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(Slate)   Part 157 in Slate's ongoing series How to Ruin Childhood for Children: "Down with lemonade stands. They don't teach children about realistically earning money"   (slate.com) divider line 89
    More: Stupid, lemonade stand  
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3253 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2013 at 9:37 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-09 08:41:58 AM
You know what does teach kids about earning money? Coal mines.
 
2013-07-09 08:47:55 AM
If we really wanted to teach them how American capitalism works, someone should set up a franchise lemonade stand with the central office pumping money into it without consideration of it's profitability, while using incredibly cheap foreign lemons to make the lemonade and sell it at a severely reduced price in order to drive the kid's lemonade stand out of business, and secure the market, then offer the kid a job at the franchise stand at a severely reduced level of income than what they were making before.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-07-09 08:53:38 AM
Everything I read in that article has elements of Capitalism.   The author blames good location as a factor in the children's success.  In business location is everything.  Is your bagel boutique going to be more successful 15 miles back in a forest or on Main Street?   Also, the author blamed people trying to recapture their youth by buying lemonade from kids.  Again, the psychology of Capitalism is very important!  It's what drives all commercials.  Then he was dismayed when people gave his children money or didn't accept change.   Well, businesses get many incentives from the federal, state and local governments.  The can get grants, tax breaks or total tax pardons, etc. etc.

I think the author knows far less about Capitalism than his children do.  At least they were putting money in their pockets before he took it from them and donated it to charity.
 
2013-07-09 08:57:35 AM

NFA: Everything I read in that article has elements of Capitalism.   The author blames good location as a factor in the children's success.  In business location is everything.  Is your bagel boutique going to be more successful 15 miles back in a forest or on Main Street?   Also, the author blamed people trying to recapture their youth by buying lemonade from kids.  Again, the psychology of Capitalism is very important!  It's what drives all commercials.  Then he was dismayed when people gave his children money or didn't accept change.   Well, businesses get many incentives from the federal, state and local governments.  The can get grants, tax breaks or total tax pardons, etc. etc.

I think the author knows far less about Capitalism than his children do.  At least they were putting money in their pockets before he took it from them and donated it to charity.


The author was just teaching his kids about taxes.
 
2013-07-09 09:13:37 AM

rumpelstiltskin: You know what does teach kids about earning money? Coal mines.


Thread over. Roll up the rug and turn off the lights.
 
2013-07-09 09:37:32 AM
pecuniarities.com

/oblig
 
2013-07-09 09:40:10 AM
The big kid who intimidates them out of their lunch money and never seems to get caught or punished is lesson enough.
 
2013-07-09 09:42:04 AM
Go Calvin!
 
2013-07-09 09:45:59 AM
CSB:

The first nickel I ever made was selling lemons from the lemon tree in the back yard for 5c each from a table I set up outside our front garden. I was 7.

One day some old ass came up threatening to report me to the police for selling lemons without a street vendors licence, I ignored him and given the cops never turned up I guess they ignored him too.
 
2013-07-09 09:51:02 AM
The author is an asshole, kids don't need to be beaten up by the world that early they will have plenty of time for that lesson.
 
2013-07-09 09:51:27 AM
Lemonade stands are just cliched.  That's the problem with them.  Be different.

You should have your kids selling artisan peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They should be made with fair trade one hundred percent Peruvian peanut butter, and strawberry and fig fruit preserve made by a convent of Lesbian nuns on a farm just outside of Portland. These two ingredients should then be delicately placed inside of a locally baked nine grain Afghani bolani flatbread.  As for drinks, raw milk sourced from a local farm, or imported dragon fruit juice.

This isn't complicated, people.
 
2013-07-09 09:53:26 AM

topcon: Lemonade stands are just cliched.  That's the problem with them.  Be different.

You should have your kids selling artisan peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They should be made with fair trade one hundred percent Peruvian peanut butter, and strawberry and fig fruit preserve made by a convent of Lesbian nuns on a farm just outside of Portland. These two ingredients should then be delicately placed inside of a locally baked nine grain Afghani bolani flatbread.  As for drinks, raw milk sourced from a local farm, or imported dragon fruit juice.

This isn't complicated, people.


Peanut butter?!  Hasn't been allowed near schools for 10 years now.  Organic soy butter possibly.
 
2013-07-09 09:57:38 AM
Slate's publisher:

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-09 09:57:42 AM
based on the author's reasoning we shouldn't let our kids play" house" either without actually making them get married and move into together permanetly.
 
2013-07-09 10:01:19 AM
Do they pay by the word at Slate?
 
2013-07-09 10:03:30 AM
I never learn anything useful from Slate - maybe they should stop publishing it.
 
2013-07-09 10:05:02 AM
It will, apparently, teach your kid about police harassment when they shut it down for permitting and health code violations.

www.wearethedog.com

And it's a good opportunity to teach your kid how to get back at the nosy neighbor who reported them.

theparksimagegroup.com
 
2013-07-09 10:05:33 AM
I teach them plenty when I drive right past their stand ignoring them completely.
 
2013-07-09 10:07:47 AM
My wife and I work together, and on our walk back from work, there's a pair of neighborhood kids who are always outside and playing. The other day, they were selling dixie cups stuffed with flowers they picked, for a quarter. And when they ran low on flowers, they started filling cups with herbs and "jewels" (glass aquarium beads). I'm pretty sure they were taking a loss on materials and labor, and hence they weren't learning anything about basic economics or business management.

But they  were learning how to approach strangers, to interact with people not related to them. Their parents lurked on a porch down the street, aware of what was going on, but not involved, and well outside of their children's sphere of awareness, which allowed the children to learn how to operate independently.

That, by the way, is parenting done right.
 
2013-07-09 10:10:23 AM
How about a coffee break stand?

You pay $5 and for 2 hours you get to sit on your fat ass in front of a computer reading Fark.com, smoking endless cigarettes, eating Taco Bell, and taking a desk nap for 45 minutes.

I think that is a more realistic model of how to earn money on a job. I'd like to elaborate but my Taco Bell is here...
 
2013-07-09 10:15:17 AM

t3knomanser: But they were learning how to approach strangers, to interact with people not related to them. Their parents lurked on a porch down the street, aware of what was going on, but not involved, and well outside of their children's sphere of awareness, which allowed the children to learn how to operate independently.

That, by the way, is parenting done right.


I thought that was illegal anymore.
 
2013-07-09 10:19:51 AM
I am so glad I am not this author's kids. IDK about you but my parents encouraged us to do anything that gave them a break from us.

BTW where are these kids friends?
 
2013-07-09 10:20:32 AM

Dirtybird971: BTW where are these kids friends?


At home, waiting for their next scheduled playdate.
 
2013-07-09 10:22:23 AM

Dancin_In_Anson: t3knomanser: But they were learning how to approach strangers, to interact with people not related to them. Their parents lurked on a porch down the street, aware of what was going on, but not involved, and well outside of their children's sphere of awareness, which allowed the children to learn how to operate independently.

That, by the way, is parenting done right.

I thought that was illegal anymore.


You think a lot of things are true that aren't.
 
2013-07-09 10:23:29 AM

Headso: The author is an asshole, kids don't need to be beaten up by the world that early they will have plenty of time for that lesson.


Couldn't have said it better myself. Hell, the kids were having fun, and the adults that were participating enjoyed giving. People biatch about kids these days not being outside enough as it is, and these kids WANT to be outside and (from what it sounded like) ENJOYED selling it. It's about FUN. What crawled up the author's butt anyway?

Besides, if they want to learn how money TRULY works, let them take a Free enterprise class in high school or get a job as a teen. For now, let them enjoying being KIDS!
 
2013-07-09 10:25:33 AM

mafiageek1980: For now, let them enjoying being KIDS!


Screw that. Making the decision to do something  because you want to, and not because it makes "dollars and sense" is the heart of being an adult. As Penn Jillette once said, "Being an adult means that you can eat candy for breakfast."
 
2013-07-09 10:25:57 AM

Dancin_In_Anson: t3knomanser: But they were learning how to approach strangers, to interact with people not related to them. Their parents lurked on a porch down the street, aware of what was going on, but not involved, and well outside of their children's sphere of awareness, which allowed the children to learn how to operate independently.

That, by the way, is parenting done right.

I thought that was illegal anymore.


Thanks, Lemobamanade.
 
2013-07-09 10:32:59 AM

Target Builder: CSB:

The first nickel I ever made was selling lemons from the lemon tree in the back yard for 5c each from a table I set up outside our front garden. I was 7.

One day some old ass came up threatening to report me to the police for selling lemons without a street vendors licence, I ignored him and given the cops never turned up I guess they ignored him too.


I did much the same with fresh mangoes and oranges from our backyard trees. My best friend came over with a bunch of fruit from his backyard too and we had a really nice time. Sure, we didn't make much money off of it (and I think we gave it to our parents anyways), but it was fun, it got us talking to people, and it was a good way for a kid to spend an afternoon.  My little siblings did much the same (though we'd moved, so they did the traditional pitcher of lemonade thing) - it makes adults feel nostalgic, the kids enjoy it, so what the frak is the problem with it?  They're kids!
 
2013-07-09 10:35:40 AM

lewismarktwo: I teach them plenty when I drive right past their stand ignoring them completely.


I teach them the value of "insurance" (slaps fist into palm).

/what I learned was if you build it...  they may not come anyway.
 
2013-07-09 10:43:49 AM
Parental abuse can be looked at as a rite of passage, just like a lemonade stand.
 
2013-07-09 10:45:27 AM

topcon: Lemonade stands are just cliched.  That's the problem with them.  Be different.

You should have your kids selling artisan peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They should be made with fair trade one hundred percent Peruvian peanut butter, and strawberry and fig fruit preserve made by a convent of Lesbian nuns on a farm just outside of Portland. These two ingredients should then be delicately placed inside of a locally baked nine grain Afghani bolani flatbread.  As for drinks, raw milk sourced from a local farm, or imported dragon fruit juice.

This isn't complicated, people.


Only a sap sells lemonade directly.  The real money is in lemonade futures.  If you really want to make some bank though, you can engage in leveraged buyouts of the local lemonade stands, consolidate them to reduce costs, take out a loan using the lemonade stands as capital, and then declare bankruptcy and pocket the cash.

Now, let's talk lemonade-backed securities...
 
2013-07-09 10:46:38 AM
People giving cuteness money for nothing is NOTHING like real life America... right Kim Kardashian?

/I wish bad things on the author.
 
2013-07-09 10:53:04 AM
Sometimes I see kids selling lemonade, and I think "Lemonade sure would be nice right now".  But they don't take debit.  Stupid kids.
 
2013-07-09 10:55:59 AM
Geez, I guess there aren't any real world products that people pay too much for and aren't really needed.  Are there?
 
2013-07-09 11:10:52 AM
The only lemonade stand I can remember seeing my entire life was on a golf course. Made a mint. This was also before mandatory carts so golfers would have to carry a thermos for a cold drink, so I'm not sure if such a deal is still profitable. The other thing to remember that houses next to a golf course (even public ones like this example) tend to be insanely expensive (and hit by golf balls): I can only assume that daddy was a lawyer and could keep the heat off the stand (another public course backed to apartments. There was a big fence and no opportunity for a stand.

Now that I think about it, there was also a lemonade/gatorade stand on a rails-to-trails path. This was a one time deal (likely no parental members of the bar, the golf course one appeared to be a summer job). I think I just handed the kid a five and drank a bundle and left the change (I was trying to hit a specific time).

Had I tried to open a lemonade stand when was a kid I would learn a much more important lesson on capitalism: market barriers. The kids (teenagers, really) who owned the snowcone machines made some serious money. Anybody trying to do the same with a lemonade stand would stand around making jack squat. I have no idea how long it takes to make back the money for a snow cone machine (presumably they don't depreciate much anyway), but that was the way to go if you were willing to turn it into a "real job" (and don't live next to a golf course).
 
2013-07-09 11:11:40 AM

thurstonxhowell: You think a lot of things are true that aren't.


Is that the best you can do? Really?
 
2013-07-09 11:22:56 AM

filter: Do they pay by the word at Slate?


Kinda, but they only pay for the number of words before you get to the damned point(they pay double if you can make it to the second page before saying anything meaningful)
 
2013-07-09 11:27:20 AM
Sorry, Slate, but Fark off.  I agree with a good deal of your articles, but this is nonsense.  Properly administered by a knowledgeable parent, the lemonade stand is a perfect introduction for most kids into the world of business.

The key is in how it's presented to the kid.  If it's presented as a 'get rich quick' lesson, it will fail.  If it's presented as a 'chance to make some money' it will fail.  If it's presented as a 'business model', then it has a chance to teach the kids a LOT.
 
2013-07-09 11:28:06 AM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-09 11:28:22 AM
disagrees.
i.cdn.turner.com
 
2013-07-09 11:31:50 AM
A lemonade stand. That's where you have a business that gains money from people you know giving you an excess of money just because they know you, right? Sounds like kids are learning how to run a defense contracting business.
 
2013-07-09 11:37:46 AM
Hey, selling nostalgia to boomers is big business.
 
2013-07-09 11:39:22 AM

I am Jack's user id: disagrees.
[i.cdn.turner.com image 400x300]


Damn, I can't believe I forgot about that one!

/alright Mcgruder, where's season 4!!!!!
 
2013-07-09 11:44:49 AM
Using this same logic, we should eliminate public schools since they don't teach children about realistically learning.
 
2013-07-09 11:46:56 AM
I had a lemonade stand as a kid.  Did it for two summers.  Learned a few things.  For one, people aren't stupid and know when you've actually used real lemon juice and when you've used powdered mix.  Fill the cup as full as you can.  Quality matters!  For two, everybody has money and wants to spend it, it's just a question of what to buy.  The supply of money is endless!  If you're the only lemonade stand and it's a hot day and your lemonade is good, you'll sell everything you have.  For three, you have to fish where the fish are.  Setting up in a park is better than on a sidewalk.  A hot day was nice, a hot day when there was a soccer game was better - a whole team might stop by.  Quality, location and timing.  Amazingly, price - which I'd thought was the most important thing, was probably last on the list!  Kids didn't care if it was twenty cents a cup or a quarter or forty cents.  They just cared that they got a good drink of lemonade when they wanted it the most.

All these lessons paid off handsomely when [redacted] got into high school and started selling weed.
 
2013-07-09 11:48:53 AM
My only trouble with lemonade stands in my neighborhood is that it's fake country time lemonade that tastes like shiat, made by the parents, and the kids didn't spend money on materials. When my niece came to visit, she set up a lemonade stand while we were having a garage sale. We had her buy the lemons and make the lemonade herself. You don't get free lemons and free labor from aunt and uncle to make money with. She's from ecuador, so the primary purpose was to get her speaking english with adults on her visit here, but I still think our neighborhood kids are sellouts for just hocking country time and not investing money or time to get their "business" started. She did make a bit of money and had a nice time, and she was proud to sell a better quality product than other kids around the block, which was a nice lesson of its own anyway.
 
2013-07-09 11:53:28 AM
God Is My Co-Pirate:
Peanut butter?! Hasn't been allowed near schools for 10 years now. Organic soy butter possibly.

Soy?  SOY?  Soy has been linked to hormonal disruption and is an allergen.

Organic kamut bread with spelt-germ spread, no sugar or sodium, is the only thing I'd let my kid take to school in her lunch.
 
2013-07-09 11:54:21 AM

Mentat: topcon: Lemonade stands are just cliched.  That's the problem with them.  Be different.

You should have your kids selling artisan peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. They should be made with fair trade one hundred percent Peruvian peanut butter, and strawberry and fig fruit preserve made by a convent of Lesbian nuns on a farm just outside of Portland. These two ingredients should then be delicately placed inside of a locally baked nine grain Afghani bolani flatbread.  As for drinks, raw milk sourced from a local farm, or imported dragon fruit juice.

This isn't complicated, people.

Only a sap sells lemonade directly.  The real money is in lemonade futures.  If you really want to make some bank though, you can engage in leveraged buyouts of the local lemonade stands, consolidate them to reduce costs, take out a loan using the lemonade stands as capital, and then declare bankruptcy and pocket the cash.

Now, let's talk lemonade-backed securities...


despite your sarcasm you're pretty much right.

Kids should be taught that business is for making money so you can save for your future and also spend it on the things you want. Selling good lemonade is one instance of a way to make money but you can leverage other things to make money. You can sell "cuteness", call your relatives to come buy lemonade, get a local TV reporter to do a story on you so everyone and their mother comes to your stand. The point is you have to realize you're in business to make money and not only to sell lemonade.  If more small business owners could get their head around that point then fewer of them would fail their first year.
 
2013-07-09 11:55:53 AM
studebaker hoch:
All these lessons paid off handsomely when [redacted] got into high school and started selling weed.

I assume the difference is that if you ended up with too much supply your parents didn't just put the extra weed in the freezer for later.

(Or more likely, that a marijuana dealer in high school never has "too much supply".)
 
2013-07-09 11:57:52 AM

BitwiseShift: The big kid who intimidates them out of their lunch money and never seems to get caught or punished is lesson enough.


Careful what you say. Thats a sacred "first responder" you're talking about.
 
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