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(Uproxx)   The original iron throne George RR Martin envisioned even makes Joffrey seem kinda badass   (uproxx.com) divider line 100
    More: Cool, Westeros, badass, St Paul's Cathedral, George R. R. Martin, HBO, iron  
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14574 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jul 2013 at 3:11 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-09 02:00:42 PM
Yeah, that's scary.
 
2013-07-09 02:08:11 PM
That's not going to help the royal hemorrhoids.
 
2013-07-09 02:10:28 PM
FTFA: "assymetric"

lolwutpear
 
2013-07-09 02:26:12 PM
but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.
 
2013-07-09 02:35:12 PM
Jesus, the king better not trip when climbing down off that thing.
 
2013-07-09 03:05:14 PM
How long till that's for sale on Think Geek?
 
2013-07-09 03:11:18 PM
Reminds me of the Guinness Book of World Records image of the knife with the most blades that was in a former edition just sharp things going every which way.  OF course the GIS isn't coming up with what I was thinking of just the uber Swiss Army knife.
 
2013-07-09 03:14:22 PM
I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth
 
2013-07-09 03:21:41 PM
Aside from being huge and unwieldy to construct at a set, whoever's sitting on the throne would have to be constantly bellowing at those down below, which would kind of detract from the drama of some throne room scenes.

Tywin having to trudge up a flight of stairs while poking himself before telling Joffrey he can arrange to have him carried to small council meetings would not be as badass, I fear.
 
2013-07-09 03:24:28 PM
That might be a little over-the-top.

Something in between the TV version and that would be cool.
 
2013-07-09 03:32:37 PM
Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.
 
2013-07-09 03:35:22 PM
See, *MY* Iron Throne is actually a dragon/dinosaur made out of thrones, made out of swords. It's absolutely massive.


/a dinosaur is it's own reward
 
2013-07-09 03:35:45 PM

kbronsito: but with an iron throne like that, then they probably wouldn't have had that awesome conversation with little finger and varys where they discuss how it really isn't made from 1,000 swords.


When they said that I thought, "Well, duh.  That's obviously not big enough to be made from 1000 swords."  Maybe if it had a larger back piece that would be more believable.
 
2013-07-09 03:36:18 PM

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.
 
2013-07-09 03:37:38 PM

gnosis301: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.


What about a retarded incest monkey shiat king?
 
2013-07-09 03:37:46 PM
Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?
 
2013-07-09 03:42:05 PM
if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne
 
2013-07-09 03:42:56 PM

PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.


Great. Now you've spoiled how things turn out for Arya.
 
2013-07-09 03:43:28 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


I'm waiting for his depiction of Coldhands...

images.huffingtonpost.com
 
2013-07-09 03:44:32 PM

Mateorocks: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

Great. Now you've spoiled how things turn out for Arya.


Well at least he didn't give away the scene where she pops out of Wyman Manderly like a birthday cake.
 
2013-07-09 03:47:18 PM
Admit it.  You were hoping that there was supposed to be at least one blade that went up Jeffy's azz.
 
2013-07-09 04:00:43 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Seen pics of that dude or read some of his short stories?  He looks like a clean cut Jerry Garcia.  Tell me Martin does not own a lava lamp or Yes and Iron Butterfly albums on 8 track.

Guy is a hippy, man.  Or was one at one time.
 
2013-07-09 04:04:20 PM
Reminds me of this:

wastedfashion.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-09 04:06:39 PM
<Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*
 
2013-07-09 04:06:51 PM

gnosis301: PsyLord: Though intimidating as it may seem, once you get past the two guards on the bottom, an assassin can easily kill the king since the king has no avenue of escape.

I wonder if an agile-enough king could just kick the assassin onto the throne and have it do the rest.


If I recall correctly, a number of assassins have gone the other way around, killing the king just by pushing him back into his throne.
 
2013-07-09 04:08:55 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth


Yeah, but do you really want your actors sitting in something like that for hours of shooting? They have to reach some kind of compromise. Also, the books say that the Throne only attacks those who deserve it, more or less, so I'm still able to buy into it...
 
2013-07-09 04:09:28 PM
I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.
 
2013-07-09 04:09:47 PM
If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.
 
2013-07-09 04:13:28 PM
It reminds me of the Tree of Thorns in Hyperion.  That wold make it a throne worthy of the Shrike.
 
2013-07-09 04:19:35 PM

zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*


<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.
 
2013-07-09 04:20:40 PM

Big Beef Burrito: I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.


TETANUS

drugtools.caremark.com
 
2013-07-09 04:24:47 PM
I think this is one of those designs that suit better as illustration than as real prop.

As drawing, it look amazing, but I doubt it would work in real life.
 
2013-07-09 04:25:08 PM

SecretAgentWoman: Big Beef Burrito: I don't know, man. It just seems like a bad idea to have such a spiky chair in a pre-Neosporin world.

TETANUS



That's a different show...

www.alexwinterfansite.com
 
2013-07-09 04:33:07 PM

orclover: zomega: <Monarch> "Khaleesi! Come to King's Landing and sit...on my Iron Throne!"
<Dr.Ms.Monarch> *shows up dressed as Rocky*
*hilarity ensues*

<Tom> YER A BUM, ROCK.

farking lost it at that scene.


"LEAVE US, MIDGET!"
god, I missed the Ventures so much!
 
2013-07-09 04:33:32 PM
Pretty damn cool.
As for Joffrey...damn him. Damn him!!!

Recently I was watching Batman Begins when his face popped up during a scene. I yelled out, "kill him Batman!!"
 
2013-07-09 04:34:27 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


I believe the word you were seeking is biatchin'
 
2013-07-09 04:36:30 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seawort

Yeah it did seem a little too dull after having read that description in the book.
 
2013-07-09 04:46:26 PM

oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?


Because it is awesome. Now I just want to find an old school van and commission a mural Tyrion, Bronn, and Poderick surrounded by buxom whores.
 
2013-07-09 04:57:47 PM
24.media.tumblr.com

This phone throne am dildoes.
 
2013-07-09 05:04:57 PM

tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.


Ya know, there are easier ways for you to find a Tuesday night date.
 
2013-07-09 05:06:23 PM

Big Beef Burrito: oldfarthenry: Why does everything George RR Martin "envisions" seem best suited for airbrushing on the side of a 70's era van?

I'm waiting for his depiction of Coldhands...

[images.huffingtonpost.com image 500x333]


Not often do I spew soda on the laptop, but that did it. You funny guy, with cool name too.
 
2013-07-09 05:06:43 PM
Each version works for its respective medium.  I'm fine with both as they are.
 
2013-07-09 05:18:34 PM

Leo Bloom's Freakout: tricycleracer: If you like this show, may I recommend erotic LARPing as a hobby.

Ya know, there are easier ways for you to find a Tuesday night date.


Hey, I know a married couple who watches GoT as foreplay.  I think some prop swords and knives are involved as well.
 
2013-07-09 05:19:40 PM
catandsean.org

/Bert, that's why.
 
2013-07-09 05:21:06 PM

Sybarite: I realize that a certain amount of adaptation was necessary for the TV series, but I have thought the Iron Throne on GoT looked a little too comfy.

"Have you ever seen the Iron Throne? The barbs along the back, the ribbons of twisted steel, the jagged ends of swords and knives all tangled up and melted? It is not a comfortable seat ser. Aerys cut himself so often men took to calling him King Scab, and Maegor the Cruel was murdered in that chair. By that chair, to hear some tell it. It is not a seat where a man can rest as ease. Ofttimes I wonder why my brothers wanted it so desperately".

-Stannis Baratheon to Davos Seaworth


Never understood why a king couldn't get that thing fixed! Best metal workers in the kingdom right there in town and you can't get them to round a few edges off?! They can build a wall 30 stories high but cant make a comfy seat?! And dont give me they valued tradition! Towards the end the mad kings thought they were gods! Gods don't care about bad juju
 
2013-07-09 05:24:28 PM

tricycleracer: Hey, I know a married couple who watches GoT as foreplay. I think some prop swords and knives are involved as well.


I'm ok with this

img37.imageshack.us
img689.imageshack.us
 
2013-07-09 05:35:40 PM
Big ass screen, tiny picture.
 
2013-07-09 05:59:19 PM

StoPPeRmobile: Big ass screen, tiny picture.


Not sure why you need an ass-screen of any size, but hey, if the big one fits ya, go for it.

//Oh, and:
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2013-07-09 06:35:00 PM

gittlebass: if you turn your head sideways and look at it you'll notice every black metal bands name ever secretly hidden in the throne


i881.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 06:37:35 PM
25.media.tumblr.com

/All Hail King Joffrey!
 
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