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(The Raw Story)   Pastor Hipster Guy Fieri urges destruction of computers after witnessing the effects of pornography firsthand, other hand   (rawstory.com) divider line 263
    More: Stupid, porn addiction, computers  
•       •       •

22831 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 12:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



263 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-06 11:22:29 PM  
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-06 11:31:49 PM  
Nice headline.
 
2013-07-06 11:36:11 PM  
You may even need to destroy your present computer. I realize that can be an expensive move, but it may be necessary if you are serious about living porn-free.

Does he have no idea why I even bothered to buy a computer in the first place? What does he think I do with this thing, maths?
 
2013-07-06 11:41:06 PM  
And why the hell would I want to be "porn free?"

/wasn't that a movie about a lion?
 
2013-07-06 11:46:25 PM  
No
 
2013-07-06 11:46:52 PM  
fta I believe as many as 80 percent of men in the church are struggling with viewing pornography.

Yeah, I remember dial-up
 
2013-07-06 11:53:17 PM  
members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?
 
2013-07-06 11:58:46 PM  
...destroy their porn stashes

He wants to get Ron Jeremy to shave?

Not gonna happen.
 
2013-07-06 11:59:16 PM  
Porn should be free.  If you're paying for it in this day and age, you're doing it wrong.
 
2013-07-07 12:17:47 AM  
And how will I order my crate of lipo batteries from Hong Kong? Telex?
 
2013-07-07 12:19:04 AM  

teto85: Porn should be free.  If you're paying for it in this day and age, you're doing it wrong.


People aren't paying for porn, they're paying for it to go away afterward.

That doesn't sound quite right.
 
2013-07-07 12:19:09 AM  
While I agree we're becoming too much of a body culture, keep your dickbeaters off my porn.
 
2013-07-07 12:19:57 AM  
Porn stashes? These people are adorable. It's all streaming nowadays.
 
2013-07-07 12:20:51 AM  

syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?


Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.
 
2013-07-07 12:22:32 AM  
FTA : Dennis even touts a special iPhone app, which features videos of Dennis offering help resisting the dangers of porn.

Uh, hello you stupid sack of shiat...you can get porn on phones.
 
2013-07-07 12:23:00 AM  
By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?
 
2013-07-07 12:24:59 AM  
Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?
 
2013-07-07 12:25:08 AM  
Replacing my laptop won't help, the pr0n is on a 2TB NAS.
 
2013-07-07 12:26:06 AM  
You can't simply take away someone's internet porn like that. They'll get confused. Lost. End up masturbating to pictures of kittens with amusing captions and not knowing at all why.

Why must he be so disruptive?
 
2013-07-07 12:27:20 AM  
Guy's fallen hard after Minute to Win It.
 
2013-07-07 12:27:48 AM  
So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?
 
2013-07-07 12:27:52 AM  
First Baptist Church at the Mall

/Awesome.
/With Awesome Sauce.
 
2013-07-07 12:27:54 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 12:27:57 AM  
i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 12:28:01 AM  

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


Porque no los dos?
 
2013-07-07 12:28:48 AM  
Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens
 
2013-07-07 12:29:05 AM  
HA! Andy Dick tripped into the Brundlefly transporter while KD Lang was in it... for some reason.
 
2013-07-07 12:29:06 AM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?


Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)
 
2013-07-07 12:29:53 AM  
In the name of ahura mazda and luther vandross taking a dump on grumpy cat there are so many things wrong with this thread I cannot begin.
 
2013-07-07 12:30:18 AM  
You can take my PornHub when you pry it from my warm, firm grip.
 
2013-07-07 12:31:07 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: ... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens


They have their own kind

sidesalad.net
 
2013-07-07 12:31:17 AM  

Pray 4 Mojo: First Baptist Church at the Mall

/Awesome.
/With Awesome Sauce.


I was thinking Hollywood Upstairs Medical School the whole time after I read that.
 
2013-07-07 12:31:30 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens


Women are the whores that MAKE the porn.
 
2013-07-07 12:31:34 AM  
'firsthand', secondhand - what ever works.
 
2013-07-07 12:31:38 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?


Meh. Stash, cache.

media1.giphy.com

Splash.
 
2013-07-07 12:31:51 AM  
How about no.
 
2013-07-07 12:32:29 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens


You silly, even if they had them in their kitchens, devout Christian women aren't smart enough to use computers.
 
2013-07-07 12:32:49 AM  
The only way to not do sh*t that isn't what you view and sh*t you shouldn't do is to not want to do that sh*t.
 
2013-07-07 12:33:24 AM  
"We started our research seeking men in their twenties who had never consumed pornography. We couldn't find any,"

Really? I can't imagine it tastes too good.

If he's trying to get younger guys to stop masturbating, he might as well try to get them to give up their breathing habit.
 
2013-07-07 12:33:56 AM  
imageshack.us
 
2013-07-07 12:33:58 AM  
I think that guy watches too much porn.
 
2013-07-07 12:34:03 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.
 
2013-07-07 12:34:42 AM  
you view as sh*t  you should do.  FIFM
 
2013-07-07 12:35:03 AM  

jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.


Ah, so it's my kind of porn.
 
2013-07-07 12:35:20 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


lh3.googleusercontent.com
 
2013-07-07 12:35:36 AM  

DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.


www.feistees.com
 
2013-07-07 12:36:04 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


Thanks for posting that. I have no idea where mine went...
 
2013-07-07 12:36:14 AM  
It's almost as if looking at porn is a natural impulse that has been present and documented for thousands of years and this guy's oppressive inhibitions are more likely indicative of a mental health problem than any of his follower's "porn addictions".
 
2013-07-07 12:36:46 AM  
Dial-up. Yeah, what it used to take all day to download, we now download in minutes -- all day.

Dude doesn't look like female porn would interest him anyway.
 
2013-07-07 12:36:49 AM  

silvervial: jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.

Ah, so it's my kind of porn.


Yes, if I know what you mean.
www.lastingimpressionsonline.co.uk
 
2013-07-07 12:36:59 AM  
2,000 years of Christianity in order to find one's ministry at the mall.
 
2013-07-07 12:37:08 AM  
 
2013-07-07 12:37:32 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


I don't LOL much, but LOL.

Seriously, I LOL'd, and I think my roommate in the living room thinks I've lost my mind.
 
2013-07-07 12:37:47 AM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries:


And I read that in his voice because of your pic bambi. Titty Sprinkles.
 
2013-07-07 12:38:38 AM  
cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2013-07-07 12:39:30 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 12:40:38 AM  

jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?


Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation
 
2013-07-07 12:40:48 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.

[www.feistees.com image 358x300]


That is entirely too awesome for words.
 
2013-07-07 12:41:23 AM  
Titty sparkles
 
2013-07-07 12:41:57 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.

[www.feistees.com image 358x300]


global3.memecdn.com
 
2013-07-07 12:42:26 AM  
DJ Kittypie here to pop you some appropriate smoke.

Avenue Q - The Internet is for....

I would like to thank DARPA and the All-American Taxpayaz for this fine opportunity to w00t.
 
2013-07-07 12:44:19 AM  

rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation


IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.
 
2013-07-07 12:48:11 AM  
Standing up to temptation and not taking the bait is a moral virtue.

Destroying anything that might lead you into temptation is a crutch.

Peroxide Jesus Douchebag is a moral cripple. Too bad for him I'm not Christian, so I don't have to forgive him.
 
2013-07-07 12:48:24 AM  
" pornography's devastating effects on a man, his marriage, his home, his job and his leadership within the church."

Porn doesn't have any of the stated effects. The reaction of other people to it does.
 
2013-07-07 12:49:08 AM  
"Wrestling with God" is the message topic tomorrow with Pastor Jerry in the pulpit. Dot miss it!
 
2013-07-07 12:51:29 AM  
Subby, you magnificent bastard.

+1

Now to give my alts TF to vote more...
 
2013-07-07 12:51:39 AM  
Tonight we're rollin' on downloads, dildo's and dongs.

i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 12:51:40 AM  
Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:05 AM  
Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:46 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.


That's not porn, that's totally church encouraged "marital aids".  I think there's even some fundie companies out there that'll ship rubber dongs and softcore for the betterment of your spiritual union.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:49 AM  
So every time you destroy your porn stash god kills bits?
 
2013-07-07 12:54:51 AM  

Oldiron_79: rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation

IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.


That rule of thumb may not apply to other crusaders, but when it comes to pastors, I've never seen it not be true. The only possible exception would be the pastor who preached against alcohol after growing up with abusive alcoholic parents, but even that was still projecting his own issues on everyone else.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:58 AM  
This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.
 
2013-07-07 12:57:12 AM  
The only parts of the headline I read were "Guy Fieri" and "porn".
I found the article disappointing.
 
2013-07-07 12:57:13 AM  

FloydA: Tonight we're rollin' on downloads, dildo's and dongs.

[i105.photobucket.com image 640x426]


i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 12:57:34 AM  

Bonzo_1116: ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.

That's not porn, that's totally church encouraged "marital aids".  I think there's even some fundie companies out there that'll ship rubber dongs and softcore for the betterment of your spiritual union.


Supernatural WEALTH TRANSFER!
 
2013-07-07 12:57:53 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.


it is the thoughts of men masturbating that causes him to stray.
 
2013-07-07 12:58:04 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 12:58:11 AM  

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.




Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.
 
2013-07-07 12:59:59 AM  

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.


How's your congregation goin?

/soosh happening tonight???
 
2013-07-07 01:00:00 AM  

PaulieattheTap: This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.


"Shuffling off"? Is that what they call it now?
 
2013-07-07 01:00:47 AM  
My only concern would be civilization losing productivity from men losing willpower with instant sexual gratification so easy to achieve. You could work and try to impress a woman, or you could just fap and spend that money or time on a hobby.
But I don't think it has too much of an influence, Japan is still doing well with those herbivore men.
 
2013-07-07 01:02:45 AM  

Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.



Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.


How come?
 
2013-07-07 01:03:29 AM  

rynthetyn: Oldiron_79: rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation

IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.

That rule of thumb may not apply to other crusaders, but when it comes to pastors, I've never seen it not be true. The only possible exception would be the pastor who preached against alcohol after growing up with abusive alcoholic parents, but even that was still projecting his own issues on everyone else.


Make no mistake, even though alcohol isnt thought of as a" Jeebus" issue today it was THE jeebus issue of its day, it was like the abortion of its day.
 
2013-07-07 01:04:43 AM  

jaytkay: PaulieattheTap: This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.

"Shuffling off"? Is that what they call it now?


Five knuckle shuffle
 
2013-07-07 01:05:42 AM  

God-is-a-Taco: My only concern would be civilization losing productivity from men losing willpower with instant sexual gratification so easy to achieve. You could work and try to impress a woman, or you could just fap and spend that money or time on a hobby.
But I don't think it has too much of an influence, Japan is still doing well with those herbivore men.


Brought to you by the Space Pope.

Also DONT DATE ROBOTS.
 
2013-07-07 01:07:03 AM  
A gay pastor saying that porn is wrong?  Oh the irony!
 
2013-07-07 01:08:00 AM  

maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.


5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.
 
2013-07-07 01:08:11 AM  
FTFA: He's begun taking names on his website of men who pledge to destroy their porn stashes - and even their computers - to avoid the temptation.

No, you stupid farkstick. You don't avoid temptation, you overcome it.
 
2013-07-07 01:11:20 AM  

jaytkay: skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 367x492]


"Disk Cleanup"?

Eeew, no thanks.
 
2013-07-07 01:12:43 AM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


i.imgur.com
Um, yeah. Whatever.
 
2013-07-07 01:12:51 AM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.

5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.


No bet. Especially after looking at his picture. I'd wager at the very least he's into forced cocksucking.
 
2013-07-07 01:13:08 AM  

JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?




I'm sure there are as many reasons as there are sad lonely men who have completely given up. Speaking for myself, the film The Forty Year Old Virgin was remarkably like seeing my life on the big screen, except for the happy ending part. And now I'm 47, and bald, and I only have a relatively modest income. I don't think I could get what I want, and I don't think I would want what I could get. Profile pic is from 1989, when I did briefly have a girlfriend. So, yeah.

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-07 01:16:07 AM  

Pray 4 Mojo: First Baptist Church at the Mall

/Awesome.
/With Awesome Sauce.


Streetview reveals it isn't a mall, but the whole building is the church, it seems like the building used to be a mall though judging by it's design. Megachurches always frighten me like that, how they re-purpose a building that wasn't designed to be a church and make it into a super sized church; along with their beloved prosperity doctrine, disgusting pandering attempts to gain converts/church attendance (such as the Hipster-looking pastor), and blame the people they don't like (gays, other religions, athiests, poor people) of all the problems in the world, some of which that they create.
 
2013-07-07 01:16:26 AM  
So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?
 
2013-07-07 01:17:17 AM  
Methinks he doth protest too much.
 
2013-07-07 01:18:40 AM  
Barfmaker:

You may even need to destroy your present computer. I realize that can be an expensive move, but it may be necessary if you are serious about living porn-free.

Does he have no idea why I even bothered to buy a computer in the first place? What does he think I do with this thing, maths?


Worst part being, I actually DID get into computers to do math. The porn was just a sweet, sweet bonus.

That being said, this whole Vulgate technology thing led to the widespread dissolution of the priesthood and personal connections with God. Peace Be Upon Him may he forbid personal understandings of sex forever, and pass them through people who don't know diddly about it.
 
2013-07-07 01:22:39 AM  
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-07 01:23:14 AM  

alice_600: But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?


No.  There are several things wrong with that.  Grammar is only the tip of the iceberg.
 
2013-07-07 01:24:06 AM  

TV's Vinnie: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 272x345]


Not catching the sarcasm in that picture, are you?
 
2013-07-07 01:26:13 AM  

Ed Grubermann: TV's Vinnie: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 272x345]

Not catching the sarcasm in that picture, are you?


Yes, I am. What's funny is that Mall Preacher isn't being sarcastic.
 
2013-07-07 01:26:20 AM  

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.


Maybe we should just stop judging men for fapping. We're visually stimulated, sexual pleasure is distinct from love or attachment, and our instincts tell us to mate with every female in the herd. So our options (even with an SO) are 1) fap to porn or 2) actually try to mate with every female in the herd, which is even more socially unacceptable.

I'm not gay, but I have this in common with gay men: feeling bad for who I am got old and busted a long time ago, so I quit doing it. I don't volunteer to my wife that I use porn, but she knows, and if she asks I'll tell her the truth. <popeye>I yam what I yam.</popeye>
 
2013-07-07 01:28:04 AM  

alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?


Pretty much, if makes a man hard it's porn and therefore bad and if it makes a woman wet it's erotica and therefore perfectly acceptable.

*blink*
 
2013-07-07 01:28:49 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: I'm not gay, but I have this in common with gay men: feeling bad for who I am got old and busted a long time ago, so I quit doing it. I don't volunteer to my wife that I use porn, but she knows, and if she asks I'll tell her the truth. <popeye>I yam what I yam.</popeye>


If a wife asks her husband if he looks at porn and he says no, then biatch you know he be lying.

And if he's telling the truth then you best GTFO of there fast cuz that guy is an inhuman freak that's gonna explode in a murderous rampage from lack of porn. See Middle East.
 
2013-07-07 01:29:22 AM  
Oh yeah.
All right.

Somebody's Heine' is crowdin' my icebox
Somebody's cold one is givin' me chills
Guess I'll just close my eyes

Oh yeah
Alright
Feels good
Inside

Flip on the tele'
Wrestle with Jimmy
Something is bubbling
Behind my back
The bottle is ready to blow

Say it ain't so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain't so
My love is a lifetaker

I can't confront you
I never could do
That which might hurt you
So try and be cool
When I say
This way is a waterslide away from me that takes you further every day (hey)
So be cool

Say it ain't so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain't so
My love is a lifetaker

Dear Daddy,
I write you in spite of years of silence.
You've cleaned up, found Jesus,
things are good or so I hear.
This bottle of Steven's
awakens ancient feelings.
Like father, stepfather, the son is drowning in the flood

Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah yeah.

Say it ain't so
Your drug is a heartbreaker
Say it ain't so
My love is a lifetaker
 
2013-07-07 01:30:28 AM  
This is satire, right?
 
2013-07-07 01:33:16 AM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


The concept of IR is rather intriguing. Some may crank it up as a time-waster, eye-candy, jazzy screen-slaver, whatever, but the intellectual drifting through pretty much unrelated realities triggers appealing stimuli.

I didn't know of it, probably won't log on again, but found it a cute experience.

Except that there's an awful lot of dumb video game stills. I guess it reflects who's watching IR.
 
2013-07-07 01:33:57 AM  

TV's Vinnie: Ed Grubermann: TV's Vinnie: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 272x345]

Not catching the sarcasm in that picture, are you?

Yes, I am. What's funny is that Mall Preacher isn't being sarcastic.


Well, then, never mind. I see way too many people posting that image and not understanding it.
 
2013-07-07 01:34:14 AM  
You may even need to destroy your present computer.

This makes no sense. Why, because the next computer won't be able to access porn? Or should I just live without a computer? I'm a software developer, so that's a non-starter for me, but maybe I should destroy my car so I don't drive to the fark shop or something. Maybe I should close all my bank accounts so I can't buy porn. I don't...how does...what the...

...fark this guy, huh?
 
2013-07-07 01:36:39 AM  

jaytkay: skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 367x492]


pool.theinfosphere.org


jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.


I thought the latest research showed women were turned on by gay porn?
 
2013-07-07 01:41:05 AM  
I have the strangest tingle in my hard drive after reading all this.

pardon me...I must fap now.
 
2013-07-07 01:41:09 AM  
I finally figured it out.

edge1.pokerlistings.com
 
2013-07-07 01:43:38 AM  

jaytkay: silvervial: jaytkay: ReluctantPaladin: would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?

The porn he is watching doesn't affect women.

Ah, so it's my kind of porn.

Yes, if I know what you mean.
[www.lastingimpressionsonline.co.uk image 150x111]


You got it!  Just watched a hysterical "behind the scenes" from a bear/twink porn and the twink was quite a character, really funny. He should do stand up (instead of lie down, on all fours, on his side, upside down, etc.) Anyone who can be that funny while upside down with a dildo up his ass is a natural.
 
2013-07-07 01:43:54 AM  
The guy looks queer himself. Wasn't he on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy?

Anyhow, fark him.
 
2013-07-07 01:43:55 AM  
I'm not watching porn right now. I don't even want to watch porn right now. I am quite busy with income-producing activity and I am not even thinking about porn.
Well, now that I type that, I guess I kind of am, but in an indirect way.

The point is, not addicted. Go MYOB, preacher-perv.
 
2013-07-07 01:45:41 AM  

Barfmaker: You may even need to destroy your present computer. I realize that can be an expensive move, but it may be necessary if you are serious about living porn-free.

Does he have no idea why I even bothered to buy a computer in the first place? What does he think I do with this thing, maths?


I've been told that porn is what the Internet is for.
 
2013-07-07 01:46:26 AM  
Guy F. lost some weight! Boy he looks good!
 
2013-07-07 01:46:49 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 01:47:03 AM  
" pornography's devastating effects on a man, his marriage, his home, his job and his leadership within the church."

What the hell kind of farked-up porn has this guy been watching?  Double reverse cowgirl midget tranny ATM?

Also, isn't providing leadership within the church kinda that pastor's job?  Everyone who said this guy is projecting his own inner shame onto the congregation is probably onto something.

Partaking of porn semi-regularly (or even daily) does not constitute an addiction.  People go to work every day, but we don't say they're addicted to work - and they can't quit anytime they want, 'cause bills and kids and retirement.
 
2013-07-07 01:48:56 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 01:49:27 AM  

Lady Indica: Benevolent Misanthrope: maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.

5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.

No bet. Especially after looking at his picture. I'd wager at the very least he's into forced cocksucking.


Yeesh! Who isn't?
 
2013-07-07 01:51:29 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 01:51:37 AM  

Repo Man: JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?



I'm sure there are as many reasons as there are sad lonely men who have completely given up. Speaking for myself, the film The Forty Year Old Virgin was remarkably like seeing my life on the big screen, except for the happy ending part. And now I'm 47, and bald, and I only have a relatively modest income. I don't think I could get what I want, and I don't think I would want what I could get. Profile pic is from 1989, when I did briefly have a girlfriend. So, yeah.


And therein lies the crux of the matter-learning to balance our expectations with our reality. I won't bore you with a bunch of cliches about love and destiny...if you ever just wanna talk to a random friend from the middle of nowhere Missouri, hit me up. Have a good night!
 
2013-07-07 01:52:27 AM  

Repo Man: JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?

I'm sure there are as many reasons as there are sad lonely men who have completely given up. Speaking for myself, the film The Forty Year Old Virgin was remarkably like seeing my life on the big screen, except for the happy ending part. And now I'm 47, and bald, and I only have a relatively modest income. I don't think I could get what I want, and I don't think I would want what I could get. Profile pic is from 1989, when I did briefly have a girlfriend. So, yeah.

[i40.tinypic.com image 850x438]


That is *unspeakably* sad! Here we were trying to have a nice porn thread and you had to go and do this!
 
2013-07-07 01:53:09 AM  

trappedspirit: alice_600: But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

No.  There are several things wrong with that.  Grammar is only the tip of the iceberg.


Besides the grammar what's wrong?
 
2013-07-07 01:54:33 AM  

alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?


Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip
 
2013-07-07 01:55:22 AM  

Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]


Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.
 
2013-07-07 01:56:08 AM  

quatchi: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Pretty much, if makes a man hard it's porn and therefore bad and if it makes a woman wet it's erotica and therefore perfectly acceptable.

*blink*


What? I like watching guys!
 
2013-07-07 01:57:15 AM  
What's a "Concention?"
 
2013-07-07 01:58:43 AM  

silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip


You should see the male milking farm.
 
2013-07-07 02:00:11 AM  

alice_600: silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip

You should see the male milking farm.


"We don't have a cow. We have a bull."
 
2013-07-07 02:00:48 AM  

alice_600: silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip

You should see the male milking farm.


Off to teh googles!!!!
 
2013-07-07 02:01:49 AM  
 
2013-07-07 02:03:00 AM  

DoctorCal: bunner: The only way to not do sh*t that isn't what you view and sh*t you shouldn't do is to not want to do that sh*t.

Happy with what you have to be happy with
You have to be happy with what you have
To be happy with what you have
Happy with what you have to be happy with
You have to be happy with what you have
To be happy with what you have
You have to be happy with what you have to happy with


From now on I shall refer to my junk as "The Crimson King"
 
2013-07-07 02:03:53 AM  
Another weakling who believes that, because he cannot resist a temptation, that all avenues to temptation should be destroyed. Misses the whole point of temptation - that resistance, not denial, is the point of the conflict. He would rather run away from the fight his God sets in front of him, terrified that he might lose, rather than face that fight.

Coward.
 
2013-07-07 02:04:40 AM  
static.comicvine.com
 
2013-07-07 02:04:50 AM  

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.


What about watching porn with your SO? Mutual masturbation is the bees knees.

/23 skidoo
 
2013-07-07 02:04:53 AM  

alice_600: What? I like watching guys!


As long as you don't want to make me watch it with you, I'm cool.

I like watching girl on girl so I aint judging.
 
2013-07-07 02:07:02 AM  
he does have a point, because it is almost impossible to avoid porn if you have a computer and an internet connection.  if i wanted to stop watching porn, getting rid of my computer would be the first step.  i just have no reason to stop.  one thing i hate is how anti-porn crusaders throw around the word "addiction."  i suppose maybe .001% of porn watchers might actually be addicted and unable to stop, but the rest of us aren't.  here is a paraphrased conversation i had once:

friend:  you are addicted to porn.
me:  no, i'm not.
friend: but you watch it all the time.  you probably watch it every day.
me:  i probably do, but that doesn't mean it's an addiction.
friend:  how can you say that?  that's what it means to be addicted!
me:  really?  well you watch sports every day.  are you addicted to watching sports?
friend:  well, no, but that's different.
me:  how is it different?  you watch sports every day, and i watch porn every day.  same thing.
friend:  but sports are my hobby.
me:  exactly, and watching porn is my hobby.  it's something i do for fun that i enjoy.
 
2013-07-07 02:07:31 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.




No, those are fine. Feel free to post all you want Mock26.
 
2013-07-07 02:07:58 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


I'll allow this.
 
2013-07-07 02:10:43 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


Meh, go take a shower.
 
2013-07-07 02:12:24 AM  
Porn didn't exist before the personal computer?  I did not know that.
 
2013-07-07 02:13:16 AM  
Wow, if he thinks porn is messing with people lives, his head would explode if he heard about mmorpg's.

Porn - 10 minutes.  go to bed.

mmorpg - 18 hours straight until 5am, collapse to get 2 hours sleep before having to be at work.  Hopefully remember to eat tomorrow before logging on again.
 
2013-07-07 02:15:17 AM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: Wow, if he thinks porn is messing with people lives, his head would explode if he heard about mmorpg's.

Porn - 10 minutes.  go to bed.

mmorpg - 18 hours straight until 5am, collapse to get 2 hours sleep before having to be at work.  Hopefully remember to eat tomorrow before logging on again.


10 minutes? Is that including smoking a cigarette afterwords?
 
2013-07-07 02:17:35 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


dl.dropboxusercontent.com
 
2013-07-07 02:19:00 AM  

teto85: Porn should be free.  If you're paying for it in this day and age, you're doing it wrong.


Women shouldn't be paid for their work?
 
2013-07-07 02:20:49 AM  
Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.
 
2013-07-07 02:21:52 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


oi39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-07 02:22:17 AM  
I need to stop fapping it to ultra dirty porn all the time. It's making it very hard for me to get sexually aroused around women who aren't into cum baths, anal fisting or don't have tits the size of zeppelins.

I've had sex with 5 different women in the last two weeks and I've actually been having trouble getting it hard enough to have sex with them unless I visualize extremely demented or degrading stuff happening to women. One girl even went so far as to go right down on me and give my balls a tongue bath and I still had a hard time popping a wood.

Now, I know it's not just garden variety impotence or whisky dick because I can easily get it up within 2 minutes of browsing the internet. I think what's happened is that I've basically desensitized myself to sex unless it's "extreme". I'm actually experimenting right now seeing if I can avoid all porn for a month or two while just railing chicks normally. It'll suck for me because the most I can probably organize is something like 3-4 times a week if I am putting on the full game (I am juggling like 8 girls at one time) and I really normally masturbate like 2 or 3 times a day. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I feel very strongly that I need to just have straight sex for a while in order to reclaim control of my erections. Either that or I wimp out and just get a Viagra prescription...
 
2013-07-07 02:23:46 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.


I made this one just for you, Busy.


img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:25:53 AM  

Mock26: Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

I made this one just for you, Busy.


[img.photobucket.com image 350x350]


You...

oi44.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-07 02:27:42 AM  

Mock26: I made this one just for you, Busy.


Aww. Thanks!
 
2013-07-07 02:29:14 AM  

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


Why choose?

TheZorker: Guy's fallen hard after Minute to Win It.


Eating all your meals at Diners, Drive-Ins, or Dives will have that effect.
 
2013-07-07 02:31:38 AM  

jaytkay: Fuggin Bizzy: Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

[dl.dropboxusercontent.com image 190x355]


There's always an exception for Maru.
He's the only internet cat I like, the rest of them are reddit'd to death

He was also used to demonstrate how awesome the people behind at Croteam are:

http://www.serioussamhd.com/screenshots.php
 
2013-07-07 02:35:13 AM  

cuzsis: Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.


Do you not understand the difference between saying 'everyone engages in behavior x' and 'forcing people to behave in behavior x'.

Because it looks a lot like you're asking people to be tolerant and understanding about a multifaceted nine carat gem of stupidity.
 
2013-07-07 02:36:24 AM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


Be warned: there are not safe for work and NOT SAFE FOR LIFE images that cannot bee unseen. Oh, dear.
 
2013-07-07 02:40:48 AM  
Baptist women are just fridgidbuttfugly
 
2013-07-07 02:44:44 AM  

cuzsis: Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.



img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:47:00 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

[oi39.tinypic.com image 319x308]



img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:47:46 AM  

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-07-07 02:48:59 AM  

jaytkay: Fuggin Bizzy: Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

[dl.dropboxusercontent.com image 190x355]



img.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:50:08 AM  

cuzsis: Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.


You'll get over it, weirdo. :p
 
2013-07-07 03:01:02 AM  
You know that this dude is jacking it, like a mental patient. Probably to something completely f*cking creepy, like dead babies in wigs.
 
2013-07-07 03:09:08 AM  

Satanic_Hamster: ReluctantPaladin:

Women are the whores that MAKE the porn.


I guess you've never heard of Corbin Fi... I've said too much.

/wat?
 
2013-07-07 03:12:31 AM  

fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.


media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-07 03:19:20 AM  
Where in the bible does it say a man shouldn't look at porn?
 
2013-07-07 03:21:03 AM  
Not that I care, but it just seems like Christians make up shiat as they go, or ignore shiat when it interferes with their way of life.
 
2013-07-07 03:24:55 AM  

ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.


Yeah but if they're spending all this money on porn, they can't afford to buy his two anti-porn books!
 
2013-07-07 03:27:50 AM  

Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.


That is so sad.
 
2013-07-07 03:30:02 AM  

Elmo Jones: Probably to something completely f*cking creepy, like dead babies in wigs.


I'm thinking...a guy with your kind of mind...should have the land crab.  Excellent seafood.
 
2013-07-07 03:49:15 AM  
Yawn...my wife and I like to watch porn together. We see it, it gives us ideas to try and suggest.  We don't always accept the ideas we see.  Like I suggest time and time again her, me and any entry of my top 100 women who we personally know, have seen, are friendly with or are have shown a sexual interest in one or both of us.  She says no...repeatedly.  But there have been other suggestions that we have tried that we learned about while watching porn.

I wouldn't say porn is destructive or bad.  Hell, I've had one night stands with women that were so bad I came home, went to a porn site and had better sex with my right hand than I had with the woman the night before who's name I instantly forgot.  When I was single I actually used porn as a filtering device for prospective dates.  If the woman was 100% against porn I didn't waste my time with her.  If she said "Yeah, I go to literotica.com quite a bit.  I may have read some of your work."  Then I know it's someone worth dating.

The strangest woman I ever dated, before I decided to use porn as a filtering device for dating, she was against porn.  So when she'd visit I'd have to hide my porn and use the "special" user account that I had created on my computer for when she visited (Win 2000.  The special account blocked the internet to anything that could be porn related.  I had an IT friend who set it up for me.  This way anti-porn girlfriends wouldn't accidentally find the porn sites I frequented regularly.  It also blocked access to certain folders, so she couldn't go snooping and find anything on my hard drive).  She hated pornography, refused to watch it, but if we were walking down the street and she thought she saw someone having sex in an open window she'd get excited and would want to watch.  If we were watching a movie and it built up to a sex scene she'd get upset if there was no nudity or sex, or the scene was just skipped.  Porn is bad, but peeping and voyeurism is just peachy?
 
2013-07-07 03:50:30 AM  
It is topics like this which he can be both technically right and practically wrong at the same time.
Yes, addictions are bad and you should avoid them.  But how much qualifies as an addiction?  More than zero is not an answer.

Typically as most farker's do, ignore this guy because he has an Amish attitude towards technology.
 
2013-07-07 03:56:53 AM  
Wasn't this the basis for some crappy Kirk Cameron movie?
 
2013-07-07 04:03:58 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


is that farkin windows 2000? welcome to 1999, dude
 
2013-07-07 04:14:35 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: You can take my PornHub when you pry it from my warm, firm, lubricated grip.

  ftfy
 
2013-07-07 04:17:56 AM  

rev. dave: It is topics like this which he can be both technically right and practically wrong at the same time.
Yes, addictions are bad and you should avoid them.  But how much qualifies as an addiction?  More than zero is not an answer.

Typically as most farker's do, ignore this guy because he has an Amish attitude towards technology.


There is only one person who I have ever met that I would say was a porn addict.  I was in college, in my mid-20s living in the dorms.  I was there for about a year and a half when this kid who's name I don't even remember any more (called him Monkey because of the way he'd act when he'd get pissed) moved into the dorm to start school.  He was 18, fresh out of high school, first time away from mommy.  He and I were in similar majors.  Similar enough that I and a few of my friends had offered to help him with the basics that he was taking his first semester (we went through it, got A's, so why not help out those who need it?).  He was a bit weird to begin with.  Anyone who had offered him help with classes he avoided.  He didn't socialize with anyone.  Sometimes we wouldn't see him for days, just locked in his dorm room.

We later found out that he wasn't going to class.  One day he told me that he didn't go to class because that morning there was a light drizzle, so he assumed class was canceled.  But the night before, during a farking thunderstorm, hail and tornado watch he drove 30 miles to the porn shop to rent some movies.  His roommate explained that he visited the porn shop more than he attended class and the only sounds he ever heard coming from Monkey's computer or television was the moaning from porn movies.  No video game sounds, no television shows or regular movies, no silence either.  By mid terms he had missed enough class that he wasn't going to pass anything.  He didn't even know which professors were male or female.  The week of mid terms he was moving out.  Roommate laughed and told us about how his mother chewed him out for two hours over the porn.  She was giving him $100/week and he was spending it entirely on porn.  He never bought text books.  I bought his meal card for the semester for a $30 prepaid visa card.  That really pissed off his mother.  He also told us that she was threatening to put saltpeter in Monkey's food.  She did throw away all his porn and she actually took the computer to the third floor fire escape and threw it onto the parking lot.  She was pissed.  Five garbage bags full of DVDs and magazines.

That's probably the only person I've ever met that was a porn addict.
 
2013-07-07 04:21:46 AM  
I think people should worry more about their addiction to religion.  Anyway, I'm off to surf for more porn (and yes I'm using a Windows 200 machine - still works fine)
 
2013-07-07 04:34:51 AM  
that headline hurt my head.
Is this the post anigifs thread ? cool.
/suck it pony haters- they are funny
 
2013-07-07 04:37:01 AM  

Vertdang: fusillade762: syrynxx: members of his staff and congregation who approached him about their husbands and sons alleged pornography addictions.

Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home.  How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?

Heh. Can't decide on "Smart" or "Funny" button.

[media.tumblr.com image 354x255]


well played.
 
2013-07-07 04:52:10 AM  
Dennis also called porn addiction to the "new bubonic plague" and explained that pornography is "as addictive as crack cocaine."

so.. technically i should give crack cocaine a try considering the fact i hate watching porn.
 
2013-07-07 04:54:15 AM  

Great Janitor: rev. dave: It is topics like this which he can be both technically right and practically wrong at the same time.
Yes, addictions are bad and you should avoid them.  But how much qualifies as an addiction?  More than zero is not an answer.

Typically as most farker's do, ignore this guy because he has an Amish attitude towards technology.

There is only one person who I have ever met that I would say was a porn addict.  I was in college, in my mid-20s living in the dorms.  I was there for about a year and a half when this kid who's name I don't even remember any more (called him Monkey because of the way he'd act when he'd get pissed) moved into the dorm to start school.  He was 18, fresh out of high school, first time away from mommy.  He and I were in similar majors.  Similar enough that I and a few of my friends had offered to help him with the basics that he was taking his first semester (we went through it, got A's, so why not help out those who need it?).  He was a bit weird to begin with.  Anyone who had offered him help with classes he avoided.  He didn't socialize with anyone.  Sometimes we wouldn't see him for days, just locked in his dorm room.

We later found out that he wasn't going to class.  One day he told me that he didn't go to class because that morning there was a light drizzle, so he assumed class was canceled.  But the night before, during a farking thunderstorm, hail and tornado watch he drove 30 miles to the porn shop to rent some movies.  His roommate explained that he visited the porn shop more than he attended class and the only sounds he ever heard coming from Monkey's computer or television was the moaning from porn movies.  No video game sounds, no television shows or regular movies, no silence either.  By mid terms he had missed enough class that he wasn't going to pass anything.  He didn't even know which professors were male or female.  The week of mid terms he was moving out.  Roommate laughed and told us about how his mother chewed ...



Sounds like his habit was interfering with other aspects of his life - which I'm pretty sure is actually when something becomes classified as an addiction.

Watching porn several times a day != addiction
Flunking out of college because you never went to class in order to watch porn = addiction.
Getting fired from your job because you keep leaving your desk to watch porn on your phone in the bathroom = addiction

/losing your marriage because your SO hates that you watch porn = you probably married the wrong person
 
2013-07-07 04:55:02 AM  

Camus27: I think people should worry more about their addiction to religion.  Anyway, I'm off to surf for more porn (and yes I'm using a Windows 200 machine - still works fine)


I'm considering building either a WinXp or Win2K machine.  Nothing against Win7, but I have a lot of older games and they don't work well on Win7, so I'm looking at building a WinXP or Win2K gaming machine.
 
2013-07-07 05:14:10 AM  

Jorn the Younger: Sounds like his habit was interfering with other aspects of his life - which I'm pretty sure is actually when something becomes classified as an addiction.

Watching porn several times a day != addiction
Flunking out of college because you never went to class in order to watch porn = addiction.
Getting fired from your job because you keep leaving your desk to watch porn on your phone in the bathroom = addiction

/losing your marriage because your SO hates that you watch porn = you probably married the wrong person


Monkey's story is pretty much the definition of addiction.  Just about everyone I know admits to looking at porn online.  Monkey is the only person I know who let porn dominate their life to the point that everything else in his life fell apart.  I'd imagine that almost ten years later he's gotten the help that he needs.  If I remembered his name I'd look him up online to see if he is a sex offender.  I'm not saying that all who are porn addicts are sex offenders, but if someone is in an environment where they over indulge in porn to the point that they have a porn movie playing all hours of the day, flunk out of school, let their personal hygiene suffer (he didn't shower much since the dorms had communal showers, so imagine the smell of someone who sits in bed all day fapping and doesn't shower for a week.  Not just that, but the school had to toss out his mattress.  His roommate showed it to us, I think it was used as bed/couch/restroom/cum rag) and then their mother pulls that person out of that environment cold turkey, something bad could happen.  Something that could score a sex offender registry.

I also believe that we shouldn't let the Monkey's of the world, those who honestly have porn addiction, be the reason for championing anti-porn crusades.  Treat those with the problem and let those who can lead a normal life while looking at porn without the porn being a problem be.
 
2013-07-07 05:27:07 AM  
i find it hard that anyone can be "addicted" to porn that doesn't also use meth (or another amphetamine based stimulant)
 
2013-07-07 05:47:02 AM  
Anyone that writes a book called "Our Hardcore Battle for Wives" is up to no good.

But "Our Hardcore Battle for Wives" is a great-sounding pro wrestling stipulation match.
 
2013-07-07 06:23:09 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens


We don't get our porn on the Internet.

It's too difficult to use a mouse with...okay, you get the picture.
 
2013-07-07 07:21:11 AM  

Gyrfalcon: ReluctantPaladin: Not that I believe this posturing dickbag but ...

FTFA
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders." And warned that there was an "almost 100 percent chance that your son will be exposed to some type of pornography"

... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens

We don't get our porn on the Internet.

It's too difficult to use a mouse with...okay, you get the picture.


Not sure I do...go on.

/almost there
 
2013-07-07 07:22:31 AM  

enderthexenocide: one thing i hate is how anti-porn crusaders throw around the word "addiction." i suppose maybe .001% of porn watchers might actually be addicted and unable to stop, but the rest of us aren't.

"I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever."
- Mark Twain
Unfortunately, the entire concept of a "vice" (as a distinct concept from "addiction") is likely yet another casualty of the War On (some) Drugs.
 
2013-07-07 07:25:20 AM  
if you've got a problem with porn then why don't  you remove yourself from the computer/society for a while rather than removing  computers from society permanently, dickweed
 
2013-07-07 07:29:10 AM  

AdamK: if you've got a problem with porn then why don't  you remove yourself from the computer/society for a while rather than removing  computers from society permanently, dickweed


well if your a Christian you have sex so much you don't have time for anything else
 
2013-07-07 07:46:45 AM  
The lady doth protest too much methinks.
 
2013-07-07 08:17:01 AM  
About 3-4 years ago, my in-laws got my wife's grandmother a computer and paid for her high speed internet.  This way my MIL could Skype with her mother, they could email, share Facebook postings, etc.

My MIL crazy, religious nut brother was not too happy about this.  I am summarizing here, but he basically called the computer evil, because there were "ungodly" and blasphemous things on the internet - obviously porn, but things that were anti-christian, sites that glorified materialism, on and on, and on...oh, the computer had games on it that "distracted mother from her relationship with Jesus" (Solitaire, Free Cell, Flight Simulator, Tetris...not violent games mind you).

This is a grown man here, with a wife and two small children.  Granny lived about 1/4 mile from him.  They live in Wardensville, WV (Rural, mountain community with like 300 people in town)...maybe 1000 people in and around the city all together.  So, small, boring place to live.  Granny's husband of 50+ years had just died.  So you've got a 70-something woman, living in the sticks, with no one to talk to or take care of...keep that in mind...

So Jesus Freak after about a year or so simply had enough of mother having access to the outside world, and disabled her computer.  He uninstalled Skype, and every other game that he could, he deleted granny's Facebook, he canceled her high speed internet, then threw away the computer.

Needless to say, my in-laws were royally pissed off about this.  So they up and moved her to an apartment complex for seniors, and got her an iPad and high speed internet.

So, yeah.  Not sure what the point of my story here is, other than some religious folks are farking crazy.

Oh, no...my MIL does not really speak with her brother.  As I understand it, he did this like 15-20 years ago too when mom and dad got satellite TV.
 
2013-07-07 08:26:53 AM  
Next thing you know he'll be telling women to cover up because they make men horny.
 
2013-07-07 08:27:49 AM  
There's a few things you guys need to keep in mind about conservative churches and porn that I haven't seen mentioned in the thread:

1. The root sin that churches condemn when it comes to porn is lust. The passage most often cited regarding lust is Matthew 5:27-30:

"You have heard that it was said, 'You shall not commit adultery.'But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.

The passage here is pretty clear that even recognizing a nice pair of legs walking down the street is a sin comparable to cheating on your wife. For denominations that place an emphasis on literalism and proof-texting, there really is no way for them to get past the idea that porn is inherently sinful, and that whatever you have to give up to remain pure is ultimately worth it. They're pretty much stuck with it.

2. This campaign against lust frequently encompasses not just porn, but masturbation in general - the reason being that for most people it's difficult or impossible to masturbate without at least fantasizing about something. This is also analogous to cheating on your wife (or future wife, or someone else's wife,) as per the Bible verses I mentioned, so whacking it is out too. One major function of the "Men's Groups" in churches like this is to act as the "fap police."

3. So now, you've got groups of young men with normal sex drives who you've convinced that porn and masturbation are grave evils that imperils their souls. You've told them over and over again that porn will destroy their marriages, ruin their ability to enjoy sex, and possibly endanger their salvation. (That last one is kind of theologically long-winded in Protestant churches, but the gist is that God gives a real Christian the power to avoid temptation and the desire to do so, so if you consistently fail it may be a sign you haven't given yourself over to God completely, so you might not really be SavedTM.)

Anyway, so you got these groups of young men who believe that porn is horrible, but they also have pretty typical desires and they see attractive women on TV or walking down the street just the same as the rest of us. What do these guys do? They masturbate, of course. They may go through great pains to avoid it, and will feel tremendous guilt afterwards and promise to never do it again, but in general they can't stop. So now that they see themselves in a cycle of continual relapse and repentance despite the fact that they believe that porn and masturbation are on par with stabbing their wives in the heart and spitting in God's face, it's not exactly difficult to convince them they're "addicted."

 4. And, finally, if you've got an entire church full of women who've been taught from a young age that porn is analogous to being cheated on, when they discover that their boyfriend/husband watches porn or masturbates, they will feel as if they've been betrayed by a raging addict. This is not conducive to healthy relationships, so after dealing with a few disasters like this a pastor can semi-legitimately say that they've seen "so many" relationships "destroyed" by "porn addiction."


My point in this long-winded little diatribe is that the view that porn is a grave evil is mostly a self-fulfilling prophecy, but at the same time you're going to have a very difficult time convincing someone who believes this that the occasional digitally-enhanced fap session is not that big of a deal.

(Also, in a lot of churches like this the female sex drive is downplayed/ignored and the women's discussions of the topic don't get shared with the guys, so I'm actually not sure how much female masturbation and porn use are cracked down on. In general I can say it's viewed as a men's problem.)
 
2013-07-07 08:38:51 AM  

7th Son of a 7th Son: FTA : Dennis even touts a special iPhone app, which features videos of Dennis offering help resisting the dangers of porn.

Uh, hello you stupid sack of shiat...you can get porn on phones.


i really wonder what his idea of a "computer" is. probably a large ugly box coated with the skin of Christians that only the most evil men possess.
 
2013-07-07 08:46:45 AM  

ReluctantPaladin: ... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens


Women don't watch porn...kinda like how we also don't poop.
 
2013-07-07 08:47:55 AM  
That's pretty funny, subby.

Drew, we need a funny button for headlines.
 
2013-07-07 09:05:53 AM  
Internet porn is bad, it can cause this to happen...
 
2013-07-07 09:06:40 AM  
Damn it fark, now with image..

i18.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 09:15:27 AM  
Am I the only Farker who looked at the pastor's picture and thought he looked like a lesbian?

(I swear he looks just like a woman I used to know in DC who was very out.)
 
2013-07-07 09:15:36 AM  

Fuggin Bizzy: Mock26: [img.photobucket.com image 433x650]

Stop that. Anigifs are the worst thing since Hitler.

 
2013-07-07 09:22:25 AM  
And just like most anti this that or the other crusader types, I bet this "pastor" has much to hide. Like maybe an external hard drive full of gay porn.
 
2013-07-07 09:24:15 AM  

JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.



Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?


I've been assured by farkettes that if you can't get a girlfriend it's entirely your fault, so I'm single because I must he a horrible person, even worse than the Boston bomber. After all, he's gotten hundreds of love letters, so he must be a great person.
 
2013-07-07 09:35:03 AM  
If anything porn is good for you. In fact, it's hard NOT to find porn on the internet. So go at it. Men and women. Married and single.
 
2013-07-07 09:35:32 AM  
He's got a point.
 
2013-07-07 09:35:58 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?

I've been assured by farkettes that if you can't get a girlfriend it's entirely your fault, so I'm single because I must he a horrible person, even worse than the Boston bomber. After all, he's gotten hundreds of love letters, so he must be a great person.


Anyone sending him love letters is crazy and you know the rule about crazy....
 
2013-07-07 09:37:21 AM  
A real pastor start a charity to help all those who went blind from porn by providing combination seeing eye dogs/St Bernard's with casks of lube around their necks.

This guy could help with the legal and logistics of where to stash the money offshore and where to get the best deals on blood diamonds.

www.islamophobiatoday.com
 
2013-07-07 09:41:10 AM  
There's a reason Guy Fieri calls it "donkey sauce".
 
2013-07-07 09:41:49 AM  
Alta Vista sent me here on my quest for "free porn".  Where is it?
 
2013-07-07 09:52:02 AM  

Fromageball: ReluctantPaladin: ... would it be too much for him to express some concern over the effects that pornography might have on women?


/Maybe the women he knows don't have a computer in their kitchens

Women don't watch porn...kinda like how we also don't poop.


ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2013-07-07 10:02:29 AM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 10:03:32 AM  
He said that porn is a "weapon" that threatens "husbands, dads, fiancées and even church leaders."

IOW, he likes to watch porn on his computer. More than likely, hot, sweaty, man-on-man hairy-balls pron.

/nttawwt
 
2013-07-07 10:16:27 AM  

Endive Wombat: About 3-4 years ago, my in-laws got my wife's grandmother a computer and paid for her high speed internet.  This way my MIL could Skype with her mother, they could email, share Facebook postings, etc.

My MIL crazy, religious nut brother was not too happy about this.  I am summarizing here, but he basically called the computer evil, because there were "ungodly" and blasphemous things on the internet - obviously porn, but things that were anti-christian, sites that glorified materialism, on and on, and on...oh, the computer had games on it that "distracted mother from her relationship with Jesus" (Solitaire, Free Cell, Flight Simulator, Tetris...not violent games mind you).

This is a grown man here, with a wife and two small children.  Granny lived about 1/4 mile from him.  They live in Wardensville, WV (Rural, mountain community with like 300 people in town)...maybe 1000 people in and around the city all together.  So, small, boring place to live.  Granny's husband of 50+ years had just died.  So you've got a 70-something woman, living in the sticks, with no one to talk to or take care of...keep that in mind...

So Jesus Freak after about a year or so simply had enough of mother having access to the outside world, and disabled her computer.  He uninstalled Skype, and every other game that he could, he deleted granny's Facebook, he canceled her high speed internet, then threw away the computer.

Needless to say, my in-laws were royally pissed off about this.  So they up and moved her to an apartment complex for seniors, and got her an iPad and high speed internet.

So, yeah.  Not sure what the point of my story here is, other than some religious folks are farking crazy.

Oh, no...my MIL does not really speak with her brother.  As I understand it, he did this like 15-20 years ago too when mom and dad got satellite TV.


WV; dr.
 
2013-07-07 10:16:55 AM  
And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)

Not sure if Jesus was referring to spanking it to "Backdoor Sluts 9" here, but it's a possible interpretation.
 
2013-07-07 10:21:41 AM  

silvervial: alice_600: silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip

You should see the male milking farm.

Off to teh googles!!!!


i758.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 10:24:58 AM  

Mouser: And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RekCBUDXNjw
 
2013-07-07 10:28:49 AM  

uber humper: That's pretty funny, subby.

Drew, we need a funny button for headlines.


Thanks, oh and the TFers have this handy little vote button. It's half-worthless but it makes you feel like you've shown your appreciation to something.

/subby
 
2013-07-07 10:48:25 AM  
i could never live with conflicting thoughts. i would quit porn or quit being Christian, maybe find a more reasonable church. not just fight myself and start trashing the home office.
 
2013-07-07 11:04:23 AM  

TwistedFark: I need to stop fapping it to ultra dirty porn all the time. It's making it very hard for me to get sexually aroused around women who aren't into cum baths, anal fisting or don't have tits the size of zeppelins.

I've had sex with 5 different women in the last two weeks and I've actually been having trouble getting it hard enough to have sex with them unless I visualize extremely demented or degrading stuff happening to women. One girl even went so far as to go right down on me and give my balls a tongue bath and I still had a hard time popping a wood.

Now, I know it's not just garden variety impotence or whisky dick because I can easily get it up within 2 minutes of browsing the internet. I think what's happened is that I've basically desensitized myself to sex unless it's "extreme". I'm actually experimenting right now seeing if I can avoid all porn for a month or two while just railing chicks normally. It'll suck for me because the most I can probably organize is something like 3-4 times a week if I am putting on the full game (I am juggling like 8 girls at one time) and I really normally masturbate like 2 or 3 times a day. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I feel very strongly that I need to just have straight sex for a while in order to reclaim control of my erections. Either that or I wimp out and just get a Viagra prescription...


You're a twisted fark.
 
2013-07-07 11:08:07 AM  
Don't forget the tranny amputee gay midget scat porn.
 
2013-07-07 11:56:02 AM  

nburghmatt: i could never live with conflicting thoughts. i would quit porn or quit being Christian, maybe find a more reasonable church. not just fight myself and start trashing the home office.


PC LOAD LETTER WHAT THAT MEAN?
 
2013-07-07 11:59:03 AM  
So, how long 'till this guy gets busted for kiddie porn?
 
2013-07-07 12:09:15 PM  

sharphead: Yeah but if they're spending all this money on porn, they can't afford to buy his two anti-porn books!


People still actually pay for porn?
 
2013-07-07 12:20:37 PM  

eas81: silvervial: alice_600: silvervial: alice_600: So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?

Yup, you and I are fine. What we women's get up to on the intrawebs isn't a big deal. Pron only destroys *men's* lives, you see.

/thinks she saw that porn clip

You should see the male milking farm.

Off to teh googles!!!!

[i758.photobucket.com image 400x397]


For what it's worth, you're better off searching for porn on Bing.com as the results are better than what Google gives you. This is according to what a friend told me.
 
2013-07-07 12:56:53 PM  

silvervial: Lady Indica: Benevolent Misanthrope: maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.

5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.

No bet. Especially after looking at his picture. I'd wager at the very least he's into forced cocksucking.

Yeesh! Who isn't?


Altar boys?
 
2013-07-07 01:02:52 PM  
He's begun taking names on his website of men who pledge to destroy their porn stashes - and even their computers - to avoid the temptation.

i105.photobucket.com
What destroying a porn stash might look like.
 
2013-07-07 01:19:07 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


This one allows you to set how many images you want and the size. I find if I set it over 1000 FF crashes.

NSFW

http://random-images-from-imgur.free-forum-or-site.com/
 
2013-07-07 01:19:08 PM  

zerkalo: 2,000 years of Christianity in order to find one's ministry at the mall.


Could be worse. This Wal-mart is now this church, because they built a super Wal-mart behind it.

www.ci.greenfield.wi.us
 
2013-07-07 01:22:20 PM  

Bucky Katt: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

That is so sad.


I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single.  I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility.  Nobody else has access to my bank account.  I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else.  My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

To each his/her own.
 
2013-07-07 01:33:24 PM  

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


I lol'd.
 
2013-07-07 01:38:20 PM  

cuzsis: Is this the thread where everyone says that if you don't watch porn you're some kind of inhuman freak?

 Oh, well good. It's nice to know everyone's so tolerant and understanding about different behaviors.

/trying to force everyone to like the exact same things you like makes you a douche.
//like the pastor
///and many posters in this thread.


1-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2013-07-07 01:40:27 PM  

FloydA: Bucky Katt: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

That is so sad.

I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single.  I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility.  Nobody else has access to my bank account.  I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else.  My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

To each his/her own.




That may be true for you, and if it is, I envy you. While I realize there are worse things than being single, I love women, and I'd love to have a family. For me, trying to pretend otherwise would be like Aesop's The Fox and the Grapes. When I had a friend who lived nearby, I loved being "Uncle Repo Man" to his kids. His girls would hear my car coming up the street, and run out of the house and give me hugs. They were always happy to see me. No matter how crappy my day had been, a visit with them would make me feel much better. They really are like adopted family. Then they moved a couple of states away.

i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-07 02:01:31 PM  
Repo Man:

That may be true for you, and if it is, I envy you. While I realize there are worse things than being single, I love women, and I'd love to have a family. For me, trying to pretend otherwise would be like Aesop's The Fox and the Grapes. When I had a friend who lived nearby, I loved being "Uncle Repo Man" to his kids. His girls would hear my car coming up the street, and run out of the house and give me hugs. They were always happy to see me. No matter how crappy my day had been, a visit with them would make me feel much better. They really are like adopted family. Then they moved a couple of states away.

[i39.tinypic.com image 850x283]



So go get yourself a relationship.  You're right at the age where a lot of people get divorced, so there are sure to be millions of divorcees looking for Mr. Right, or even Mr. Close Enough.  Don't be embarrassed to hit the online dating sites either; they actually work.  It might be too late to have kids of your own (if whoever you find is your age), but she might already have kids from a previous marriage, if you really want a family.

All I'm saying is feeling sad about what you don't have ain't gonna make your life easier.  Figure out what you love doing, more than anything else, the one thing that you like the most, and do that a lot.  You'll soon find yourself happy, doing what you love doing, and that's the biggest damned aphrodisiac in the world.  Do you like hiking?  Skiing?  Reading?  Cooking?  Whatever you enjoy, do a lot of it (unless it's shooting heroin into your eyeballs or something like that) and make contact with others who enjoy the same things.  Put that hobby in your online dating profile.  It doesn't matter how strange others might think your hobby is; to someone out there, it's the coolest thing in the world.  Find that person and you're golden.

Good luck.
 
2013-07-07 02:10:14 PM  

FloydA: I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single.  I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility.  Nobody else has access to my bank account.  I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else.  My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.


THIS.
 
2013-07-07 02:14:38 PM  

Mouser: And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. (Matthew 5:29-30)

Not sure if Jesus was referring to spanking it to "Backdoor Sluts 9" here, but it's a possible interpretation.


Sure, but if you're going to take the Bible literally why not castrate yourself? It's not like there isn't precedent for such an action; Origen did it, basing his decision on precisely that passage of the Sermon on the Mount, and he's considered one of the Church Fathers.
 
2013-07-07 02:17:12 PM  

quatchi: FloydA: I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single.  I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility.  Nobody else has access to my bank account.  I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else.  My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

THIS.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:27:20 PM  
i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 02:42:19 PM  

CaptSS: encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)

This one allows you to set how many images you want and the size. I find if I set it over 1000 FF crashes.

NSFW

http://random-images-from-imgur.free-forum-or-site.com/


Just what I need.  Another internet time waster!

THANKS!

but not really
 
2013-07-07 02:42:48 PM  

FloydA: Bucky Katt: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

That is so sad.

I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single.  I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility.  Nobody else has access to my bank account.  I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else.  My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

To each his/her own.


Same here.  I like the concept of having a girlfriend, and I try it again from time to time, but in practice, it's just not my thing.  I like hanging out with my female friends, and I definitely like sex, but relationships are like turning your hobby into a profession:  Nice idea, but it means turning something you do when you want to into an obligation, something you MUST do even when you'd rather do something else.  One of the great parts about hanging out with male and female friends is that you can go out to the bar with them when you want, but if you'd rather just go home and read Fark/play videogames/watch some TV/whatever, you can do that instead.  I like getting to spend time alone.  I consider the extra money it takes to not live with a roommate to be a wonderful investment.  Why would I sign on for what amounts to a roommate with additional effort involved?
 
2013-07-07 02:51:26 PM  

CaptSS: encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)

This one allows you to set how many images you want and the size. I find if I set it over 1000 FF crashes.

NSFW

http://random-images-from-imgur.free-forum-or-site.com/


that's awesome
 
2013-07-07 02:54:01 PM  

FloydA: I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single. I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility. Nobody else has access to my bank account. I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else. My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

To each his/her own.


---

I understand that sentiment completely from a mindset/preference standpoint, but...what about certain practical situations where you may need someone else's help?  Like having to be hospitalized for a few days?  I feel like you would need the assistance of a partner, or at least a very good friend, which requires forging a solid relationship ahead of time, which always requires some two-way sacrifice.  Even if you aren't crazy about the personal interaction, it may be something everyone needs to do in order to take care of themselves.

Hopefully at the very least you have some same-generation family members who would be willing to help you (and vice versa). This kind of stuff probably becomes even more of an issue with age.
 
2013-07-07 02:54:10 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: nburghmatt: i could never live with conflicting thoughts. i would quit porn or quit being Christian, maybe find a more reasonable church. not just fight myself and start trashing the home office.

PC LOAD LETTER WHAT THAT MEAN?


It means you can't print out porn until you load more paper.
 
2013-07-07 03:14:06 PM  

PC LOAD LETTER: Jon iz teh kewl: nburghmatt: i could never live with conflicting thoughts. i would quit porn or quit being Christian, maybe find a more reasonable church. not just fight myself and start trashing the home office.

PC LOAD LETTER WHAT THAT MEAN?

It means you can't print out porn until you load more paper.


when i was 14 i printed out a nude girl in black and white on my dot matrix printer and fapped to it peacefully in the bathroom.  most embarrassing moment of my life
 
2013-07-07 03:14:27 PM  
He looks sexually frustrated.
 
2013-07-07 03:16:06 PM  

Yankees Team Gynecologist: FloydA: I can't speak for him, but I am very happy to be single. I can sleep in on weekends, get drunk in the middle of the day (or for that matter, first thing in the morning) if I want to, skip shaving for a few days, wear whatever I want, fart without apologizing, and I always know exactly how much of the electric, water, and phone bills are my responsibility. Nobody else has access to my bank account. I can sit and read or goof off on Fark all day and nobody tells me I should be doing something else. My life is my own, and that's pretty great.

I understand that many people need others in order to feel happy, and that's fine for them, but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want.

To each his/her own.

---

I understand that sentiment completely from a mindset/preference standpoint, but...what about certain practical situations where you may need someone else's help?  Like having to be hospitalized for a few days?  I feel like you would need the assistance of a partner, or at least a very good friend, which requires forging a solid relationship ahead of time, which always requires some two-way sacrifice.  Even if you aren't crazy about the personal interaction, it may be something everyone needs to do in order to take care of themselves.

Hopefully at the very least you have some same-generation family members who would be willing to help you (and vice versa). This kind of stuff probably becomes even more of an issue with age.



I bought a house and split it into two flats and gave the downstairs flat to my fictive brother and his kids.  He drove me to and from the hospital last time I needed surgery.  Don't mistake my love of privacy for a life of complete solitude.

I want to be sure that you grasp the difference between being a very private person who is happiest when alone and a "miserable person who has no friends."  I am not missing anything in life.  Sociable people always seem to think I must be sad and depressed because I spend a lot of time by myself.  I'm not.  I only get sad and depressed when I'm stuck in a crowd.  The things that make sociable people happy make me extremely uncomfortable.  I am not longing for company; I actually wish people would stop trying to get me to socialize - I really don't like it.  I understand that it's fun for you, but it is not fun for me.  I teach for a living, and talking to students is my job.  I'm happy to do it, and I really do love my job, but it's what I do for money.  I'm not about to socialize on my own time.  You want me to go someplace and talk to a bunch of strangers?  Fine, pay me.  (That's a joke.)
 
2013-07-07 03:18:31 PM  

supayoda: He looks sexually frustrated.


I sure hope so.  The alternative is that he's sexually active, and that is just too horrifying to contemplate.
 
2013-07-07 03:18:39 PM  

doyner: I'm thinking...a guy with your kind of mind...should have the land crab. Excellent seafood.


LOLwut?
 
2013-07-07 03:29:52 PM  

Jon iz teh kewl: PC LOAD LETTER: Jon iz teh kewl: nburghmatt: i could never live with conflicting thoughts. i would quit porn or quit being Christian, maybe find a more reasonable church. not just fight myself and start trashing the home office.

PC LOAD LETTER WHAT THAT MEAN?

It means you can't print out porn until you load more paper.

when i was 14 i printed out a nude girl in black and white on my dot matrix printer and fapped to it peacefully in the bathroom.  most embarrassing moment of my life


I used to call up those Penthouse phone sex recordings and fap to those when no one was home. There were several great catalogues around the house as well. This is what we had to deal with. Now kids get it handed to them on a silver platter. Bastards.
 
2013-07-07 03:43:58 PM  

Elmo Jones: doyner: I'm thinking...a guy with your kind of mind...should have the land crab. Excellent seafood.

LOLwut?


www.pitch.com
 
2013-07-07 03:49:32 PM  

Elmo Jones: doyner: I'm thinking...a guy with your kind of mind...should have the land crab. Excellent seafood.

LOLwut?


As your attorney, I advise you to take a hit out of the little brown bottle in my shaving kit. You won't need much, just a tiny taste.
 
2013-07-07 03:55:41 PM  

FloydA: I want to be sure that you grasp the difference between being a very private person who is happiest when alone and a "miserable person who has no friends." I am not missing anything in life.


Definitely--hence the first ten words of my original post.

As I tried to emphasize, however, there can be purely practical situations where you need to lean on others. Leaning on others generally requires giving up something in return, even if it's just putting in facetime with them that might feel gratuitous to the satisfied loner.

The phrase from your earlier post "but I consider Fark to be all the social life I need or want" is why I wondered if you had that base covered, so to speak, because usually having it covered requires maintaining at least 1 or 2 friends.  It sounds like you DO have that covered by your well-maintained relationship with your friend/brother and his family, which is great.
 
2013-07-07 05:01:43 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries:


Came for this, leaving satisfied.

/Come on, he is in the closet, right?
 
2013-07-07 05:39:54 PM  
Did anyone else read that as "First Fappist Church at the Mall" ?
 
2013-07-07 06:55:12 PM  
no wonder churches are full of women these days.  the pastor is licking their asses like a shameless dog
 
2013-07-07 09:31:34 PM  

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


Apparently Imgur is full of video game screen shots, pictures of Japanese pop stars, some cats/manga/cat manga, and dicks. Good to know.

/actually pretty cool - image randomizers are addicting.
 
2013-07-07 09:57:07 PM  

mikebdoss: encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)

Apparently Imgur is full of video game screen shots, pictures of Japanese pop stars, some cats/manga/cat manga, and dicks. Good to know.

/actually pretty cool - image randomizers are addicting.


You should try doing a puu.sh search as well, it's more boring and there's so many screenshots, but you can find things very crazy. The annoying thing about puu.sh search is that it's manual. I have to change http://puu.sh/27aaa manually to 27aab or 30abc or whatever
 
2013-07-08 12:03:22 AM  
Seriously? 80%? Wow, OK. My advice. First, update your Flash and Quicktime drivers. Second, make sure "SafeSearch" is off on Google. If you're still struggling, consider upgrading your bandwidth. If all else fails, ask a local teenager for tech support. Also, their favorite sites.
 
2013-07-08 12:18:53 AM  
Destruction? Porn? "Gain a foothold into your childs' mind?" Destroy my computer?
What a farktard!

Mind you, he looks kinda gay - not that there's anything wrong with that ... but really??
 
2013-07-08 02:20:36 AM  
Doyner FloydA

www.reactiongifs.com
 
2013-07-08 12:45:00 PM  

syrynxx: Dear pastor, I am a lousy and infrequent cook, and my husband keeps eating at restaurants instead of at home. How do I stop him from eating elsewhere?


Isn't the argument usually: men watch porn whether or not they're happy with their sex lives and women are supposed to just accept it?

For the record, I'm totally fine with men watching porn. But I thought we all agreed it's not the woman's "fault".
 
2013-07-08 12:49:49 PM  
Wait a sec: fundamentalist Christians should destroy their computers?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-08 01:19:06 PM  

Elmo Jones: Doyner FloydA

[www.reactiongifs.com image 200x198]


When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
 
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