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(93.9 My FM Chicago)   Woman hires 'hitman' to kill husband because it's cheaper than a divorce lawyer   (939myfm.com ) divider line
    More: Weird  
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6518 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2013 at 3:46 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-07-09 02:35:23 PM  
4 votes:
If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.
2013-07-09 04:08:14 PM  
3 votes:

Shift_Left_Political: I just kept hoping my ex would step in front of a bus.


that won't do anything, now stepping in front of a MOVING bus would do the trick
2013-07-09 04:24:50 PM  
2 votes:

ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.


Wut?
So a women is a whore even if she is married just because she has had sex at least twice?

You must be from Texas.
2013-07-09 04:18:36 PM  
2 votes:

ChipNASA: You Mom probably didn't put a *hit* out on your dad.....she's a goddess compared to this waste of oxygen.


Please. She put out five hits on my dad. Unfortunately, she kept contracting with the family guinea pig. Mom was an odd duck.
2013-07-09 04:12:13 PM  
2 votes:
I like how she hoped that the execution wouldn't take place in the house as she had already lined up a roommate and thought the mess might freak her out.

Always thinking ahead, this one.
2013-07-09 04:01:19 PM  
2 votes:

Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?


He wouldn't listen to her;
He was always telling her how to solve her problems;
He didn't appreciate her intuition;
He didn't validate her feelings;
He wouldn't learn that a question is really a directive;
He wouldn't read her moods, even when they were right out there.

Selfish bastard.
2013-07-09 03:37:12 PM  
2 votes:

bdub77: Relatively Obscure: Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.

Maybe a dumbass, but they have two young children which might have factored into his request. That's gotta be rough, a single parent raising two young kids with mommy in jail for wanting to kill you.


Maybe he can just put life insurance policies on them and list her as beneficiary.
2013-07-09 06:27:17 PM  
1 vote:

farm machine: nekom: Divorce attorneys, worth every penny.

If the parties involved aren't truly mature then yes, by all means pay an attorney to provide that.


Maturity != you get to play lawyer.  If it's a no asset, no children case, sure DIY it all you want, but when custody of my daughter was in question, I wasn't taking any chances.

I have full custody.  There were no assets that weren't encumbered in debt.  I could go after her for child support, but I don't need it, and she doesn't have it, and I haven't heard from her in a very long time. If that isn't money well spent, I don't know what is.
2013-07-09 05:30:25 PM  
1 vote:

inglixthemad: ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.

You can sleep with a blonde. You can sleep with a brunette. Trust me, you'll never get any sleep with a redhead, and that's a good thing ;-)


"Safe sex" with a redhead means using a padded headboard.
2013-07-09 05:18:27 PM  
1 vote:

ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.


You can sleep with a blonde. You can sleep with a brunette. Trust me, you'll never get any sleep with a redhead, and that's a good thing ;-)
2013-07-09 04:53:14 PM  
1 vote:

RedT: ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.

Wut?
So a women is a whore even if she is married just because she has had sex at least twice?

You must be from Texas.


Only things in Texas are steers and queers, and I don't think the post indicated either.
2013-07-09 04:50:11 PM  
1 vote:
The part where she's already spending his life insurance money on the hit man is especially touching.
2013-07-09 04:39:06 PM  
1 vote:

Heathen: Shift_Left_Political: I just kept hoping my ex would step in front of a bus.

that won't do anything, now stepping in front of a MOVING bus would do the trick


So that's where I went wrong! Everyone cross their fingers it works now!
2013-07-09 04:32:33 PM  
1 vote:

Astorix: I guess she played too many video games. How many points did she think she was going to get for bumping off the hubby.


If she bumped off the husband more often, she probably wouldn't be in this situation.
2013-07-09 04:24:00 PM  
1 vote:

parasol: ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.

Hey, pal? My MOTHER was a red-headed mother at 21 - back in the late 60's when it was "get married, young man, or be drafted" -
I am also a red-headed mother in turn

nice to know someone with "NASA" at the end of their fark name is able to judge what is "nothing lost"

memedepot.com
2013-07-09 04:20:11 PM  
1 vote:

ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check


Sounds like my kind of gal! Cute, stupid, and puts out.

//I'd hitman it
2013-07-09 04:06:14 PM  
1 vote:
I just kept hoping my ex would step in front of a bus.
2013-07-09 04:01:59 PM  
1 vote:
You know what's cheaper than hiring a divorce attorney? Just being a crappy spouse.
2013-07-09 04:00:44 PM  
1 vote:
Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.
2013-07-09 03:58:03 PM  
1 vote:

Relatively Obscure: bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain

Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.  Apparently, the judge set the minimum at six years, and she can get up to life.


She promised him nonstop anals during the conjul visits... what she didn't say was she's be shoving a plunger up his butt...
2013-07-09 03:54:38 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not saying it's right, but I understand.
2013-07-09 03:54:17 PM  
1 vote:
Came here for the best there is, the best there was, and the best that every will be...


/tapping out to a sharpshooter.
2013-07-09 03:53:40 PM  
1 vote:

Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?


He drove her to do it. He wouldn't get her a new Ferrari this year.
2013-07-09 03:52:40 PM  
1 vote:
Hell, my divorce attorney charged me $1500.00 and made her wish she was dead.

/Dead is over so quickly....but suffering lasts a lifetime
2013-07-09 03:51:44 PM  
1 vote:

d23: The hitman is also more ethical.


That actually was her argument kind of.  Spare him the heartbreak of divorce.

Stay classy, Muskegon!
2013-07-09 03:22:05 PM  
1 vote:

bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain


Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.  Apparently, the judge set the minimum at six years, and she can get up to life.
2013-07-09 02:45:15 PM  
1 vote:

bdub77: Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain.



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