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(Omaha World Herald)   Any story that kicks off with the phrase "improvised fireworks" isn't going to end well   (omaha.com) divider line 25
    More: Fail, mortar shells, University of Nebraska Medical Center, phrases  
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4099 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2013 at 10:20 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



25 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-05 09:54:40 AM  
Improvised Fireworks Device, or IFD, is also the acronym for I'm F*cking Dumb.
 
2013-07-05 10:22:07 AM  
"A man was also hurt."

That's some fine reportin', Lou.
 
2013-07-05 10:23:23 AM  
Bootleg fireworks!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRItYDKSqpQNSFW (language)

Bonus:  Jesus counter!!
 
2013-07-05 10:23:42 AM  
No, you are just uncultured.  Before this society went in for chemical paranoia in a big way, homemade fireworks was a pretty big, and surprisingly safe hobby.  "Magic with Chemistry" is a long lost classic title.
 
2013-07-05 10:24:58 AM  
"The four were taken to a hospital, but details on their conditions were not immediately available."

I'd think it was safe to say they are all critically stupid.
 
2013-07-05 10:30:33 AM  

signaljammer: No, you are just uncultured.  Before this society went in for chemical paranoia in a big way, homemade fireworks was a pretty big, and surprisingly safe hobby.  "Magic with Chemistry" is a long lost classic title.


Yeah, I have several childhood improvised fireworks stories that all ended very well. That was some fun shiat. Nothing burned down and nobody ever hurt.

/Dad was a gunsmith
//I was reloading shells when I was 7
 
2013-07-05 10:30:54 AM  
Dodge County Sheriff Steve Hespen said people were taking apart mortar shells and packing the powder into a cannon. A stick or wooden rod used to pack the powder ended up serving as a projectile when something ignited the powder, sending wooden shrapnel out from the fireworks.

Where's dittybopper from?  He said he was going to spark up the cannon with just wadding.
 
2013-07-05 10:35:37 AM  
"Improvised fireworks" display goes off without a hitch.
 
2013-07-05 10:53:42 AM  

waterrockets: signaljammer: No, you are just uncultured.  Before this society went in for chemical paranoia in a big way, homemade fireworks was a pretty big, and surprisingly safe hobby.  "Magic with Chemistry" is a long lost classic title.

Yeah, I have several childhood improvised fireworks stories that all ended very well. That was some fun shiat. Nothing burned down and nobody ever hurt.

/Dad was a gunsmith
//I was reloading shells when I was 7



Oh yea, cat fishin' with "improvised fireworks" was always a hoot down at the docks...
 
2013-07-05 10:58:24 AM  
Wouldn't it be easier and more cost effective to buy black powder instead of taking apart mortars?
 
2013-07-05 11:02:56 AM  

Xanlexian: Bootleg fireworks!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRItYDKSqpQNSFW (language)

Bonus:  Jesus counter!!


That never gets old.

I was watching it yesterday this way which is particularly funny...

http://youtubedoubler.com/8Xx8
 
2013-07-05 11:11:16 AM  
Here... hold my beer and watch this!
 
2013-07-05 11:16:08 AM  
Which end is a fuse?
 
2013-07-05 11:18:52 AM  

InsaneJelloTroll: Wouldn't it be easier and more cost effective to buy black powder instead of taking apart mortars?


Sometimes what seems obvious to most is not to some.
 
2013-07-05 11:18:56 AM  
Are you just ugly or did a cannon blow up in your face?
 
2013-07-05 11:22:53 AM  
Here is a story of one of the dumbest things I ever did in my early life - one that I'm lucky I survived...

We went riflling through the garage of a friend of ours, and found a can of black powder.  We also just happened to find some 1" diameter tent pegs.  So we sawed a couple of them off to about a foot in length, filled them with the powder, and packed the ends and included a bit of rag for a wick.

When we set the first one off, we had NO IDEA how powerful it was going to be.  It left a crater about a foot deep in the yard, and shrapnel rained down over 100 yards away.  So, when we set off the next one, we figured it was a good idea to put a garbage can on top of it.  It was a good idea.  The can shot 70 someodd feet into the sky and totally ripped apart.
As the can came back to the ground, my friends father came outside.  We all were about to shiat ourselves.

As it turns out, all he said was, "Well, I'm sorry I missed that.", then turned around and went back inside.
 
2013-07-05 11:26:35 AM  

durbnpoisn: Here is a story of one of the dumbest things I ever did in my early life - one that I'm lucky I survived...

We went riflling through the garage of a friend of ours, and found a can of black powder.  We also just happened to find some 1" diameter tent pegs.  So we sawed a couple of them off to about a foot in length, filled them with the powder, and packed the ends and included a bit of rag for a wick.

When we set the first one off, we had NO IDEA how powerful it was going to be.  It left a crater about a foot deep in the yard, and shrapnel rained down over 100 yards away.  So, when we set off the next one, we figured it was a good idea to put a garbage can on top of it.  It was a good idea.  The can shot 70 someodd feet into the sky and totally ripped apart.
As the can came back to the ground, my friends father came outside.  We all were about to shiat ourselves.

As it turns out, all he said was, "Well, I'm sorry I missed that.", then turned around and went back inside.


Me too.
 
2013-07-05 11:43:30 AM  
Sometimes it ends AWESOME, stubby.
 
2013-07-05 12:01:51 PM  

Diogenes: Dodge County Sheriff Steve Hespen said people were taking apart mortar shells and packing the powder into a cannon. A stick or wooden rod used to pack the powder ended up serving as a projectile when something ignited the powder, sending wooden shrapnel out from the fireworks.

Where's dittybopper from?  He said he was going to spark up the cannon with just wadding.


I'm fairly certain that the "something" was pounding the rammer into the charge.
 
2013-07-05 12:17:48 PM  

durbnpoisn: Here is a story of one of the dumbest things I ever did in my early life - one that I'm lucky I survived...

We went riflling through the garage of a friend of ours, and found a can of black powder.  We also just happened to find some 1" diameter tent pegs.  So we sawed a couple of them off to about a foot in length, filled them with the powder, and packed the ends and included a bit of rag for a wick.

When we set the first one off, we had NO IDEA how powerful it was going to be.  It left a crater about a foot deep in the yard, and shrapnel rained down over 100 yards away.  So, when we set off the next one, we figured it was a good idea to put a garbage can on top of it.  It was a good idea.  The can shot 70 someodd feet into the sky and totally ripped apart.
As the can came back to the ground, my friends father came outside.  We all were about to shiat ourselves.

As it turns out, all he said was, "Well, I'm sorry I missed that.", then turned around and went back inside.


Pretty much the same thing happened to me and my cousin when we were kids. We had packed a coffee can full of leftover fireworks and old rags. My aunt's reaction was the same as your friend's dad.
 
2013-07-05 01:33:35 PM  

offmymeds: durbnpoisn: Here is a story of one of the dumbest things I ever did in my early life - one that I'm lucky I survived...

We went riflling through the garage of a friend of ours, and found a can of black powder.  We also just happened to find some 1" diameter tent pegs.  So we sawed a couple of them off to about a foot in length, filled them with the powder, and packed the ends and included a bit of rag for a wick.

When we set the first one off, we had NO IDEA how powerful it was going to be.  It left a crater about a foot deep in the yard, and shrapnel rained down over 100 yards away.  So, when we set off the next one, we figured it was a good idea to put a garbage can on top of it.  It was a good idea.  The can shot 70 someodd feet into the sky and totally ripped apart.
As the can came back to the ground, my friends father came outside.  We all were about to shiat ourselves.

As it turns out, all he said was, "Well, I'm sorry I missed that.", then turned around and went back inside.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me and my cousin when we were kids. We had packed a coffee can full of leftover fireworks and old rags. My aunt's reaction was the same as your friend's dad.


Hahaha....  That's really funny.  I can't believe that someone else has a similar story.  That makes us equally reckless!!
 
2013-07-05 01:41:47 PM  

durbnpoisn: offmymeds: durbnpoisn: Here is a story of one of the dumbest things I ever did in my early life - one that I'm lucky I survived...

We went riflling through the garage of a friend of ours, and found a can of black powder.  We also just happened to find some 1" diameter tent pegs.  So we sawed a couple of them off to about a foot in length, filled them with the powder, and packed the ends and included a bit of rag for a wick.

When we set the first one off, we had NO IDEA how powerful it was going to be.  It left a crater about a foot deep in the yard, and shrapnel rained down over 100 yards away.  So, when we set off the next one, we figured it was a good idea to put a garbage can on top of it.  It was a good idea.  The can shot 70 someodd feet into the sky and totally ripped apart.
As the can came back to the ground, my friends father came outside.  We all were about to shiat ourselves.

As it turns out, all he said was, "Well, I'm sorry I missed that.", then turned around and went back inside.

Pretty much the same thing happened to me and my cousin when we were kids. We had packed a coffee can full of leftover fireworks and old rags. My aunt's reaction was the same as your friend's dad.

Hahaha....  That's really funny.  I can't believe that someone else has a similar story.  That makes us equally reckless!!


Great minds think alike?
 
2013-07-05 02:59:25 PM  

JWideman: Diogenes: Dodge County Sheriff Steve Hespen said people were taking apart mortar shells and packing the powder into a cannon. A stick or wooden rod used to pack the powder ended up serving as a projectile when something ignited the powder, sending wooden shrapnel out from the fireworks.

Where's dittybopper from?  He said he was going to spark up the cannon with just wadding.

I'm fairly certain that the "something" was pounding the rammer into the charge.


They probably didn't swab the barrel and a hot ember from the last shot touched off the new charge.
 
2013-07-05 04:44:35 PM  

puppetmaster745: JWideman: Diogenes: Dodge County Sheriff Steve Hespen said people were taking apart mortar shells and packing the powder into a cannon. A stick or wooden rod used to pack the powder ended up serving as a projectile when something ignited the powder, sending wooden shrapnel out from the fireworks.

Where's dittybopper from?  He said he was going to spark up the cannon with just wadding.

I'm fairly certain that the "something" was pounding the rammer into the charge.

They probably didn't swab the barrel and a hot ember from the last shot touched off the new charge.


Or didn't let the cannon cool down. They knew fark all about what they were doing. But the article suggests explosives just do that sometimes, rather than improper handling by a clueless dipshiat.
 
2013-07-06 07:05:05 AM  
is that emotional. or approachable?

but this i know..

i *ALWAYS* make amends when it's too late
 
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