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(Entertainment Weekly)   If Clooney can play a gay Batman, Andrew Garfield wants some hot interracial gay spider sex   (insidemovies.ew.com) divider line 90
    More: Interesting, Andrew Garfield, Spider-Man, Batman, Marc Webb, bisexuality, Mary Jane, Michael B. Jordan, spiders  
•       •       •

3584 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 11 Jul 2013 at 1:06 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



90 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-11 12:11:50 AM
I was promised that Prop 8 would lead to turtles; I'm not as big of a fan of spiders. Then again, what interracial spider flirtation might look like:
www.tokyotimes.org
 
2013-07-11 01:14:45 AM
Wow. He seems to have put quite a bit of... thought into the scenario.
 
2013-07-11 01:17:17 AM
Want to really get some anti-gay sentiment going with the general normally "do'nt give a fark population"? make spiderman gay...

/seriously make up a new superhero thats gay...actually i'm sure there are a few already...
 
2013-07-11 01:17:27 AM
"I was kind of joking, but kind of not joking about MJ," he tells EW. "And I was like, 'What if MJ is a dude?'

If Spiderman is gay, than MJ is the beard, NOT a guy.
 
2013-07-11 01:20:38 AM
24.media.tumblr.com

"Sweet Christmas!"
 
2013-07-11 01:22:16 AM

Sgt Otter: [24.media.tumblr.com image 400x599]

"Sweet Christmas!"


So...I play this game on Facebook that has various Marvel characters, and he's one. I wish they offered that costume as an alternative.

Yeah, I put too much thought into that.
 
2013-07-11 01:22:27 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

or...

i3.kym-cdn.com

/Shut up Garfield. Please don't ruin Spidey any more then you already have.
 
2013-07-11 01:25:42 AM
Whar OBVIOUS tag?
 
2013-07-11 01:32:37 AM
media.comicbookmovie.com
But I poop from there...

 
2013-07-11 01:36:36 AM
Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.
 
2013-07-11 01:43:12 AM

natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.


Like Alan Scott, oh, wait they already did.
 
2013-07-11 01:46:57 AM
Fun fact: spiders basically reproduce by the male putting sperm on one of his appendages, called a pedipalp, which he then shoves into the female spider. This means spiders basically reproduce by fisting.
 
2013-07-11 01:48:16 AM
I basically used basically one to many times when I fiddled with the wording on that.
 
2013-07-11 01:50:14 AM
Cartoon came around on my Facebook again the other day.  Wolverine and Spidey crouching side by side.
Wolverine: 'You know who f*cks real good?  Redheads.'
They fistbump.
 
2013-07-11 01:59:16 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...


Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D
 
2013-07-11 02:01:00 AM

haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D



4.bp.blogspot.com

Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?
 
2013-07-11 02:08:21 AM
Why not both?


/bisex
 
2013-07-11 02:10:41 AM
No thanks. Bring on Ultimate Colossus or Hooded Justice if you wanna go that direction.
 
2013-07-11 02:11:08 AM

PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D




Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?


Hellz yeah!! Lol, never saw this before, thanks! What is this anyway?
 
2013-07-11 02:22:56 AM

spicorama: Want to really get some anti-gay sentiment going with the general normally "do'nt give a fark population"? make spiderman gay...

/seriously make up a new superhero thats gay...actually i'm sure there are a few already...


d1466nnw0ex81e.cloudfront.net

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-11 02:28:29 AM

spicorama: Want to really get some anti-gay sentiment going with the general normally "do'nt give a fark population"? make spiderman gay...

/seriously make up a new superhero thats gay...actually i'm sure there are a few already...


You know how I know you don't read Spidey? Because there's no farking way the fan base could be more pissed off than they are now with current Spidey changes.

Dan Slott. Superior Spider-Man

/drops keyboard, wanders off to read more Marvel
 
2013-07-11 02:39:14 AM

blacksharpiemarker: or...



/Shut up Garfield. Please don't ruin Spidey any more then you already have.


This thread could be entirely cartoon spider meme pics and it would come up aces.

Spiderman gay? Eh, Batwoman was a lesbian, so I just shrug. Will he be getting hhand jobs from Doc Ock? Will Kraven be craving some sweet Parker meat? Will Skip Westcott start wearning a mask as the Knob Goblin?
 
2013-07-11 02:47:39 AM

haolegirl: PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D

Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?

Hellz yeah!! Lol, never saw this before, thanks! What is this anyway?


It's from a movie called Wonder Boys. They're actually secondary characters in it. Good flick. Check it out sometime.
 
2013-07-11 02:51:17 AM
So... he wants to get with another actor, but lacking the courage to directly ask for a date, he wants the studio to hire him to play his "pretend" lover in a movie? His idea of how the Hollywood casting couch works is so naive and backwards, it's almost cute.

It's also a potential job ender. When you've just starred in a mediocre superhero reboot, a film whose entire purpose was to prove "anyone can be Spidey because it's all about the suit, not the actor", you don't go making loud, public requests to the director about any sort of cast or script changes. You're no Christian Bale, kid. You're barely a Val Kilmer, and the LAST thing you want to do, for ANY reason WHATSOEVER, is start drawing direct comparisons between yourself and George "Helped Kill A Superhero Franchise For Almost Two Decades" Clooney. They won't be able to throw you out the door fast enough.

/meanwhile, Ryan Reynolds quietly waits for his inevitable turn as Spider-Man, hoping the shooting schedule won't interfere with his upcoming lead roles in Deadpool, Doctor Strange, Adam Strange, The Sandman, Hawkman, Aquaman, Animal Man, Captain Marvel, Captain Planet, Captain Carrot, and the reboots of Swamp Thing, Howard the Duck, and Batman (also featuring Jaden Smith as Robin, Willow Smith as Batgirl, Jada Smith as Catwoman, Will Smith as the Joker, and the voice of Tom Cruise as 'Batmite').
 
2013-07-11 02:57:13 AM

PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D

Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?

Hellz yeah!! Lol, never saw this before, thanks! What is this anyway?

It's from a movie called Wonder Boys. They're actually secondary characters in it. Good flick. Check it out sometime.


It sounds vaguely familiar...
 
2013-07-11 03:30:27 AM
I don't really care about Spider Man, but I think the answer to the question "Why can't he be gay?" is...because he isn't gay.  Why can't a gay person be straight?  Because they are gay.  Making a character gay just to make a character gay is not necessary.

Why can't Ace and Gary be hetero...?
 
2013-07-11 03:30:44 AM
i0.kym-cdn.com

/really, took this long?
 
2013-07-11 03:46:30 AM
I made a comment about this on IGN earlier: it was something to the effect of, "If you get passionately angry about this, you need to grow up and get a life." Predictably, it was immediately down-voted 6+ times and given bizarre, semi-racist replies by the hugely successful and socially healthy residents there.
 
2013-07-11 03:50:13 AM

haolegirl: PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D

Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?

Hellz yeah!! Lol, never saw this before, thanks! What is this anyway?

It's from a movie called Wonder Boys. They're actually secondary characters in it. Good flick. Check it out sometime.

It sounds vaguely familiar...


It's really good.  Based on a Michael Chabon novel, with Michael Douglas in the lead (in a pink bath robe), a stolen Ford Falrlaine and a transvestite with a tuba.  And Bob Dylan won the Oscar for Best Song for it.

/one of my favorite films.
 
2013-07-11 04:10:41 AM
Oh FFS.
 
2013-07-11 04:24:31 AM
No. You don't throw out that many years of canon.
 
2013-07-11 04:34:16 AM

rzrwiresunrise: Oh FFS.


Seriously.
 
2013-07-11 04:37:06 AM
Most super heroes are kinda gay, aren't they? I mean, they are extremely fit and wear tight clothing. Just saying.
 
2013-07-11 04:52:10 AM
It's really "Amazing" how stupid ppl really are. Gay...superheroes. Why are you wishing this to be? If they weren't in conception then STFU and keep you lifestyle to yourself.

Clooney? Gay Batman? Not even sure where this came to be. Must in some closet that you people can't stop creating BS ideas about. He was NOT gay in that movie...no matter how you hold your wrist while watching it.
 
2013-07-11 04:52:44 AM
stuffpoint.com
 
2013-07-11 05:10:18 AM

rynthetyn: No. You don't throw out that many years of canon.


Unless you're Bendis.
 
2013-07-11 05:42:34 AM
Maybe they'll make a "What If..." comic out of it.  Mostly, I was just amused by the horrified reactions from the EW readers.
 
2013-07-11 06:15:30 AM
Spider-Man. Of ALL superheroes...
images2.wikia.nocookie.net
Loose lips, spends 90% of his time squatting with his legs splayed...
He's gonna need to web up some strong diapers or a butt-plug to keep from being called "Captain Brownstain..."
 
2013-07-11 06:15:52 AM

Mad_Radhu: Fun fact: spiders basically reproduce by the male putting sperm on one of his appendages, called a pedipalp, which he then shoves into the female spider. This means spiders basically reproduce by fisting.


So does the Cheney clan, or so I've heard.

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com
 
mhd
2013-07-11 06:50:52 AM

spcMike: Unless you're Bendis.


Or Quesada

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-11 06:52:12 AM
Sounds like he wants out of his contract, honestly.
 
2013-07-11 06:57:51 AM
if Sony makes a gay spiderman movie is there any possible way that this could create some loophole for Marvel to make a non gay spiderman movie.

This is the only way in which making spiderman gay should be acceptable.
 
2013-07-11 07:25:26 AM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Sounds like he wants out of his contract, honestly.


No he's apparently serious. I think it's just a case of a young actor wanting to push the bounds.
 
2013-07-11 07:34:39 AM

PizzaJedi81: It's from a movie called Wonder Boys


I was an extra in Wonder Boys

/CSB
 
2013-07-11 07:40:57 AM

Dwight_Yeast: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Sounds like he wants out of his contract, honestly.

No he's apparently serious. I think it's just a case of a young actor wanting to push the bounds.


or just trying to get his name in the news. His imdb only shows spidey 2 and 1 other movie since spidey 1 so either he is taking a break or his star isn't as bright as he thought it would be after spidey 1
 
2013-07-11 07:43:43 AM
If the Spiderman thing doesn't work out.

They could try a "down low" edition with Luke Cage.

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-11 07:56:31 AM

PizzaJedi81: haolegirl: AverageAmericanGuy: But I poop from there...

Was hoping for a picture of him from Tropic Thunder...but this works :D


[4.bp.blogspot.com image 320x149]

Will you settlle for him boinking Iron Man?


Yes, please.
 
2013-07-11 08:10:15 AM

rynthetyn: No. You don't throw out that many years of canon.


Really? I mean, do you read comics? Canon is only important until it gets in the way of the latest story arc, then it's out the window.

/Straight, gay, really who cares this much about these things?
 
2013-07-11 08:11:21 AM
Spider-man was straight?

/the more you know
 
2013-07-11 08:17:36 AM

Wayne 985: I made a comment about this on IGN earlier: it was something to the effect of, "If you get passionately angry about this, you need to grow up and get a life." Predictably, it was immediately down-voted 6+ times and given bizarre, semi-racist replies by the hugely successful and socially healthy residents there.


To be fair the "grow up and get a life" sentiment is cliche and has an implied sense of superiority, in a word it's douchetastic; however I'm not exactly shocked people who invest so much of themselves in fantasy worlds would lack an objective perspective.
 
2013-07-11 08:19:14 AM
Very fit body, wears extremely form fitting clothing, shoots white stuff all over the city, pretty much every female who gets to know him suffers

...I'd say he's already half way there
 
2013-07-11 08:27:25 AM

AverageAmericanGuy:

media.comicbookmovie.com

But I poop from there...


fancydresscostumes.co.uk

Not today you don't!

 
2013-07-11 08:28:53 AM

natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.


Just off the top of my head, here are the current versions of Spider-Man Marvel has going on, all of whom have mutually exclusive histories/characteristics:

1. 616 Spider-Man, i.e. Spider-Man in the main Marvel universe.  It's actually Doctor Octopus' mind in Parker's body, with Parker's soul completely removed and expunged.  It's expected to last at least a year.  The Parker, here, previously re-wrote reality by making a deal with Mephisto to erase his marriage to save his dying Aunt's life.

2. Ultimate Spider Man, a young black man who took up the title after the original Ultimate Spider Man died in a massive war.

3. Marvel Adventures Spider-Man, a 'lite' version of the character in a kid-friendly version of Marvel's universe.

4-6.  There are 3 different cartoons on TV with different continuities for each.

7. The Andrew Garfield Spider-Man.

8. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, who has a different history than Garfield's.

That's not even comprehensive.  The point is two-fold: (a) it's not like one version of the character somehow affects or infects the others, and (b) you care about him being gay, but not being black, so does that mean you're homophobic?  I mean, I'm glad you're not also  racist, but it seems more likely you're just being stupid in general about the nature of one character's multi-formed existence.
 
2013-07-11 08:40:40 AM
I fail to see the point or benefit of turning Spider man gay.  He is a well-established heterosexual and a large chunk of his forty-year history has centered on his love-life with either Mary Jane, Gwen Stacy or Felicia Hardy (aka Black Cat).  To suddenly make the character gay throws all that history into chaos.  Also people are born gay like they are born straight and (all jokes aside about the costume) Peter has never acted like he was or is a repressed homosexual.  So.....no.
 
2013-07-11 08:41:03 AM
knuckledraggin.com

Spiderman's (cough, cough Andrew Garfield cough, cough) bumper sticker?

Thanks, Wirecutter!
 
2013-07-11 08:41:40 AM

mattharvest: natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.

Just off the top of my head, here are the current versions of Spider-Man Marvel has going on, all of whom have mutually exclusive histories/characteristics:

1. 616 Spider-Man, i.e. Spider-Man in the main Marvel universe.  It's actually Doctor Octopus' mind in Parker's body, with Parker's soul completely removed and expunged.  It's expected to last at least a year.  The Parker, here, previously re-wrote reality by making a deal with Mephisto to erase his marriage to save his dying Aunt's life.

2. Ultimate Spider Man, a young black man who took up the title after the original Ultimate Spider Man died in a massive war.

3. Marvel Adventures Spider-Man, a 'lite' version of the character in a kid-friendly version of Marvel's universe.

4-6.  There are 3 different cartoons on TV with different continuities for each.

7. The Andrew Garfield Spider-Man.

8. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, who has a different history than Garfield's.

That's not even comprehensive.  The point is two-fold: (a) it's not like one version of the character somehow affects or infects the others, and (b) you care about him being gay, but not being black, so does that mean you're homophobic?  I mean, I'm glad you're not also  racist, but it seems more likely you're just being stupid in general about the nature of one character's multi-formed existence.


no just don't want to see the spiderman suit changed to pink
 
2013-07-11 08:45:03 AM

Spanky McStupid: [knuckledraggin.com image 500x373]

Spiderman's (cough, cough Andrew Garfield cough, cough) bumper sticker?

Thanks, Wirecutter!


Sandusky's vehicle?
 
2013-07-11 08:45:52 AM

Waldo Pepper: no just don't want to see the spiderman suit changed to pink


i01.i.aliimg.com\ Heeeeeyyy!!!!!
 
2013-07-11 09:07:09 AM

mattharvest: natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.

Just off the top of my head, here are the current versions of Spider-Man Marvel has going on, all of whom have mutually exclusive histories/characteristics:

1. 616 Spider-Man, i.e. Spider-Man in the main Marvel universe.  It's actually Doctor Octopus' mind in Parker's body, with Parker's soul completely removed and expunged.  It's expected to last at least a year.  The Parker, here, previously re-wrote reality by making a deal with Mephisto to erase his marriage to save his dying Aunt's life.

2. Ultimate Spider Man, a young black man who took up the title after the original Ultimate Spider Man died in a massive war.

3. Marvel Adventures Spider-Man, a 'lite' version of the character in a kid-friendly version of Marvel's universe.

4-6.  There are 3 different cartoons on TV with different continuities for each.

7. The Andrew Garfield Spider-Man.

8. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, who has a different history than Garfield's.

That's not even comprehensive.  The point is two-fold: (a) it's not like one version of the character somehow affects or infects the others, and (b) you care about him being gay, but not being black, so does that mean you're homophobic?  I mean, I'm glad you're not also  racist, but it seems more likely you're just being stupid in general about the nature of one character's multi-formed existence.


Most of those versions are at least similar enough to be clearly the same person.  But it is funny that you bring up version number 2.  For one thing, that isn't even Peter Parker.  Parker was Spider-man in that universe, but he was killed and this is a new Spider-man.  It's a change in the hero, but not a change to the character.  Peter Parker in the Ultimate universe is still similar enough to the other versions that the change Garfield is calling for is a profound, and incredibly unlikely, change to the character of Peter Parker.

/Besides, anyone who gets with Gwen Stacy, MJ, Black Cat, Ms. Marvel, Spiderwoman, Kitty Pryde, etc., etc. has made their sexuality quite clear.
 
2013-07-11 09:11:01 AM
Andrew Garfield keeps pestering to have the actor that played Wallace on "The Wire" play MJ.

More than 50 in and not one Omar reference? Seriously?
 
2013-07-11 09:11:52 AM

buntz: Waldo Pepper: no just don't want to see the spiderman suit changed to pink

[i01.i.aliimg.com image 827x1112]\ Heeeeeyyy!!!!!


and so it begins
 
2013-07-11 09:22:28 AM

Waldo Pepper: buntz: Waldo Pepper: no just don't want to see the spiderman suit changed to pink

[i01.i.aliimg.com image 827x1112]\ Heeeeeyyy!!!!!

and so it begins


Nah, he is going to paint the Iron Spider suit in rainbow colors and stick a dildo on one of those extra legs. He will also change his name to the farkinator and instead of arresting criminals he will rape them. Except the women, he will become their best friend.
 
2013-07-11 09:29:19 AM

Slaves2Darkness: Waldo Pepper: buntz: Waldo Pepper: no just don't want to see the spiderman suit changed to pink

[i01.i.aliimg.com image 827x1112]\ Heeeeeyyy!!!!!

and so it begins

Nah, he is going to paint the Iron Spider suit in rainbow colors and stick a dildo on one of those extra legs. He will also change his name to the farkinator and instead of arresting criminals he will rape them. Except the women, he will become their best friend.


And all of his witty retorts will be just a little too incisive and hurtful.
 
2013-07-11 09:32:25 AM
Andrew, we get it... you and  Michael B. Jordan are an item, but really, we don't need you putting your eternal love on the big screen, ruining Spider-Man.

Don't get me wrong - you are free to live life as an openly gay actor - lots of actors these days do it just fine. What they don't do is infuse their gay love affairs with the characters they play on screen. We won't see Magneto or Gandalf cruising gay bars, or John Travolta getting 2-way naked Swedish massages, and we don't need Spidey hanging upside down, giving some dude a french kiss, then dropping lower to, well... we simply don't need that. It won't help the franchise sell any additional tickets, and would more likely cause the franchise to plummet into disastrous depths.

...as Jon Stewart says:

wildhunt.org
 
2013-07-11 09:45:55 AM

Lady Indica: spicorama: Want to really get some anti-gay sentiment going with the general normally "do'nt give a fark population"? make spiderman gay...

/seriously make up a new superhero thats gay...actually i'm sure there are a few already...

You know how I know you don't read Spidey? Because there's no farking way the fan base could be more pissed off than they are now with current Spidey changes.

Dan Slott. Superior Spider-Man

/drops keyboard, wanders off to read more Marvel


I like Superior Spider-Man.

But then again I also liked Brand New Day and Straczynski's run.
 
2013-07-11 09:53:43 AM

YodaBlues: AverageAmericanGuy:[media.comicbookmovie.com image 300x356]But I poop from there...
[fancydresscostumes.co.uk image 425x319]Not today you don't!


ninjawiththeorangetshirt.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-11 10:36:39 AM
Spideyfistingpastepotpete.jpg
 
2013-07-11 10:40:51 AM

farm6.staticflickr.com

DAFOQ did I just read?!?
 
2013-07-11 11:00:32 AM
I always find these sort of things cynical. "What's popular right now? Gay? Let's make the character that was previously not gay gay. A gay, superhero that's really good at...hm, what's a popular kid's activity? Planking? WTF is planking? And he likes going to rainbow parties and butt-chugging! We're hip! Who are you calling, Foster? Hey, give me back my pen!"
 
2013-07-11 11:12:24 AM

Gestankfaust: Clooney? Gay Batman? Not even sure where this came to be. Must in some closet that you people can't stop creating BS ideas about. He was NOT gay in that movie


Nipples.  Nipples everywhere.  At some point in designing his Batcostume, he said, "This doesn't look right.  It needs nipples.  And some for the Boy Wonder, too.  The Boy Wonder needs nipples."
 
2013-07-11 11:16:08 AM

MayoSlather: Wayne 985: I made a comment about this on IGN earlier: it was something to the effect of, "If you get passionately angry about this, you need to grow up and get a life." Predictably, it was immediately down-voted 6+ times and given bizarre, semi-racist replies by the hugely successful and socially healthy residents there.

To be fair the "grow up and get a life" sentiment is cliche and has an implied sense of superiority, in a word it's douchetastic; however I'm not exactly shocked people who invest so much of themselves in fantasy worlds would lack an objective perspective.


It sounds cliche because it's used so often and it's used so often in this case because it's often accurate. Modern America is awash in man-children who care more about the make believe personal life of a comic book character than they do about real life concerns.

Loving or hating a comic book or comic book film is cool. Spending all your time screaming about it or them and behaving as though Spider-Man were a real person who was being violated makes that person a loser.
 
2013-07-11 11:20:55 AM
It wouldn't be the worst change to the character.
 
2013-07-11 11:24:38 AM

syrynxx: Gestankfaust: Clooney? Gay Batman? Not even sure where this came to be. Must in some closet that you people can't stop creating BS ideas about. He was NOT gay in that movie

Nipples.  Nipples everywhere.  At some point in designing his Batcostume, he said, "This doesn't look right.  It needs nipples.  And some for the Boy Wonder, too.  The Boy Wonder needs nipples."


And yet, Alicia Silverstone's costume?
NO NIPPLES.

What a gip.
 
2013-07-11 11:38:09 AM
Garfield is an idiot.  Spiderman has never been gay.  One version of the Green Lantern is, and between that and the movie most of you obsessives hated, the character is temporarily dead.

This whole push for gay equality is fine, but know when to let up on the gas.  Everyone hates those who push too far--whether it be that friend who sells insurance or the one tries to extol the virtues of a gluten-free diet in every conversation.
 
2013-07-11 11:45:52 AM

Wayne 985: MayoSlather: Wayne 985: I made a comment about this on IGN earlier: it was something to the effect of, "If you get passionately angry about this, you need to grow up and get a life." Predictably, it was immediately down-voted 6+ times and given bizarre, semi-racist replies by the hugely successful and socially healthy residents there.

To be fair the "grow up and get a life" sentiment is cliche and has an implied sense of superiority, in a word it's douchetastic; however I'm not exactly shocked people who invest so much of themselves in fantasy worlds would lack an objective perspective.

It sounds cliche because it's used so often and it's used so often in this case because it's often accurate. Modern America is awash in man-children who care more about the make believe personal life of a comic book character than they do about real life concerns.

Loving or hating a comic book or comic book film is cool. Spending all your time screaming about it or them and behaving as though Spider-Man were a real person who was being violated makes that person a loser.


There are plenty of "real life concerns" that are fundamentally insoluble so if you don't want to be a neurotic Dostoyevsky character you focus on easily fixable problems like making gay cartoon adolescent fantasies straight.
 
2013-07-11 12:00:07 PM

LesserEvil: Andrew, we get it... you and  Michael B. Jordan are an item, but really, we don't need you putting your eternal love on the big screen, ruining Spider-Man.

Don't get me wrong - you are free to live life as an openly gay actor - lots of actors these days do it just fine. What they don't do is infuse their gay love affairs with the characters they play on screen. We won't see Magneto or Gandalf cruising gay bars, or John Travolta getting 2-way naked Swedish massages, and we don't need Spidey hanging upside down, giving some dude a french kiss, then dropping lower to, well... we simply don't need that. It won't help the franchise sell any additional tickets, and would more likely cause the franchise to plummet into disastrous depths.

...as Jon Stewart says:

[wildhunt.org image 480x360]




Actually, you said it like he would.

Thanks Jon
 
2013-07-11 12:42:58 PM
spoderman y u do dis?
 
2013-07-11 01:15:52 PM

blacksharpiemarker: /Shut up Garfield. Please don't ruin Spidey any more then you already have.


You mean Sony hasn't already done that?

Seriously, if there was a way that Marvel can take back Spider-Man from Sony, I'm all for it~!
 
2013-07-11 01:19:13 PM

Dwight_Yeast: Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: Sounds like he wants out of his contract, honestly.

No he's apparently serious. I think it's just a case of a young actor wanting to push the bounds.


Then he can be Northstar if there's another X-Men sequel involving Alpha Flight.
 
2013-07-11 02:45:36 PM
Yeah, he needs to back off on this one. Spiderman simply isn't gay, and changing that would improve nothing. Is this the part where I mention that the blind-item celebrity gossip crowd has been whispering about Andrew Garfield for years?
 
2013-07-11 02:49:07 PM
A) I can't believe I missed making a joke about him nailing a Thanagarian Snare Beast in the third act
B) One established straight character who could be bisexual on screen would be Deadpool.

Stay with me, but all they'd have to do is have him (Ryan Reynolds) making out with a RJD lookalike representing Iron Man. Then have him break the fourth wall and explain that "sure, they are breaking canon" but think of all the ticket sales for horny women.

/you may update your fanfic accordingly
 
2013-07-11 02:57:35 PM

TheManofPA: B) One established straight character who could be bisexual on screen would be Deadpool.


Deadpool isn't straight anyway.
 
2013-07-11 04:23:25 PM
To those that are saying no don't do it... why? what exactly about Spiderman's abilities and character would change if MJ was a man? what you think he wouldn't be able to cast webs because his wrists would be too limp?
 
2013-07-11 05:00:03 PM
what exactly about Spiderman's abilities and character would change if MJ was a man?

His ability to get me to pony up $10+ for a movie ticket, for one.
 
2013-07-11 05:09:28 PM

mattharvest: natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.

Just off the top of my head, here are the current versions of Spider-Man Marvel has going on, all of whom have mutually exclusive histories/characteristics:

1. 616 Spider-Man, i.e. Spider-Man in the main Marvel universe.  It's actually Doctor Octopus' mind in Parker's body, with Parker's soul completely removed and expunged.  It's expected to last at least a year.  The Parker, here, previously re-wrote reality by making a deal with Mephisto to erase his marriage to save his dying Aunt's life.

2. Ultimate Spider Man, a young black man who took up the title after the original Ultimate Spider Man died in a massive war.

3. Marvel Adventures Spider-Man, a 'lite' version of the character in a kid-friendly version of Marvel's universe.

4-6.  There are 3 different cartoons on TV with different continuities for each.

7. The Andrew Garfield Spider-Man.

8. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, who has a different history than Garfield's.

That's not even comprehensive.  The point is two-fold: (a) it's not like one version of the character somehow affects or infects the others, and (b) you care about him being gay, but not being black, so does that mean you're homophobic?  I mean, I'm glad you're not also  racist, but it seems more likely you're just being stupid in general about the nature of one character's multi-formed existence.


I'm OK with Spider-Man being played by a black kid in the movies since Peter Parker is not defined by his ethnicity. I heard there were some musings about casting such an individual before the current actor was hired. However, I think his relationship with MJ inadvertently defines his sexuality. In other words, his straightness has been forced upon us. Another way of looking at things, would it be saying something if Marvel took a character who's been gay throughout his story and made him straight?
 
2013-07-11 06:35:11 PM

tartie_pants: To those that are saying no don't do it... why? what exactly about Spiderman's abilities and character would change if MJ was a man? what you think he wouldn't be able to cast webs because his wrists would be too limp?


• It's not true to the original superhero origin.
• It's a pointless change which does little to improve the character, storyline,or movies.
• Garfield seems to have put a lot of thought into why and with who he'd like to share a homosexual relationship with as Peter Parker (odd?).
• Personally, I think it's disgusting that society has decided to sexualize homosexuality. Somewhere along the way of establishing equality, we turned the idea of being pro-gay into a fad, something to be paraded around, worn as a fashion trend, and simplified into a movement that has very much lost its dignity along the way. I'm not gay, and I don't find the idea of a gay Spider-man amusing. What I find disgusting is that there's people out there that take an individuals freedom to love another of their choosing and turn into into a crude sexual mockery so that they may garnish attention and scandal. This wasn't a motive expressed out of equality and love for the homosexual community or Spider-man fans. It was a motive expressed for selfish purposes and intentions since it's the current "hip" bandwagon to be a part of.
 
2013-07-11 07:41:39 PM
www.primaryignition.com
 
2013-07-11 07:54:35 PM
Good riddance, Garfield.  No one will even notice you're gone.
 
2013-07-12 07:15:34 AM

Rude Turnip: mattharvest: natmar_76: Because he's not. That's why.

Go gay up some other character.

Just off the top of my head, here are the current versions of Spider-Man Marvel has going on, all of whom have mutually exclusive histories/characteristics:

1. 616 Spider-Man, i.e. Spider-Man in the main Marvel universe.  It's actually Doctor Octopus' mind in Parker's body, with Parker's soul completely removed and expunged.  It's expected to last at least a year.  The Parker, here, previously re-wrote reality by making a deal with Mephisto to erase his marriage to save his dying Aunt's life.

2. Ultimate Spider Man, a young black man who took up the title after the original Ultimate Spider Man died in a massive war.

3. Marvel Adventures Spider-Man, a 'lite' version of the character in a kid-friendly version of Marvel's universe.

4-6.  There are 3 different cartoons on TV with different continuities for each.

7. The Andrew Garfield Spider-Man.

8. The Tobey Maguire Spider-Man, who has a different history than Garfield's.

That's not even comprehensive.  The point is two-fold: (a) it's not like one version of the character somehow affects or infects the others, and (b) you care about him being gay, but not being black, so does that mean you're homophobic?  I mean, I'm glad you're not also  racist, but it seems more likely you're just being stupid in general about the nature of one character's multi-formed existence.

I'm OK with Spider-Man being played by a black kid in the movies since Peter Parker is not defined by his ethnicity. I heard there were some musings about casting such an individual before the current actor was hired. However, I think his relationship with MJ inadvertently defines his sexuality. In other words, his straightness has been forced upon us. Another way of looking at things, would it be saying something if Marvel took a character who's been gay throughout his story and made him straight?


I'm curious as how his straightness has been forced upon us?  Were you forced to read spiderman or see the movie?  Do you feel Spiderman was originally supposed to be gay and somehow the person who wrote spiderman forced him to be straight?

If anything changing the character to being gay would be forcing his gayness upon us as he has been straight for 50 years.
 
2013-07-12 09:22:17 AM
Will there be a same-sex webbing?

Andrew Garfield seems to have some thespic issues he needs to work out, NTTAWWT, but flipping MJ just to satisfy that, especially when he can't even work out the terms (first he says "why can't he be gay?" then he says "exploring" and "bisexual"). Yeah, I know there's people who think there's only gay or straight and flavors of deluded inbetween, but in addition to such types I've met people who were genuinely bisexual and there wasn't any hedging or self-deception about them. Rather the reverse; usually they seem to regard sex and love as two entirely different things, and just like they might go hiking or skydiving or to yoga at the gym with someone who was similarly fit and adventurous regardless of being male or female, they get the same way about having sex.

It's possible Peter Parker might discover that he doesn't have the same hangups (ha?) about his new Spider-Body and feel himself more connected with (or perhaps more alienated from) humanity and therefore be open to physically loving whomever he gets emotionally webbed up with, regardless of their gender, though clearly it hasn't been explicitly addressed in the comics. Having Harry Osborne and Peter Parker be very (very) close and Green Goblin and Spider-Man be bitter enemies would make for a potentially moving storyline, for example, or having Flash Thompson be sexually confused about his hero worship of Spidey and then discover the little guy he's been cramming into a locker is not only the same dude but that it was secretly consensual locker-stuffing could be ..well, a story, but at its core it would be one we've seen umpteen times already in, for example, Batman and Catwoman in all the movie versions they show up in. Sure, that's a hetero pairing, but while there's stories to be told from every viewpoint and having a same-sex version of it might offer some bit of surprise or insight beyond what has been put on screen for those two, the superhero-sex-or-fight-couple trope well's been pumped often and fairly dry as a plot element. It's why they can't really do a Black Cat storyline in the Spidey films, either. Besides which, it would probably become a dead albatross pretty quickly because it would turn into Spider-Man Goes Gay rather than a genuine exploration of a human condition.  Well, IMO, anyway.

Now, in the current 616 comic Spider-Man continuity, Peter Parker could live up to his name just because he's actually Otto Octavius, and Otto had been an old, dying man in a flabby, feeble body for long enough that being in a fit, powerful young body, one that is largely immune to diseases and heals from damage quicker and more completely than a normal human, he might want to experiment. More likely, he'd be the sort who would play gay if he thought it would be to his advantage somehow. Ultimate Spider-Woman probably already is gay, since she's a cross-sex clone of Peter Parker who has all of his memories and personality, though she was supposed to get reprogrammed to her Jessica Drew persona, and if she's not a lesbian then she really is a gay Peter Parker, just with a mind-edit done. Miles Morales (the current Ultimate Spider-Man), Miguel O'Hara (Spider-Man 2099), the clones Ben Reilly (if he comes back from the dead again) and Kaine (the current Scarlet Spider) or any of the alternate versions from other times (1601, the Noir version, that helmeted dip from the far future) or alternate histories (House of M, etc.) of the present could probably be gay for real, if there hadn't been a reason they couldn't be and the possibility goes back far enough in their personal histories, but making a heretofore demonstratedly straight character gay just for the sake of sales or shock value is stupid (see DC Comics). Plus, the movie Spidey needs to be acceptably like the comic book character in order to be a movie about that character and not a parody and they haven't gotten the moviegoing masses prepared to accept "What If...?" stories yet.

At least when Daniel Craig wanted James Bond to bend it like Brokeback it was actually because he wanted the character's Don Juanism to be shown to be little more than part of his spy toolkit, and that he'd use the same tactics on receptive guys if it was part of his mission.

But back to Spidey, though a little off-topic: If 616 Spidey is Otto and Peter's soul (assuming they're going with the soul transfer being a real thing and not just psyche-imprinting) has really been eradicated, then what of Mephisto's deal? Shouldn't Mephie get Peter's soul, since he agreed to let reality be altered in order to save Aunt May? Shouldn't Doctor Strange show up with an angry Spider-Ghost to evict Otto or MJ's special clause that she whispered to Mephisto be activated by Peter's soul being sent off into the Astral plane (twice)?
 
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