netflix list.  Looks a bit better than Piranha3D.


Piranha 3D was a lot more entertaining than it had any right to be.

And that trailer put a big ol' stupid grin on my face. Breaking suspension of disbelief is one of the few things where you MUST go full retard if you're going to do it at all.
 
2013-07-11 08:50:10 AM

Dingleberry Dickwad: So Asylum is the new Troma?


Except for the occasional project like this, they aren't as over the top as Troma.  They mostly make shiatty high school sex comedies and "parodies" of blockbuster movies that happen to hit redbox at the same time as the movie it's based on.
 
2013-07-11 08:54:11 AM

IrateShadow: Dingleberry Dickwad: So Asylum is the new Troma?

Except for the occasional project like this, they aren't as over the top as Troma.  They mostly make shiatty high school sex comedies and "parodies" of blockbuster movies that happen to hit redbox at the same time as the movie it's based on.


Their Thor movie is magnificent to watch in it's sheer awfulness, but with Jersey Shore Shark Attack they somehow lucked into a weird tongue-in-cheek comedy that actually works; JSSA knows exactly what it is and revels in it.
 
2013-07-11 09:03:35 AM

Lego_Addict: The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.

You just weren't in your element.



Shut the fark up Lego_Addict
 
2013-07-11 09:16:57 AM

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Just another day in Taradise.
 
2013-07-11 09:17:45 AM
Did....did he saw a shark in half with a chainsaw?!

Smashed Hat: I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there


The USED to?!

downloadparsi.us

Yes it's as bad as it looks

www.chud.com
 
2013-07-11 09:31:40 AM
shiat like "Sharknado" is why I canceled my cable.
 
2013-07-11 09:31:57 AM
i560.photobucket.com

/they're letting grade-schoolers write the scripts now?
 
2013-07-11 09:37:29 AM
So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head
 
2013-07-11 09:41:23 AM

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head


Isn't it one of those shiatty made for TV movies that gets shown on the syfillis channel? I don't recall them ever showing tits.
 
2013-07-11 09:42:18 AM

Facetious_Speciest: I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.


Sharks have tits?

/notsureifwant.jpg
 
2013-07-11 09:42:59 AM
Well, :(
 
2013-07-11 09:44:08 AM

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
 
2013-07-11 09:46:44 AM

Uncle Tractor: Sharks have tits?


Hm... well ... Oh, why the hell not:

*GISes "shark tits"*

*blinks*

That was even more WTF than subby's trailer.

/NSWF, of course
//but not in a good way
 
2013-07-11 09:49:15 AM

Flappyhead: Lego_Addict: The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.

You just weren't in your element.


Shut the fark up Lego_Addict


I am the Walrus.
 
2013-07-11 09:51:28 AM

Slives: Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?


Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?


Guys, guys, guys... it's not a hurricane.

It's a tornado.

A tornado full of sharks.

Hence, Sharknado.

Now, a hurricane, that would be different, and it would have to be some other kind of creature.

I'm thinking a freighter full of venomous snakes crossing the Atlantic - the storm passes over, breaking open shipping containers and sucking the snakes up into the winds, where they wreak havoc first on the Carribean, before the storm makes full landfall in Miami.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum
 
2013-07-11 09:52:56 AM

JeffKochosky: Slives: Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Guys, guys, guys... it's not a hurricane.

It's a tornado.

A tornado full of sharks.

Hence, Sharknado.

Now, a hurricane, that would be different, and it would have to be some other kind of creature.

I'm thinking a freighter full of venomous snakes crossing the Atlantic - the storm passes over, breaking open shipping containers and sucking the snakes up into the winds, where they wreak havoc first on the Carribean, before the storm makes full landfall in Miami.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum


Snakes in a 'Cane
 
2013-07-11 09:52:59 AM

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head


It will still be better than the Star Trek reboot because it won't have the pretentious air of trying to be a serious movie that relies on completely idiotic and insultingly unbelievable plot points.

I'm telling you, there's something to be said for a movie that doesn't care how over the top it is or what you think of it. It's like a roller coaster. You don't care how it works, nobody cares if you know or tries to explain it to you, it's just completely balls-out fun.
 
2013-07-11 09:58:07 AM
How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.
 
2013-07-11 10:02:05 AM

Angry Buddha: How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.


From what I've heard, it actually sucks a lot. When you go from the simple decision of what product to rip-off to a "completed" project in 4 months (their average turnaround), you're not gonna have much fun.
 
2013-07-11 10:12:10 AM
Sounds like good watching.
 
2013-07-11 10:21:45 AM

Uncle Tractor: Uncle Tractor: Sharks have tits?

Hm... well ... Oh, why the hell not:

*GISes "shark tits"*

*blinks*

That was even more WTF than subby's trailer.

/NSWF, of course
//but not in a good way


Is it bad that I did the same thing, and it wasn't as bad as I expected?
 
2013-07-11 10:29:29 AM
I am starting to have doubts that this plot is feasible.
 
2013-07-11 10:35:24 AM

scottydoesntknow: Angry Buddha: How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.

From what I've heard, it actually sucks a lot. When you go from the simple decision of what product to rip-off to a "completed" project in 4 months (their average turnaround), you're not gonna have much fun.


debbiedowner.jpg
 
2013-07-11 10:36:58 AM

LoneWolf343: Is it bad that I did the same thing, and it wasn't as bad as I expected?


It's not 4chan material, of course, but I did the GIS with a "nah, nobody's into  that" attitude. Well, as it turns out, there are people who are into that.
 
2013-07-11 10:50:35 AM

JeffKochosky: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum


better yet: GATORCANE
 
2013-07-11 11:20:59 AM

skozlaw: It will still be better than the Star Trek reboot because it won't have the pretentious air of trying to be a serious movie that relies on completely idiotic and insultingly unbelievable plot points.

I'm telling you, there's something to be said for a movie that doesn't care how over the top it is or what you think of it. It's like a roller coaster. You don't care how it works, nobody cares if you know or tries to explain it to you, it's just completely balls-out fun.


This. Also, I'm in the minority apparently but I did not like the last Star Trek movie.
 
2013-07-11 11:28:31 AM
New drinking game: take a shot for every Wilhelm. Doubtful if you can make it 10 minutes.
 
2013-07-11 11:34:57 AM

Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.

That joke really tied the thread together.


I am the walrus
 
2013-07-11 11:38:17 AM

Grand PBUH: I am the walrus


V.I. Lenin. Vladimir Ilyich Ulyanov!
 
2013-07-11 11:51:36 AM
Bait or Oscar bait? Chums, it's up to you!
 
2013-07-11 11:54:01 AM

JeffKochosky: Slives: Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Guys, guys, guys... it's not a hurricane.

It's a tornado.

waterspout.

A tornado
 waterspout full of sharks.

/FTFY
 
2013-07-11 11:57:57 AM

FlashHarry: JeffKochosky: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum

better yet: GATORCANE


HORNETCANE
 
2013-07-11 12:16:07 PM

Angry Buddha: How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.


The guys who made Sharktopus knew exactly what they were making and CLEARLY had fun both writing and filming it.  There were some behind-the-scenes things with the actors and THEY looked like they were having fun with it.  I'm gonna watch the hell out of this one.
 
2013-07-11 12:18:22 PM
Will it make the parking lot where I work look like it did yesterday?

i.imgur.com


And will it do the same thing to my car ?

i.imgur.com


/I had a really rough day yesterday
 
2013-07-11 12:18:43 PM
From the folks that brought you Sharktopus (starring Eric Roberts - not as the Sharktopus, though)?
 
2013-07-11 12:39:20 PM
Focus group:
What would be better than a movie about tornadoes?
Tornadoes and sharks!
www.adweek.com
 
2013-07-11 01:13:17 PM
How wonderfully, insanely awful (and I do mean in the sense of "inspiring awe").  At one point, when they're trying to blow up the tornado with a helicopter (???), some chick yells, "We're gonna need a bigger chopper!"
 
2013-07-11 01:17:39 PM
Cinematic masterpiece.

Crowning achievement of this decadent modern age of film.
 
2013-07-11 02:07:57 PM
Damnit, they're ripping off a Futurama idea.

Pay Groening royalties so we can have more Futurama!
 
2013-07-11 02:13:49 PM

Shadow Blasko: And will it do the same thing to my car ?


That your RX8?

/I has one too
 
2013-07-11 02:31:51 PM

KatjaMouse: This. Also, I'm in the minority apparently but I did not like the last Star Trek movie.


I don't mind that they turned into a straight action flick, my mistake was that about ten minutes after it was over I started thinking about it. Then the entire thing just annoyed me.
 
2013-07-11 03:59:35 PM

Uncle Tractor: [i560.photobucket.com image 360x332]

/they're letting grade-schoolers write the scripts now?


From an interview with the screenwriter (in a different thread):

Interviewer: What would happen if you spliced a shark with dark matter?

Screenwriter: You'd have a sequel!
 
2013-07-11 04:02:35 PM

J. Frank Parnell: Cinematic masterpiece.

Crowning achievement of this decadent modern age of film.


At least it's not another goddamn comic book.
 
2013-07-11 04:03:13 PM

Sliding Carp: J. Frank Parnell: Cinematic masterpiece.

Crowning achievement of this decadent modern age of film.

At least it's not another goddamn comic book.


Although, come to think of it, I wonder who has the novelization rights?
 
2013-07-11 04:40:02 PM

Sliding Carp: J. Frank Parnell: Cinematic masterpiece.

Crowning achievement of this decadent modern age of film.

At least it's not another goddamn comic book.


It's pretty close to an Aquaman adaptation

static.comicvine.com


SHARKSPLOSION!
 
2013-07-11 04:41:15 PM

Uncle Tractor: LoneWolf343: Is it bad that I did the same thing, and it wasn't as bad as I expected?

It's not 4chan material, of course, but I did the GIS with a "nah, nobody's into  that" attitude. Well, as it turns out, there are people who are into that.


First time you heard of furries, I take it? Well, you are right in the sense that sharks are rare in the fandom, but that may or may not sure to lack of creativity.
 
2013-07-11 05:15:21 PM
Wow.  I feel like I'm being trolled.
 
2013-07-11 06:32:25 PM
pbs.twimg.com
From my twitter feed, retweeted by Wil Wheaton
 
2013-07-11 07:31:14 PM
'Sharknado' trailer looks more interesting than the 'Pacific Rim' trailer.
 
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