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(The Local)   Kidnappers to authorities: You better pay that ransom, or so help me god, we will totally kill us. I mean, them. Definitely the victims. They're definitely not us, nor are we them. Can we start again?   (thelocal.no) divider line 20
    More: Dumbass, kidnappers, Norwegian Police  
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5894 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2013 at 8:17 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



20 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-09 08:25:24 AM
Did they include a toe in the ransom note?
 
2013-07-09 08:25:29 AM
The thing is, since this is Norway, these people will get sent to a nice cottage in the suburbs and spend 6 months living there and working in the city. Then they'll be sent back home having been rehabilitated. And they will live out their boring beige lives in their beige house in their beige suburb of Lund.
 
2013-07-09 08:26:27 AM
Your Scandinavian crimes are so cute!
 
2013-07-09 08:28:54 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-09 08:28:57 AM
HOLD IT!  NEXT MAN MAKES A MOVE, THE NORWEGIAN GETS IT!
DROP IT!  OR I SWEAR I'LL BLOW THIS NORWEGIAN'S HEAD ALL OVER THIS TOWN!
OH LAWDY LAWDY HE'S DESP'T!  DO WHAT HE SAY!  DO WHAT HE SAAAAY!
 
2013-07-09 08:33:16 AM
i1.ytimg.com
"Alright, now we enter phase three. If you ever want to see my toe again..."
 
2013-07-09 08:34:15 AM
kithfans.com
Danny Husk is not amused.
 
2013-07-09 08:35:04 AM
www.theartsdesk.com
Doesn't know anything about it.
 
WGJ
2013-07-09 08:45:48 AM
They'll make excellent politicians someday.
 
2013-07-09 08:56:43 AM
Was this a Law & Order episode?
 
2013-07-09 08:58:12 AM
Did they include a toe in the ransom note?

You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me. Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with nail polish. These farking amateurs...
 
2013-07-09 09:01:54 AM
Crazy Sweeds...
 
2013-07-09 09:03:33 AM
whatculture.com
"Nobody follow us or I'll kill myself and then her!"
 
2013-07-09 09:08:17 AM
I was kidnapped once. I was standing in front of my schoolyard, and a black sedan pulls up. And two guys get out, and they say to me, do I wanna go away with them to a land, where everybody is fairies and elves, and I can have all the comic books I want and chocolate and wax lips, you know. And I said "yes" and I got into the car with them, 'cause I figured, y'know, "What the hell", I was home that week-end from college anyhow. They drive me off, and they sent a ransom note to my parents. And my father has bad reading habits, so he gets into bed at night with the ransom note, and he read half of it, and he got drowsy and fell asleep, then he lent it out.

Meanwhile they take me to New Jersey, bound and gagged, and my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped. They snap into action immediately: they rent out my room. The ransom note says for my father to leave a thousand dollars in a hollow tree in New Jersey. He has no trouble raising the thousand dollars, but he gets a hernia carrying the hollow tree.

The FBI surround the house, "Throw the kid out,", they say, "give us your guns, and come out with your hands up."
The kidnappers say "We'll throw the kid out, but let us keep our guns, and get to our car."
The FBI says "Throw the kid out, we'll let you get to your car, but give us your guns."
The kidnappers say "We'll throw the kid out, but let us keep our guns - we don't have to get to our car."
The FBI says "Keep the kid."

The FBI decides to lob in teargas, but they don't have teargas, so several of the agents put on the death scene from Camellia. Tearstricken my abducters give themselves up. They are sentenced to fifteen years on a chaingang, and they escape, twelve of then chained together at the ankle, getting by the guards posing as an immense charm bracelet.
 
2013-07-09 09:35:26 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: The thing is, since this is Norway, these people will get sent to a nice cottage in the suburbs and spend 6 months living there and working in the city. Then they'll be sent back home having been rehabilitated. And they will live out their boring beige lives in their beige house in their beige suburb of Lund.


The norwegian article says they have connections to a group of drug addicts, so I'm sure rehab or a similar arrangement is on its way. And this is at the south of Norway, so their houses are almost certainly white.

www.visitnorway.com
// This post has been brought to you by the Norwegian Tourism Board
 
2013-07-09 10:00:35 AM
Did they use that old-timey phone to make the call?
 
2013-07-09 11:43:58 AM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-09 12:52:06 PM

MythDragon: [whatculture.com image 501x205]
"Nobody follow us or I'll kill myself and then her!"


Phoeey. That's where I was going ...
 
2013-07-09 01:26:23 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-09 04:45:13 PM
www.thelocal.no

With a picture showing what an alleged phone used to look like... DECADES ago.

Are newspapers a dying breed, or simply their editors?


/ I's gonna put a picture of a phone with this article.
// Stop the presses!
/// These pics ain't no phones!
//// Don't want no damn Star Trek communicators
//// I said a damn phone!
 
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