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(The Raw Story)   Pastor Hipster Guy Fieri urges destruction of computers after witnessing the effects of pornography firsthand, other hand   (rawstory.com) divider line 264
    More: Stupid, porn addiction, computers  
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22808 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 12:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



264 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-07 12:36:59 AM
2,000 years of Christianity in order to find one's ministry at the mall.
 
2013-07-07 12:37:08 AM
 
2013-07-07 12:37:32 AM

skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]


I don't LOL much, but LOL.

Seriously, I LOL'd, and I think my roommate in the living room thinks I've lost my mind.
 
2013-07-07 12:37:47 AM

Thanks for the Meme-ries:


And I read that in his voice because of your pic bambi. Titty Sprinkles.
 
2013-07-07 12:38:38 AM
cdn.fd.uproxx.com
 
2013-07-07 12:39:30 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 12:40:38 AM

jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?


Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation
 
2013-07-07 12:40:48 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.

[www.feistees.com image 358x300]


That is entirely too awesome for words.
 
2013-07-07 12:41:23 AM
Titty sparkles
 
2013-07-07 12:41:57 AM

thisisyourbrainonFark: DoctorCal: Satanic_Hamster: By "stashes" he means "external hard drives' right?

Meh. Stash, cache.

[media1.giphy.com image 470x270]

Splash.

[www.feistees.com image 358x300]


global3.memecdn.com
 
2013-07-07 12:42:26 AM
DJ Kittypie here to pop you some appropriate smoke.

Avenue Q - The Internet is for....

I would like to thank DARPA and the All-American Taxpayaz for this fine opportunity to w00t.
 
2013-07-07 12:44:19 AM

rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation


IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.
 
2013-07-07 12:48:11 AM
Standing up to temptation and not taking the bait is a moral virtue.

Destroying anything that might lead you into temptation is a crutch.

Peroxide Jesus Douchebag is a moral cripple. Too bad for him I'm not Christian, so I don't have to forgive him.
 
2013-07-07 12:48:24 AM
" pornography's devastating effects on a man, his marriage, his home, his job and his leadership within the church."

Porn doesn't have any of the stated effects. The reaction of other people to it does.
 
2013-07-07 12:49:08 AM
"Wrestling with God" is the message topic tomorrow with Pastor Jerry in the pulpit. Dot miss it!
 
2013-07-07 12:51:29 AM
Subby, you magnificent bastard.

+1

Now to give my alts TF to vote more...
 
2013-07-07 12:51:39 AM
Tonight we're rollin' on downloads, dildo's and dongs.

i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 12:51:40 AM
Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:05 AM
Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:46 AM

ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.


That's not porn, that's totally church encouraged "marital aids".  I think there's even some fundie companies out there that'll ship rubber dongs and softcore for the betterment of your spiritual union.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:49 AM
So every time you destroy your porn stash god kills bits?
 
2013-07-07 12:54:51 AM

Oldiron_79: rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation

IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.


That rule of thumb may not apply to other crusaders, but when it comes to pastors, I've never seen it not be true. The only possible exception would be the pastor who preached against alcohol after growing up with abusive alcoholic parents, but even that was still projecting his own issues on everyone else.
 
2013-07-07 12:54:58 AM
This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.
 
2013-07-07 12:57:12 AM
The only parts of the headline I read were "Guy Fieri" and "porn".
I found the article disappointing.
 
2013-07-07 12:57:13 AM

FloydA: Tonight we're rollin' on downloads, dildo's and dongs.

[i105.photobucket.com image 640x426]


i291.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 12:57:34 AM

Bonzo_1116: ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.

That's not porn, that's totally church encouraged "marital aids".  I think there's even some fundie companies out there that'll ship rubber dongs and softcore for the betterment of your spiritual union.


Supernatural WEALTH TRANSFER!
 
2013-07-07 12:57:53 AM

ReapTheChaos: Why is the emphasis on men and their sons? Women watch porn too. If he wants to do his followers a service he should counsel women on how watching porn with their husband can better their sex lives and their marriage.


it is the thoughts of men masturbating that causes him to stray.
 
2013-07-07 12:58:04 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 12:58:11 AM

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.




Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.
 
2013-07-07 12:59:59 AM

themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.


How's your congregation goin?

/soosh happening tonight???
 
2013-07-07 01:00:00 AM

PaulieattheTap: This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.


"Shuffling off"? Is that what they call it now?
 
2013-07-07 01:00:47 AM
My only concern would be civilization losing productivity from men losing willpower with instant sexual gratification so easy to achieve. You could work and try to impress a woman, or you could just fap and spend that money or time on a hobby.
But I don't think it has too much of an influence, Japan is still doing well with those herbivore men.
 
2013-07-07 01:02:45 AM

Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.



Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.


How come?
 
2013-07-07 01:03:29 AM

rynthetyn: Oldiron_79: rynthetyn: jaytkay: So badplasticsurgery.jpg or gaydar.gif?

Go with the plastic surgery one. The straight pastors preach against porn, the gay/bi ones preach against gays. Since he's ranting about porn, it means he's probably wanking it to the nastiest hardcore straight porn.

/whatever a pastor preaches against is his biggest temptation

IDK about your logic, I mean that would mean Carrie A. Nation was a total Farkette level Alcoholic.

That rule of thumb may not apply to other crusaders, but when it comes to pastors, I've never seen it not be true. The only possible exception would be the pastor who preached against alcohol after growing up with abusive alcoholic parents, but even that was still projecting his own issues on everyone else.


Make no mistake, even though alcohol isnt thought of as a" Jeebus" issue today it was THE jeebus issue of its day, it was like the abortion of its day.
 
2013-07-07 01:04:43 AM

jaytkay: PaulieattheTap: This guy needs to see the 100 yr old granny who wants dick.

/ shuffling off now.

"Shuffling off"? Is that what they call it now?


Five knuckle shuffle
 
2013-07-07 01:05:42 AM

God-is-a-Taco: My only concern would be civilization losing productivity from men losing willpower with instant sexual gratification so easy to achieve. You could work and try to impress a woman, or you could just fap and spend that money or time on a hobby.
But I don't think it has too much of an influence, Japan is still doing well with those herbivore men.


Brought to you by the Space Pope.

Also DONT DATE ROBOTS.
 
2013-07-07 01:07:03 AM
A gay pastor saying that porn is wrong?  Oh the irony!
 
2013-07-07 01:08:00 AM

maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.


5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.
 
2013-07-07 01:08:11 AM
FTFA: He's begun taking names on his website of men who pledge to destroy their porn stashes - and even their computers - to avoid the temptation.

No, you stupid farkstick. You don't avoid temptation, you overcome it.
 
2013-07-07 01:11:20 AM

jaytkay: skinink: [imageshack.us image 650x488]

[lh3.googleusercontent.com image 367x492]


"Disk Cleanup"?

Eeew, no thanks.
 
2013-07-07 01:12:43 AM

encyclopediaplushuman: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Porn? It's that for people who still haven't discovered Snapchat?

Or Imgur Randomizer (nsfw, you can and will find porn using it, often)


i.imgur.com
Um, yeah. Whatever.
 
2013-07-07 01:12:51 AM

Benevolent Misanthrope: maniacbastard: I think that guy watches too much porn.

5 gets you 10, that guy is wanking it to the most unspeakably deviant porn out there.


No bet. Especially after looking at his picture. I'd wager at the very least he's into forced cocksucking.
 
2013-07-07 01:13:08 AM

JenFromTheWood: Repo Man: themindiswatching: Maybe, just maybe, we should be fapping less often and spending more time with our SOs.

Some of us do not have, and will never have, an SO.

How come?




I'm sure there are as many reasons as there are sad lonely men who have completely given up. Speaking for myself, the film The Forty Year Old Virgin was remarkably like seeing my life on the big screen, except for the happy ending part. And now I'm 47, and bald, and I only have a relatively modest income. I don't think I could get what I want, and I don't think I would want what I could get. Profile pic is from 1989, when I did briefly have a girlfriend. So, yeah.

i40.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-07 01:16:07 AM

Pray 4 Mojo: First Baptist Church at the Mall

/Awesome.
/With Awesome Sauce.


Streetview reveals it isn't a mall, but the whole building is the church, it seems like the building used to be a mall though judging by it's design. Megachurches always frighten me like that, how they re-purpose a building that wasn't designed to be a church and make it into a super sized church; along with their beloved prosperity doctrine, disgusting pandering attempts to gain converts/church attendance (such as the Hipster-looking pastor), and blame the people they don't like (gays, other religions, athiests, poor people) of all the problems in the world, some of which that they create.
 
2013-07-07 01:16:26 AM
So it' wrong for a man to watch porn? But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?
 
2013-07-07 01:17:17 AM
Methinks he doth protest too much.
 
2013-07-07 01:18:40 AM
Barfmaker:

You may even need to destroy your present computer. I realize that can be an expensive move, but it may be necessary if you are serious about living porn-free.

Does he have no idea why I even bothered to buy a computer in the first place? What does he think I do with this thing, maths?


Worst part being, I actually DID get into computers to do math. The porn was just a sweet, sweet bonus.

That being said, this whole Vulgate technology thing led to the widespread dissolution of the priesthood and personal connections with God. Peace Be Upon Him may he forbid personal understandings of sex forever, and pass them through people who don't know diddly about it.
 
2013-07-07 01:22:39 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-07 01:23:14 AM

alice_600: But when I a woman watch two gay guys on the internet play doctor and ties one up for a prostate massage I'm okay right?


No.  There are several things wrong with that.  Grammar is only the tip of the iceberg.
 
2013-07-07 01:24:06 AM

TV's Vinnie: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 272x345]


Not catching the sarcasm in that picture, are you?
 
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