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(Celebslam)   Beach alcohol laws apparently don't apply to Reese Witherspoon   (celebslam.celebuzz.com) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, Reese Witherspoon  
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9077 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Jul 2013 at 1:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-08 11:55:15 AM  
Meh, considering that it's right next to a house, that's more private property than public beach.
 
2013-07-08 12:20:11 PM  
That's nothing.  You should see how many ordinances are violated at one of Jackie Treehorn's parties.
 
2013-07-08 12:33:20 PM  
I've never followed alcohol laws on beaches. Most of them are for people that get out of hand anyway. The general public consistently drinks on every beach I've been to.
 
2013-07-08 12:49:32 PM  
Don't you know who she is?
 
2013-07-08 01:10:45 PM  
So, Beach alcohol laws don't apply to beaches?
 
2013-07-08 01:19:45 PM  
I'd be more concerned about the glassware.
 
2013-07-08 01:34:27 PM  
Does she stir her contraband withherspoon?
 
2013-07-08 01:35:55 PM  
That looks like liquid in a glass to me.  Who says its alcohol?

Why does the author of the article have to be such a catty biatch?
 
2013-07-08 01:36:07 PM  

xynix: I've never followed alcohol laws on beaches. Most of them are for people that get out of hand anyway. The general public consistently drinks on every beach I've been to.


Me either. If you keep to yourself and dont cause a rukus the beach patrol or lifeguards will leave you be. If you are being an ahole thats when they wil slap you with the alcohol on the beach fines.
 
2013-07-08 01:39:20 PM  
She should change her name to "Reese Boozer-Poon" - cuz it sounds drunkenly awesome & stuff.
 
2013-07-08 01:44:47 PM  

oldfarthenry: She should change her name to "Reese Boozer-Poon" - cuz it sounds drunkenly awesome & stuff.


a slutty drunk? i've never heard of such a thing.
 
2013-07-08 01:51:30 PM  

groppet: xynix: I've never followed alcohol laws on beaches. Most of them are for people that get out of hand anyway. The general public consistently drinks on every beach I've been to.

Me either. If you keep to yourself and dont cause a rukus the beach patrol or lifeguards will leave you be. If you are being an ahole thats when they wil slap you with the alcohol on the beach fines.


Same thing when we go canoe tripping, although we did have DNR give us a dirty look but then looked the other way when we showed them our trash bag for cans and stuff.
 
2013-07-08 01:51:42 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: I'd be more concerned about the glassware.


This.  What idiot uses glass containers - much less stemware - on a beach?
 
2013-07-08 01:54:04 PM  
Forget the alcohol, that is one hideous swimsuit...
 
2013-07-08 01:55:05 PM  
Reese Withers-poon.
/heh-heh...heheh heh heh
 
2013-07-08 01:57:27 PM  
At least she wasn't driving...
 
2013-07-08 02:03:36 PM  
Another 1 %er who doesn't think the law applies to them.

And of course we have the defenders of the rich show up to defend her.
 
2013-07-08 02:03:39 PM  

UberDave: That's nothing.  You should see how many ordinances are violated at one of Jackie Treehorn's parties.


Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town.You don't draw shiat, Uberdave. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Uberdave . I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?
 
2013-07-08 02:23:27 PM  
The law is completely irrelevant...Did you see how fat she looked in that swimsuit?  Soooo-eee, Petunia...
 
2013-07-08 02:29:37 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: The law is completely irrelevant...Did you see how fat she looked in that swimsuit?  Soooo-eee, Petunia...


More Reese for me.
 
2013-07-08 02:36:22 PM  

zvoidx: Reese Withers-poon.
/heh-heh...heheh heh heh


I was going to say she can get drunk on my beach any time (if you know what I mean), but that kinda took the wind out of my sails (if you know what I mean).
 
2013-07-08 02:42:09 PM  

Griftin Rubes: UberDave: That's nothing.  You should see how many ordinances are violated at one of Jackie Treehorn's parties.

Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town.You don't draw shiat, Uberdave. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Uberdave . I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?


I'm sorry, I wasn't listening.
 
2013-07-08 03:08:59 PM  
Kevin Smith, please pick up the white courtesy phone
 
2013-07-08 03:19:47 PM  
what kind of a backwards place would disallow alcohol from a beach?

sorry, is there any reason to go to a beach without alcohol?
 
2013-07-08 03:26:59 PM  
Is this actually a thing, they've banned alcohol on the beach? Seems downright un-American.
Oh, California. Whatever.

Now mrs varmitydog informs me that alcohol is banned at the local state park beach, right here in Panama City.
Goodness gracious. How terrible.
 
2013-07-08 03:27:14 PM  

groppet: xynix: I've never followed alcohol laws on beaches. Most of them are for people that get out of hand anyway. The general public consistently drinks on every beach I've been to.

Me either. If you keep to yourself and dont cause a rukus the beach patrol or lifeguards will leave you be. If you are being an ahole thats when they wil slap you with the alcohol on the beach fines.


Back when I was just a legal 21 year old we even had the CPD (after seeing one empty undisposed beer can) tell our group that only assholes get in trouble for drinking on the beach, and that as long as we put our beers in cups and don't ruin other peoples' days we'll be fine.

I have seen the cops randomly check people coolers and bags, which seems a little bit douchey but hey, anything the city can do can make money is fine, right? These days, I generally just put vodka in a water bottle and mix it with something else. Haven't had any problems with that.
 
2013-07-08 03:32:02 PM  
The law is in place to prevent raging keggers and open fifths, not a little discreet wine sipping.

Try to have some perspec...oh right, FARK.

Carry on with your lynching.
 
2013-07-08 03:49:10 PM  

quatchi: Don't you know who she is?


doblelol.com
 
2013-07-08 03:50:28 PM  
i293.photobucket.com

/obligz.
 
2013-07-08 04:15:41 PM  
It's ok, she's an American citizen.
 
2013-07-08 04:24:27 PM  
Stay out of Malibu Witherspoon. Stay out of Malibu deadbeat.
 
2013-07-08 04:24:29 PM  

SlagginOff: I have seen the cops randomly check people coolers and bags, which seems a little bit douchey but hey, anything the city can do can make money is fine, right? These days, I generally just put vodka in a water bottle and mix it with something else. Haven't had any problems with that.


Mixing tequila in sun screen bottles and or a ham soaked in rum works too
 
2013-07-08 05:01:41 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: Another 1 %er who doesn't think the law applies to them.

And of course we have the defenders of the rich show up to defend her

Yeah, because you 99%ers NEVER drink on the beach

 
2013-07-08 05:08:57 PM  
Just think, as soon as they throw her in jail, there will be NOBODY drinking on any beaches.

Right? Seriously, what's with all the gossip mag shiat recently? It's 10x worse than usual.
 
2013-07-08 05:10:03 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: The law is completely irrelevant...Did you see how fat she looked in that swimsuit?  Soooo-eee, Petunia...


That will be the followup story, this shiatty website will get 2 for the price of 1 this time.
 
2013-07-08 05:27:18 PM  

IdBeCrazyIf: SlagginOff: I have seen the cops randomly check people coolers and bags, which seems a little bit douchey but hey, anything the city can do can make money is fine, right? These days, I generally just put vodka in a water bottle and mix it with something else. Haven't had any problems with that.

Mixing tequila in sun screen bottles and or a ham soaked in rum works too


You ever put your booze in a watermelon? Cut out a section, pour in your tipple of choice (I'm partial to rum, myself), plug up the hole, store in the cooler for a couple hours, and enjoy!

Just make sure you don't confuse this one with the watermelon your give your nieces and nephews (never happened to me... nope... sure didn't...)!
 
2013-07-08 07:33:44 PM  
Those laws don't apply to privet property, which she's obviously on seeing as she's on a deck of some house.
 
2013-07-08 07:57:45 PM  

xynix: I've never followed alcohol laws on beaches. Most of them are for people that get out of hand anyway. The general public consistently drinks on every beach I've been to.


Here in Newport Beach they are big enough assholes that (even though we live an easy 5 minute bike ride from the beach) we literally never go. They will open container you the second you step off private property if they see you.
 
2013-07-08 08:29:08 PM  
look, some laws are meant to be broken.
 
2013-07-08 08:52:34 PM  

PhiloeBedoe: The law is completely irrelevant...Did you see how fat she looked in that swimsuit?  Soooo-eee, Petunia...



RUINED! Like all once hot chicks who for whatever earthly reason decide that they just MUST, MUST bear fruit.

I'll tell you there ought to be a law and it ought to require that all hot chicks, as judged by me, shall be required to have a surrogate if they decide they must have kids.

What a shame.
 
2013-07-08 09:06:00 PM  

tenpoundsofcheese: Another 1 %er who doesn't think the law applies to them.

And of course we have the defenders of the rich show up to defend her.


Poor white trash, here.  I don't think this law applies to me, either.

Superjew: The law is in place to prevent raging keggers and open fifths, not a little discreet wine sipping.

Try to have some perspec...oh right, FARK.

Carry on with your lynching.


Really?  I only saw the one, and that guy's a dink, anyway.

Griftin Rubes: Mr. Treehorn draws a lot of water in this town.You don't draw shiat, Uberdave. Now we got a nice, quiet little beach community here, and I aim to keep it nice and quiet. So let me make something plain. I don't like you sucking around, bothering our citizens, Uberdave . I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?


I don't like your kind of people.  I don't like to see you come out to this clean country in oily hair, dressed up in those silk suits, and try to pass yourselves off as decent Americans.  I'll do business with you, but the fact is that I despise your masquerade, the dishonest way you pose yourself, yourself and your whole f*cking family.
 
2013-07-08 10:12:12 PM  
The neighborhood I live in has a swimming pool as part of the HOA.  It has a "no alcohol, no glass containers" policy too.  People get around it by putting vodka or rum in plastic water bottles.

/yes, I have done it too.
//getting a buzz while discreetly admiring the hot MILFs sunbathing is a good way to spend a summer afternoon.
 
2013-07-08 11:02:33 PM  
Maybe she wasn't listening.
i6.photobucket.com

 
2013-07-08 11:45:35 PM  
The ban on alcohol may seem dumb, but it's actually in place for a very good reason. Every time a drop of alcohol hits the ocean (like Reese's glass of Rose), a dolphin calf becomes separated from its mother.
Oh blow it out your ass. Prove that.
 
2013-07-09 12:51:23 AM  
Ah yes.....Malibu....where I broke the no alcohol on the beach law at least twice back in college.
 
2013-07-09 03:21:58 AM  
No, with a knife!

/I don't care if that joke has already been made
 
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