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(Telegraph)   We might've caught bin Laden a decade ago if not for the Pakistani cop who fell for the old "these aren't the bug-eyed murderous jihadis you're looking for" al-Qaeda mind trick   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 59
    More: Fail, Osama bin Laden, Pakistan, Pakistanis, al-Qaeda  
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4334 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Jul 2013 at 2:58 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-08 08:28:07 PM
No, it just means Pakistan would have had to lie about not knowing his whereabouts for a longer period of time.
 
2013-07-08 08:33:49 PM

Steve Zodiac: No, it just means Pakistan would have had to lie about not knowing his whereabouts for a longer period of time.


Yeah, this.
 
2013-07-08 08:34:42 PM
To be fair, no one would've recognized him with those oversized sunglasses

www.sportressofblogitude.com
 
2013-07-08 08:39:00 PM
and cowboy hat.
 
2013-07-08 08:39:50 PM
Pakistan is basically Mos Eisley without the cantina.
 
2013-07-08 08:41:45 PM

Gulper Eel: Pakistan is basically Mos Eisley without the cantina.


Hassan shot first!
 
2013-07-08 09:02:23 PM

Gulper Eel: Pakistan is basically Mos Eisley without the cantina.


I'm sure it smells worse.
 
2013-07-08 09:12:11 PM
But remember folks, Pakistan is on our side. We should send them more money.
 
2013-07-08 09:33:55 PM

jehovahs witness protection: But remember folks, Pakistan is on our side. We should send them more money.


With friends like this, who needs enemas?
 
2013-07-08 09:46:00 PM
media.moronail.net
 
2013-07-08 10:01:21 PM

jehovahs witness protection: But remember folks, Pakistan is on our side. We should send them more money.


The alternative to continuing to bribe them is worse. Nuking them might be better but there are political ramifications.
 
2013-07-08 10:44:56 PM
We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush
 
2013-07-08 11:14:33 PM

Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush


Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.
 
2013-07-09 12:26:12 AM

jake_lex: Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush

Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.


To free the shiat out of them.  How could you forget that?
 
2013-07-09 12:32:31 AM

jake_lex: Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush

Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kerry#Iraq
On December 14, 2001, 3 months after the attacks of 9/11, Kerry said on Larry King Live that "I think we clearly have to keep the pressure on terrorism globally. This doesn't end with Afghanistan by any imagination. And I think the president has made that clear. I think we have made that clear. Terrorism is a global menace. It's a scourge. And it is absolutely vital that we continue against, for instance, Saddam Hussein."
Kerry said on October 9, 2002; "I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force, if necessary, to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security." Bush relied on that resolution in ordering the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Kerry also gave a January 23, 2003 speech to Georgetown University saying "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator; leading an oppressive regime he presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."

Since you were apparently either too young to remember then, or too old to remember now.
 
2013-07-09 12:40:07 AM
with a cowboy hat,, goatskin chaps, and spurs on his sandals he fit right in.
 
2013-07-09 03:02:06 AM
We DID catch him.  The year was 2003 and we found him in Baghdad giving Saddam a whipped cream tongue bath while Uday and Qusay flogged the gimp with their weapons of ass destruction
 
2013-07-09 03:02:20 AM

Steve Zodiac: No, it just means Pakistan would have had to lie about not knowing his whereabouts for a longer period of time.


i5.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-09 03:05:10 AM
They may have come closest when the al-Qaeda leader was living in the Swat Valley during 2002 and 2003.

He was the Sultan of Swat?
 
2013-07-09 03:05:49 AM

jtown: Steve Zodiac: No, it just means Pakistan would have had to lie about not knowing his whereabouts for a longer period of time.

[i5.photobucket.com image 398x400]


Pakistan, not Iran.
 
2013-07-09 03:07:38 AM

jehovahs witness protection: But remember folks, Pakistan is on our side. We should send them more money.


Forget it Jake, it's Pakistan.
 
2013-07-09 03:10:47 AM
Yeah, this was like how I didn't notice my backyards was full of marijuana.

You think the cops would actually believe that?
 
2013-07-09 03:15:04 AM
Really reads like a cover-your-ass story doesn't it?
 
2013-07-09 03:16:05 AM
I might have not gotten sick a while back if i had really made sure the chicken was fresh before i cooked it also. I did not. I paid the price.
I wont bother getting into the massive brain fart about this ass that happened. The Bourne series is fiction.
Some of James Bond is based on real folks, at least the Fleming ones. I have yet to see a super villian who owned a volcano ( or squatted and built the crap out of one ) or stole a space shuttle. It seems they mostly just have a lot of automatic weaponry and ammo.
Let me put this another way- The US was watching Snowden. He was on an island. He books, to another island, and everyone was pants down. Dont they have a single damn good criminal that they could pay a good salary to to monitor him ? Hell, I could have done that for under 5k a day ( plus expenses ) . Anyhow- of course obl skated for so long. He was shielded by questionable allies and their assets. And I am sick of questionable allies costing money while we cut food stamps.
 
2013-07-09 03:21:30 AM
For the record- I do think the best thing for snowden to do is go south, and force a serious dialog between north and south america about things. And- I do recognise that is unpopular, almost as much as i think he should take asylum, because otherwise, if he stays in Moscow, hes down a rabbit hole.
 
2013-07-09 03:23:02 AM

Boojum2k: jake_lex: Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush

Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kerry#Iraq
On December 14, 2001, 3 months after the attacks of 9/11, Kerry said on Larry King Live that "I think we clearly have to keep the pressure on terrorism globally. This doesn't end with Afghanistan by any imagination. And I think the president has made that clear. I think we have made that clear. Terrorism is a global menace. It's a scourge. And it is absolutely vital that we continue against, for instance, Saddam Hussein."
Kerry said on October 9, 2002; "I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force, if necessary, to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security." Bush relied on that resolution in ordering the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Kerry also gave a January 23, 2003 speech to Georgetown University saying "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator; leading an oppressive regime he presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."
Since you were apparently either too young to remember then, or too old to remember now.


FARK YOU JOHN KERRY.
 
2013-07-09 03:29:21 AM

jehovahs witness protection: But remember folks, Pakistan is on our side. We should send them more money.


We don't send them money because they're on our side. We send them aid because we don't want to see the country go to shiat, leaving nuclear weapons in the hands of even worse people. Not everything in international politics is as simple as a game of CIV IV.
 
2013-07-09 03:31:17 AM

scottydoesntknow: Gulper Eel: Pakistan is basically Mos Eisley without the cantina.

Hassan shot chop first!


FTFY
 
2013-07-09 03:32:45 AM
Pakistan has ever been our friend and ally

images1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-09 03:33:09 AM

Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush


Two words:  Emmanuel Goldstein.  George w. bush didn't *want* to catch Osama bin Laughin'.
 
2013-07-09 03:34:02 AM
"Excuse me Sir do you know why I stopped you today?"

"Does it have anything to do with Osama Bin Laden Being in the back seat? No, okay, just checking."
 
2013-07-09 03:38:35 AM

SearchN: Really reads like a cover-your-ass story doesn't it?


One guy dropping the ball is not as crazy as the CIA/Afgani goof at Tora Bora in 2001.
 
2013-07-09 03:42:57 AM

UsikFark: They may have come closest when the al-Qaeda leader was living in the Swat Valley during 2002 and 2003.

He was the Sultan of Swat?


Yes, I also hear he was quite the babe. ;)
 
2013-07-09 03:44:43 AM
Caught who? As I recall there was some government tale about catching someone. Can we see the body? No, citizen, we had to dump it into the sea immediately and without witnesses to respect the religion we have been crusading against for the past several years. Can we at least see photos? No, citizen, we can't show you photos because they might make muslims angry. But you paraded the photos of the dead muslim sons of Saddam Hussein around for all to see. SHUT UP AND OBEY, CITIZEN!!!
 
2013-07-09 03:48:54 AM
It's not you're expecting Mr. Notorious to be driving the main roads on a daily jot to the supermarket for a case of Coors.
 
2013-07-09 03:55:59 AM

Boojum2k: Kerry also gave a January 23, 2003 speech to Georgetown University saying "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator; leading an oppressive regime he presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."
Since you were apparently either too young to remember then, or too old to remember now.


The Democrats in general were almost completely worthless on the issue. Wellstone and Feingold did what they could, but one of them is dead and we replaced the other with one of the derpiest tea partiers in the Senate. We then elected an ultra liberal lesbian to serve along side him in the next senatoral election, so our state's vote in the senate now almost completely cancels itself out. Probably as it should be at this point.
 
2013-07-09 03:58:36 AM

Munchkin City Coroner: Caught who? As I recall there was some government tale about catching someone. Can we see the body? No, citizen, we had to dump it into the sea immediately and without witnesses to respect the religion we have been crusading against for the past several years. Can we at least see photos? No, citizen, we can't show you photos because they might make muslims angry. But you paraded the photos of the dead muslim sons of Saddam Hussein around for all to see. SHUT UP AND OBEY, CITIZEN!!!


Pat Tillman's family seen nodding in unison.
 
2013-07-09 04:17:32 AM
And maybe just maybe if we followed up on Tora Bora. But then again, we had a pressing engagement in Baghdad
 
2013-07-09 04:21:21 AM

Boojum2k: jake_lex: Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush

Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Kerry#Iraq
On December 14, 2001, 3 months after the attacks of 9/11, Kerry said on Larry King Live that "I think we clearly have to keep the pressure on terrorism globally. This doesn't end with Afghanistan by any imagination. And I think the president has made that clear. I think we have made that clear. Terrorism is a global menace. It's a scourge. And it is absolutely vital that we continue against, for instance, Saddam Hussein."
Kerry said on October 9, 2002; "I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force, if necessary, to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security." Bush relied on that resolution in ordering the 2003 invasion of Iraq. Kerry also gave a January 23, 2003 speech to Georgetown University saying "Without question, we need to disarm Saddam Hussein. He is a brutal, murderous dictator; leading an oppressive regime he presents a particularly grievous threat because he is so consistently prone to miscalculation. So the threat of Saddam Hussein with weapons of mass destruction is real."
Since you were apparently either too young to remember then, or too old to remember now.


Yes, we totally forgot that time when the junior senator from Massachusetts totally over-ruled the Commander in Chief of the United States
 
2013-07-09 04:23:24 AM

jake_lex: Peter von Nostrand: We might have also caught him earlier had the President not been more interested in other foreign policy blunders and clearing brush

Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.


We went into Iraq because bin Laden was there. He was north, east, west, and south of Baghdad.
 
2013-07-09 04:23:53 AM
Mfw people keep saying 'caught' in this thread as if that's what actually happened.

He was executed with no trial.
 
2013-07-09 04:25:06 AM
Stop and imagine how this would have gone down if the policeman had recognised him and been determined to bring him in.

Policeman: Hey, is that Osama Bin Laden?
Henchman #1: We'll give you £50 to go away
Policeman: Americans are offering millions to bring him in
Henchman 1,2,3,4 + OBL : *shoots policeman in the face several times*

Yeah, real missed opportunity there.
 
2013-07-09 04:40:32 AM
I'm glad to learn that Pakistan has traffic cops.  Because that's definitely their biggest issue.
 
2013-07-09 05:03:45 AM

ex0h: Mfw people keep saying 'caught' in this thread as if that's what actually happened.

He was executed with no trial.


boo f*cking hoo
 
2013-07-09 06:38:29 AM
OBL: "it's ok officer, we're on our way to a costume ball"
Pakistani Cop: "hey, that's a pretty damn good costume. That beard is perfect. It's so good, I'll let you off with a warning.!"
 
2013-07-09 07:29:22 AM
I personally think the guy was simply stunned over the head with a large quantity of cash. Common source of amnesia in lots of cops.
 
2013-07-09 07:30:02 AM

jake_lex: Yeah, going after Bin Laden would have been a distraction from the war in Iraq, which was more important because...shiat, I really have a hard time remembering why we went to war in Iraq in the first place.


W needed to prove he had a bigger penis than Saddam.
 
2013-07-09 07:40:38 AM
Secret move keeps bin Laden records in the shadows

WE GOT OSAMA!!!

And the NSA is NOT spying on you.

Sincerely,
US Department of Truth, Openness and Honesty
 
2013-07-09 07:50:01 AM

Slaxl: Stop and imagine how this would have gone down if the policeman had recognised him and been determined to bring him in.

Policeman: Hey, is that Osama Bin Laden?
Henchman #1: We'll give you £50 to go away
Policeman: Americans are offering millions to bring him in
Henchman 1,2,3,4 + OBL : *shoots policeman in the face several times*

Yeah, real missed opportunity there.


This is more or less what I'm thinking. You can take the cash and never speak of it again or end up dead on the side of the road in a ditch after being shot 20 times. I doubt he had the resources available to him to arrest the most wanted man in the world being a traffic cop.

As for not reporting it I can understand that too. The odds were that OBL was long gone and anything he could report would be of very limited use and who knows who was corrupt and he likely would be in a world of shiat for not attempting to apprehend him / being bought off.

So his choices where to be killed / fired / fired then killed or keep his mouth shut and forget that day ever happened. Can't say it was the ethically "correct" answer but I am fairly sure which I would choose.
 
2013-07-09 07:50:25 AM

Boojum2k: Since you were apparently either too young to remember then, or too old to remember now.


And that resolution got Hans Blix and the inspectors back in with permission to look just about anywhere without advance warning, and they found diddly. *That's* when Bush made the poor choice of actually using the force that had been authorized.

"During the lead-up to war in March 2003, United Nations weapons inspector had found no stockpiles of WMD and had made significant progress toward resolving open issues of disarmament noting "proactive" but not always the "immediate" Iraqi cooperation as called for by. He concluded that it would take "but months" to resolve the key remaining disarmament tasks. The United States asserted this was a breach of Resolution 1441 but failed to convince the UN Security Council to pass a new resolution authorizing the use of force due to lack of evidence. Despite being unable to get a new resolution authorizing force and citing section 3 of the Joint Resolution passed by the U.S. Congress, asserted peaceful measures could not disarm Iraq of the weapons he alleged it to have and launched a, despite multiple dissenting opinions and questions of integrity about the underlying intelligence. Later U.S.-led inspections agreed that Iraq had earlier abandoned its WMD programs, but asserted Iraq had an intention to pursue those programs if UN sanctions were ever lifted. Bush later said that the biggest regret of his presidency was "the intelligence failure" in Iraq, while the Senate Intelligence Committee found in 2008 that his administration "misrepresented the intelligence and the threat from Iraq". admitted that he lied about his allegations, "then watched in shock as it was used to justify the war"."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iraq_and_weapons_of_mass_destruction
 
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