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(The Daily Beast)   Tennis has a doping problem. Williams brothers deny the allegations   (thedailybeast.com) divider line 15
    More: Obvious, Wimbledon, tennis, Djokovic, Richard Gasquet, banned drugs, Rafael Nadal, blood doping, tennis great  
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1501 clicks; posted to Sports » on 09 Jul 2013 at 8:18 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



15 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-09 08:29:56 AM
Keep your filthy drug testing fascists the hell away from my tennis game.

In fact if all the drug testers dropped dead in the next minute, it would be a much nicer world.
 
2013-07-09 09:25:58 AM
Drugs aren't foreign to tennis. John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years. Andre Agassi revealed that he tested positive for meth in 1997, but the governing body threw away the test after he said he had accidentally sipped his assistant Slim's spiked soda. An ITF anti-doping tribunal ruled in 2009 that Richard Gasquet accidentally ingested cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub.

Well there's one of the problems. The ITF believes BS excuses like these.
Seriously, these are excuses that a third grade teacher would roll their eyes at before handing out detention.
C'mon. "I kissed a girl and it made me test positive for coke!"  REALLY?!?
 
2013-07-09 09:32:21 AM
Great headline! It's on par with one that makes me laugh to this day.
 
2013-07-09 09:58:24 AM
John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years.

Oh.....come......ON!

Six years?!

You didn't know that you were taking steroids for six mother farkin' years?!

Six months would have been laughingly naive.

Six years makes you dumber than a plate of goo.
 
2013-07-09 10:00:42 AM
i41.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-09 10:34:45 AM

beerrun: Drugs aren't foreign to tennis. John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years. Andre Agassi revealed that he tested positive for meth in 1997, but the governing body threw away the test after he said he had accidentally sipped his assistant Slim's spiked soda. An ITF anti-doping tribunal ruled in 2009 that Richard Gasquet accidentally ingested cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub.

Well there's one of the problems. The ITF believes BS excuses like these.
Seriously, these are excuses that a third grade teacher would roll their eyes at before handing out detention.
C'mon. "I kissed a girl and it made me test positive for coke!"  REALLY?!?


Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.
 
2013-07-09 11:01:16 AM
Marcus Aurelius:
Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.

So what you're saying is "who cares if anyone is cheating, as long as it makes for a great match."

Why don't we go a step further and have "Doper" leagues? That way every match can be marathon 6+ hours with 150mph serves the whole way.
 
2013-07-09 11:17:15 AM

Marcus Aurelius: beerrun: Drugs aren't foreign to tennis. John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years. Andre Agassi revealed that he tested positive for meth in 1997, but the governing body threw away the test after he said he had accidentally sipped his assistant Slim's spiked soda. An ITF anti-doping tribunal ruled in 2009 that Richard Gasquet accidentally ingested cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub.

Well there's one of the problems. The ITF believes BS excuses like these.
Seriously, these are excuses that a third grade teacher would roll their eyes at before handing out detention.
C'mon. "I kissed a girl and it made me test positive for coke!"  REALLY?!?

Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.


Lighten up, Francis.

These guys failed tests and the governing body let them off on the equivalent excuse to "my dog ate my homework."
 
2013-07-09 12:07:56 PM
I LOLd.  On par with this one I submitted

/Ah, nothing like a good old "tennis chick looks like a man" joke.
 
2013-07-09 12:08:19 PM

beerrun: Marcus Aurelius: beerrun: Drugs aren't foreign to tennis. John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years. Andre Agassi revealed that he tested positive for meth in 1997, but the governing body threw away the test after he said he had accidentally sipped his assistant Slim's spiked soda. An ITF anti-doping tribunal ruled in 2009 that Richard Gasquet accidentally ingested cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub.

Well there's one of the problems. The ITF believes BS excuses like these.
Seriously, these are excuses that a third grade teacher would roll their eyes at before handing out detention.
C'mon. "I kissed a girl and it made me test positive for coke!"  REALLY?!?

Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.

Lighten up, Francis.

These guys failed tests and the governing body let them off on the equivalent excuse to "my dog ate my homework."


And that is just fine and dandy with me.
 
2013-07-09 12:09:06 PM

ancker: Marcus Aurelius:
Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.

So what you're saying is "who cares if anyone is cheating, as long as it makes for a great match."

Why don't we go a step further and have "Doper" leagues? That way every match can be marathon 6+ hours with 150mph serves the whole way.


We already HAVE a dopers league, and it's working just fine, thanks.
 
2013-07-09 12:13:40 PM
Marcus Aurelius:
Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis. Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios. Wouldn't that be just awesome. What a way to improve the game.

So what you're saying is "who cares if anyone is cheating, as long as it makes for a great match."

Why don't we go a step further and have "Doper" leagues? That way every match can be marathon 6+ hours with 150mph serves the whole way.


I'm saying let's use these highly paid athletes as lab rats to find the best way to improve performance without doing long term damage to our bodies. Let them dope and keep detailed records of what they're using and publish their medical records. Science demands it.

Or, we could go a step further than banning performance enhancing drugs. Put pro athletes on a 2000 calorie/day vegan raw food diet and see who performs the best when everyone is handicapped the same.
 
2013-07-09 12:47:56 PM

browneye: John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years.

Oh.....come......ON!

Six years?!

You didn't know that you were taking steroids for six mother farkin' years?!

Six months would have been laughingly naive.

Six years makes you dumber than a plate of goo.


Not necessarily.  There are plenty of supplements that have been sold over the years through reputable retailers that contain(ed) substances that are banned by various sports.  This is why the NFL and MLB have an approved supplement list and why a significant number of players that end up getting busted end up failing their drug tests because of unapproved supplements.  When people find a supplement they like, they generally stick with it, so it's not unusual to someone to continue with a supplement for 6 years if they feel like it works and they do not know that it has a banned substance in it
 
2013-07-09 02:24:42 PM

Marcus Aurelius: ancker: Marcus Aurelius:
Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.

So what you're saying is "who cares if anyone is cheating, as long as it makes for a great match."

Why don't we go a step further and have "Doper" leagues? That way every match can be marathon 6+ hours with 150mph serves the whole way.

We already HAVE a dopers league, and it's working just fine, thanks.


So why don't the dopers stay in the dopers league and leave the regular league to people who don't feel the need to cheat at a game?
 
2013-07-09 05:16:46 PM

Marcus Aurelius: beerrun: Drugs aren't foreign to tennis. John McEnroe said that he unknowingly took steroids for six years. Andre Agassi revealed that he tested positive for meth in 1997, but the governing body threw away the test after he said he had accidentally sipped his assistant Slim's spiked soda. An ITF anti-doping tribunal ruled in 2009 that Richard Gasquet accidentally ingested cocaine while kissing a woman at a nightclub.

Well there's one of the problems. The ITF believes BS excuses like these.
Seriously, these are excuses that a third grade teacher would roll their eyes at before handing out detention.
C'mon. "I kissed a girl and it made me test positive for coke!"  REALLY?!?

Maybe you're right, maybe we should get the USADA involved so that the real story would be the drug testing failures instead of incredible tennis.  Instead of focusing on memorable matches like Murray versus Djokovic, we could drag them through the mud and humiliate them for having the wrong metabolite ratios.  Wouldn't that be just awesome.  What a way to improve the game.


Yes it would improve the game. Look at cycling. From the current tour de France it is quite obvious they have cleaned up and the Tour is much more exciting because of it.
The only reason so many cyclist got caught is because nowhere the testing is so rigid. I am 100% convinced doping is used in most professional sports.

Wouldn't American Footbal be much more interesting if it were played by humans again rather than steroid-filled hulks?  Doping ruins sports.
 
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