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(Washington Post)   Officials at D.C.'s Metro find final solution to the problem of unauthorized flowers planted outside a station. It was as if thousands of Morning Glories suddenly cried out in terror and were silenced   (washingtonpost.com) divider line 91
    More: Followup, Metro, Phantom Planter, police stations, Dan Stessel, transit system  
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8501 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 5:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-07 02:23:43 PM  
i.imgur.com

R.I.P. FINAL SOLUTION
 
2013-07-07 05:33:21 PM  
Leave it to the a-holes in D.C. to subtract humanity from their little game.
 
2013-07-07 05:34:45 PM  

HotIgneous Intruder: Leave it to the a-holes in D.C. to subtract humanity from their little game.


It's Obama's fault. The Sequester AND the fact he has forced the price of gas up by his price-fixing powers as president has caused them to have to look for ways to cut back on mowing and lawn care.

Obama doesn't care about grass people.
 
2013-07-07 05:35:14 PM  
Go away, repeat. Go on. Git.
 
2013-07-07 05:35:36 PM  
That has got to be the worst metropolitan area to live in.
 
2013-07-07 05:36:53 PM  
Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.
 
2013-07-07 05:37:39 PM  
Wow. if they'd just left them there, the flowers would have been just fine with no further attention. It's not like DC doesn't get rain. It's not San Diego.
 
2013-07-07 05:38:07 PM  
Ecological terrorism. Plain and simple. Hang the bastard.
 
Oak
2013-07-07 05:38:54 PM  
Free flowers?  The penalty is DEATH.

/Judge Dredd's America
 
2013-07-07 05:41:52 PM  
WantsMoreGovernmentMoreGovernment.jpg
 
2013-07-07 05:42:24 PM  
Everything you need to know about the Metro is right here: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/mar/26/metro-derailed-by-cul t ure-of-complacence-incompete/

Thanks again to the Farker who posted that last time, it was very illuminating.
 
2013-07-07 05:46:49 PM  

libranoelrose: That has got to be the worst metropolitan area to live in.


Actually it's quite nice... maybe give it a try before you knock it.
 
2013-07-07 05:48:22 PM  
Stepping on some DC bureaucrats turf by planting flowers on government propertah? Send this terrorist straight to Guantanamo!
 
2013-07-07 05:51:29 PM  
www.slashfilm.com

Flowers?   FLOWERS??!!  There are FLOWERS??!!?!?
 
2013-07-07 05:54:55 PM  
Gah. Morning glories? Spray those nasty things with 2,4-d and burn them before they spread.
 
2013-07-07 05:55:07 PM  
Doesn't this guy have a yard?  Window boxes?  A community garden?  Why is he making the Metro do his hobby for him?
 
2013-07-07 05:55:46 PM  
Morning glory seeds contain an LSD-like compound and they were doing it to protect the children.
 
2013-07-07 05:56:13 PM  

"The transit system regularly pleads poverty, yet employees devoted supposedly valuable time to remove more than 1,000 morning glories, cardinal flowers and cypress vines that Docter donated to the city - albeit without permission. "


I've seen it my job. You'd be surprised what a company will spend money on despite pleading that costs need to be cut, when they decide something needs to be changed at all cost.

 
2013-07-07 06:00:08 PM  

Vector R: Everything you need to know about the Metro is right here: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/mar/26/metro-derailed-by-cul t ure-of-complacence-incompete/

Thanks again to the Farker who posted that last time, it was very illuminating.


Moonie times? Really?
 
2013-07-07 06:00:36 PM  

Jabberwookiee: Ecological terrorism. Plain and simple. Hang the bastard.


100% correct. Can you even imagine a world where a green leefy layer of vegetative growth covering an asphalt and brick landscape wouldn't be a threat to humanity? I mean, dude flowers, muthafarkin flowers in America's murder capital! Should have shot him on sight and wrapped his corpse in bacon (in case he was a Mohammedian) and dumped him in a lake.

Stupid terrorist with stupid flowers, non story, move on Fark.
 
2013-07-07 06:01:34 PM  

Vector R: Everything you need to know about the Metro is right here: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/mar/26/metro-derailed-by-cul t ure-of-complacence-incompete/

Thanks again to the Farker who posted that last time, it was very illuminating.


static.tvtropes.org

THAT'S RACIST!
 
2013-07-07 06:02:07 PM  

bunner: [www.slashfilm.com image 426x309]

Flowers?   FLOWERS??!!  There are FLOWERS??!!?!?


YES, Your Blueness!
 
2013-07-07 06:03:06 PM  
D.C.: City of Whores.
 
2013-07-07 06:04:02 PM  
Remember kids, this this a bureaucracy. Doesn't matter if it is public or private, they are concerned with process and policy. Not results.
You here it time and time again. "We followed our policy."  Outcomes, positive or negative, are simply incidental to the process.  And there is never a bureaucrat that will make  a call that might be construed as giving them accountability for a decision. If that bureaucrat is in a position that would even allow for such a decision, you can be dammed sure that that person has learned that no good deeds go unpunished. Thus you get what you see here.
 
2013-07-07 06:04:32 PM  
It reminds me of a story I had to read in junior high, twentysome years ago.

I don't remember the name of it, but it was about some kid that moved to a city.  He hung out with other kids, and they had this hangout on the roof of an abandoned factory.  He talks his friends into cultivating a garden, in an inner city/urban decay area, and these kids are basically complete strangers to greenspace.  They go to lengths to get their hands on seeds and topsoil and such and make this beautiful lush garden on the roof of this building.

Then one day some men show up on the roof at their hangout, it was the buildings owner and some of his workers, and he expels the kids from his property and has the garden destroyed.  The story went to some detail describing how the sod and plants were ripped up and tossed off the roof.  Then the story just ended, on that downer ending.

Always made me glad I was growing up in the country, and made me realize I could never live in a big metropolitan area where there is no grass and everyone is so cut off from the soil and natural life.
 
2013-07-07 06:04:54 PM  

Vector R: Everything you need to know about the Metro is right here: http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2012/mar/26/metro-derailed-by-cul t ure-of-complacence-incompete/

Thanks again to the Farker who posted that last time, it was very illuminating.


Don't trust anything from the Washington Times.... not to defend Metro here
 
2013-07-07 06:05:20 PM  
Plus, the brown terraists can hide their nefarious devices in them there planters under them leaves.
Got to pertekt Merkuns.
 
2013-07-07 06:06:58 PM  
When monolithic gray, drab, featureless facade of perfect society is corrupted with useless beauty, proletariat get wrong message, komrade.
 
2013-07-07 06:10:39 PM  

Wall_of_Doodoo: Jabberwookiee: Ecological terrorism. Plain and simple. Hang the bastard.

100% correct. Can you even imagine a world where a green leefy layer of vegetative growth covering an asphalt and brick landscape wouldn't be a threat to humanity? I mean, dude flowers, muthafarkin flowers in America's murder capital! Should have shot him on sight and wrapped his corpse in bacon (in case he was a Mohammedian) and dumped him in a lake.

Stupid terrorist with stupid flowers, non story, move on Fark.


Unless you count military incursions, I think Chicago is America's murder capital, although I believe DC is in the top five.  DC, where everything goes to die.  DC, a place that started out as a swamp and has been upgraded all the way into a toilet.

A couple hundred years ago a British expeditionary force burned it to the ground, and the only thing that actually slowed them down was at Bladensburg where a couple hundred sailors and Marines held off like three charges of thousands, to the point that they simply went around.  If the same thing happened today, we would help them.
 
2013-07-07 06:12:09 PM  
This is why, despite the ROUSs, I prefer the T over the Metro.

You not only can bring food and drink in the stations, they sell food in the stations.
 
Rat
2013-07-07 06:20:17 PM  
Union rules, pal.

©
 
2013-07-07 06:24:06 PM  
Silly Phantom Planter, how did he think those boxes got to be plantless to begin with.
 
2013-07-07 06:27:07 PM  
An ode to the 1% and their flunkies

The business plan is closing.
The wealth has been dug out.
We're safe behind our gates and walls
So let them rail and shout

Maintenance?  That's for the help.
We welcome more decay.
Gray and broken, staffed by tokens
The order of the day

Soon the rails will rust and bend
The streets will crack and sink
And we'll be heading for the airport
Let them raise a stink

We came to fill our pockets
And now our mission's done
We promised we would lead men forward
We didn't say which ones

We built the world you're dying in
So we could move our gold
And you can have what's left of it
Shot to hell and old

But don't start getting uppity
And trying to paint your cage
We have a thousand guns to cock
For each who dares to rage

And when the concrete crumbles
And roofs fall off the beams
And weeds festoon your rusting cars
When burst the final seams

We'll be sitting pretty
And we'll be living large
But don't you dare forget, you fools
That we're the ones in charge.
 
2013-07-07 06:33:11 PM  

Duke_leto_Atredes: Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.


Dude, you're too drunk to fark.
Go to sleep.
 
2013-07-07 06:37:58 PM  
are they datura?  cause if they are a child or pet could eat them.  rendering them useless
 
2013-07-07 06:41:33 PM  
I get the impression from some homeowners that morning glories have a downside, though I don't know the specifics.  I have heard that some climbing plants can do a surprising amount of damage to buildings, though--are morning glories among them?
 
2013-07-07 06:45:32 PM  

Silverstaff: It reminds me of a story I had to read in junior high, twentysome years ago.

I don't remember the name of it, but it was about some kid that moved to a city.  He hung out with other kids, and they had this hangout on the roof of an abandoned factory.  He talks his friends into cultivating a garden, in an inner city/urban decay area, and these kids are basically complete strangers to greenspace.  They go to lengths to get their hands on seeds and topsoil and such and make this beautiful lush garden on the roof of this building.

Then one day some men show up on the roof at their hangout, it was the buildings owner and some of his workers, and he expels the kids from his property and has the garden destroyed.  The story went to some detail describing how the sod and plants were ripped up and tossed off the roof.  Then the story just ended, on that downer ending.

Always made me glad I was growing up in the country, and made me realize I could never live in a big metropolitan area where there is no grass and everyone is so cut off from the soil and natural life.


Wise words, sir.

We get many Brooklynites moving to Staten Island, and the first thing they do is try to make it like Brooklyn!
 
2013-07-07 06:48:05 PM  
this story ended exactly how you should have expected when it turned up on fark a couple of weeks ago.
 
2013-07-07 06:53:02 PM  
Eugene, Oregon has started ripping them (guerrilla garden sites) out.  People were planting invasive species, things that needed a lot of water, stuff that needs trimming back every year, etc.

Good idea (the urban beautification), poor execution.
 
2013-07-07 06:57:27 PM  

Duke_leto_Atredes: Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.


d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net
 
2013-07-07 07:06:29 PM  
s11.postimg.org
 
2013-07-07 07:11:56 PM  
Final solution ? Plant some blackberries. Or kudzu for that matter. They will never get rid of either. By the time they get a plan working, half the city will be covered.
 
2013-07-07 07:19:41 PM  

Duke_leto_Atredes: Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.


A year of TotalFark to anyone who can successfully diagram the above.

/my reply has no subject
//Skitt's Law
 
2013-07-07 07:22:40 PM  

Wall_of_Doodoo: Jabberwookiee: Ecological terrorism. Plain and simple. Hang the bastard.

100% correct. Can you even imagine a world where a green leefy layer of vegetative growth covering an asphalt and brick landscape wouldn't be a threat to humanity? I mean, dude flowers, muthafarkin flowers in America's murder capital! Should have shot him on sight and wrapped his corpse in bacon (in case he was a Mohammedian) and dumped him in a lake.

Stupid terrorist with stupid flowers, non story, move on Fark.


I suspect none of our fellow citizens have seen Little Shop of Horrors. Or they probably think it was a movie, when in fact it was a documentary. I say round up all the florists and have them tried for treason!
 
2013-07-07 07:24:49 PM  
Never underestimate the stupidity of low level bureaucrats.
 
2013-07-07 07:29:24 PM  

Trid_Kicker: A year of TotalFark to anyone who can successfully diagram the above.


Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.

DC Metro and the DC (local) government are completely blac[k] run.  It's not their fault the[y] Sony [don't] know any better.  Please stop pointing out their errors, they just can't help it.  So please let them be.

 
Rat
2013-07-07 07:38:07 PM  

Trid_Kicker: Duke_leto_Atredes: Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.

A year of TotalFark to anyone who can successfully diagram the above.

/my reply has no subject
//Skitt's Law


Too Boo Coo GI

© no Fark for you
 
2013-07-07 07:42:04 PM  

Spirit Hammer: Duke_leto_Atredes: Dc metro and the dc govt are blac run completely it is not their fault the Sony know any better please stop pointing out their errors the just cant help it. So please just let them be.

Dude, you're too drunk to fark.
Go to sleep.


I didn't think such a thing was possible. Wow.
 
2013-07-07 07:52:16 PM  
Wait. Am I the only that can understand why DC Metro wouldn't want an old man planting and tending to flowers on a steep, almost vertical incline? Also, am I the only that can understand why DC metro wouldn't want to dedicate money/workers/effort into this themselves? Maybe it's not the decision that you or I would make, but it's not this completely evil, malicious attempt to keep the man from planting flowers. The decision does have SOME merit at least. I ride the metro daily, so I know it's not the best (though I plan around it being terrible), but damn people, do we have to rage against every bureaucracy without perspective?
 
2013-07-07 07:55:48 PM  

DayeOfJustice: Wait. Am I the only that can understand why DC Metro wouldn't want an old man planting and tending to flowers on a steep, almost vertical incline? Also, am I the only that can understand why DC metro wouldn't want to dedicate money/workers/effort into this themselves? Maybe it's not the decision that you or I would make, but it's not this completely evil, malicious attempt to keep the man from planting flowers. The decision does have SOME merit at least. I ride the metro daily, so I know it's not the best (though I plan around it being terrible), but damn people, do we have to rage against every bureaucracy without perspective?


Depends.  If they do nothing, and let the guy sow and tend plants without expressly forbidding him, does that imply consent?  Can he sue?  I'd bet they're afraid of implying consent and bad press if anything happened.

If not, then option #2 is still The Big Blue Meanie.
 
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