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(Telegraph)   The Catholic Church has solved the age old question....Is the Hulk Catholic?   (telegraph.co.uk) divider line 138
    More: Stupid, Catholics, Hulk Catholic, Catholic Church, Hulk, Vatican, religions and spiritual traditions, L'Osservatore Romano  
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7918 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 4:05 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-07 11:25:58 AM
encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-07 11:28:30 AM
1. I remember plenty of references to Ben Grimm's Jewishness before 2002.

2. Why do they need to study this? They can just ASK the comic book companies. They maintain " character bibles" regarding every character's eye color, hair color, height, weight, religion, prominent features, hair style, clothing style, stance, speech patterns, etc.. Marvel could just look it up and say, "Oh, yes. Bruce Banner is Catholic."

3. Banner may be Catholic, but the Hulk ain't. The Hulk is agnostic; He does not care about gods unless they're pissing him off and he needs to beat the shiat out of them. If I had to coin a term to describe his relationship with gods, I'd call him "aggrotheist."

4. Peter Parker's religion has always been a sticking point for me. Most of the time, he comes off as purely science-driven and agnostic, but every once in a while a writer will insert some religious references. This guy has met gods and cosmic beings. He has BEEN a cosmic being. He's friends with Thor! When his Aunt May was dying he (uncharacteristically) gained help from a demon  (Not "The Devil", though; Mephisto is just a powerful being from another plane of existence; Not Satan. Marvel's Satan is someone else, and he has kids.)  Why would he maintain any faith after all this? Why would he still believe there's a God (Jehovah) out there that trumps all the cosmic beings, gods, demons, devils, and other powerful creatures he has met in his lifetime?

I can understand the Thing sticking with his Judaism; He's not a scientist. He wouldn't analyze it like they do. I can understand Captain America still believing in God; He's not convinced that the people he knows as gods are actually gods, and considers them superhumans just like he is (and he certainly doesn't think of himself as a god.)

But Parker? I can't understand why he wouldn't be a total agnostic or atheist considering his scientific background, his personal experiences, and the fact that he actually had an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient being (The Beyonder) staying with him in his Chelsea apartment, and taught him how to poop.

/Spider-Man taught god how to poop.
//Yes, that was my whole point.

i3.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 11:31:11 AM
(Although in retrospect, if He were omniscient He wouldn't need Spider-Man to tell him anything... so bad writing, there.)
 
2013-07-07 11:38:35 AM
Hmmm... fictional characters who believe in fictional characters.  Interesting.

/amidoingitright?
 
2013-07-07 11:41:02 AM
Forgive me Father, for I have SMASHED!
 
2013-07-07 11:59:22 AM

FirstNationalBastard: And that's why The Thing's rocky schmekle is chipped.


That right there is gold!
 
2013-07-07 12:01:33 PM

mbillips: Pretty sure Thor is a Norse pagan, on the receiving end.


Actually, Those Who Sit Above in Shadow are the gods of the Asgardians: http://marvel.com/universe/Those_Who_Sit_Above_In_Shadow

/my nerd dick is bigger than any of y'all's!
 
2013-07-07 12:07:58 PM

durbnpoisn: //I put way too much work into that animation.


Worth it, though. Well done.
 
2013-07-07 12:17:46 PM

Alphax: Devolving_Spud: If Hulk were a Branch Davidian, that whole thing would have turned out differently.

I've heard there's still Branch Davidians out there, who expect David Koresh to return from the dead.


There might be, but if so, it's not the only faith with that name. The Branch Davidians split off from the Seventh-Day Adventists about 80 years ago. David Koresh (who wasn't called this at the time) got kicked out of the Seventh-Day Adventists about 30 years ago, and he then joined the Branch Davidians. Then he changed his name and split off from them, though his group also called themselves Branch Davidians. The faith he split off from still exists, and still calls themselves the Branch Davidians, but their opinion of him is not high.

There could also be a remnant of Koresh's group. I don't know.

/not a Branch Davidian by either definition
 
2013-07-07 12:19:27 PM
I'm pretty sure that the Comedian from Watchmen was a lapsed Catholic.
 
2013-07-07 12:24:54 PM

TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

/never seen one

I know a few. They're good people; you don't hear about them because they're not up in your face telling you so.


While I know a few "nice catholics" they're really not "real" catholics, they completely go against the church on a HUGE number of issues. The "real catholics that I know are just as much a bunch of self-righteous pricks as fundamentalist southern baptists. They are uptight, judgmental and have some of the weirdest beliefs of any religious group I know and I say that as someone who was raised catholic.
 
2013-07-07 12:36:59 PM

ZeroCorpse: 1. I remember plenty of references to Ben Grimm's Jewishness before 2002.

2. Why do they need to study this? They can just ASK the comic book companies. They maintain " character bibles" regarding every character's eye color, hair color, height, weight, religion, prominent features, hair style, clothing style, stance, speech patterns, etc.. Marvel could just look it up and say, "Oh, yes. Bruce Banner is Catholic."

3. Banner may be Catholic, but the Hulk ain't. The Hulk is agnostic; He does not care about gods unless they're pissing him off and he needs to beat the shiat out of them. If I had to coin a term to describe his relationship with gods, I'd call him "aggrotheist."

4. Peter Parker's religion has always been a sticking point for me. Most of the time, he comes off as purely science-driven and agnostic, but every once in a while a writer will insert some religious references. This guy has met gods and cosmic beings. He has BEEN a cosmic being. He's friends with Thor! When his Aunt May was dying he (uncharacteristically) gained help from a demon  (Not "The Devil", though; Mephisto is just a powerful being from another plane of existence; Not Satan. Marvel's Satan is someone else, and he has kids.)  Why would he maintain any faith after all this? Why would he still believe there's a God (Jehovah) out there that trumps all the cosmic beings, gods, demons, devils, and other powerful creatures he has met in his lifetime?

I can understand the Thing sticking with his Judaism; He's not a scientist. He wouldn't analyze it like they do. I can understand Captain America still believing in God; He's not convinced that the people he knows as gods are actually gods, and considers them superhumans just like he is (and he certainly doesn't think of himself as a god.)

But Parker? I can't understand why he wouldn't be a total agnostic or atheist considering his scientific background, his personal experiences, and the fact that he actually had an omnipotent, omnipresent, omn ...


That was one of the more surreal two pages of comics that I've ever read.
 
2013-07-07 01:05:53 PM
Of course the Hulk would be Catholic.

You think anyone would willingly circumcise that guy?
 
2013-07-07 01:07:45 PM
Original sin presumes the common ancestry with Adam and Eve.   Of course, people don't know where Abel and Seth's wives came from in the bible so perhaps there was some extraterrestrial involvement (as opposed to the Science Made Stupid theory of them evolving...)


I always thought the Bible was pretty screwed up.
I mean, if you go by Adam and Eve, we are all the product of incest.
 
2013-07-07 01:08:25 PM
There could also be a remnant of Koresh's group. I don't know.


Check the crematoriums.


/too soon?
 
2013-07-07 01:09:11 PM
ts1.mm.bing.netts2.mm.bing.net
2 Godly asses kicked.
 
2013-07-07 01:16:59 PM
well the Hulk's eaten a lot of people.  Jesus probably included.

so yes he's probably a Catholic
 
2013-07-07 01:27:59 PM

MooseUpNorth: durbnpoisn: //I put way too much work into that animation.

Worth it, though. Well done.


Hehe... Thanks.  It made me chuckle.  That was the only reason I did it to start with.
 
2013-07-07 01:44:57 PM

ReverendJimBobHammer: While I know a few "nice catholics" they're really not "real" catholics, they completely go against the church on a HUGE number of issues.


I'd argue that the church goes against the catholics on a huge number of issues, but that's just me.
 
2013-07-07 01:59:36 PM

Copper Spork: brimed03: Why the Stupid tag?  Catholics aren't allowed to have fun?

You might hope the Vatican would be more concerned with this week's scandals than comic books.


On the other hand, the Vatican, instead of saying utterly pants-on-head retarded shiat about gay marriage, abortion, other religions, or molesting little boys, said something mildly amusing about comics. I think we can all agree this was probably the best option.
 
2013-07-07 02:25:30 PM
This is dumb. In comic books, having a priest with the frock and collar is a convenient visual shorthand for priest. Same thing with the rosary.

If the characters are as their creators intended (and most of the creators were Jewish), then a lot of them would be Jewish. Superman was a Moses allegory way before he was co-opted as a Christ allegory.
 
2013-07-07 02:27:04 PM

BarkingUnicorn: phrawgh: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

...

Jesus said one need only believe in his Redemption and keep two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40) in order to gain life everlasting.  Everything else is man's bullshiat; the rituals of a fraternity, not the keys to salvation.


That's not really what I see when I read Matthew 22:37-40.  I get more of a "all the other Commandments are derivative of these two" message from it.
 
2013-07-07 02:41:10 PM
HULK GENUFLECT!!!
 
2013-07-07 02:48:08 PM

ZeroCorpse: But Parker? I can't understand why he wouldn't be a total agnostic or atheist considering his scientific background, his personal experiences, and the fact that he actually had an omnipotent, omnipresent, omniscient being (The Beyonder) staying with him in his Chelsea apartment, and taught him how to poop.


He's met people who claimed to be gods and had the power to back that claim up. What's strange about him finding one of these -or even more- to be worth following? Or maybe even one that he hadn't yet met?
 
2013-07-07 03:08:52 PM
Well he was terribly abused as a child, so it's highly possible.
 
2013-07-07 03:59:46 PM

flak attack: BarkingUnicorn: phrawgh: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

...

Jesus said one need only believe in his Redemption and keep two commandments (Matthew 22:37-40) in order to gain life everlasting.  Everything else is man's bullshiat; the rituals of a fraternity, not the keys to salvation.

That's not really what I see when I read Matthew 22:37-40.  I get more of a "all the other Commandments are derivative of these two" message from it.


Oh, all right... try Matthew 19:16-19

16 And, behold, one came and said to him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?

17 And he said to him, Why call you me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if you will enter into life, keep the commandments.

18 He said to him, Which? Jesus said, You shall do no murder, You shall not commit adultery, You shall not steal, You shall not bear false witness,

19 Honor your father and your mother: and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.

That's only six commandments, and the first five follow from the sixth.  The sixth is one of the two in Matthew 22:37-40.  The other one is to love God, and that's kind of a gimme if your plan is to spend eternity with him.

That simple formula was enough to gain eternal life.  But it was too simple for the inquirer, who asked what else he should do.  And that's how all the add-on crap got started.

20 The young man said to him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?

21 Jesus said to him, If you will be perfect, go and sell that you have, and give to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

22  When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.

Moral:  be satisfied with simple answers. The more complexity you demand, the more it's gonna cost you.
 
2013-07-07 04:01:38 PM

TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

/never seen one

I know a few. They're good people; you don't hear about them because they're not up in your face telling you so.

I'll reserve doubt on the "good people" description. I just can't see how they could follow the "Good Book" and not be in prison.

Besides, I also can't reconcile anyone who supports the Catholic church and it's doctrines as being "good people," though I'm sure they think they are. That's a lot of pain, death and misery (past, present and future) on one's hands.

The Catholic Church has done some pretty awful things but it isn't fair to blame current practitioners on its past moral failures - nor to blame all Catholics for the recent sins of the Church leadership.

In any event, you'll have to take my word for it that they're good people and also practicing Catholics. I'm not interested in arguing the point with someone who dislikes my friends simply for their faith.


Always tricky to make arguments that can be shot down merely by replacing one word ("Catholics") with another ("Neo-Nazis").  You didn't quite pull it off.
 
2013-07-07 04:12:30 PM
is Jesus hispanic
of course he is
 
2013-07-07 04:16:18 PM

Man On Pink Corner: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

/never seen one

I know a few. They're good people; you don't hear about them because they're not up in your face telling you so.

I'll reserve doubt on the "good people" description. I just can't see how they could follow the "Good Book" and not be in prison.

Besides, I also can't reconcile anyone who supports the Catholic church and it's doctrines as being "good people," though I'm sure they think they are. That's a lot of pain, death and misery (past, present and future) on one's hands.

The Catholic Church has done some pretty awful things but it isn't fair to blame current practitioners on its past moral failures - nor to blame all Catholics for the recent sins of the Church leadership.

In any event, you'll have to take my word for it that they're good people and also practicing Catholics. I'm not interested in arguing the point with someone who dislikes my friends simply for their faith.

Always tricky to make arguments that can be shot down merely by replacing one word ("Catholics") with another ("Neo-Nazis").  You didn't quite pull it off.


Oh, piss off!  You don't win an argument by replacing apples with oranges. :P
 
2013-07-07 04:36:00 PM

Man On Pink Corner: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: TFerWannaBe: phrawgh: Are there any Catholics that are actually Catholic?

/never seen one

I know a few. They're good people; you don't hear about them because they're not up in your face telling you so.

I'll reserve doubt on the "good people" description. I just can't see how they could follow the "Good Book" and not be in prison.

Besides, I also can't reconcile anyone who supports the Catholic church and it's doctrines as being "good people," though I'm sure they think they are. That's a lot of pain, death and misery (past, present and future) on one's hands.

The Catholic Church has done some pretty awful things but it isn't fair to blame current practitioners on its past moral failures - nor to blame all Catholics for the recent sins of the Church leadership.

In any event, you'll have to take my word for it that they're good people and also practicing Catholics. I'm not interested in arguing the point with someone who dislikes my friends simply for their faith.

Always tricky to make arguments that can be shot down merely by replacing one word ("Catholics") with another ("Neo-Nazis").  You didn't quite pull it off.


You don't find anything worthwhile at all in Catholic policy, doctrine or teachings?
 
2013-07-07 04:46:04 PM
i.imgur.com

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.
 
2013-07-07 04:49:51 PM

cman: Loneman1: cman: Yes the Hulk is Catholic.

Remember when Andre ripped Hulk's shirt off? He had a cross underneath his shirt that cut is chest wide open.

Well played!

I can't believe it took someone that long to figure it out. Its not like it is obscure when you mention the names of Andre and Hulk in the same sentence.


True statement!
 
2013-07-07 05:50:04 PM

weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 256x294]

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.


"Do you affirm that the testimony you are about to give is true?" would be acceptable in any court in the USA. The whole "so help me, God" schtick is not mandatory in any US court, Federal, state, or other polity, and hasn't been for a while.
 
2013-07-07 08:41:56 PM

TFerWannaBe: You don't find anything worthwhile at all in Catholic policy, doctrine or teachings?


Nothing that isn't available elsewhere without all the intellectual and social baggage.
 
2013-07-07 08:50:38 PM

Man On Pink Corner: Always tricky to make arguments that can be shot down merely by replacing one word ("Catholics") with another ("Neo-Nazis"). You didn't quite pull it off.


...aaaaand Godwin.
 
2013-07-07 11:09:14 PM

Millennium: Man On Pink Corner: Always tricky to make arguments that can be shot down merely by replacing one word ("Catholics") with another ("Neo-Nazis"). You didn't quite pull it off.

...aaaaand Godwin.


OK, "Satanists."  Better?
 
2013-07-08 09:58:43 AM
FirstNationalBastard:

And that's why The Thing's rocky schmekle is chipped.

[www.promoboxx.com image 344x226]


Post of the week, right there.

/some of my best friends are granitic Hebrews.
 
2013-07-08 10:10:00 AM

Silly_Sot: weltallica: [i.imgur.com image 256x294]

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.

Only Americans would dare.

"Do you affirm that the testimony you are about to give is true?" would be acceptable in any court in the USA. The whole "so help me, God" schtick is not mandatory in any US court, Federal, state, or other polity, and hasn't been for a while.


Comic-book logic to one side for a moment, it's arguable that the U.S. has become more overtly religious since its founding and ready to mix in a little State with whatever generic Church happens to be in play:

Like so much discussed in Farkland, the answer involves putting your hand in your pocket. Clearly, the eventual and extremely bloody Union victory in the Civil War was due to the angry sky beardy and not guys like Grant and Sherman.
 
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