If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Slate)   When ice cream sales go up, so does the murder rate. That's 'cause I got some ice cream. And you ain't got none. Because you on welfare and can't afford it. And your father is an alcoholic. You want to eat some? Want a lick? PSYCH   (slate.com) divider line 146
    More: Interesting, murder rate, Times-Picayune  
•       •       •

4748 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Jul 2013 at 12:05 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



146 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-10 07:04:44 AM
It's just natures way of ensuring that we reach some sort of equilibrium before destoying the Earth with global warming. The more people there are, the more green house gasses and the hotter it gets. The hotter it gets the more people murder each other and reduce the population and green house gasses.
 
2013-07-10 07:05:01 AM
There is no AC in my car. I'm one traffic incident away.
 
2013-07-10 07:14:08 AM

RenownedCurator: fusillade762: Did you know that more murders are committed at 92 degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once. At lower temperatures, people are easy-going, over 92, it's too hot to move, but just 92, people get IRRITABLE!

Are you talking about the Ray Bradbury story? I can't remember the title, but it was good. It also cemented 92 degrees as the Temperature Of Doom for my young self, so even now when I see it pop up on a weather report, I feel a little uneasy.


It's a sample used at the beginning of an 80s song. But yes, from a Bradbury line.
 
2013-07-10 07:28:33 AM
I alwasy thought Chunky Monkey sounded racist, because well, the word monkey has become racist.
 
2013-07-10 07:42:12 AM

wildcardjack: The correlating factor is the weather.

Someone said "The only thing that reduces the murder rate is snowstorms."


Yep. Crime is very fair weather. Cold and icy? Forget it.
 
2013-07-10 07:47:53 AM
 
2013-07-10 07:48:49 AM
That dog shiat in my house one more time and you don't clean up after it, I throw your ass out. I don't care you're only seven. You'll be a seven year old, walking the dog, no house motherfarker.
 
2013-07-10 07:53:36 AM

PedanticSimpleton: Here the ghetto ass ice cream truck
It be nearby
It's comin
I hear that mofrkka
YEAH
COME ON
UNH
GET IT
bring that mofrkka


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQfzyz1LFGQ



This is the most wonderful thing ever. Thank you.
 
2013-07-10 07:56:07 AM

mbillips: Alonjar: Yes this is dog: Smeggy Smurf: Do they even sell watermelon, fried chicken or grape soda flavored ice cream?

[www.bakedbyrachel.com image 500x375]

I'm not sure about the other two.

Is that product horrible racist, or am I horribly racist for thinking that?

/racialism... how does it work!?

What is it with Yankees thinking watermelon = racist? Don't you farkers eat watermelon in the summer? And fried chicken?! Who doesn't love fried chicken? Fried chicken unites us; it doesn't divide us.


New Englander here, and we also enjoy watermelon in the summer, and fried chicken year round.

I'm pretty sure that most of us agree with you about the savage uniting force of delicious food. Most of that pearl clutching comes from Cambridge pussies(and their wannabes), near as I can tell
 
2013-07-10 08:00:02 AM
+1 for subby. I watched and rewatched that VHS so many damn times. We counted the f-bombs once, and I think it was 252?

"... and get ya fava a toased almond bar, and BRING BACK MY CHANGE!"
"And the ice cream man be sayin 'watch how fast I make these motherfarkers run'  VROOOOMMM"


My favorite was the drunk dad summer BBQ bit. "Aunt Bunny's falling down the steps again!!" "So take your motherfarking bigfoot wife, those bigfoot kids of yours, get back in your gooniegoogoomobile and get the fark out my house!"


White people bits were funny too. Walk in the new house and the ghost says <whispering> "GET OUT!!!!> "I would TIP the fark out the door."

So, what the fark was TFA about?
 
2013-07-10 08:01:16 AM
See, the media can start some unnecessary trouble because of the reaction-greedy audience:
i.qkme.me
 
2013-07-10 08:11:43 AM

tuna fingers: I got in an argument here on the main page, or perhaps tfd after someone wrote "sike!"Most people agreed with the sike guy. You have validated me subby!


Those people were all morons... It must've been TFD!
 
2013-07-10 08:43:05 AM
mafiatoday.com


Uh hu.. don't know nuttin about that.
 
2013-07-10 08:45:50 AM

jtown: Nabb1: That's old school right there.

That can't be old school.  Because that stuff was new and fresh when I was a kid and that was only...DAMNIT!


I was listening to a show touting the hits from 30 years ago.  Got pissed when I realized it was the 80's.
 
2013-07-10 08:51:24 AM
Ya'll didn't know I was a ventriloquist.
 
2013-07-10 08:56:17 AM
Iss my house, Gus. You don't like it, get the fark out.
 
2013-07-10 08:58:03 AM

mbillips: Alonjar: Yes this is dog: Smeggy Smurf: Do they even sell watermelon, fried chicken or grape soda flavored ice cream?

[www.bakedbyrachel.com image 500x375]

I'm not sure about the other two.

Is that product horrible racist, or am I horribly racist for thinking that?

/racialism... how does it work!?

What is it with Yankees thinking watermelon = racist? Don't you farkers eat watermelon in the summer? And fried chicken?! Who doesn't love fried chicken? Fried chicken unites us; it doesn't divide us.


Because Watermelon, fried chicken and BBQ pork were food for poor people.
Poor people in the north are predominately black, hence they eat a lot of watermelon, fried chicken and BBQ pork. Making fun of poor people for eating watermelon, fried chicken and BBQ pork became a symbol of making fun of black people, because they made up the largest percent of the poor.
 
2013-07-10 09:01:41 AM
It depends which one lags the other. If the murders happen first then they fuel the ice cream sales rise and if not then the ice cream sales fuel the murder rate.

This to me makes as much sense as the climate change debate. Obviously one does not fuel the other.
 
2013-07-10 09:25:35 AM
I love me some good Bill Cosby jokes!
 
2013-07-10 09:33:59 AM

fusillade762: Did you know that more murders are committed at 92 degrees Fahrenheit than any other temperature? I read an article once. At lower temperatures, people are easy-going, over 92, it's too hot to move, but just 92, people get IRRITABLE!


Came to say this...had to settle for shaking my tiny fist.
 
2013-07-10 09:38:14 AM

skinink: I guess the only thing I can add is that Eddie Murphy's current girlfriend is some hot Australian model, Paige Butcher. And when I Google pictures of her, it seems like she and Eddie like to go out for coffee a lot. Nice looking bush biatch he has there.

[assets.nydailynews.com image 635x489]
[blackthespian.com image 634x868]
[in2eastafrica.net image 634x707]
[thejasminebrand.com image 482x594]

/HALF!


Is that Eddie Murphy or Derrick Rose? WTF is up with all of the Adidas gear?
 
2013-07-10 10:01:53 AM

Smeggy Smurf: Do they even sell watermelon, fried chicken or grape soda flavored ice cream?


HAHAHA

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THOSE ARE ALL THINGS BLACK PEOPLE LIKE!!1!

HAHAHAHA
 

Alonjar: [watermelon ice cream.jpg]

Is that product horrible racist,

 

No

or am I horribly racist for thinking that?

Well, that's not the only reason you're a racist, but yeah.
 
2013-07-10 10:07:30 AM
Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."
 
2013-07-10 10:13:12 AM

Ctrl-Alt-Del: Smeggy Smurf: Do they even sell watermelon, fried chicken or grape soda flavored ice cream?

HAHAHA

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THOSE ARE ALL THINGS BLACK PEOPLE LIKE!!1!

HAHAHAHA


I'm black?  When the hell did that happen?
 
2013-07-10 10:27:04 AM

DrBrownCow: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."


www.supermanofsteel.com
 
2013-07-10 10:40:32 AM
I loved the boomerang shoe.

do do do do do do do do do do do...
chik-chik
vwoop vwoop vwoopvwoopvwooopwwoopwoopwoooop..... AHHHHH!
WHOOPWHOOPWHOOOP..
chik-chik...
"Let's go!"
 
2013-07-10 10:46:04 AM

RobSeace: DrBrownCow: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."

[www.supermanofsteel.com image 689x352]


Huh.   I'm old enough to remember the 80s and 90s, and I never, ever remember seeing it spelled "psych."   I suppose it IS short of "I psyched you out," but the spelling of slang words often don't follow the spelling of the literal meaning.   It was always "syke" or "sike."  After googling it, it does seem that "psych" is the consensus spelling.
 
2013-07-10 10:46:34 AM

waterrockets: +1 for subby. I watched and rewatched that VHS so many damn times. We counted the f-bombs once, and I think it was 252?

"... and get ya fava a toased almond bar, and BRING BACK MY CHANGE!"
"And the ice cream man be sayin 'watch how fast I make these motherfarkers run'  VROOOOMMM"


My favorite was the drunk dad summer BBQ bit. "Aunt Bunny's falling down the steps again!!" "So take your motherfarking bigfoot wife, those bigfoot kids of yours, get back in your gooniegoogoomobile and get the fark out my house!"


White people bits were funny too. Walk in the new house and the ghost says <whispering> "GET OUT!!!!> "I would TIP the fark out the door."

So, what the fark was TFA about?


My favorite bit was about the uncle working the grill at the bbq. To this day, I can't be near a fire without saying 'NOW THAT'S A FIRE!'.
 
2013-07-10 10:55:55 AM
-when do ice cream sales go up?
-summer.
-what else happens in summer?
-it gets farkin' hot
-hurricanes 'n shiat
-no school
-ergo kids & teachers loose
-some kids have no food

/take your pick
 
2013-07-10 10:55:59 AM
I recently watched either Raw or Delirious on YouTube and it was interesting how many (presumably younger) people in the comments section were shocked at just how vulgar and homophobic his comedy used to be.
 
2013-07-10 11:05:32 AM
galadarling.com
 
2013-07-10 11:16:20 AM

DrBrownCow: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."


Is that you, rotsky?
 
2013-07-10 11:16:24 AM
I've had enough. I takes it until I can takes no more!

CORRELATION IMPLIES CAUSATION!*

*But doesn't prove it. There, fixed the web for you.
 
2013-07-10 11:26:51 AM

DrBrownCow: Huh. I'm old enough to remember the 80s and 90s, and I never, ever remember seeing it spelled "psych." I suppose it IS short of "I psyched you out," but the spelling of slang words often don't follow the spelling of the literal meaning. It was always "syke" or "sike." After googling it, it does seem that "psych" is the consensus spelling.


It's one of those mostly spoken words/phrases, which leads to lots of people having no idea how to spell it, especially if they don't fully understand where it comes from... Kids just learn to say it as an expletive, and don't really associate it with "psychological", so if they ever have to write it, they just go for the phonetic spelling... But, that doesn't make them any more correct than all the people who misspell "could've" and "should've" as "could of" and "should of", since that's how they hear it and don't fully understand the meaning of the words they're using...
 
2013-07-10 11:44:10 AM
stevetherobot:

My favorite bit was about the uncle working the grill at the bbq. To this day, I can't be near a fire without saying 'NOW THAT'S A FIRE!'.

I say that as well whenever I light my charcoal grill.

"Eddie why you put your d!ck in the sink?"
 
2013-07-10 12:14:40 PM
Kill my landlord
Kill my landlord
 
2013-07-10 12:33:55 PM
now that's a FIRE!
 
2013-07-10 01:11:26 PM
It could be that something in ice cream makes people want to murder. Unlikely, but possible.

It could be something about the act of murder that makes people crave ice cream. Can't say that's impossible either.

It could be that both of these are true, which would mean we are on the very brink of an epic dairy/death-spiral!

And it could be just another dumb coincidence, like so many others.

But... my money's on the goddamn weather.
 
2013-07-10 01:49:06 PM

DrBrownCow: RobSeace: DrBrownCow: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."

[www.supermanofsteel.com image 689x352]

Huh.   I'm old enough to remember the 80s and 90s, and I never, ever remember seeing it spelled "psych."   I suppose it IS short of "I psyched you out," but the spelling of slang words often don't follow the spelling of the literal meaning.   It was always "syke" or "sike."  After googling it, it does seem that "psych" is the consensus spelling.


i.imgur.com

/subbs
 
2013-07-10 02:17:50 PM

Sofa King Smart: now that's a FIRE!


Roll Charlie around on the ground... He'll be alright.
 
2013-07-10 02:28:48 PM

brantgoose: I've had enough. I takes it until I can takes no more!

CORRELATION IMPLIES CAUSATION!*

*But doesn't prove it. There, fixed the web for you.


I once made this same claim also, until someone reminded me that "imply" also has a technical definition in philosophy/logic.  Now I use the word "suggests" instead.  But you're right, it is annoying when people hypercorrect and immediately dismiss any and all relation between the two.
 
2013-07-10 04:02:31 PM

OscarTamerz: I don't recall the ice cream bit but I'm constantly reminded how his uncle shaved a Big Foot and married it and how all his cousins could stick their faces in the water and come up with fish in their mouths.


[www.fireandreamitchell.com image 264x300]

OOGA BOOGA


Best comedy of all time.  I literally wore out a VHS tape all those years ago.
 
2013-07-10 04:44:14 PM
Hmm.
(DRTFA)
It's hot out.
People buy icecream when it's hot out.
People get off their asses and go outside when it's hot out.
It's not to cold to go out.
People note more people are out.
More people = more potential victims.
More potential victims = more victims.
Also, It rains more in the summer than in the winter.
 
2013-07-10 08:20:01 PM
Subby's wife is bigfoot...
 
2013-07-10 09:23:54 PM

DrBrownCow: Maybe I'm missing the joke, but it is "syke" and not "psych."



Notsureifserious
 
2013-07-10 11:52:46 PM

waterrockets: +1 for subby. I watched and rewatched that VHS so many damn times. We counted the f-bombs once, and I think it was 252?

"... and get ya fava a toased almond bar, and BRING BACK MY CHANGE!"
"And the ice cream man be sayin 'watch how fast I make these motherfarkers run'  VROOOOMMM"


My favorite was the drunk dad summer BBQ bit. "Aunt Bunny's falling down the steps again!!" "So take your motherfarking bigfoot wife, those bigfoot kids of yours, get back in your gooniegoogoomobile and get the fark out my house!"


White people bits were funny too. Walk in the new house and the ghost says <whispering> "GET OUT!!!!> "I would TIP the fark out the door."

So, what the fark was TFA about?


And if my wife don't like it, she can get the fark out too.

*whoosh*

Missed me biatch.
 
Displayed 46 of 146 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report