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(Daily Mail)   The creamy deliciousness of Nutella is back on the market. Sorry, what? Oh, okay, Nigella is back on the market. The creamy deliciousness of Nigella   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 95
    More: Spiffy, Nigella Lawson, Charles Saatchi, Nutella, art collectors, throat, disappointments  
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14557 clicks; posted to Main » on 07 Jul 2013 at 3:15 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



95 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-06 11:29:38 PM
Delicious?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-06 11:30:45 PM
[whynotboth?]

Nigella slathered in Nutella FTW.
 
2013-07-06 11:36:58 PM
Nigella please.
 
2013-07-06 11:39:41 PM
What a trashing farking article.
 
2013-07-06 11:58:56 PM
And he never eats any of the puddings she makes.

THIS IS THE REAL TRAGEDY HERE
 
2013-07-07 12:00:43 AM

kxs401: What a trashing farking article.


There's a reason it's called the Daily Fail.
 
2013-07-07 12:56:43 AM

Alunan: Delicious?

[i.imgur.com image 450x620]


i2.kym-cdn.com
 
2013-07-07 01:14:53 AM
Thankfully, some of her looks live on in her daughter.
 
2013-07-07 03:17:11 AM
Peoplethatannoyyousouthpark.jpg
 
2013-07-07 03:19:59 AM
Sexy thickness.
 
2013-07-07 03:20:19 AM
I really wish I had something clever here. Save me, O-bi-Fark-kenobi, you're my only hope.
 
2013-07-07 03:21:26 AM
Nigella vs Giada

FIGHT!
 
mjg
2013-07-07 03:27:08 AM
I'd hit that yummy mommy.
 
2013-07-07 03:34:37 AM
I'm pretty sure my aunt had to go to the hospital with a bad case of Nigella.
 
2013-07-07 03:34:38 AM
Sptiffy
 
2013-07-07 03:38:13 AM
Sigh. Yet another article about the only fat woman in England that all Farkers would bang, whilst turning their noses up at the rest of the fat messes on that island.
 
2013-07-07 03:40:57 AM
I always flee to a bolthole, as well, after my nose has been properly tweaked.

Was that written in cockney or something? I have no idea what tweaking a nose involves. I looked up bolthole-the word does make sense and is a rather amusing homonym.

This  line was straight from the article (was not quoting anyone):

"Ms Lawson is not aware of the divorce ultimatum being issued by her husband today and will be devastated by his claim that she is somehow to blame for failing to speak out in his defence."

A newspaper that can predict people's emotions and that acts as a personal courier of divorce papers for the wealthy!

The fact that the article was written is far more fascinating than its content.
 
2013-07-07 03:42:40 AM
She's always welcome at my house.
 
2013-07-07 03:49:37 AM
Who? Should I know this person, or is this some kind of "Dude, Fifty Shades of Grey is like the best book evar" phoniness?
 
2013-07-07 03:53:12 AM
Good.

Nigella deserves better than this colossal douchebag.
 
2013-07-07 03:55:57 AM

Barfmaker: Nigella please.


Came here to post this. +1

/I can say this without being racist because I have a few black friends.
 
2013-07-07 04:01:53 AM
My wife says the formula for Nutella changed at some point, and it's no longer as good. I say she's, er, nuts, but I allow for the fact that I don't care for it as much as I did when I was younger. I account for this mainly due to my more refined palate as I've aged, though, rather than any actual change to the product itself.

What say you Farkers? Is today's Nutella substantially different than the Nutella of two decades ago?
 
2013-07-07 04:02:07 AM

Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!

 
2013-07-07 04:18:23 AM

GuidoDelConfuso: My wife says the formula for Nutella changed at some point, and it's no longer as good. I say she's, er, nuts, but I allow for the fact that I don't care for it as much as I did when I was younger. I account for this mainly due to my more refined palate as I've aged, though, rather than any actual change to the product itself.

What say you Farkers? Is today's Nutella substantially different than the Nutella of two decades ago?


I think at some point Ferrero started manufacturing on this continent (North America) it started tasting different. Try letting the jar "age" a while, maybe a year or so. Seems to work with these new-fangled lubed-up Swedish fish.
 
2013-07-07 04:18:43 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!


I nominate Lorraine Pascale as the referee.
 
2013-07-07 04:29:50 AM
Frankie Boyle will be happy to hear this.
 
2013-07-07 05:15:41 AM
Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?
 
2013-07-07 05:18:54 AM

bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?


I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.
 
2013-07-07 05:20:24 AM

Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.


Lemme guess, he's famous for making a lot of money.
 
2013-07-07 05:26:26 AM

bunner: Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.

Lemme guess, he's famous for making a lot of money.


Article says he's an art collector and former ad executive.. but I doubt anyone had heard of him, until he laid his hands on her throat in public a few weeks back.
 
2013-07-07 05:31:14 AM

Alunan: Delicious?

[i.imgur.com image 450x620]


that would be funny if they used blueberry instead of strawberry.  and bits of Eggo Waffle.
 
2013-07-07 05:36:05 AM

Alphax: bunner: Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.

Lemme guess, he's famous for making a lot of money.

Article says he's an art collector and former ad executive.. but I doubt anyone had heard of him, until he laid his hands on her throat in public a few weeks back.


He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.

So (older) Brits really ought to have heard of him.
 
2013-07-07 05:41:58 AM

opiumpoopy: He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.


Oh joy.
 
2013-07-07 06:06:41 AM

kxs401: What a trashing farking article.


Consider the source.

opiumpoopy: He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.


Ah. So he's merely showing the usual Conservative respect for women.
 
2013-07-07 06:14:33 AM
I would have loved to see Nigella divorce Charles, and get as much money out of him as possible (those choking pictures would help with that). Then, since Nigella hardly needs any more money herself, she could donate it to some charity that helps the victims of domestic violence. That would amuse me.

I'm amazed at the people who have never heard of Saatchi & Saatchi. Charles co founded that with his bother Maurice. Seems he has lost his touch though, since his pitch for the 'playful tiff' went down like a lead balloon.

Oh well, I guess he now has time to go see if Tracey Emin has some used toilet paper she wants to call art.
 
2013-07-07 06:27:18 AM

opiumpoopy: Alphax: bunner: Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.

Lemme guess, he's famous for making a lot of money.

Article says he's an art collector and former ad executive.. but I doubt anyone had heard of him, until he laid his hands on her throat in public a few weeks back.

He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.

So (older) Brits really ought to have heard of him.


He's also an extremely powerful figure in the art world whose opinion can make or break a contemporary artist's career. He's the one who is responsible for the overrated hack that is Damien Hirst having a successful career.
 
2013-07-07 06:38:34 AM
She needs a young farker to tear her ass up(knock her noodle back)
/36 and passed the point of young farker
 
2013-07-07 06:46:46 AM
This thread is bound to improve once the connoisseurs arrive with pictures that will demonstrate Nigella's deliciousness.
 
2013-07-07 06:49:13 AM
obvious and very well know link, too good to miss if you haven't seen it...

Nigella talks dirty
 
2013-07-07 06:51:00 AM
Wait, HE is divorcing HER?
 
2013-07-07 07:00:41 AM
This thread smells fat.
 
2013-07-07 07:09:37 AM
Men who hit women are pussies.

dready zim: Wait, HE is divorcing HER?


Lol men like that think they're saints when they're really monsters.
 
2013-07-07 07:17:52 AM

dready zim: Wait, HE is divorcing HER?


Yes, obviously it is all her fault for making him choke her in public, and causing him look bad in the public eye as a result.
 
2013-07-07 07:20:48 AM

quatchi: [whynotboth?]

Nigella slathered in Nutella FTW.


this thread is useless without pics
 
2013-07-07 07:26:49 AM
"I done told to you get back here ANNA MAE!"
 
2013-07-07 07:52:31 AM
i'd make a cream pie with her.
 
2013-07-07 08:08:21 AM
DRTFA, but I read another one and this is apparently the incident that led to her husband deciding it was all her fault:

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/nigella-lawson-photos-see-shock in g-1955564

(slide show of him squeezing her throat and tweaking her nose in a restaurant without knowing pics were being taken)

He looks like a jackhole. Apparently she was supposed to tell the press that he didn't abuse her and laugh it off, but she didn't. I'm a straight woman who appreciates her appeal and I want to punch Saatchi in the face.
 
2013-07-07 08:10:13 AM
DATS WAYCISS!!
 
2013-07-07 08:21:03 AM
Wow, what a self-serving douchenozzle.
 
2013-07-07 08:23:06 AM
What the hell, people.  This thread is about Nigella.  Where are the pics? God damn it people this isn't 'Nam, there are rules herel.

1.bp.blogspot.com

i221.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-07 08:26:39 AM

A Terrible Human: Men who hit women are pussies.


Men who hit women have broken the chains of patriarchy around their necks and have fully embraced women as their equals.
Have you hit a woman today?
 
2013-07-07 08:29:41 AM

Cheese eating surrender monkey: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!

I nominate Lorraine Pascale as the referee.


I nominate Alton Brown for ringside commentary.

"Yes, that's Giada's left pectoral muscle being gnawed on by the Englishwoman. In the UK, that muscle from a chicken is usually served with HP--or brown--sauce on a sandwich. Oddly, that same sauce is used to dress bacon sandwiches, but astute observers will note that English bacon is quite different from American and even Canadian bacon..."
 
2013-07-07 08:33:21 AM

maggoo: What the hell, people.  This thread is about Nigella.  Where are the pics? God damn it people this isn't 'Nam, there are rules herel.


That second one is AMAZING. holy hell she's hot, and I'm one of those you would call "the ghey."
 
2013-07-07 08:39:47 AM

dready zim: Wait, HE is divorcing HER?


Yes, but he's truly sorry her neck got in the way of his grip.
 
2013-07-07 08:45:44 AM

HotWingAgenda: Sigh. Yet another article about the only fat woman in England that all Farkers would bang, whilst turning their noses up at the rest of the fat messes on that island.


speak for yourself, silly putty. i'd gladly fark my way across the UK and then start all over again. Farkers that keep pretending people in other countries and states are completely different from those they see in their local supermarket = their Mom does the food shopping.
 
2013-07-07 08:45:49 AM

maram500: Cheese eating surrender monkey: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!

I nominate Lorraine Pascale as the referee.

I nominate Alton Brown Gordon "&*(W#$SD" Ramsey for ringside commentary.

 
2013-07-07 08:50:07 AM

Cheese eating surrender monkey: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!

I nominate Lorraine Pascale as the referee.


static.guim.co.uk
 
2013-07-07 08:59:49 AM
She must really be into Euro-trash men.  Look at those guys in TFA.
 
2013-07-07 09:21:55 AM

digistil: Cheese eating surrender monkey: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

TOPLESS WHIPPED CREAM AND HOT SAUCE FIGHT!

I nominate Lorraine Pascale as the referee.

[static.guim.co.uk image 460x276]


www.bestcuisine.nfo.ph

Sara La Fountain should at least rate as ring card girl.
 
2013-07-07 09:22:16 AM

Vertdang: Nigella vs Giada

FIGHT!





img12.imageshack.us

images.sodahead.com

Any questions?
 
2013-07-07 09:23:32 AM

Alunan: Delicious?

[i.imgur.com image 450x620]


WTF is that supposed to be??
 
2013-07-07 09:33:52 AM
"Hi, guys, what's going on?

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-07 09:35:03 AM

Morgellons: GuidoDelConfuso: My wife says the formula for Nutella changed at some point, and it's no longer as good. I say she's, er, nuts, but I allow for the fact that I don't care for it as much as I did when I was younger. I account for this mainly due to my more refined palate as I've aged, though, rather than any actual change to the product itself.

What say you Farkers? Is today's Nutella substantially different than the Nutella of two decades ago?

I think at some point Ferrero started manufacturing on this continent (North America) it started tasting different. Try letting the jar "age" a while, maybe a year or so. Seems to work with these new-fangled lubed-up Swedish fish.


Nutella in Italy does taste slightly different, than Nutella bought at Costco. I find this is true of a few products, pasta for example. I can buy the same brand, apply the very same exact recipe as my old aunts in Italy, and the end result just tastes different. The water maybe ?  In the case of Nutella, I think the difference may be in the bread you spread it on. IMHO, the very best way to eat Nutella is in Italy on a fresh, locally-made bun. The texture of the bread just seems perfectly made to enhance the taste of Nutella.
 
2013-07-07 09:39:06 AM
www.superfunpatrol.net
blogs.watoday.com.au


Scrumptious!
 
2013-07-07 09:41:19 AM

Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.


You need to see her show.
 
2013-07-07 09:51:32 AM
Did someone say nutella?
 
2013-07-07 10:04:08 AM
How many farkers are senile billionaires? Hmmm.
 
2013-07-07 10:21:07 AM
Can someone tell me whether he was abusing her or whether it was D/S play?
 
2013-07-07 10:33:42 AM

Alphax: I doubt anyone had heard of him, until he laid his hands on her throat in public a few weeks back.


Not true. I first heard about him in this story, which is exponentially weirder than the current story.
 
2013-07-07 10:37:21 AM

rynthetyn: He's the one who is responsible for the overrated hack that is Damien Hirst having a successful career.


This this thisity this.
 
2013-07-07 10:37:46 AM

Lexx: Can someone tell me whether he was abusing her or whether it was D/S play?


The fact that you can't read TFA and figure it out is pretty scary.
 
2013-07-07 10:39:20 AM

theorellior: This this thisity this.


I like this.
 
2013-07-07 10:49:29 AM

Krieghund: Lexx: Can someone tell me whether he was abusing her or whether it was D/S play?

The fact that you can't read TFA and figure it out is pretty scary.


Let's see, I began at "It's the daily fail, so don't believe anything", went on to "his hand's on her neck, but she's not being choked", and ended with "I'm too lazy to google this".
 
2013-07-07 10:51:25 AM

opiumpoopy: He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.


Where the UK was in the late 70's, Fletcher Reede could have put together a winning ad campaign for Thatcher.
 
2013-07-07 11:08:02 AM

God-is-a-Taco: A Terrible Human: Men who hit women are pussies.

Men who hit women have broken the chains of patriarchy around their necks and have fully embraced women as their equals.
Have you hit a woman today?


Lol are you trolling or serious?
 
2013-07-07 11:20:59 AM
Yeah, I'd love to see this one end up before a judge.
Charles: My grounds for divorcing Nigella is her failing to defend my reputation by publicly stating the photograph of me choking her was not domestic abuse.
Judge: Nigella, what is your response to this claim?
Nigella: Uhh, Charles was choking me.

Dude will be very fortunate if she only gets half his stuff.  He should face some jail time too.
 
2013-07-07 11:22:01 AM
One would think that a man with as much money as  Charles Saatchi would manage to buy a suit that fits in the shoulders.
 
2013-07-07 11:24:42 AM

Alphax: bunner: Alphax: bunner: Is it still "out of touch with pop culture" if you just haven't been able to work up any interest in those who are famous for being famous or famous for being ridiculous in 20 years?

I think she's in the 'famous for being a hot woman with a cooking show' category.  I've never seen her show, but I appreciate pics of her.

Lemme guess, he's famous for making a lot of money.

Article says he's an art collector and former ad executive.. but I doubt anyone had heard of him, until he laid his hands on her throat in public a few weeks back.


I think a LOT of people have heard of saatchi and saatchi, myself included, and I'm not evven in the industry. Didnt know this fellla in particular, but when I heard of the incident, I assumed he was an s&s founder.
 
2013-07-07 11:29:59 AM
NOBODY CARES, BRITAIN.
 
2013-07-07 11:41:42 AM
I wonder if Saatchi understands that Nigella is going to end up with most of his stuff.

His best hope is that she's so fed up with his shiat that she let's it go uncontested just to get it over with.  Though I would like to see the asshole's art collection liquidated and used to fund programs for abused women...
 
2013-07-07 11:47:23 AM
Meh.

www.gocitygirl.com
 
2013-07-07 11:51:08 AM
Who?  And who?  And who the fluck cares?  It's relationship news.  Exciting, interesting, influential and inspiring.
 
2013-07-07 11:53:50 AM

AGremlin: Meh.

[www.gocitygirl.com image 850x637]


Meh?
I'd say she's gorgeous. And I'm a straight lady.
livelovecreateinspire.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-07 11:54:56 AM
jimcofer.com
 
2013-07-07 11:56:06 AM
www.stud-center.com
 
2013-07-07 01:12:08 PM
So comes in chocolate.
 
2013-07-07 02:11:17 PM
She always looks constipated.
 
2013-07-07 02:18:32 PM

Alunan: Delicious?


I like the fact they remembered to include the asshole.
 
2013-07-07 03:11:03 PM
Hey baby...I'm back on the market too.

/Guy can dream, can't he?
 
2013-07-07 03:18:01 PM
Charles Saatchi?  he's teh guy that made the first bitcoin, am i rite?

/hi 5
 
2013-07-07 04:07:32 PM
No one has picked up on the subtext here: Nigella is Jewish. Charles is also Jewish. It's Jew vs Jew. Therefore, it'll all end in lawyers. Lots and lots of lawyers generating carefully crafted invective and making bank for it.

/Stereotypical "liberals" believe there is no problem that can't be solved by throwing more money at it. //Similarly, stereotypical "Jews" believe there is no problem that can't be solved by throwing more lawyers at it.
 
2013-07-07 05:57:33 PM

Brakefornobody: "Hi, guys, what's going on?

[i.imgur.com image 634x632]


I was going to see we'll need a bigger spoon, but I see you got this covered.
 
2013-07-07 07:50:35 PM

CheatCommando: kxs401: What a trashing farking article.

Consider the source.

opiumpoopy: He's the advertising executive who won Margaret Thatcher the 1979 election.

Ah. So he's merely showing the usual Conservative respect for women.


And he is still an arrogant wanker.
 
2013-07-08 02:38:46 AM

capt.hollister: Brakefornobody: "Hi, guys, what's going on?

[i.imgur.com image 634x632]

I was going to see we'll need a bigger spoon, but I see you got this covered.


thelastpsychiatrist.com
 
2013-07-08 12:29:49 PM
Really? He issued a public statement insisting, "B-b-but, she hit me first - you just never saw that."

Christ, what an asshole.

"I was just holding her attention." Is that some kind of Brit euphemism for "choking dat biatch?"

"I roughed her up at a restaurant but she didn't defend me in the media. Who's the real victim here? Me. It's me! No, really. What? Stop laughing." [shakes tiny fist]
 
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