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(International Business Times)   Kate Middleton is rumored to be giving birth this week-- here are 5 things you don't really need to know about the royal baby   (ibtimes.com) divider line 66
    More: Amusing, Kate Middleton, british tabloid, kitchen staff, Princess Eugenie, Prince William, satellite TV  
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3648 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Jul 2013 at 2:25 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-09 12:56:42 PM
Anything.  I don't need to know anything about their child, including that it exists.  Do you?
 
2013-07-09 01:01:31 PM
Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."
 
2013-07-09 01:05:54 PM

Sybarite: "Piccadilly Cervix"


*SNORT*
 
2013-07-09 01:10:21 PM
I think subby misunderstands would the word "need" means. Either that or he confused 5 and 0.
 
2013-07-09 01:14:15 PM

Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."


I would've gone with Dame Judi Trench.
 
2013-07-09 01:26:24 PM
i42.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-09 01:51:59 PM
I hope it's black.
 
2013-07-09 02:28:00 PM

Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."


How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?
 
2013-07-09 02:30:18 PM
If it's a shellfish child will it be rejected by the royal family?
 
2013-07-09 02:43:15 PM

Paris1127: Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."

How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?


The M8 South?
 
2013-07-09 02:43:53 PM
The only thing I'm interested in knowing about that child is how it was made, preferably in HD quality.
 
2013-07-09 02:44:12 PM
It's not mine is all I need to know.
 
2013-07-09 02:44:20 PM
I'm sure Kate will go through labour with the poise & grace - similar to someone pinching off a cucumber sandwich fart.
 
2013-07-09 02:45:57 PM
Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.
 
2013-07-09 02:49:07 PM
6) If your wife/girlfriend is eagerly awaiting the Royal birth and is not British, you choose poorly.
 
2013-07-09 02:56:24 PM

Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.


That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.
 
2013-07-09 02:57:32 PM

Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."


"The Kingmaker" was my favorite

Judging by the reactions of the other members of the cast, it would not surprise me if Martin Short hadn't shared these with the rest of the cast prior to the sketch going on the air.
 
2013-07-09 03:04:13 PM
I hope he's a poof.

/I'm gay, so it is okay for me to say that.
 
2013-07-09 03:08:28 PM

WTF Indeed: 6) If your wife/girlfriend is eagerly awaiting the Royal birth and is not British, you choose poorly.


FTFY.
 
2013-07-09 03:09:59 PM

limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.


Even if it was a boy there is still a chance that there would be a "Queen" of England
 
2013-07-09 03:15:23 PM

limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.


There's always the chance they have more than just the one kid...
 
2013-07-09 03:16:28 PM

Uncle Pooky: limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.

There's always the chance they have more than just the one kid...


And that's what I get for not reading the middle part. F me.
 
2013-07-09 03:17:55 PM

Uncle Pooky: limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.

There's always the chance they have more than just the one kid...


Then we can have a 21st century reality show version of the Dumas novel.
 
2013-07-09 03:23:59 PM
Meh.  The Royal Family is just a big tourist attraction.  An inbred, neo-Nazi attraction, but beyond that, no different than Dollywood or the World's Largest Ball of Twine.
 
2013-07-09 03:27:55 PM
6) what the afterbirth tastes like?
 
2013-07-09 03:31:33 PM

Uncle Pooky: There's always the chance they have more than just the one kid..


An "heir" and a "spare" is standard royal protocol.
 
2013-07-09 03:34:18 PM

russlar: Paris1127: Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."

How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?

The M8 South?


Pont de l'Alma Tunnel?
 
2013-07-09 03:35:59 PM

limeyfellow: she let loose ages ago it was a girl


I thought that was debunked?
 
2013-07-09 03:41:24 PM
Big ears?

The Windsors' Hapsburg lip.
 
2013-07-09 03:53:20 PM
William was the original Lord of the Crumpets.
 
2013-07-09 04:02:33 PM

limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.


Wait, hold-up, one second here...  Are you telling me that my $50 bet at 6:1 on the name "Alexander" was foolish?!?

/farking bookies!!
 
2013-07-09 04:05:48 PM
So are they just going to yank it out of her so she WILL deliver this week?
 
2013-07-09 04:07:54 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: limeyfellow: she let loose ages ago it was a girl

I thought that was debunked?


It must have been. After spending the 4th with my parents, and being subjected to all the entertainment "news" programs my mom watches, the "media" sure acts like it doesn't know.
 
2013-07-09 04:10:03 PM
6) That vajeen's gonna be yanked wider than a manure spreader jack-knifed on the Santa Ana.
 
2013-07-09 04:35:25 PM

WTF Indeed: 6) If your wife/girlfriend is eagerly awaiting the Royal birth and is not British, you choose poorly.


This man is not wrong.
 
2013-07-09 04:52:42 PM
Honestly, with lifespans being what they are these days, does this child have any hope of ascending the throne within, like, the next 65 years, barring some disaster afflicting the predecessors, health-related or otherwise?

This will mark the third generation of heirs waiting in line after the Queen.  I advise the child not to hold its breath.
 
2013-07-09 04:56:40 PM

limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.


I knew they had discussed changing it, but has a bill actually been proposed and passed by Parliament?
 
2013-07-09 04:58:21 PM

russlar: Paris1127: Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."

How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?

The M8 South?


So you're wagering on macadam over gorse?
 
2013-07-09 05:00:53 PM

PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: Honestly, with lifespans being what they are these days, does this child have any hope of ascending the throne within, like, the next 65 years, barring some disaster afflicting the predecessors, health-related or otherwise?

This will mark the third generation of heirs waiting in line after the Queen.  I advise the child not to hold its breath.


Louis XIV was great-grandfather to Louis XV, so I don't think "these days" has much of anything to do with it.  Also Charles will probably be king for less than 10 years; the women live long-ass times, but men aren't necessarily so long-lived.  William will be 30 years older than his kid.  Say he gets to be 75.  The kid would ascend at 45.  Not young, but not decrepit either.
 
2013-07-09 05:05:02 PM

phalamir: PleaseHamletDon'tHurtEm: Honestly, with lifespans being what they are these days, does this child have any hope of ascending the throne within, like, the next 65 years, barring some disaster afflicting the predecessors, health-related or otherwise?

This will mark the third generation of heirs waiting in line after the Queen.  I advise the child not to hold its breath.

Louis XIV was great-grandfather to Louis XV, so I don't think "these days" has much of anything to do with it.  Also Charles will probably be king for less than 10 years; the women live long-ass times, but men aren't necessarily so long-lived.  William will be 30 years older than his kid.  Say he gets to be 75.  The kid would ascend at 45.  Not young, but not decrepit either.


Maybe so.  I just keep looking at how long the current reigning monarch has lived, and extrapolating that all of them are going to be equally as long-lived.

Now where's that XKCD strip...
 
2013-07-09 05:23:28 PM
I would make out with her face
 
2013-07-09 05:24:13 PM
if it's a boy, will William be trading her in for an older, horse-faced she-man?

/like father, like son
 
2013-07-09 05:24:22 PM
I'd MUCH rather hear about the royal baby than Kimye's lil' "princess" that her PR says I MUST care about. Or any other H'wood weirdly-named toddlebrain.
 
2013-07-09 08:15:04 PM

Paris1127: russlar: Paris1127: Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."

How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?

The M8 South?

Pont de l'Alma Tunnel?


The Monarch Mobile?
 
2013-07-09 08:32:19 PM
I bet the royal afterbirth tastes like chicken....
 
2013-07-09 08:34:52 PM

Paris1127: Sybarite: Acceptable terms for the *ahem* from which the royal baby will be emerging; "The Governess," "The Kingmaker," "Her Downton Abbey," "The Chunnel," "Dame Judi Dench," "Piccadilly Cervix" and "Thomas' English Muffin."

How about the Tube? The Bakerloo Line? Cockfosters Road?


piccadilly circus
 
2013-07-09 10:21:41 PM
"you gotta see the baby !"
 
2013-07-09 10:28:16 PM

Somacandra: 6) That vajeen's gonna be yanked wider than a manure spreader jack-knifed on the Santa Ana.


Favorite
 
2013-07-09 10:42:39 PM

limeyfellow: Uncle Pooky: Seems like most women of my generation already act as though their impending kid will be royalty. Imagine knowing that if you're carrying a son, he actually will be the King of England someday.

That would be a surprised since she let loose ages ago it was a girl and that the constitution was changed a couple of years ago that the eldest born child, regardless of gender will be the monarch. So it is more likely we have a future Queen of England.


Of course, the kid could always throw it all away by becoming a Catholic.

I think they should just go straight to female-preference primogeniture. Let's face it, with Elizabeth II and Victoria having such long reigns and with some of their other most famous monarchs being queens, everyone has gotten used to thinking of the British monarch as a queen anyway.
 
2013-07-09 11:01:45 PM
How is it formed?
 
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