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(The Atlantic)   Turns out the female sex drive is stronger than the male sex drive, except for any of the women in close proximity to you - especially if you're married, in which case you might as well read the whole article for all you'll be getting this weekend   (theatlantic.com) divider line 55
    More: Obvious, Panda porn, Roy Baumeister, monogamy, attitude change, sexology, Association for Psychological Science, female sexuality, New York Times Magazine  
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3108 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Jul 2013 at 8:29 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



55 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-05 05:05:16 PM  
"This apparently puts the lie to our socially manufactured assumption that women are inherently more sexually restrained than men--and therefore better suited to monogamy. "

*Socially manufactured in every society that has survived the millennia.  Ergo there may something to this concept.  It's frustrating for us males, but that doesn't mean it's frustrating the survival of the fittest.  The town bicycle has also stood the test of time, but could be on its way out if Earth becomes a caliphate as present demographic paces portend.

Or Emily Esfahani Smith could just be wrong.  There's that.
 
2013-07-05 05:52:54 PM  

Wangiss: Or Emily Esfahani Smith could just be wrong. There's that.


No, she's correct. It's another one of those things I wish I'd known in high school.
 
2013-07-05 07:12:22 PM  
Women may be more sexually omnivorous than men, but that doesn't necessarily mean they're as hungry.

In other words, your wife wants sex. Just not always with you. Sometimes, with the sausage you just snarfed down. Or the babysitter. Or the dog. And the gardener. And, or, probably all of them, but not at the same time. Not like you.
 
2013-07-05 08:38:51 PM  
Women watching monkeys do it experience increased blood flow to their genitals.

= women have equivalent sex drive to men? What?
 
2013-07-05 08:43:13 PM  
The section that dwelled on the sexual habits of gays and lesbians was interesting.
 
2013-07-05 08:43:23 PM  
Women are hypergoumuse by nature. They want better than themselves and the established norm. If you make $140,000 a year she will want to fark a guy who makes $150,000. You have a house she wants a mansion. You have a boat she will want a yaught, and so and so on.

Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.

Don't waste your time on them, focus on your career, your goals and your happiness. Women are like buses, there is another on in 10 minutes.
 
2013-07-05 08:46:30 PM  

Hey_shut_up: Women are hypergoumuse by nature. They want better than themselves and the established norm. If you make $140,000 a year she will want to fark a guy who makes $150,000. You have a house she wants a mansion. You have a boat she will want a yaught, and so and so on.

Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.

Don't waste your time on them, focus on your career, your goals and your happiness. Women are like buses, there is another on in 10 minutes.


What I find funny on online dating sites is how it makes the unattractive women feel so attractive (due to the ratio of men:women on those sites). The sea mammals with 4 kids even have profiles saying they want a tall, rich, athletic, good looking guy. Makes me laugh hard, because a fat ass should not be demanding an athletic guy.
 
2013-07-05 08:54:44 PM  
Of course they are. If they had to put in as much work as we do just to be rejected 99.9999999% of the time, they'd lose interest too.

Hey_shut_up: Women are hypergoumuse by nature.


????
 
2013-07-05 09:00:49 PM  
The way I'm reading it is this:

*Women are less likely to consent to sex.
*When they do consent to sex, though, they are more uninhibited and have stronger urges in the actual act.
 
2013-07-05 09:10:34 PM  

Wangiss: "This apparently puts the lie to our socially manufactured assumption that women are inherently more sexually restrained than men--and therefore better suited to monogamy. "

*Socially manufactured in every society that has survived the millennia.  Ergo there may something to this concept.  It's frustrating for us males, but that doesn't mean it's frustrating the survival of the fittest.  The town bicycle has also stood the test of time, but could be on its way out if Earth becomes a caliphate as present demographic paces portend.

Or Emily Esfahani Smith could just be wrong.  There's that.


In every "society that has survived the millennia" widespread infidelity has been the norm as well.

I'm also not so sure about your demographic assumption either.
 
2013-07-05 09:16:43 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: Of course they are. If they had to put in as much work as we do just to be rejected 99.9999999% of the time, they'd lose interest too.

Hey_shut_up: Women are hypergoumuse by nature.

????

They want to marry up.
 
2013-07-05 09:34:08 PM  
Corollary:
Have lots of sex with women while you are both in college before competition for resources becomes a priority.
 
2013-07-05 09:38:15 PM  
In marriage, where women are encouraged to have sex,

I don't know why, but that sentence cracked me up.
There's just something simple and yet beautiful about it.
 
2013-07-05 09:38:21 PM  
Actually. marriage has been pretty good to me in that regard.
 
2013-07-05 09:38:26 PM  

js34603: Women watching monkeys do it experience increased blood flow to their genitals.


I'm pretty sure I'd experience increased blood flow to my genitals watching women experience increased blood flow to their genitals while watching monkeys do it.
 
2013-07-05 09:43:58 PM  
I'm dating a voluptuous, monogamous, multi-orgasmic nymphomaniac with an oral fixation who went to massage school.

Yeah, I've got my work cut out for me.
 
2013-07-05 09:44:43 PM  
The whole monogamy argument that people put forward about if it's natural, or a construct, or male dominated, or whatever is all bullshiat. Anyone with half an ounce of introspection would understand a couple of fundamental truths.

1) We all want to experience different sexual experiences.
2) We all hate the idea that someone we find sexual appealing would choose to have sex with someone other than ourselves.

#1 is why we cheat, #2 is why we try to be monogamous.

People are intrinsically selfish. Just look at what has happened now that women are earning more money in society - they are starting to cheat just as much as men and it's likely because they feel just as entitled as men do because of economic security to sleep around and go after those varied sexual encounters. Still, at the end of the day, it'd be a RARE woman or man who didn't get all butt hurt when their sexual partner gives them a pass to go and sleep with someone else.

If anything monogamy is likely a construct put in place by human beings (both genders) to avoid the emotional damage of sexual rejection since for our species, sex is tied very closely to emotional well being and sense of self.

Btw, I am not the first person to dream this up or speculate on it. In fact, it's widely accepted that the above IS the reason for monogamy as a social construct. However all the stupid articles we see are just the sensationalist bullshiat that papers love to print because it sells (or gets page views).
 
2013-07-05 09:50:20 PM  

TwistedFark: 1) We all want to experience different sexual experiences.
2) We all hate the idea that someone we find sexual appealing would choose to have sex with someone other than ourselves.


That won't end well.
 
2013-07-05 09:50:57 PM  

Wittenberg Dropout: Actually. marriage has been pretty good to me in that regard.


Same here. We've been married for 25 years and we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. If anything it's actually more often now than it was 10 years ago. We've even had it 3 or 4 times in a single day during the last few months.

Just about killed me.
 
2013-07-05 09:54:26 PM  
Bergner thinks that monogamy is society's way of constraining female sexuality. He implies that this constraint is unjust and prudish.

Oh, this guy is slick.

"Baby, you should be empowered, not constrained!  Here, let's go fark other people.  It's liberating!"
 
2013-07-05 09:55:22 PM  

Gergesa: The section that dwelled on the sexual habits of gays and lesbians was interesting.


Indeed. I spend a lot of time dwelling on the sexual habits of lesbians as well.
 
2013-07-05 10:01:30 PM  

js34603: Women watching monkeys do it experience increased blood flow to their genitals.

= women have equivalent sex drive to men? What?


So you're saying all I need to do is find some monkey porn and show it to the ladies to get them in the mood? Damn and here I've been just getting them drunk on my good liquor.
 
2013-07-05 10:06:05 PM  
women get turned on when they watch monkeys having sex and gay men having sex

And sales of gay monkey porn skyrocket.
 
2013-07-05 10:11:13 PM  

TwistedFark: The whole monogamy argument that people put forward about if it's natural, or a construct, or male dominated, or whatever is all bullshiat. Anyone with half an ounce of introspection would understand a couple of fundamental truths.

1) We all want to experience different sexual experiences.
2) We all hate the idea that someone we find sexual appealing would choose to have sex with someone other than ourselves.

#1 is why we cheat, #2 is why we try to be monogamous.

People are intrinsically selfish. Just look at what has happened now that women are earning more money in society - they are starting to cheat just as much as men and it's likely because they feel just as entitled as men do because of economic security to sleep around and go after those varied sexual encounters. Still, at the end of the day, it'd be a RARE woman or man who didn't get all butt hurt when their sexual partner gives them a pass to go and sleep with someone else.

If anything monogamy is likely a construct put in place by human beings (both genders) to avoid the emotional damage of sexual rejection since for our species, sex is tied very closely to emotional well being and sense of self.

Btw, I am not the first person to dream this up or speculate on it. In fact, it's widely accepted that the above IS the reason for monogamy as a social construct. However all the stupid articles we see are just the sensationalist bullshiat that papers love to print because it sells (or gets page views).


Yeah, I don't understand people.

Sure, being selfishly possessive of another human being is a good short-term strategy, but it really only lasts for a fraction of a single person's lifetime. In the long-term, society is a damaged vindictive mess because of that possessive attitude.

And people wonder why people are mean to each other. Well, look to yourselves.
 
2013-07-05 10:16:51 PM  

The DBS: We've been married for 25 years and we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. If anything it's actually more often now than it was 10 years ago. We've even had it 3 or 4 times in a single day during the last few months.


Uh huh. Sure. If you count brushing her arm while folding the laundry, maybe. Other than that, you're like a poster child for Middle Age Delusional Syndrome.
 
2013-07-05 10:23:18 PM  
"We're gonna watch the monkeys do it" was actually solid dating advice.

/wanna dip my balls in it
 
2013-07-05 10:23:18 PM  
Watched the first two episodes of Big Love the other day. Won't be continuing to watch that show because all it's about is a guy with his balls in a vice upon which three wives control the tightness.

Re: Online dating. Try a mutual match search versus a reverse match search. Mutual match = numerous pretty good looking women. Reverse match (women looking for a man like you) = surprisingly unattractive people.

Its absurd.
 
2013-07-05 10:28:50 PM  

Quantum Apostrophe: The DBS: We've been married for 25 years and we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. If anything it's actually more often now than it was 10 years ago. We've even had it 3 or 4 times in a single day during the last few months.

Uh huh. Sure. If you count brushing her arm while folding the laundry, maybe. Other than that, you're like a poster child for Middle Age Delusional Syndrome.


Sure, whatever makes you feel better.
 
2013-07-05 10:31:54 PM  

Hey_shut_up: Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.


It's impossible that 80% of the men on ok cupid are below average median attractiveness of the men on ok cupid. However, they 80% could be below average of the general population, if ok cupid attracts particularly unattractive men.
 
2013-07-05 10:35:32 PM  
Daniel Bergner, a journalist and contributing editor to the New York Times Magazine, knows what women want--and it's not monogamy.

Oh good, a journalist. He sounds like a qualified expert on sex research.
 
2013-07-05 10:44:45 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: Hey_shut_up: Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.

It's impossible that 80% of the men on ok cupid are below average median attractiveness of the men on ok cupid. However, they 80% could be below average of the general population, if ok cupid attracts particularly unattractive men.


OKCupid has a unique situation... More men than women and the men are the chasers. What this means is that even the real unattractive women get quite a few messages, so they think they are hot shiat. So they get unrealistic expectations and every man that isn't Brad Pitt is below average.
 
2013-07-05 10:44:54 PM  

Hey_shut_up: Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.


Just what I thought.  Women's expectations are way too high.  Yes, we all want to fark the hottie.  I want a lingerie model, and she wants Thor.  At least I know I won't be getting a lingerie model.  She still thinks she can get Thor.
 
2013-07-05 11:09:10 PM  

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: "We're gonna watch the monkeys do it" was actually solid dating advice.

/wanna dip my balls in it


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xat1GVnl8-k
 
2013-07-05 11:19:48 PM  
As strong as a small pony.
 
2013-07-05 11:27:32 PM  

Hey_shut_up: Women are hypergoumuse by nature. They want better than themselves and the established norm. If you make $140,000 a year she will want to fark a guy who makes $150,000. You have a house she wants a mansion. You have a boat she will want a yaught, and so and so on.

Hell look at the results of the survey at ok Cupid. Women stated that 80% of men are of below average attractiveness. That is mathematically impossible yet here we are.

Don't waste your time on them, focus on your career, your goals and your happiness. Women are like buses, there is another on in 10 minutes.


So we are back to the latter theory again?
 
2013-07-05 11:29:28 PM  

The DBS: Sure, whatever makes you feel better.


Oh come on, in what universe are people your age so horny?
 
2013-07-05 11:30:20 PM  

fusillade762: women get turned on when they watch monkeys having sex and gay men having sex

And sales of gay monkey porn skyrocket.


Made me think of this:

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-06 12:57:44 AM  
The brief period in the late 30's when the female sex drive is stronger than the male sex drive is known as "cougar country".

img.fark.net
 
2013-07-06 01:56:28 AM  

fusillade762: And sales of gay monkey porn skyrocket.


I prefer furniture porn.
 
2013-07-06 03:15:58 AM  
So their conclusion is that women want sex as much as men, by giving many examples of why women want sex less than men?
 
2013-07-06 03:31:58 AM  

The DBS: Quantum Apostrophe: The DBS: We've been married for 25 years and we have sex at least 2 or 3 times a week. If anything it's actually more often now than it was 10 years ago. We've even had it 3 or 4 times in a single day during the last few months.

Uh huh. Sure. If you count brushing her arm while folding the laundry, maybe. Other than that, you're like a poster child for Middle Age Delusional Syndrome.

Sure, whatever makes you feel better.


Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.
 
2013-07-06 03:37:20 AM  

Wittenberg Dropout: Actually. marriage has been pretty good to me in that regard.


Me too. Wait, what? I've never been married. OTHER marriages have been good to me. Married women always see greener grass. I assume its because you Farkers suck
 
2013-07-06 04:38:57 AM  
"Bergner thinks that monogamy is society's way of constraining female sexuality. "

Oh dear, we've stepped outside science and are now into feminist theory that assumes that society evolved in an unnatural way, rather than based on the general desires of many members of the group.

The reason that women are more monogamous than men (and just because women get the hots more doesn't mean they are acting on it) is based on biology. They have 1 womb that can produce approximately 1 child per year. A man can father (potentially) hundreds of children per year.

We have women now who are multimillionaires, but none of them, despite the fact that they can tell society to go fark itself, have a harem of men. They have one partner.

And the reason for society's different standards is this: a man who puts it about is successful, spreading his seed. A woman who puts it about is saying that she isn't too choosy about whose baby she gets in her womb.

Now, things like the pill should change this. Women should be into more recreational sex. But the fact is, we've got 100,000+ years of this being our biology and about 50 years of the pill.
 
2013-07-06 06:33:19 AM  

Quantum Apostrophe: The DBS: Sure, whatever makes you feel better.

Oh come on, in what universe are people your age so horny?


Years ago, the wife and I decided that even though we don't always agree, we'd never use sex to control the other. If one of us wants it, the other one gives it. That works out to a lot of sex even in our 40's.

All kidding aside, that's real advice for anybody that doesn't want to end up as one of those bitter middle aged people complaining about a lack of romance in the home.
 
2013-07-06 08:20:56 AM  
Just smile at them all the time... they will ALL want to fark you.  Happy=healthy.
Trick is to remember that 13% of them are actually on their period.
 
2013-07-06 08:36:01 AM  
sendtodave:
Bergner thinks that monogamy is society's way of constraining female sexuality. He implies that this constraint is unjust and prudish.

Oh, this guy is slick.

"Baby, you should be empowered, not constrained!  Here, let's go fark other people.  It's liberating!"


Step 4: AWW YISS PLAYSTATION TIME!
 
2013-07-06 09:49:45 AM  
so basically, women have their own issues...
 
2013-07-06 10:39:12 AM  
Needs more science.
Needs lot less opinion.

I feel like 90% of everything written starts out with someone who says to themselves, 'I know I'm right about X and I'm going to show everyone that my *opinion* is right.'  So, the author says, 'Female sex drive is strong, I *know* it!  I'll convince you'.

A study that shows women want to have sex less frequently?  Well, that's just evidence of SOCIETY telling women they shouldn't have sex.  So, their natural level must be higher!  And society lowers it!  But clearly, I'm CORRECT!

Also, an unrelated tidbit about monkeys?  Well clearly, that's the same thing.  It doesn't mean that 'When watching monkeys have sex, women exhibited a 20% greater increase in blood flow to sexual organs' it means *WHATEVER THE AUTHOR WANTS* - because, if someone likes monkey sex, it MUST mean that they have a stronger sex drive!
 
2013-07-06 10:46:19 AM  

Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.


Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.
 
2013-07-06 11:22:04 AM  

Bacontastesgood: Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.

Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.


Where's the whining in my post? I'm simply stating that you don't have to be unhappy in your marriage if you're willing to work at making it a success. I know a lot of people my age (45)  that are absolutely miserable in their marriages and I don't understand why they don't do anything to fix it other than to complain about how it's their spouse's fault.

Sorry your life sucks so bad. Really. I mean it.
 
2013-07-06 12:54:14 PM  

The DBS: Bacontastesgood: Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.

Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.

Where's the whining in my post? I'm simply stating that you don't have to be unhappy in your marriage if you're willing to work at making it a success. I know a lot of people my age (45)  that are absolutely miserable in their marriages and I don't understand why they don't do anything to fix it other than to complain about how it's their spouse's fault.

Sorry your life sucks so bad. Really. I mean it.


I think you misunderstood the target of those comments.
 
2013-07-06 01:23:24 PM  

The DBS: Bacontastesgood: Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.

Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.

Where's the whining in my post? I'm simply stating that you don't have to be unhappy in your marriage if you're willing to work at making it a success. I know a lot of people my age (45)  that are absolutely miserable in their marriages and I don't understand why they don't do anything to fix it other than to complain about how it's their spouse's fault.

Sorry your life sucks so bad. Really. I mean it.


Dude, we're on your side!
 
2013-07-06 03:28:40 PM  

Bacontastesgood: Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.

Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.


So show me these middle-aged people who go at it three times a day then.

Life is also too short to listen to delusional people.
 
2013-07-06 06:32:15 PM  

TwistedFark: The whole monogamy argument that people put forward about if it's natural, or a construct, or male dominated, or whatever is all bullshiat. Anyone with half an ounce of introspection would understand a couple of fundamental truths.

1) We all want to experience different sexual experiences.
2) We all hate the idea that someone we find sexual appealing would choose to have sex with someone other than ourselves.

#1 is why we cheat, #2 is why we try to be monogamous.

People are intrinsically selfish. Just look at what has happened now that women are earning more money in society - they are starting to cheat just as much as men and it's likely because they feel just as entitled as men do because of economic security to sleep around and go after those varied sexual encounters. Still, at the end of the day, it'd be a RARE woman or man who didn't get all butt hurt when their sexual partner gives them a pass to go and sleep with someone else.

If anything monogamy is likely a construct put in place by human beings (both genders) to avoid the emotional damage of sexual rejection since for our species, sex is tied very closely to emotional well being and sense of self.

Btw, I am not the first person to dream this up or speculate on it. In fact, it's widely accepted that the above IS the reason for monogamy as a social construct. However all the stupid articles we see are just the sensationalist bullshiat that papers love to print because it sells (or gets page views).


I always figured monogamy was in place so you could (in ancient times when it was more easily enforced) figure out which guy was responsible for raising/paying for the children.
 
2013-07-06 08:03:58 PM  

The DBS: Bacontastesgood: Medic Zero: Just put that guy (') on ignore, he's a troll, who is obviously in an unhappy marriage and wants to make everyone else miserable.

Troll would be if he was bullshiatting.  I think he's a genuine loser at life.  But fundamentally your advice is sound, life is too short for whiners of that magnitude.

Where's the whining in my post? I'm simply stating that you don't have to be unhappy in your marriage if you're willing to work at making it a success. I know a lot of people my age (45)  that are absolutely miserable in their marriages and I don't understand why they don't do anything to fix it other than to complain about how it's their spouse's fault.

Sorry your life sucks so bad. Really. I mean it.


I don't think they were talking about you.
 
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