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(Slate)   Candy Crush saga is the worst thing ever   (slate.com) divider line 262
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22931 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 4:00 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-07 04:58:54 PM
i.qkme.me
 
2013-07-07 05:00:41 PM

jst3p: I never played Bejeweled, are the mechanics identical?


The game's pretty much the same, but after about five seconds playing Candy Crush I realized how wayyy inferior the actual mechanics (gameplay smoothness) are to Bejeweled.  In Bejeweled, if you're quick, you can complete a second grouping (3, 4, or 5) before your first one is even done "vaporizing" or whatever.  There are also a lot of fun elite-style moves Bejeweled's slippery mechanics allow.  Meanwhile Candy Crush feel very stiff & slow.

C'mon... Popcap's been at it TEN YEARS perfecting this game engine.  It's very slick & they (mostly) deserve my occasional coin money.  I've been playing it for five years now, maybe a couple of times per week.  My wife and I both get well over a million almost every time we use a "Spacial Gem!"
 
2013-07-07 05:01:41 PM
I came in here for Ashley Judd in ST:TNG pics.  Leffler's Law #151: Fark will disappoint you.
 
2013-07-07 05:02:04 PM

bmr68: The real challenge is not to spend a dime playing the game. I'm up to 66 with casual play over a month. No money spent.


Yeah Iplunked down $2 to get past one level, simply because all I needed was one jelly gone.  I refuse to waste away any more of the family budget on it, though.
 
2013-07-07 05:02:11 PM
Last night I was tending to my orbits in Kerbal space program. I'm wondering if I need a joystick.
 
2013-07-07 05:02:40 PM

Fiction Fan: It's Bejeweled meets Tetris, a veritable speedball of a puzzle game.

No. It's just Bejeweled.


I see your Bejeweled and raise you

[img266.imageshack.us image 600x398]


my mom plays that game. alot. so i got her a starter package for her birthday. other than that i don't care to spend money on facebook games. however i do have an addiction to bloons tower defense.
 
2013-07-07 05:02:55 PM
As soon as it tried to make me wait a half hour to play again, I told the game to fark itself and uninstalled it. Very peculiar, a man telling a game to fark itself.
 
2013-07-07 05:02:55 PM
Hungry Shark - fun time waster and an occasional angry birds star wars or space are fun. But would never pay a dime for any game on my phone.
 
2013-07-07 05:03:17 PM
Funny how you people bring up Popcap like they're above doing something like, oh, say, a slot machine game.
 
2013-07-07 05:03:56 PM

Gosling: Penny Arcade put forward the theory that this is, in fact, the revival of the arcade. Play an assortment of quick games for a short time each, there are high scores to beat (and who even does high scores anymore on the console titles?), and if you want to play more, well, put your coin down.


The difference is that those games all competed in the same ecosystem and, by exposing players to a consistently high level of quality, not just educated the players about the game, but kept the barrier of developer entry high.  And yes, arcade games have had claw games and ticket redemption games to subsidize the "hardcore" stuff, and yes, not all arcade smash hits have been good games (See: Mortal Kombat).  Whereas in a market where there is no barrier of entry and the ecosystem is wide open, you end up with everyone trying to court a massive and uneducated audience of video game players that can be milked well beyond the price of a typical game experience.  The philosophy of development (both arcades and browser games featuring endless score-hunting games) is to some degree similar, but the distribution model (and the effects of the distribution model) is the exact opposite.
 
2013-07-07 05:05:45 PM
This is why if I need games to pass the time, I just pull down roms for the NES or Atari (or even SNES/Genesis). I get to play all the games I want from growing up as well as many that I missed. No cost and the libraries are huge. Sure some games are tough to play on a touch screen but you can find something way more fun then the casual stuff out there today.

And if I want games for my PC, there's always gog.com. Again, hundreds of titles I missed as well as some great indie titles.
 
2013-07-07 05:06:06 PM
media.avclub.com

Riker just got a 5-match combo.

I've managed to get to level 133 thus far without spending a dime.  You just have to play when it's convenient and not give in to their adverts.  You'll get a winnable board eventually.
 
2013-07-07 05:06:41 PM

airsupport: I thought Wreck-It Ralph was wonderful.


I did too, i was expecting a schlocky exercise in false nostalgia, but i was pleasantly surprised by it.


ladyfortuna: Give your money to Popcap. They're a GOOD, respectable game company, and they will use it to create more awesome games. Pass this knowledge on to your friends and family, and if they refuse to listen, I'll help you hide the body.


I want to give money to Popcap, when is PvZ2 coming out*!?

/*for PC
 
2013-07-07 05:08:07 PM

ByOwlLight: I am so baffled as to why replacing jewels with candies has made people go apeshiat.


Angry Birds is just Crush the Castle, same thing.
 
2013-07-07 05:08:58 PM
You don't have to put money into it, candy crush will let you pass the level you are stuck on eventually.
 
2013-07-07 05:09:15 PM
Candy Crush is a cold-war psychological experiment somehow loosed upon the modern world. I'm convinced it was contrived to test human's reactions to scenarios/problems where no amount of effort, planning, or intelligence would produce results, and any progress made was simply due to fate and chance.
 
2013-07-07 05:10:29 PM
I can't get past 65 but I refuse to purchase help or something. I spend all five lives when I wake up trying to win, then usually around lunch remember to try again. Then, when I am trying to fall asleep, I waste 10 minutes trying to beat the damn level
Stuck on level 65 for 4/5 days now.
 
2013-07-07 05:11:41 PM
I don't understand the hate myself. I think I'm on 165 and the only specials I've used were their free ones. you don't have to pay anything.

But a +1 to the colorblind comment. the shapes helped, until the bombs came ::shudder:: I've lost more than a few times thanks to that.
 
2013-07-07 05:13:19 PM
Finally, I have no idea what is going on concerning a game. It feels weird.
 
2013-07-07 05:13:21 PM

Fiction Fan: From the article: "... estimates that the game brings in $633,000 a day... for its creator..."  PER DAY! What? And to think, I and countless Americans cannot even pay our student loan payments.

Duh. Where do you think the money goes when the students get it?


/must....make...one...more....lev-el......

//flunked out of SQL class because of Zynga's 'Empires and Allies'


I beleive this is part of the human condition.
When I was in college, an old timer mentioned that he almost flunked out because of PONG.

apparenly, a certain segment of the population will focus on a task and do nothing else.
Thats probably why mohammed took a dump on chess like games.   Im sure people would go find gaming centers then and play and play and play and not do any work.  Then you add in playing for money...etc.
 
2013-07-07 05:15:28 PM

Moonfisher: I've managed to get to level 133 thus far without spending a dime.  You just have to play when it's convenient and not give in to their adverts.  You'll get a winnable board eventually.


288 here, and the same, haven't spent anything. Although I've damn near given it up at least a dozen times when stuck on a particular board, seriously asking myself why I was even bothering with the game any longer.

My "favorite" one: Don't recall the number, but it was a simple jelly clear that was dead simple to finish, but with a very high score requirement, in the neighborhood of 100k I believe. On the 50 turn board I once cleared the board in 15 moves, and 35 gummie fish were not enough to get me above 100k.

Then I read some comments on a Youtube video that said the Facebook version changed the way fish work, making them worth only 2000 points, but the iPhone app still gave you 3000 points for fish. Sure enough, I beat it on like the second try. I had seriously 2 weeks on that board easy.
 
2013-07-07 05:16:23 PM

MagSeven: As soon as it tried to make me wait a half hour to play again, I told the game to fark itself and uninstalled it. Very peculiar, a man telling a game to fark itself.


i1.ytimg.com
peculiar you say?
 
2013-07-07 05:18:24 PM

bratch: ByOwlLight: I am so baffled as to why replacing jewels with candies has made people go apeshiat.

Angry Birds is just Crush the Castle, same thing.


Thats the thing, ive played Crush the Castle, Angry Birds has a level of polish compared to it. Cute (merchandisable) characters, smooth gameplay, catchy music.

I mean, if you cant see the broader appeal of this.
i.imgur.com

Compared to this...
i.imgur.com


By all accounts, Candy Crush is sorta shiat compared to Bejeweled.

Parallax: jst3p: I never played Bejeweled, are the mechanics identical?

The game's pretty much the same, but after about five seconds playing Candy Crush I realized how wayyy inferior the actual mechanics (gameplay smoothness) are to Bejeweled.  In Bejeweled, if you're quick, you can complete a second grouping (3, 4, or 5) before your first one is even done "vaporizing" or whatever.  There are also a lot of fun elite-style moves Bejeweled's slippery mechanics allow.  Meanwhile Candy Crush feel very stiff & slow.

C'mon... Popcap's been at it TEN YEARS perfecting this game engine.  It's very slick & they (mostly) deserve my occasional coin money.  I've been playing it for five years now, maybe a couple of times per week.  My wife and I both get well over a million almost every time we use a "Spacial Gem!"

 
2013-07-07 05:18:25 PM

bulldg4life: I can't get past 65 but I refuse to purchase help or something. I spend all five lives when I wake up trying to win, then usually around lunch remember to try again. Then, when I am trying to fall asleep, I waste 10 minutes trying to beat the damn level
Stuck on level 65 for 4/5 days now.


65 I think is the first "fark this shiat" level. Like all boards you just have to get lucky, but the key on this one is to get either wrapped/striped matches, or striped/chocolate covered candy matches.
 
2013-07-07 05:22:14 PM
I understand the 'fun' in casual games, the author loses me on the whole addiction thing.  When I start sucking at some game, I shut it down and go outside. I mean really, how do people get addicted to this nonsense?
 
2013-07-07 05:23:06 PM

skozlaw: Candy Crush Saga: a Bejeweled rip-off for people who are too stupid to just play Bejeweled.

Between the Wii and smartphones I'm sorry to see the death of gaming come at the hands of overweight, forty-year old dipshiats.


Um...obvious irony is obvious. Also: When did you turn 40 fat boy?
 
kab
2013-07-07 05:25:29 PM

Gosling: Penny Arcade put forward the theory that this is, in fact, the revival of the arcade. Play an assortment of quick games for a short time each, there are high scores to beat (and who even does high scores anymore on the console titles?), and if you want to play more, well, put your coin down.


I back the theory that consoles manufacturers see this as the primary goal, essentially making gamers pay based on time spent rather than outright ownership of the game.   It's a matter of taking the market - accepted baby steps required towards such a thing (and yes, dlc certainly is one of those steps).

Allowing you to buy a $60 game that might offer thousands of hours of gameplay is probably viewed as a monetary loss, from some twisted angle.
 
2013-07-07 05:25:51 PM

Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.


For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.
 
Oak
2013-07-07 05:28:15 PM
The only way to win ... is not to pay.
 
2013-07-07 05:29:38 PM

Mike_LowELL: Enjoy having people who have minimal comprehension of video games tell you how you are wrong, and how "opinions are like assholes".


It is what it is, I suppose. The lowest common denominator will always win, given enough time. I can't fault game makers for going where the money is since it's a business, not an art form.

ArcadianRefugee: This is rich. It's the 40-somethings -- the ones who pretty much invented the concept of video-gaming* -- who are killing video-gaming.


No, it's the ones who wanted nothing to do with video games back when we were inventing them that are defining the concept today. They realized all their big dreams are just so much pap and now they need something to do between yelling at their stupid kids and getting tipsy on wine coolers at 3 in the afternoon so those of us who think a game should be something more than a way to occupy your fingers until you move on to the remote are left with nothing.

/ where's my next Baldur's Gate/PS:T installment?
// people who enjoy Candy Crush Saga are brainless retards
 
2013-07-07 05:31:48 PM
Yet another thing that is the death of gaming. We're up to what? About 20000 things that "omfg are totally ruining gaming!" I think. Good thing part time trolls/full time idiots are here to tell us plebs why what you find fun isn't actually fun and is totally killing the industry.

/you think it's fun? Play it, screw the idiots telling you you're destroying the industry
//don't think it's fun or convinced it's destroying gaming and ruining the chance for your totally sweet indie game to sell millions of copies? Don't farking play it
///I don't play this game
////playing the hell out of some knights of pen and paper though
 
2013-07-07 05:41:37 PM
I've spent $1-2 on candy crush back when I first started over a year ago when there wasn't anyone available to send me tickets. Sadly, I've spent much more on Tapped Out.
 
2013-07-07 05:44:43 PM
I am still trying to get past a certain level on Zelda on the Nintendo.

I do not play games often.
 
2013-07-07 05:44:54 PM

js34603: Yet another thing that is the death of gaming. We're up to what? About 20000 things that "omfg are totally ruining gaming!" I think. Good thing part time trolls/full time idiots are here to tell us plebs why what you find fun isn't actually fun and is totally killing the industry.

/you think it's fun? Play it, screw the idiots telling you you're destroying the industry
//don't think it's fun or convinced it's destroying gaming and ruining the chance for your totally sweet indie game to sell millions of copies? Don't farking play it
///I don't play this game
////playing the hell out of some knights of pen and paper though


I can't agree enough with this. If anyone is "ruining" gaming it's the self described hardcore gamers that want to dictate what everyone else plays.

"Oh you mean if I want to play video games I have to adopt this assholes attitude? Yeah, no thanks."
 
2013-07-07 05:47:45 PM

Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.


If you're worried about BL2 "coming with" guns, you're doing it wrong.

They won't be at the level cap, and they'll... no.  That's not how the game works.  Ow.
 
2013-07-07 05:49:18 PM

Cyno01: ladyfortuna: Give your money to Popcap. They're a GOOD, respectable game company, and they will use it to create more awesome games. Pass this knowledge on to your friends and family, and if they refuse to listen, I'll help you hide the body.

I want to give money to Popcap, when is PvZ2 coming out*!?

/*for PC


Hate to burst your jewel, but Popcap got bought out by EA a couple of years ago. Used to work with one of their founders.  He's a very rich man now.
 
2013-07-07 05:51:46 PM
It doesn't take very long to realize that it takes zero skill, none whatsoever, to beat upper levels. It's 100% luck of the draw with how the pieces fall. Not even 99% luck...it's 100% luck. And once that gets in your head, it's very easy to get burned out. I spent $0.99 on it unlocking more of the game at the first "gate" before I just sat and waited on my friends to give me tickets.

I made it to somewhere around level 140 before I just said F- it. I'm sick of those stupid F-ing bombs, those stupid regenerating chocolates, those stupid jellies, those stupid black twirled things that block clearing a level. I'm sick of that stupid game. At least I never spent more than a dollar on it...
 
2013-07-07 05:55:44 PM
Games I've been addicted to for no apparent reason:

Yahoo insanity: Hearts, Graffiti, Literati. Free Arcade Craziness: Bejeweled, Gem Drop, Same Color, Text Twist - and when I really wanted to get Jiggy with it - Gem Jam. My only Zynga waste of time was the year I spent playing Mafia Wars. My only saving grace is that I never spent money on it, but dear God, what a waste of time.

I got out of Angry Birds alive and I refuse to go near Candy Crush Saga.

I didn't have the decency to get addicted to anything really trendy or good. Just weird games that I played mindlessly for hours. Bizarre. I have no idea why I'm just glad it's over.
 
2013-07-07 05:59:05 PM

skozlaw: No, it's the ones who wanted nothing to do with video games back when we were inventing them that are defining the concept today.


Modern video games described in one sentence: Society wants video games to be more like television: Passive, brainless, minimal interactivity.

js34603: /you think it's fun? Play it, screw the idiots telling you you're destroying the industry


That's perfectly fine.  But don't tell people the game is "good", and be open to other opinions when more knowledgeable players say it is "bad".All I see are uninformed video game players making judgment calls on the quality of a game, and then when confronted on that misinformed opinion, lashing out in order to defend their emotional, financial, and time investment in the game(s).
 
2013-07-07 06:00:24 PM

Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.


Dafatone: Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.

If you're worried about BL2 "coming with" guns, you're doing it wrong.

They won't be at the level cap, and they'll... no.  That's not how the game works.  Ow.


I was mistaken, idk what i was thinking because ive played a lot of the first one, theres the aditional classes, a few smaller DLCs that dont come with the season pass and everything else is just skins, no weapons.
i.imgur.com
As for why... Im OCD and willing to wait for the complete game.
 
2013-07-07 06:03:06 PM

js34603: Yet another thing that is the death of gaming. We're up to what? About 20000 things that "omfg are totally ruining gaming!" I think. Good thing part time trolls/full time idiots are here to tell us plebs why what you find fun isn't actually fun and is totally killing the industry.

/you think it's fun? Play it, screw the idiots telling you you're destroying the industry
//don't think it's fun or convinced it's destroying gaming and ruining the chance for your totally sweet indie game to sell millions of copies? Don't farking play it
///I don't play this game
////playing the hell out of some knights of pen and paper though


This.
Facebook games are top 40 music.
 
2013-07-07 06:08:17 PM

MightyPez: js34603: Yet another thing that is the death of gaming. We're up to what? About 20000 things that "omfg are totally ruining gaming!" I think. Good thing part time trolls/full time idiots are here to tell us plebs why what you find fun isn't actually fun and is totally killing the industry.

/you think it's fun? Play it, screw the idiots telling you you're destroying the industry
//don't think it's fun or convinced it's destroying gaming and ruining the chance for your totally sweet indie game to sell millions of copies? Don't farking play it
///I don't play this game
////playing the hell out of some knights of pen and paper though

I can't agree enough with this. If anyone is "ruining" gaming it's the self described hardcore gamers that want to dictate what everyone else plays.

"Oh you mean if I want to play video games I have to adopt this assholes attitude? Yeah, no thanks."


The problem here is not the game (which is just another Bejeweled clone, Bejeweled itself being a clone of another game), it's people spending money to play it when you don't ever have to part ways with your wallet. It encourages developers/publishers to put paywalls up in their games, because that's what makes money. You're not paying for anything; you're literally paying for nothing, for no work on the part of the developer or publisher or content creator. I'm not sure why anyone would want that. Especially ridiculous in this case, considering there are dozens and dozens of Bejeweled clones (including Bejeweled itself) on the market, most of which aren't quite as egregious in their money-grabbing shenanigans.

Or, to put it another way: I don't give a flying fark about what you play; I do have a problem with encouraging consumer-unfriendly practices.
 
2013-07-07 06:08:18 PM
I find my fun little games on Kongregate (for free.)
 
2013-07-07 06:09:08 PM

Pichu0102: Pichu0102: This is the garbage that ads on every site keep force opening the App Store without me doing anything.

Fark them.

To add more, even on sites like right here, by the time you manage to get the page loaded without it hijacking you and sending you to the App Store, the ad is different.

A pox on whoever coded that POS ad.


Seriously, Candy Crush was the first (and so far, only) pop-up ad that would hijack and lock the system of my mobile device.
 
2013-07-07 06:10:17 PM

Cyno01: Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.

Dafatone: Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.

If you're worried about BL2 "coming with" guns, you're doing it wrong.

They won't be at the level cap, and they'll... no.  That's not how the game works.  Ow.

I was mistaken, idk what i was thinking because ive played a lot of the first one, theres the aditional classes, a few smaller DLCs that dont come with the season pass and everything else is just skins, no weapons.
[i.imgur.com image 850x514]
As for why... Im OCD and willing to wait for the complete game.


There's one class and one tiny DLC that don't come with the season pass.  Kind of lame.  I don't have either.
 
2013-07-07 06:11:30 PM

hawcian: The problem here is not the game (which is just another Bejeweled clone, Bejeweled itself being a clone of another game), it's people spending money to play it when you don't ever have to part ways with your wallet. It encourages developers/publishers to put paywalls up in their games, because that's what makes money. You're not paying for anything; you're literally paying for nothing, for no work on the part of the developer or publisher or content creator. I'm not sure why anyone would want that. Especially ridiculous in this case, considering there are dozens and dozens of Bejeweled clones (including Bejeweled itself) on the market, most of which aren't quite as egregious in their money-grabbing shenanigans.

Or, to put it another way: I don't give a flying fark about what you play; I do have a problem with encouraging consumer-unfriendly practices.


How is that a problem? If people want to pay money, it's their choice. God forbid developers make money on their product. I just don't see how having people pay for a product  as an option is consumer unfriendly.
 
2013-07-07 06:13:38 PM
vinteeage.com
Yeah! Us old school gamers would never sink to such a seedy business practice. We were pure back then.
/places quarter under screen
 
2013-07-07 06:13:45 PM

Cyno01: Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.

Dafatone: Dragonflew: Cyno01:  i found out today i could get Borderlands 2 + Season Pass for $15, but im not gonna play it anytime soon and it still doesnt come with the 30 or so character and skin and weapons packs, so im just gonna wait for the GotY edition down the road sometime.

For any of you wondering where to get BL2 for that price, check out greenmangaming.com

Regarding character skins... I never understood the point in a first-person game.  As for weapons, there are endless amounts of them you can find, you don't need packs.

If you're worried about BL2 "coming with" guns, you're doing it wrong.

They won't be at the level cap, and they'll... no.  That's not how the game works.  Ow.

I was mistaken, idk what i was thinking because ive played a lot of the first one, theres the aditional classes, a few smaller DLCs that dont come with the season pass and everything else is just skins, no weapons.
[i.imgur.com image 850x514]
As for why... Im OCD and willing to wait for the complete game.


Wow. that image just guaranteed I will never buy another product from gearbox/2k.
 
2013-07-07 06:16:34 PM

MightyPez: How is that a problem? If people want to pay money, it's their choice. God forbid developers make money on their product. I just don't see how having people pay for a product as an option is consumer unfriendly.


The free market breaks down at the point where you say it's okay for the consumer to make uneducated choices, and that people are being nuisances by providing educated opinions on the topic.
 
2013-07-07 06:16:40 PM

Moonfisher: [media.avclub.com image 627x352]

Riker just got a 5-match combo.


Damn Google Glass.
 
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