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(Uproxx)   The full trailer for "Sharknado" has been released and somehow the internet is still standing. For now, anyway   (uproxx.com) divider line 76
    More: Sick, Sharknado, Whose Line Is It Anyway, standings, studio system, DreamWorks  
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3462 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2013 at 7:35 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-11 06:27:26 AM  
Are the sharknadoes also going to be on fire from a Gulf of Mexico oil slick washing on shore during the storm and set alight by lightning?

/because I would watch that
 
2013-07-11 07:04:52 AM  
Even with this movie, Lindsay Lohan is still kicking Tara Reid's ass in the race to the bottom of the garbage can.  At least Reid can still string enough hours of sobriety together for something sort of interesting.  I guess.
 
2013-07-11 07:26:55 AM  
Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact
 
2013-07-11 07:38:23 AM  

PainInTheASP: Even with this movie, Lindsay Lohan is still kicking Tara Reid's ass in the race to the bottom of the garbage can.  At least Reid can still string enough hours of sobriety together for something sort of interesting.  I guess.


The big thing is that Reid is still insurable; no one cares if she shows up strung out, because she shows up.  Lindsay didn't, which is the single worst sin you can commit in Hollywood.
 
2013-07-11 07:57:10 AM  
Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?

And unless the girls are going to spend at least half the movie running around topless, I don't see any reason to watch it.
 
2013-07-11 07:58:01 AM  
I demand to know how Brooke Hogan, the world's preeminent shark related movie actress, was not cast as the lead role!

Look at this resume. http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1740122/ LOOK AT IT!

Sharknado, you are dead to me.
 
2013-07-11 08:05:45 AM  
WTF I don't even. that clip gave me brain cancer.
 
2013-07-11 08:06:43 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Move the decimal to the left one spot.

/at least one.
 
2013-07-11 08:08:49 AM  

The Muthaship: Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact

Move the decimal to the left one spot.

/at least one.


You're obviously not a golfer, are you?
 
2013-07-11 08:14:08 AM  

Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?


I want to get this joke, but it's too early....
 
2013-07-11 08:17:19 AM  
WHAR is PirhanaQuake?
 
2013-07-11 08:19:56 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


I got a good deal, then.
 
2013-07-11 08:20:11 AM  

The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....


Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.
 
2013-07-11 08:20:57 AM  

Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.


Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.
 
2013-07-11 08:24:12 AM  

The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.


You just weren't in your element.
 
2013-07-11 08:25:43 AM  
90201 ??
 
2013-07-11 08:26:31 AM  

Lego_Addict: You just weren't in your element.


I've been out of sorts ever since my rug got stolen.

/I still think she'll do it for $100
//possibly $10
 
2013-07-11 08:26:41 AM  
The movie looks awful, which is about par for the Asylum.  Though their movies usually have tits, so at least it has that going for it.
 
2013-07-11 08:28:05 AM  

The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.


That joke really tied the thread together.
 
2013-07-11 08:28:33 AM  
I'm speechless. I don't have the words to describe what that was. And it's not straight to beta max?
 
2013-07-11 08:38:03 AM  
I do like the "We're going to need a bigger chopper" line.

This will be classic!

A classic what, well that's different question
 
2013-07-11 08:39:36 AM  

IrateShadow: The movie looks awful, which is about par for the Asylum.  Though their movies usually have tits, so at least it has that going for it.


So Asylum is the new Troma?
 
2013-07-11 08:39:50 AM  
...I paused Herb Alpert for that?
 
2013-07-11 08:41:55 AM  
Ahahahaha.  DEFINITELY in my netflix list.  Looks a bit better than Piranha3D.
 
2013-07-11 08:43:08 AM  
I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there.

/ It's a bukkake of sharks!
// Sharkkake!!
/// Coming soon!!!
 
2013-07-11 08:46:24 AM  

Smashed Hat: I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there.

/ It's a bukkake of sharks!
// Sharkkake!!
/// Coming soon!!!


Someone in The Valley just got rousted out of bed and told to find a dozen shark outfits and a mop.
 
2013-07-11 08:48:25 AM  

Lexx: Ahahahaha.  DEFINITELY in my netflix list.  Looks a bit better than Piranha3D.


Piranha 3D was a lot more entertaining than it had any right to be.

And that trailer put a big ol' stupid grin on my face. Breaking suspension of disbelief is one of the few things where you MUST go full retard if you're going to do it at all.
 
2013-07-11 08:50:10 AM  

Dingleberry Dickwad: So Asylum is the new Troma?


Except for the occasional project like this, they aren't as over the top as Troma.  They mostly make shiatty high school sex comedies and "parodies" of blockbuster movies that happen to hit redbox at the same time as the movie it's based on.
 
2013-07-11 08:54:11 AM  

IrateShadow: Dingleberry Dickwad: So Asylum is the new Troma?

Except for the occasional project like this, they aren't as over the top as Troma.  They mostly make shiatty high school sex comedies and "parodies" of blockbuster movies that happen to hit redbox at the same time as the movie it's based on.


Their Thor movie is magnificent to watch in it's sheer awfulness, but with Jersey Shore Shark Attack they somehow lucked into a weird tongue-in-cheek comedy that actually works; JSSA knows exactly what it is and revels in it.
 
2013-07-11 09:03:35 AM  

Lego_Addict: The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.

You just weren't in your element.



Shut the fark up Lego_Addict
 
2013-07-11 09:16:57 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Just another day in Taradise.
 
2013-07-11 09:17:45 AM  
Did....did he saw a shark in half with a chainsaw?!

Smashed Hat: I love Asylum for stuff like this. They used to make those cheesy ripoffs of popular movies to confuse well-meaning grandmothers at Best Buy (Transmorphers, anyone?) but they really found their niche now. I want to work there


The USED to?!

downloadparsi.us

Yes it's as bad as it looks

www.chud.com
 
2013-07-11 09:31:40 AM  
shiat like "Sharknado" is why I canceled my cable.
 
2013-07-11 09:31:57 AM  
i560.photobucket.com

/they're letting grade-schoolers write the scripts now?
 
2013-07-11 09:37:29 AM  
So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head
 
2013-07-11 09:41:23 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head


Isn't it one of those shiatty made for TV movies that gets shown on the syfillis channel? I don't recall them ever showing tits.
 
2013-07-11 09:42:18 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.


Sharks have tits?

/notsureifwant.jpg
 
2013-07-11 09:42:59 AM  
Well, :(
 
2013-07-11 09:44:08 AM  

Popcorn Johnny: Tare Reid would actually suck your cock for $1,000 - Fact


Uh, I'm just gonna go find a cash machine.
 
2013-07-11 09:46:44 AM  

Uncle Tractor: Sharks have tits?


Hm... well ... Oh, why the hell not:

*GISes "shark tits"*

*blinks*

That was even more WTF than subby's trailer.

/NSWF, of course
//but not in a good way
 
2013-07-11 09:49:15 AM  

Flappyhead: Lego_Addict: The Muthaship: Nabb1: The Muthaship: Nabb1: You're obviously not a golfer, are you?

I want to get this joke, but it's too early....

Think "The Big Lebowski." Bunny (Reid) tells the Dude she'll suck his cock for $1,000.

Ah, yes.

I am now ashamed.

You just weren't in your element.


Shut the fark up Lego_Addict


I am the Walrus.
 
2013-07-11 09:51:28 AM  

Slives: Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?


Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?


Guys, guys, guys... it's not a hurricane.

It's a tornado.

A tornado full of sharks.

Hence, Sharknado.

Now, a hurricane, that would be different, and it would have to be some other kind of creature.

I'm thinking a freighter full of venomous snakes crossing the Atlantic - the storm passes over, breaking open shipping containers and sucking the snakes up into the winds, where they wreak havoc first on the Carribean, before the storm makes full landfall in Miami.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum
 
2013-07-11 09:52:56 AM  

JeffKochosky: Slives: Really? A hurricane on the West Coast? Or did they somehow misplace the Hollywood sign?

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Guys, guys, guys... it's not a hurricane.

It's a tornado.

A tornado full of sharks.

Hence, Sharknado.

Now, a hurricane, that would be different, and it would have to be some other kind of creature.

I'm thinking a freighter full of venomous snakes crossing the Atlantic - the storm passes over, breaking open shipping containers and sucking the snakes up into the winds, where they wreak havoc first on the Carribean, before the storm makes full landfall in Miami.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you... COBRACANE!

/Starring Debbie Gibson, Michael Ironside, and Lou Diamond Phillips
//Coming Spring 2014, from Asylum


Snakes in a 'Cane
 
2013-07-11 09:52:59 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: So...it's a hurricane that shoots sharks at people?

Like a dog that barks bees?

I am going to watch this. For...the tits. Yeah, the tits. That's the ticket.

/hangs head


It will still be better than the Star Trek reboot because it won't have the pretentious air of trying to be a serious movie that relies on completely idiotic and insultingly unbelievable plot points.

I'm telling you, there's something to be said for a movie that doesn't care how over the top it is or what you think of it. It's like a roller coaster. You don't care how it works, nobody cares if you know or tries to explain it to you, it's just completely balls-out fun.
 
2013-07-11 09:58:07 AM  
How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.
 
2013-07-11 10:02:05 AM  

Angry Buddha: How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.


From what I've heard, it actually sucks a lot. When you go from the simple decision of what product to rip-off to a "completed" project in 4 months (their average turnaround), you're not gonna have much fun.
 
2013-07-11 10:12:10 AM  
Sounds like good watching.
 
2013-07-11 10:21:45 AM  

Uncle Tractor: Uncle Tractor: Sharks have tits?

Hm... well ... Oh, why the hell not:

*GISes "shark tits"*

*blinks*

That was even more WTF than subby's trailer.

/NSWF, of course
//but not in a good way


Is it bad that I did the same thing, and it wasn't as bad as I expected?
 
2013-07-11 10:29:29 AM  
I am starting to have doubts that this plot is feasible.
 
2013-07-11 10:35:24 AM  

scottydoesntknow: Angry Buddha: How insanely fun would it be to be on the writing team for one of these movies? Nothing is too ridiculous. It has to be a riot.

From what I've heard, it actually sucks a lot. When you go from the simple decision of what product to rip-off to a "completed" project in 4 months (their average turnaround), you're not gonna have much fun.


debbiedowner.jpg
 
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