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(The Raw Story)   Pastor Hipster Guy Fieri urges destruction of computers after witnessing the effects of pornography firsthand, other hand   (rawstory.com) divider line 69
    More: Stupid, porn addiction, computers  
•       •       •

22809 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 12:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-06 11:46:52 PM
49 votes:
fta I believe as many as 80 percent of men in the church are struggling with viewing pornography.

Yeah, I remember dial-up
2013-07-07 12:27:57 AM
18 votes:
i291.photobucket.com
2013-07-07 12:51:39 AM
17 votes:
Tonight we're rollin' on downloads, dildo's and dongs.

i105.photobucket.com
2013-07-06 11:53:17 PM
16 votes:
members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?
2013-07-06 11:41:06 PM
15 votes:
And why the hell would I want to be "porn free?"

/wasn't that a movie about a lion?
2013-07-06 11:58:46 PM
13 votes:
...destroy their porn stashes

He wants to get Ron Jeremy to shave?

Not gonna happen.
2013-07-06 11:36:11 PM
11 votes:
You may even need to destroy your present computer. I realize that can be an expensive move, but it may be necessary if you are serious about living porn-free.

Does he have no idea why I even bothered to buy a computer in the first place? What does he think I do with this thing, maths?
2013-07-07 12:34:03 AM
7 votes:

ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.
2013-07-07 12:33:56 AM
7 votes:
imageshack.us
2013-07-06 11:22:29 PM
7 votes:
i39.tinypic.com
2013-07-07 12:41:57 AM
5 votes:

thisisyourbrainonFark: DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.

[www.feistees.com image 358x300]


global3.memecdn.com
2013-07-07 02:21:52 AM
4 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


oi39.tinypic.com
2013-07-07 02:17:35 AM
4 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


dl.dropboxusercontent.com
2013-07-07 01:22:39 AM
4 votes:
2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-07-07 12:35:36 AM
4 votes:

DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.


www.feistees.com
2013-07-07 12:35:20 AM
4 votes:

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


lh3.googleusercontent.com
2013-07-07 12:25:08 AM
4 votes:
Replacing my laptop won't help, the pr0n is on a 2TB NAS.
2013-07-07 02:27:20 PM
3 votes:
i105.photobucket.com
2013-07-07 12:31:38 AM
3 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?


Meh. Stash, cache.

media1.giphy.com

Splash.
2013-07-07 12:29:53 AM
3 votes:
In the name of ahura mazda and luther vandross taking a dump on grumpy cat there are so many things wrong with this thread I cannot begin.
2013-07-07 12:29:05 AM
3 votes:
HA! Andy Dick tripped into the Brundlefly transporter while KD Lang was in it... for some reason.
2013-07-07 12:26:06 AM
3 votes:
You can't simply take away someone's internet porn like that. They'll get confused. Lost. End up masturbating to pictures of kittens with amusing captions and not knowing at all why.

Why must he be so disruptive?
2013-07-07 12:19:04 AM
3 votes:

teto85: Porn should be free.  If you're paying for it in this day and age, you're doing it wrong.


People aren't paying for porn, they're paying for it to go away afterward.

That doesn't sound quite right.
2013-07-06 11:59:16 PM
3 votes:
Porn should be free.  If you're paying for it in this day and age, you're doing it wrong.
2013-07-07 03:18:31 PM
2 votes:

supayoda: He looks sexually frustrated.


I sure hope so.  The alternative is that he's sexually active, and that is just too horrifying to contemplate.
2013-07-07 01:02:52 PM
2 votes:
He's begun taking names on his website of men who pledge to destroy their porn stashes - and even their computers - to avoid the temptation.

i105.photobucket.com
What destroying a porn stash might look like.
2013-07-07 02:47:46 AM
2 votes:

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


1-media-cdn.foolz.us
2013-07-07 02:23:46 AM
2 votes:

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


I made this one just for you, Busy.


img.photobucket.com
2013-07-07 02:04:50 AM
2 votes:

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.


What about watching porn with your SO? Mutual masturbation is the bees knees.

/23 skidoo
2013-07-07 01:55:22 AM
2 votes:

Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]


Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.
2013-07-07 12:19:09 AM
2 votes:
While I agree we're becoming too much of a body culture, keep your dickbeaters off my porn.
2013-07-08 12:49:49 PM
1 votes:
Wait a sec: fundamentalist Christians should destroy their computers?

2.bp.blogspot.com
2013-07-07 06:55:12 PM
1 votes:
no wonder churches are full of women these days.  the pastor is licking their asses like a shameless dog
2013-07-07 03:49:32 PM
1 votes:

Elmo Jones: doyner: I'm thinking...a guy with your kind of mind...should have the land crab. Excellent seafood.

LOLwut?


As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.
2013-07-07 11:04:23 AM
1 votes:

TwistedFark: I need to stop fapping it to ultra dirty porn all the time. It's making it very hard for me to get sexually aroused around women who aren't into cum baths, anal fisting or don't have tits the size of zeppelins.

I've had sex with 5 different women in the last two weeks and I've actually been having trouble getting it hard enough to have sex with them unless I visualize extremely demented or degrading stuff happening to women. One girl even went so far as to go right down on me and give my balls a tongue bath and I still had a hard time popping a wood.

Now, I know it's not just garden variety impotence or whisky dick because I can easily get it up within 2 minutes of browsing the internet. I think what's happened is that I've basically desensitized myself to sex unless it's "extreme". I'm actually experimenting right now seeing if I can avoid all porn for a month or two while just railing chicks normally. It'll suck for me because the most I can probably organize is something like 3-4 times a week if I am putting on the full game (I am juggling like 8 girls at one time) and I really normally masturbate like 2 or 3 times a day. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I feel very strongly that I need to just have straight sex for a while in order to reclaim control of my erections. Either that or I wimp out and just get a Viagra prescription...


You're a twisted fark.
2013-07-07 05:47:02 AM
1 votes:
Anyone that writes a book called "Our Hardcore Battle for Wives" is up to no good.

But "Our Hardcore Battle for Wives" is a great-sounding pro wrestling stipulation match.
2013-07-07 04:17:56 AM
1 votes:

rev. dave: It is topics like this which he can be both technically right and practically wrong at the same time.
Yes, addictions are bad and you should avoid them.  But how much qualifies as an addiction?  More than zero is not an answer.

Typically as most farker's do, ignore this guy because he has an Amish attitude towards technology.


There is only one person who I have ever met that I would say was a porn addict.  I was in college, in my mid-20s living in the dorms.  I was there for about a year and a half when this kid who's name I don't even remember any more (called him Monkey because of the way he'd act when he'd get pissed) moved into the dorm to start school.  He was 18, fresh out of high school, first time away from mommy.  He and I were in similar majors.  Similar enough that I and a few of my friends had offered to help him with the basics that he was taking his first semester (we went through it, got A's, so why not help out those who need it?).  He was a bit weird to begin with.  Anyone who had offered him help with classes he avoided.  He didn't socialize with anyone.  Sometimes we wouldn't see him for days, just locked in his dorm room.

We later found out that he wasn't going to class.  One day he told me that he didn't go to class because that morning there was a light drizzle, so he assumed class was canceled.  But the night before, during a farking thunderstorm, hail and tornado watch he drove 30 miles to the porn shop to rent some movies.  His roommate explained that he visited the porn shop more than he attended class and the only sounds he ever heard coming from Monkey's computer or television was the moaning from porn movies.  No video game sounds, no television shows or regular movies, no silence either.  By mid terms he had missed enough class that he wasn't going to pass anything.  He didn't even know which professors were male or female.  The week of mid terms he was moving out.  Roommate laughed and told us about how his mother chewed him out for two hours over the porn.  She was giving him $100/week and he was spending it entirely on porn.  He never bought text books.  I bought his meal card for the semester for a $30 prepaid visa card.  That really pissed off his mother.  He also told us that she was threatening to put saltpeter in Monkey's food.  She did throw away all his porn and she actually took the computer to the third floor fire escape and threw it onto the parking lot.  She was pissed.  Five garbage bags full of DVDs and magazines.

That's probably the only person I've ever met that was a porn addict.
2013-07-07 03:56:53 AM
1 votes:
Wasn't this the basis for some crappy Kirk Cameron movie?
2013-07-07 03:12:31 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


media.tumblr.com
2013-07-07 03:09:08 AM
1 votes:

Satanic_Hamster: ReluctantPaladin:

Women are the whores that MAKE the porn.


I guess you've never heard of Corbin Fi... I've said too much.

/wat?
2013-07-07 03:01:02 AM
1 votes:
You know that this dude is jacking it, like a mental patient. Probably to something completely f*cking creepy, like dead babies in wigs.
2013-07-07 02:44:44 AM
1 votes:

cuzsis: Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.



img.photobucket.com
2013-07-07 02:25:53 AM
1 votes:

Mock26: Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

I made this one just for you, Busy.


[img.photobucket.com image 350x350]


You...

oi44.tinypic.com
2013-07-07 02:22:17 AM
1 votes:
I need to stop fapping it to ultra dirty porn all the time. It's making it very hard for me to get sexually aroused around women who aren't into cum baths, anal fisting or don't have tits the size of zeppelins.

I've had sex with 5 different women in the last two weeks and I've actually been having trouble getting it hard enough to have sex with them unless I visualize extremely demented or degrading stuff happening to women. One girl even went so far as to go right down on me and give my balls a tongue bath and I still had a hard time popping a wood.

Now, I know it's not just garden variety impotence or whisky dick because I can easily get it up within 2 minutes of browsing the internet. I think what's happened is that I've basically desensitized myself to sex unless it's "extreme". I'm actually experimenting right now seeing if I can avoid all porn for a month or two while just railing chicks normally. It'll suck for me because the most I can probably organize is something like 3-4 times a week if I am putting on the full game (I am juggling like 8 girls at one time) and I really normally masturbate like 2 or 3 times a day. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I feel very strongly that I need to just have straight sex for a while in order to reclaim control of my erections. Either that or I wimp out and just get a Viagra prescription...
2013-07-07 02:13:16 AM
1 votes:
Wow, if he thinks porn is messing with people lives, his head would explode if he heard about mmorpg's.

Porn - 10 minutes.  go to bed.

mmorpg - 18 hours straight until 5am, collapse to get 2 hours sleep before having to be at work.  Hopefully remember to eat tomorrow before logging on again.
2013-07-07 02:07:02 AM
1 votes:
he does have a point, because it is almost impossible to avoid porn if you have a computer and an internet connection.  if i wanted to stop watching porn, getting rid of my computer would be the first step.  i just have no reason to stop.  one thing i hate is how anti-porn crusaders throw around the word "addiction."  i suppose maybe .001% of porn watchers might actually be addicted and unable to stop, but the rest of us aren't.  here is a paraphrased conversation i had once:

friend:  you are addicted to porn.
me:  no, i'm not.
friend: but you watch it all the time.  you probably watch it every day.
me:  i probably do, but that doesn't mean it's an addiction.
friend:  how can you say that?  that's what it means to be addicted!
me:  really?  well you watch sports every day.  are you addicted to watching sports?
friend:  well, no, but that's different.
me:  how is it different?  you watch sports every day, and i watch porn every day.  same thing.
friend:  but sports are my hobby.
me:  exactly, and watching porn is my hobby.  it's something i do for fun that i enjoy.
2013-07-07 02:00:11 AM
1 votes:

alice_600: silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip

You should see the male milking farm.


"We don't have a cow. We have a bull."
2013-07-07 01:51:29 AM
1 votes:
img.photobucket.com
2013-07-07 01:49:27 AM
1 votes:

Lady Indica: Benevolent Misanthrope: maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.

5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.

No bet. Especially after looking at his picture. I'd wager at the very least he's into forced cocksucking.


Yeesh! Who isn't?
2013-07-07 01:43:38 AM
1 votes:

jaytkay: silvervial: jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.

Ah, so it's my kind of porn.

Yes, if I know what you mean.
[www.lastingimpressionsonline.co.uk image 150x111]


You got it!  Just watched a hysterical "behind the scenes" from a bear/twink porn and the twink was quite a character, really funny. He should do stand up (instead of lie down, on all fours, on his side, upside down, etc.) Anyone who can be that funny while upside down with a dildo up his ass is a natural.
2013-07-07 01:24:06 AM
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 272x345]


Not catching the sarcasm in that picture, are you?
2013-07-07 01:23:14 AM
1 votes:

alice_600: But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?


No.  There are several things wrong with that.  Grammar is only the tip of the iceberg.
2013-07-07 01:17:17 AM
1 votes:
Methinks he doth protest too much.
2013-07-07 01:12:43 AM
1 votes:

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


i.imgur.com
Um, yeah. Whatever.
2013-07-07 01:00:00 AM
1 votes:

PaulieattheTap: This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.


"Shuffling off"? Is that what they call it now?
2013-07-07 12:48:11 AM
1 votes:
Standing up to temptation and not taking the bait is a moral virtue.

Destroying anything that might lead you into temptation is a crutch.

Peroxide Jesus Douchebag is a moral cripple. Too bad for him I'm not Christian, so I don't have to forgive him.
2013-07-07 12:42:26 AM
1 votes:
DJ Kittypie here to pop you some appropriate smoke.

Avenue Q - The Internet is for....

I would like to thank DARPA and the All-American Taxpayaz for this fine opportunity to w00t.
2013-07-07 12:40:38 AM
1 votes:

jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?


Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation
2013-07-07 12:36:49 AM
1 votes:

silvervial: jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.

Ah, so it's my kind of porn.


Yes, if I know what you mean.
www.lastingimpressionsonline.co.uk
2013-07-07 12:36:14 AM
1 votes:
It's almost as if looking at porn is a natural impulse that has been present and documented for thousands of years and this guy's oppressive inhibitions are more likely indicative of a mental health problem than any of his follower's "porn addictions".
2013-07-07 12:35:03 AM
1 votes:

jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.


Ah, so it's my kind of porn.
2013-07-07 12:31:17 AM
1 votes:

Pray 4 Mojo: First Baptist Church at the Mall

/Awesome.
/With Awesome Sauce.


I was thinking Hollywood Upstairs Medical School the whole time after I read that.
2013-07-07 12:30:18 AM
1 votes:
You can take my PornHub when you pry it from my warm, firm grip.
2013-07-07 12:28:48 AM
1 votes:
Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens
2013-07-07 12:28:01 AM
1 votes:

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


Porque no los dos?
2013-07-07 12:27:54 AM
1 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-07-07 12:27:48 AM
1 votes:
So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?
2013-07-07 12:24:59 AM
1 votes:
Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?
2013-07-07 12:23:00 AM
1 votes:
By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?
 
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