If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Uproxx)   The original iron throne George RR Martin envisioned even makes Joffrey seem kinda badass   (uproxx.com) divider line 100
    More: Cool, Westeros, badass, St Paul's Cathedral, George R. R. Martin, HBO, iron  
•       •       •

14575 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jul 2013 at 3:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-09 06:53:37 PM  

zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!


There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.
 
2013-07-09 07:03:42 PM  

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Maybe because he's a fantasy author...
 
2013-07-09 07:17:07 PM  

demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.


Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?
 
2013-07-09 07:25:33 PM  
And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?
 
2013-07-09 07:29:09 PM  
The line from "Ozymandias" doesn't fit unless it's a spoiler.

/dnrtfb
 
2013-07-09 07:32:21 PM  

brap: Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.


You're probably referring to the year knife (also called the Sheffield Millennium Knife or century knife.)  It was built in 1821 and was designed to have a blade added each year until 2000.

i13.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 07:51:31 PM  

NOLAhd: And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?


I desperately want to believe it's true. So I do!

/another year? 2? 5?
 
2013-07-09 08:00:31 PM  
So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.
 
2013-07-09 08:03:54 PM  

JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?


shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.
 
2013-07-09 08:05:03 PM  

js34603: NOLAhd: And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?

I desperately want to believe it's true. So I do!

/another year? 2? 5?


2015 is my bet. 2018 for the conclusion unless he gets writers block again than 2020.
 
2013-07-09 08:13:08 PM  

litespeed74: Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"


You're too late, because Batman had already killed Ned Stark.
 
2013-07-09 08:29:53 PM  
Brings a whole new meaning (and sense of desperation) to

farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-09 09:40:39 PM  

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


He can castle.
 
2013-07-09 10:05:34 PM  

demonfaerie: JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?

shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.


The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great
 
2013-07-09 10:07:15 PM  

Owangotang: So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.


That might have been a factor, but I have to imagine generations of Targaryen incest played a larger part.
 
2013-07-09 10:17:41 PM  

Mike Chewbacca: Brings a whole new meaning (and sense of desperation) to

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 300x430]


+1
 
2013-07-09 11:19:09 PM  
Approves:

www.seanparnell.com
 
2013-07-09 11:25:54 PM  

alwaysjaded: gittlebass: if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne

[i881.photobucket.com image 500x500]


That is awesome
 
2013-07-09 11:26:27 PM  
I don't recall it ever being described that way in the book -- I only remember Martin writing in multiple places that the swords and remain sharp, and people who sit on it frequently cut themselves on them.
 
2013-07-10 12:56:39 AM  

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Because he's actually Kreeger from Archer?
 
2013-07-10 01:02:52 AM  
"I wish to speak to The Hand."

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, 'I WISH TO SPEAK TO THE HAND.'"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, ' I WISH T- wait, I'll come down."

"WHAT?"
 
2013-07-10 01:03:53 AM  
Sorry George. That is stupid looking; like something scribbled on a Trapper Keeper by an 8th grader.
 
2013-07-10 01:15:00 AM  
While this is a bit lighter than I'd pictured the throne room, it is a bit more the way the books describe it.
img7.imageshack.us
You have to remember that in earlier times the skulls of dragons were also displayed in the throne room.
 
2013-07-10 02:11:50 AM  
I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue
 
2013-07-10 02:21:27 AM  
rack.2.mshcdn.com

Now obligatory for all SoIaF threads.
 
2013-07-10 02:23:43 AM  

lelio: That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue


Annnnd...that's...a...BAD thing...right?
 
2013-07-10 04:12:55 AM  

lelio: I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue


The throne was supposedly made out of 1000+ swords and it took over a month to make. I understand why the TV show didn't want to make one that large, but 1000 or so 4-6 ft longswords are going to take up a lot of space.
 
2013-07-10 05:24:06 AM  

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


"Hey! Gandalf!  Nice dress..."
 
2013-07-10 08:18:35 AM  

Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.


OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.
 
2013-07-10 08:24:56 AM  

zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!


This season has been really amazing.
 
2013-07-10 08:30:37 AM  

Snapper Carr: This phone throne am dildoes.


Top notch Adult Swim references goin on in here. Love it. And a new season can't come quick enough.
 
2013-07-10 09:06:51 AM  

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.
 
2013-07-10 09:16:53 AM  

Carth: dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.

I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.


Maegor the Cruel
 
2013-07-10 09:24:00 AM  

redmid17: Carth: dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.

I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.

Maegor the Cruel


Thank you I missed that one. Looks like he died on the throne but no one knows why. Considering his successor Jaehaerys I sat on the throne longer than anyone else it isn't surprising people didn't consider it back luck or try to melt down the throne their ancestor built after conquering the lands.
 
2013-07-10 09:28:17 AM  

psychicdeath99: brap: Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.

You're probably referring to the year knife (also called the Sheffield Millennium Knife or century knife.)  It was built in 1821 and was designed to have a blade added each year until 2000.

[i13.photobucket.com image 472x771]


BY GUM AND BY GORSH...THAT'S IT!
 
2013-07-10 09:42:21 AM  

hogans: It reminds me of the Tree of Thorns in Hyperion.  That wold make it a throne worthy of the Shrike.


Stupid Shrike.
 
2013-07-10 10:02:12 AM  

grinding_journalist: ...

The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great


We've had far too little Brock since the end of series three, I'll take whatever I can get.


DV ~ "I've seen you rip a man's eyes out of his sockets and make him a marionette with his optic nerves!"

BS ~  "Yeah, but at least I didn't break his heart."

DV ~ "You don't know that."
 
2013-07-10 10:23:47 AM  
I dunno, while I understood that the show throne in no way matched the descriptions in the book, I think the show throne is better.

Think about a seat made from the swords of those that would challenge the throne, or those that lost it.   If it's made of a handful of swords from just the dudes who were actually a challenge or those that were sitting on it when killed, it seems more awesome to take it.

If it looks like every farm hand who can manage to find enough gold to buy a sword and say "I'm gonna kill the King" gets his sword in there, while it LOOKS menacing, the message is not as strong.
 
2013-07-10 10:32:48 AM  

redmid17: lelio: I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue

The throne was supposedly made out of 1000+ swords and it took over a month to make. I understand why the TV show didn't want to make one that large, but 1000 or so 4-6 ft longswords are going to take up a lot of space.


It's one of those things that sounds OK on paper but when you actually have to create it for a TV show or a movie, it becomes obvious that it can't really be done.  They'd have to CGI it like The Wall or huge dire wolves or dragons - and as Daenerys often reminds us, that's expensive.
 
2013-07-10 10:47:45 AM  

grinding_journalist: demonfaerie: JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?

shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.

The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great


SPANIKOPITA!!!

i love how they get away with showing Hatreds 44DDs topless on TV hahahah
 
2013-07-10 11:16:17 AM  
There's no silhouette to the throne, no distinct shape. Nobody actually smelted swords together, they just glued the hilts into a clump like a toddler's toothpick sculpture in art class.

Looking at a king sitting on that inspires pity, not fear.
 
2013-07-10 11:40:46 AM  

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


According to legend, the first king to use it said that a king should never rest easy. The ease of killing the king with his own throne also represented a challenge to anyone who would dare try: he was so confident in his rule and his guards that he basically handed assassins a weapon that need not be concealed, could not be confiscated, and was so simple that any child could use it. All you had to do was reach him, and the rest was trivial. But good luck with that "reaching him" part.

After something like that, what's a king to do? Appear weaker than his predecessor, for whom the very act of sitting down was a big fat COME AT ME BRO to anyone who might get the idea of striking him down? No, once Aegon I set the precedent, the kings to follow him were pretty much stuck.
 
2013-07-10 11:48:03 AM  

Owangotang: So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.


Well, that plus inbreeding.
 
2013-07-10 12:17:02 PM  
Since we're hijackings this GoT thread, why don't we have more Venture Brothers threads? I wanna talk about stuff!

/my Hank's run dry
 
2013-07-10 12:19:45 PM  

Millennium: According to legend, the first king to use it said that a king should never rest easy. The ease of killing the king with his own throne also represented a challenge to anyone who would dare try


Those two thoughts make perfect sense by themselves, even if the first stinks of GRRM's recurring, heavy-handed "honorable to a fault so we can deconstruct it with moral relativism" theme.  But put together, the two concepts seem mutually exclusive.  Wouldn't having supreme confidence in your own security be the very definition of resting easy?  A throne can't both be a physical Sword of Damocles metaphor and a symbol of overwhelming might at the same time.  I suppose the "uncomfortable" part was supposed to be an internal lesson (you have to sit on it to feel it) whereas the latter is a bluff, but on a practical level, there's no reason why someone cant just install a nice set of cushions.

Millennium: After something like that, what's a king to do? Appear weaker than his predecessor, for whom the very act of sitting down was a big fat COME AT ME BRO to anyone who might get the idea of striking him down?


Oh yeah.  I find it hard to believe that, at the very least, a family that has no qualms about taking a bloody piss all over centuries-old sacrosanct customs like guest rights would give a rat's ass what their predecessors thought of the furniture.  Narcissists view the very act of defying precedent as gutsy, anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is that the Iron Throne in the show, despite having been designed due to budget constrains, makes a whole hell of a lot more sense.  I always imagined it as having been constructed from the weapons of usurpers, the result of which is a practical design that still gets the COME AT ME BRO point across.
 
2013-07-10 04:50:27 PM  

kbronsito: but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.


"ah, the Lysa Arryn of chairs."

My gf and I both snorked our drinks at that line.  Glorious.
 
2013-07-10 04:58:33 PM  

litespeed74: Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"


Going to assume that this is too large an image to post inline.
 
2013-07-10 07:02:09 PM  

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


He could at least put a nice cushy blanket over it before sitting.  One with a sword motif, of course.
 
2013-07-10 07:48:40 PM  

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


If every woman I know willing to participate in such a hobby wasn't bigger than I am then I would be all over that hobby. Your point?
 
2013-07-10 10:42:26 PM  

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


And therein lies the rub.  Joffrey may think he can do as he pleases, but Tywin was bringing him up short on that one.  And would you like to be the king who says, "you know, kings for hundreds of years sat on a death trap and managed to rule, but I'm thinking that I need something just a little safer.  After all, you really can't expect me to sit on that thing; I could get killed!"?
 
Displayed 50 of 100 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report