If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Uproxx)   The original iron throne George RR Martin envisioned even makes Joffrey seem kinda badass   (uproxx.com) divider line 100
    More: Cool, Westeros, badass, St Paul's Cathedral, George R. R. Martin, HBO, iron  
•       •       •

14573 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jul 2013 at 3:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-09 02:00:42 PM
Yeah, that's scary.
 
2013-07-09 02:08:11 PM
That's not going to help the royal hemorrhoids.
 
2013-07-09 02:10:28 PM
FTFA: "assymetric"

lolwutpear
 
2013-07-09 02:26:12 PM
but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.
 
2013-07-09 02:35:12 PM
Jesus, the king better not trip when climbing down off that thing.
 
2013-07-09 03:05:14 PM
How long till that's for sale on Think Geek?
 
2013-07-09 03:11:18 PM
Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.
 
2013-07-09 03:14:22 PM
I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth
 
2013-07-09 03:21:41 PM
Aside from being huge and unwieldy to construct at a set, whoever's sitting on the throne would have to be constantly bellowing at those down below, which would kind of detract from the drama of some throne room scenes.

Tywin having to trudge up a flight of stairs while poking himself before telling Joffrey he can arrange to have him carried to small council meetings would not be as badass, I fear.
 
2013-07-09 03:24:28 PM
That might be a little over-the-top.

Something in between the TV version and that would be cool.
 
2013-07-09 03:32:37 PM
Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.
 
2013-07-09 03:35:22 PM
See, *MY* Iron Throne is actually a dragon/dinosaur made out of thrones, made out of swords. It's absolutely massive.


/a dinosaur is it's own reward
 
2013-07-09 03:35:45 PM

kbronsito: but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.


When they said that I thought, "Well, duh.  That's obviously not big enough to be made from 1000 swords."  Maybe if it had a larger back piece that would be more believable.
 
2013-07-09 03:36:18 PM

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.
 
2013-07-09 03:37:38 PM

gnosis301: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.


What about a retarded incest monkey shiat king?
 
2013-07-09 03:37:46 PM
Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?
 
2013-07-09 03:42:05 PM
if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne
 
2013-07-09 03:42:56 PM

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


Great. Now you've spoiled how things turn out for Arya.
 
2013-07-09 03:43:28 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


I'm waiting for his depiction of Coldhands...

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2013-07-09 03:44:32 PM

Mateorocks: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

Great. Now you've spoiled how things turn out for Arya.


Well at least he didn't give away the scene where she pops out of Wyman Manderly like a birthday cake.
 
2013-07-09 03:47:18 PM
Admit it.  You were hoping that there was supposed to be at least one blade that went up Jeffy's azz.
 
2013-07-09 04:00:43 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Seen pics of that dude or read some of his short stories?  He looks like a clean cut Jerry Garcia.  Tell me Martin does not own a lava lamp or Yes and Iron Butterfly albums on 8 track.

Guy is a hippy, man.  Or was one at one time.
 
2013-07-09 04:04:20 PM
Reminds me of this:

wastedfashion.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-09 04:06:39 PM
<Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*
 
2013-07-09 04:06:51 PM

gnosis301: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.


If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.
 
2013-07-09 04:08:55 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth


Yeah, but do you really want your actors sitting in something like that for hours of shooting? They have to reach some kind of compromise. Also, the books say that the Throne only attacks those who deserve it, more or less, so I'm still able to buy into it...
 
2013-07-09 04:09:28 PM
I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.
 
2013-07-09 04:09:47 PM
If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.
 
2013-07-09 04:13:28 PM
It reminds me of the Tree of Thorns in Hyperion.  That wold make it a throne worthy of the Shrike.
 
2013-07-09 04:19:35 PM

zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*


<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.
 
2013-07-09 04:20:40 PM

Big Beef Burrito: I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.


TETANUS

drugtools.caremark.com
 
2013-07-09 04:24:47 PM
I think this is one of those designs that suit better as illustration than as real prop.

As drawing, it look amazing, but I doubt it would work in real life.
 
2013-07-09 04:25:08 PM

SecretAgentWoman: Big Beef Burrito: I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.

TETANUS



That's a different show...

www.alexwinterfansite.com
 
2013-07-09 04:33:07 PM

orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.


"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!
 
2013-07-09 04:33:32 PM
Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"
 
2013-07-09 04:34:27 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


I believe the word you were seeking is biatchin'
 
2013-07-09 04:36:30 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seawort

Yeah it did seem a little too dull after having read that description in the book.
 
2013-07-09 04:46:26 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Because it is awesome. Now I just want to find an old school van and commission a mural Tyrion, Bronn, and Poderick surrounded by buxom whores.
 
2013-07-09 04:57:47 PM
24.media.tumblr.com

This phone throne am dildoes.
 
2013-07-09 05:04:57 PM

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


Ya know, there are easier ways for you to find a Tuesday night date.
 
2013-07-09 05:06:23 PM

Big Beef Burrito: oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?

I'm waiting for his depiction of Coldhands...

[images.huffingtonpost.com image 500x333]


Not often do I spew soda on the laptop, but that did it. You funny guy, with cool name too.
 
2013-07-09 05:06:43 PM
Each version works for its respective medium.  I'm fine with both as they are.
 
2013-07-09 05:18:34 PM

Leo Bloom's Freakout: tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.

Ya know, there are easier ways for you to find a Tuesday night date.


Hey, I know a married couple who watches GoT as foreplay.  I think some prop swords and knives are involved as well.
 
2013-07-09 05:19:40 PM
catandsean.org

/Bert, that's why.
 
2013-07-09 05:21:06 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth


Never understood why a king couldn't get that thing fixed! Best metal workers in the kingdom right there in town and you can't get them to round a few edges off?! They can build a wall 30 stories high but cant make a comfy seat?! And dont give me they valued tradition! Towards the end the mad kings thought they were gods! Gods don't care about bad juju
 
2013-07-09 05:24:28 PM

tricycleracer: Hey, I know a married couple who watches GoT as foreplay. I think some prop swords and knives are involved as well.


I'm ok with this

img37.imageshack.us
img689.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-09 05:35:40 PM
Big ass screen, tiny picture.
 
2013-07-09 05:59:19 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Big ass screen, tiny picture.


Not sure why you need an ass-screen of any size, but hey, if the big one fits ya, go for it.

//Oh, and:
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-07-09 06:35:00 PM

gittlebass: if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne


i881.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 06:37:35 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

/All Hail King Joffrey!
 
2013-07-09 06:53:37 PM

zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!


There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.
 
2013-07-09 07:03:42 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Maybe because he's a fantasy author...
 
2013-07-09 07:17:07 PM

demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.


Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?
 
2013-07-09 07:25:33 PM
And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?
 
2013-07-09 07:29:09 PM
The line from "Ozymandias" doesn't fit unless it's a spoiler.

/dnrtfb
 
2013-07-09 07:32:21 PM

brap: Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.


You're probably referring to the year knife (also called the Sheffield Millennium Knife or century knife.)  It was built in 1821 and was designed to have a blade added each year until 2000.

i13.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 07:51:31 PM

NOLAhd: And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?


I desperately want to believe it's true. So I do!

/another year? 2? 5?
 
2013-07-09 08:00:31 PM
So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.
 
2013-07-09 08:03:54 PM

JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?


shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.
 
2013-07-09 08:05:03 PM

js34603: NOLAhd: And yet...it's still not right. It's not the Iron Throne I see when I'm working on The Winds of Winter.

Anyone believe this anymore?

I desperately want to believe it's true. So I do!

/another year? 2? 5?


2015 is my bet. 2018 for the conclusion unless he gets writers block again than 2020.
 
2013-07-09 08:13:08 PM

litespeed74: Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"


You're too late, because Batman had already killed Ned Stark.
 
2013-07-09 08:29:53 PM
Brings a whole new meaning (and sense of desperation) to

farm1.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-09 09:40:39 PM

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


He can castle.
 
2013-07-09 10:05:34 PM

demonfaerie: JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?

shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.


The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great
 
2013-07-09 10:07:15 PM

Owangotang: So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.


That might have been a factor, but I have to imagine generations of Targaryen incest played a larger part.
 
2013-07-09 10:17:41 PM

Mike Chewbacca: Brings a whole new meaning (and sense of desperation) to

[farm1.staticflickr.com image 300x430]


+1
 
2013-07-09 11:19:09 PM
Approves:

www.seanparnell.com
 
2013-07-09 11:25:54 PM

alwaysjaded: gittlebass: if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne

[i881.photobucket.com image 500x500]


That is awesome
 
2013-07-09 11:26:27 PM
I don't recall it ever being described that way in the book -- I only remember Martin writing in multiple places that the swords and remain sharp, and people who sit on it frequently cut themselves on them.
 
2013-07-10 12:56:39 AM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Because he's actually Kreeger from Archer?
 
2013-07-10 01:02:52 AM
"I wish to speak to The Hand."

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, 'I WISH TO SPEAK TO THE HAND.'"

"WHAT?"

"I SAID, ' I WISH T- wait, I'll come down."

"WHAT?"
 
2013-07-10 01:03:53 AM
Sorry George. That is stupid looking; like something scribbled on a Trapper Keeper by an 8th grader.
 
2013-07-10 01:15:00 AM
While this is a bit lighter than I'd pictured the throne room, it is a bit more the way the books describe it.
img7.imageshack.us
You have to remember that in earlier times the skulls of dragons were also displayed in the throne room.
 
2013-07-10 02:11:50 AM
I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue
 
2013-07-10 02:21:27 AM
rack.2.mshcdn.com

Now obligatory for all SoIaF threads.
 
2013-07-10 02:23:43 AM

lelio: That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue


Annnnd...that's...a...BAD thing...right?
 
2013-07-10 04:12:55 AM

lelio: I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue


The throne was supposedly made out of 1000+ swords and it took over a month to make. I understand why the TV show didn't want to make one that large, but 1000 or so 4-6 ft longswords are going to take up a lot of space.
 
2013-07-10 05:24:06 AM

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


"Hey! Gandalf!  Nice dress..."
 
2013-07-10 08:18:35 AM

Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.


OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.
 
2013-07-10 08:24:56 AM

zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!


This season has been really amazing.
 
2013-07-10 08:30:37 AM

Snapper Carr: This phone throne am dildoes.


Top notch Adult Swim references goin on in here. Love it. And a new season can't come quick enough.
 
2013-07-10 09:06:51 AM

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.
 
2013-07-10 09:16:53 AM

Carth: dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.

I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.


Maegor the Cruel
 
2013-07-10 09:24:00 AM

redmid17: Carth: dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.

I can't remember or find any reference to a king being killed on the Iron throne anywhere in the books or on westeros.org. The only king who might have gotten rid of it was Robert but after a rebellion I doubt he wanted to appear weaker than the Targaryens.

Maegor the Cruel


Thank you I missed that one. Looks like he died on the throne but no one knows why. Considering his successor Jaehaerys I sat on the throne longer than anyone else it isn't surprising people didn't consider it back luck or try to melt down the throne their ancestor built after conquering the lands.
 
2013-07-10 09:28:17 AM

psychicdeath99: brap: Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.

You're probably referring to the year knife (also called the Sheffield Millennium Knife or century knife.)  It was built in 1821 and was designed to have a blade added each year until 2000.

[i13.photobucket.com image 472x771]


BY GUM AND BY GORSH...THAT'S IT!
 
2013-07-10 09:42:21 AM

hogans: It reminds me of the Tree of Thorns in Hyperion.  That wold make it a throne worthy of the Shrike.


Stupid Shrike.
 
2013-07-10 10:02:12 AM

grinding_journalist: ...

The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great


We've had far too little Brock since the end of series three, I'll take whatever I can get.


DV ~ "I've seen you rip a man's eyes out of his sockets and make him a marionette with his optic nerves!"

BS ~  "Yeah, but at least I didn't break his heart."

DV ~ "You don't know that."
 
2013-07-10 10:23:47 AM
I dunno, while I understood that the show throne in no way matched the descriptions in the book, I think the show throne is better.

Think about a seat made from the swords of those that would challenge the throne, or those that lost it.   If it's made of a handful of swords from just the dudes who were actually a challenge or those that were sitting on it when killed, it seems more awesome to take it.

If it looks like every farm hand who can manage to find enough gold to buy a sword and say "I'm gonna kill the King" gets his sword in there, while it LOOKS menacing, the message is not as strong.
 
2013-07-10 10:32:48 AM

redmid17: lelio: I would also like to see a slightly bigger throne than the one on the TV show, but no where near the size of the one on the blog.  That looks to be the Westeros version of Tommy Lee's floating drumset in Motley Crue

The throne was supposedly made out of 1000+ swords and it took over a month to make. I understand why the TV show didn't want to make one that large, but 1000 or so 4-6 ft longswords are going to take up a lot of space.


It's one of those things that sounds OK on paper but when you actually have to create it for a TV show or a movie, it becomes obvious that it can't really be done.  They'd have to CGI it like The Wall or huge dire wolves or dragons - and as Daenerys often reminds us, that's expensive.
 
2013-07-10 10:47:45 AM

grinding_journalist: demonfaerie: JayCab: demonfaerie: zomega: orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.

"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!

There is a new season going on right now, in case you didn't know.

Given that what he quoted is  from the new season going on right now, I'm pretty sure he knows.

/You call that a death confession?

shiat, you're right, and I even watched that episode too. Fail.

The fact that a GoT thread has been jacked into a VB thread makes me happy.

Second, if this next week's episode with Brock going undercover as a super villain doesn't scream fanservice, I don't know what does.

And I don't care.

/flying sidekick, like from the karate kid
//even spanikopita was pretty great


SPANIKOPITA!!!

i love how they get away with showing Hatreds 44DDs topless on TV hahahah
 
2013-07-10 11:16:17 AM
There's no silhouette to the throne, no distinct shape. Nobody actually smelted swords together, they just glued the hilts into a clump like a toddler's toothpick sculpture in art class.

Looking at a king sitting on that inspires pity, not fear.
 
2013-07-10 11:40:46 AM

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


According to legend, the first king to use it said that a king should never rest easy. The ease of killing the king with his own throne also represented a challenge to anyone who would dare try: he was so confident in his rule and his guards that he basically handed assassins a weapon that need not be concealed, could not be confiscated, and was so simple that any child could use it. All you had to do was reach him, and the rest was trivial. But good luck with that "reaching him" part.

After something like that, what's a king to do? Appear weaker than his predecessor, for whom the very act of sitting down was a big fat COME AT ME BRO to anyone who might get the idea of striking him down? No, once Aegon I set the precedent, the kings to follow him were pretty much stuck.
 
2013-07-10 11:48:03 AM

Owangotang: So basically heavy metals poisoning from countless punctures by the throne led to "mad" kings.


Well, that plus inbreeding.
 
2013-07-10 12:17:02 PM
Since we're hijackings this GoT thread, why don't we have more Venture Brothers threads? I wanna talk about stuff!

/my Hank's run dry
 
2013-07-10 12:19:45 PM

Millennium: According to legend, the first king to use it said that a king should never rest easy. The ease of killing the king with his own throne also represented a challenge to anyone who would dare try


Those two thoughts make perfect sense by themselves, even if the first stinks of GRRM's recurring, heavy-handed "honorable to a fault so we can deconstruct it with moral relativism" theme.  But put together, the two concepts seem mutually exclusive.  Wouldn't having supreme confidence in your own security be the very definition of resting easy?  A throne can't both be a physical Sword of Damocles metaphor and a symbol of overwhelming might at the same time.  I suppose the "uncomfortable" part was supposed to be an internal lesson (you have to sit on it to feel it) whereas the latter is a bluff, but on a practical level, there's no reason why someone cant just install a nice set of cushions.

Millennium: After something like that, what's a king to do? Appear weaker than his predecessor, for whom the very act of sitting down was a big fat COME AT ME BRO to anyone who might get the idea of striking him down?


Oh yeah.  I find it hard to believe that, at the very least, a family that has no qualms about taking a bloody piss all over centuries-old sacrosanct customs like guest rights would give a rat's ass what their predecessors thought of the furniture.  Narcissists view the very act of defying precedent as gutsy, anyway.

I guess what I'm saying is that the Iron Throne in the show, despite having been designed due to budget constrains, makes a whole hell of a lot more sense.  I always imagined it as having been constructed from the weapons of usurpers, the result of which is a practical design that still gets the COME AT ME BRO point across.
 
2013-07-10 04:50:27 PM

kbronsito: but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.


"ah, the Lysa Arryn of chairs."

My gf and I both snorked our drinks at that line.  Glorious.
 
2013-07-10 04:58:33 PM

litespeed74: Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"


Going to assume that this is too large an image to post inline.
 
2013-07-10 07:02:09 PM

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


He could at least put a nice cushy blanket over it before sitting.  One with a sword motif, of course.
 
2013-07-10 07:48:40 PM

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


If every woman I know willing to participate in such a hobby wasn't bigger than I am then I would be all over that hobby. Your point?
 
2013-07-10 10:42:26 PM

dragonchild: Millennium: If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.

OK, aesthetics aside, if GRRM actually thus noted this very bad design flaw and had multiple Kings keep it around anyway then that's really dumb.

I suppose there's some message here about the petty vanity of foolish nobles who'd risk their very lives to sit on an ugly throne, but I don't buy it.  If we're trying to make realistic characters then even the most sociopathic fop would want to, you know, not die.  If the King can do as he pleases, he might as well replace it with something safer and more comfortable.  Bear in mind it'd only take one King (namely one whose predecessor suffered Death by Iron Throne) to decide sitting on that monstrosity was a Bad Idea and have the whole thing melted down.


And therein lies the rub.  Joffrey may think he can do as he pleases, but Tywin was bringing him up short on that one.  And would you like to be the king who says, "you know, kings for hundreds of years sat on a death trap and managed to rule, but I'm thinking that I need something just a little safer.  After all, you really can't expect me to sit on that thing; I could get killed!"?
 
Displayed 100 of 100 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report