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(93.9 My FM Chicago)   Woman hires 'hitman' to kill husband because it's cheaper than a divorce lawyer   (939myfm.com) divider line 149
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6484 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2013 at 3:46 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-09 02:35:23 PM
If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.
 
2013-07-09 02:39:06 PM

quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.


Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain.
 
2013-07-09 02:45:15 PM

bdub77: Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain.



i293.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 02:49:53 PM
"You know, I didn't have to worry about the judgment of my family, I didn't have to worry about breaking his heart, all that stuff like this. It's, like, how I got a clean getaway."

You're doing it wrong, sweetie.
 
Pud [TotalFark]
2013-07-09 03:00:43 PM

bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain.


She'll probably get a public defender anyway, so I doubt she'll be paying for a defense attorney
 
2013-07-09 03:22:03 PM
Divorce attorneys, worth every penny.
 
2013-07-09 03:22:05 PM

bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain


Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.  Apparently, the judge set the minimum at six years, and she can get up to life.
 
2013-07-09 03:24:17 PM
Er the article to which this article linked, that is.
 
2013-07-09 03:32:55 PM

Relatively Obscure: Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.


Maybe a dumbass, but they have two young children which might have factored into his request. That's gotta be rough, a single parent raising two young kids with mommy in jail for wanting to kill you.
 
2013-07-09 03:37:12 PM

bdub77: Relatively Obscure: Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.

Maybe a dumbass, but they have two young children which might have factored into his request. That's gotta be rough, a single parent raising two young kids with mommy in jail for wanting to kill you.


Maybe he can just put life insurance policies on them and list her as beneficiary.
 
2013-07-09 03:48:02 PM
Can we somehow blame men for this?
 
d23 [TotalFark]
2013-07-09 03:48:17 PM
The hitman is also more ethical.
 
2013-07-09 03:50:49 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-09 03:51:43 PM
True hitmen are cheaper than lawyers, but she hasn't factored in the death tax. So that may drive the overall cost much higher.
 
2013-07-09 03:51:44 PM

d23: The hitman is also more ethical.


That actually was her argument kind of.  Spare him the heartbreak of divorce.

Stay classy, Muskegon!
 
2013-07-09 03:52:40 PM
Hell, my divorce attorney charged me $1500.00 and made her wish she was dead.

/Dead is over so quickly....but suffering lasts a lifetime
 
2013-07-09 03:53:16 PM
Wasn't that the plot on Longmire last night?
 
2013-07-09 03:53:37 PM
The crime stat, if carried out and caught, would have been recorded as a man killing a man. Which is often the case when intimate partner violence is committed against men...as in, a boyfriend, lover, or hired gun will commit the crime (proxy violence).
 
2013-07-09 03:53:40 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?


He drove her to do it. He wouldn't get her a new Ferrari this year.
 
2013-07-09 03:54:17 PM
Came here for the best there is, the best there was, and the best that every will be...


/tapping out to a sharpshooter.
 
2013-07-09 03:54:22 PM
She should have advertised on Craigslist
 
2013-07-09 03:54:36 PM

iheartscotch: Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?

He drove her to do it. He wouldn't get her a new Ferrari more red hair dye this year.



FTFY
 
2013-07-09 03:54:38 PM
I'm not saying it's right, but I understand.
 
2013-07-09 03:55:11 PM

Brick-House: True hitmen are cheaper than lawyers, but she hasn't factored in the death tax. So that may drive the overall cost much higher.


notsureifseriouspic.jpg
 
2013-07-09 03:56:55 PM

FarkinHostile: I'm not saying it's right, but I understand.


nice
 
2013-07-09 03:58:03 PM

Relatively Obscure: bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain

Linked article says that she pled guilty and that her husband was asking for her to get no jail time because he's a dumbass.  Apparently, the judge set the minimum at six years, and she can get up to life.


She promised him nonstop anals during the conjul visits... what she didn't say was she's be shoving a plunger up his butt...
 
2013-07-09 03:58:37 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?


Yeah. How many dirty socks must be have left on the floor to cause her this much trauma to force her to consider this extreme solution? I bet he was a premature ejaculator too.
 
2013-07-09 04:00:44 PM
Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.
 
2013-07-09 04:01:10 PM

LiberalEastCoastElitist: Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?

Yeah. How many dirty socks must be have left on the floor to cause her this much trauma to force her to consider this extreme solution? I bet he was a premature ejaculator too.


meh, he never complained
 
2013-07-09 04:01:19 PM

Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?


He wouldn't listen to her;
He was always telling her how to solve her problems;
He didn't appreciate her intuition;
He didn't validate her feelings;
He wouldn't learn that a question is really a directive;
He wouldn't read her moods, even when they were right out there.

Selfish bastard.
 
2013-07-09 04:01:59 PM
You know what's cheaper than hiring a divorce attorney? Just being a crappy spouse.
 
2013-07-09 04:02:05 PM
foolish woman is foolish

don't want to be married anymore? file and stop trying to take the barn, and the horse, all the manure and the stable hand as a consolation prize

if you don't care about a person anymore, why risk your freedom to twist the knife? idiot

as the song goes? "there must be 50 ways to leave your lover"
 
2013-07-09 04:02:41 PM

WippitGuud: Came here for the best there is, the best there was, and the best that every will be...


/tapping out to a sharpshooter.


I knew Whippit would be in here.

The Excellence of Execution. Does it get any better?
 
2013-07-09 04:05:01 PM

bdub77: Maybe a dumbass, but they have two young children which might have factored into his request. That's gotta be rough, a single parent raising two young kids with mommy in jail for wanting to kill you.


As opposed to the mommy who has expressed a desire to kill you  - and taken tangible steps to carrying through on it - being free?  Cause that can have no downsides ...
 
2013-07-09 04:06:14 PM
I just kept hoping my ex would step in front of a bus.
 
2013-07-09 04:06:34 PM
Well with logic like hers I'm sure she will do fine in prison.
 
2013-07-09 04:08:14 PM

Shift_Left_Political: I just kept hoping my ex would step in front of a bus.


that won't do anything, now stepping in front of a MOVING bus would do the trick
 
2013-07-09 04:08:35 PM
I guess she played too many video games. How many points did she think she was going to get for bumping off the hubby.
 
2013-07-09 04:12:13 PM
I like how she hoped that the execution wouldn't take place in the house as she had already lined up a roommate and thought the mess might freak her out.

Always thinking ahead, this one.
 
2013-07-09 04:13:55 PM

ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.


You know I love you, but that's a little odd. My mom had two kids by age 22 with my dad, and was married for 34 years to him before she died.
 
2013-07-09 04:14:27 PM
She was so callous she wanted the murder to take place out of her house so it wouldn't get blood on her carpet. Put her in jail for life.
 
2013-07-09 04:14:32 PM
you know, people talk about divorce attorneys costing a lot. but, the real issue is that divorce costs a lot.  you shouldn't spend more on the divorce attorney than you stand to lose in the divorce.  the expenses on the divorce attorney should save you money in the end.

/ unless children.  then you want things that go beyond money.
 
2013-07-09 04:14:41 PM
The hitman is ALWAYS a cop
 
2013-07-09 04:15:50 PM

bigpete53: ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check

/nothing lost.

You know I love you, but that's a little odd. My mom had two kids by age 22 with my dad, and was married for 34 years to him before she died.


You Mom probably didn't put a *hit* out on your dad.....she's a goddess compared to this waste of oxygen.

(you have to take it as a group, not as individual bullet points.)
 
2013-07-09 04:17:00 PM
Has there ever, in the entire history of humanity, been a "hitman" who wasn't actually an undercover cop? I don't think real hitmen even exist. They're a fantasy that the cops created to get stupid people to give themselves up before killing someone.

Also, farking THIS: 

nekom: Divorce attorneys, worth every penny.

 
2013-07-09 04:18:36 PM

ChipNASA: You Mom probably didn't put a *hit* out on your dad.....she's a goddess compared to this waste of oxygen.


Please. She put out five hits on my dad. Unfortunately, she kept contracting with the family guinea pig. Mom was an odd duck.
 
2013-07-09 04:18:51 PM
Ya know why divorce is so expensive?

Because it's worth it!

/ba-dum tsshhh
 
2013-07-09 04:18:53 PM

AngryJailhouseFistfark: Quantum Apostrophe: Can we somehow blame men for this?

He wouldn't listen to her;
He was always telling her how to solve her problems;
He didn't appreciate her intuition;
He didn't validate her feelings;
He wouldn't learn that a question is really a directive;
He wouldn't read her moods, even when they were right out there.

Selfish bastard.


The "contractor" ratted her out, men always stick together.

/obvious
 
2013-07-09 04:18:56 PM

bdub77: quatchi: If she thinks divorce lawyers are expensive wait till she finds out what defense lawyers charge.

Her 'confession' was caught on tape. She'll be lucky to get a plea bargain.


Is she one of those dummies that goes up against Columbo? God, I love the mysteries but at least 3/4 the time, the killer wouldn't have been convicted in a court of law if they didn't straight up confess or stage another murder to cover the original crime.
 
2013-07-09 04:20:11 PM

ChipNASA: Red head - Check
Whore - (2 kids and only 21) Check
Stupid as a bag of hammers- Check


Sounds like my kind of gal! Cute, stupid, and puts out.

//I'd hitman it
 
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