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(Grand Forks Herald)   What's more embarrassing? Buying an artificial vagina, or being in the paper for shoplifting an artificial vagina due to being too embarrassed to buy an artificial vagina   (grandforksherald.com) divider line 133
    More: Ironic, A Fargo, artificial vaginas, Cass County, sex toys  
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7752 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2013 at 12:12 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



133 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2013-07-05 12:06:35 AM
Buying an artificial vagina. At least the guy stealing it had the good sense to be ashamed.
 
2013-07-05 12:13:27 AM
Poor woman. One of my coworkers had a hysterectomy, but they replaced her vagina as part of the procedure.
 
2013-07-05 12:14:48 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Poor woman. One of my coworkers had a hysterectomy, but they replaced her vagina as part of the procedure.


How did she lose her vagina?
 
2013-07-05 12:16:13 AM
Buy? If it floats, flies or farks, it's cheaper to rent.
 
2013-07-05 12:16:22 AM

Mangoose: Buying an artificial vagina. At least the guy stealing it had the good sense to be ashamed.


Why should anyone be ashamed of that?? Women buy vibrators all the time. What's the difference?

Though if you're really that embarrassed by one online, ffs.
 
2013-07-05 12:18:26 AM
Malone asked Wiener if he had been using narcotics or alcohol earlier in the evening, and Wiener said that he had been using ecstasy.

Heh, "Wiener".

Why do people admit this stuff to cops??
 
2013-07-05 12:18:51 AM
I think I read once, that Preperation H was the most shoplifted item because of similar embarrassment.
 
2013-07-05 12:18:54 AM
Clearly someone hasn't heard of the Internet.
 
2013-07-05 12:19:17 AM

fusillade762: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Poor woman. One of my coworkers had a hysterectomy, but they replaced her vagina as part of the procedure.

How did she lose her vagina?


Utter carelessness.
 
2013-07-05 12:19:50 AM

fusillade762: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Poor woman. One of my coworkers had a hysterectomy, but they replaced her vagina as part of the procedure.

How did she lose her vagina?


I don't know the specifics, but I do know she has like 3 kids, so it was probably pretty worn out anyway.
 
2013-07-05 12:20:16 AM
"The man, 26-year-old Christopher Wiener..."
What's in a name?
 
2013-07-05 12:20:44 AM
Getting caught. Fleshlights are cheap you farkers. They ship discretely, or so i hear. I also hear you can customise ones' order and they are a good investment in the long run. If one is to believe anecdotes.
Perhaps Kwame can break down the cost differential / benefit ratio .
 
2013-07-05 12:21:45 AM
I dunno, ask women with vibrators or dildos.
There shouldn't be any shame unless you're shopping with your mom or something.
 
2013-07-05 12:22:41 AM

bearded clamorer: I think I read once, that Preperation H was the most shoplifted item because of similar embarrassment.


I spent 17 years with hemorrhoids, and then self checkouts were invented.
 
2013-07-05 12:22:52 AM
Oh, and Hitachi magic wands actually work for actual massage. Everyone should own 2. Just in case one dies and you are really  not in the mood to go to a store or try to repair or wait for next day air.
 
2013-07-05 12:25:46 AM
I wish juries were more widespread and more practical for problem-solving like this. The judge here isn't going to give him any major time or penalties, but there are certain things he is required to hand down, without question. If real people, a randomly picked jury,  were involved, I'd like to think this would end with "Give it back or pay them the value, don't go in there again, and damn bro that is messed up."
 
2013-07-05 12:27:26 AM
sorta related: cock pumps at wallgreens always gave me the hebe jebes, even though I never bought/stole one. Except for friends
 
2013-07-05 12:28:32 AM
( reads article ) .Ah. Meth and scareded of the woman who entered the store. Romantix- the number one
named place personal ad on criaglist for odd glory hole stuff .
Yup. I stand by my first answer, but damn- thats comedy gold. I wonder just how many hours he was, um, you now, before he got bored of pocket pool and headed on down to buy himself a pocket.
 
2013-07-05 12:30:00 AM

Just another Heartland Weirdass: sorta related: cock pumps at wallgreens always gave me the hebe jebes, even though I never bought/stole one. Except for friends


They're called check-out girls, you pig
 
2013-07-05 12:30:45 AM

alienated: Oh, and Hitachi magic wands actually work for actual massage.


Yeah. THAT'S what everyone uses it for. :)

alienated: Perhaps Kwame can break down the cost differential / benefit ratio .


i690.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-05 12:31:35 AM
Still, it's better than stealing a real vagina.
 
2013-07-05 12:32:17 AM
There are many factors to consider in Vagina Risk Management. In order to manage vagina risk we must first understand vagina risk. How do you spot vagina risk? How do you avoid vagina risk and what makes it so risky?
 
2013-07-05 12:32:59 AM

God-is-a-Taco: I dunno, ask women with vibrators or dildos.
There shouldn't be any shame unless you're shopping with your mom or something.


One time I was dildo shopping with a girlfriend at Good Vibrations in San Francisco and we ran into one of my ex-girlfriends there. While not embarrassing it was somewhat awkward.
 
2013-07-05 12:34:20 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Just another Heartland Weirdass: sorta related: cock pumps at wallgreens always gave me the hebe jebes, even though I never bought/stole one. Except for friends

They're called check-out girls, you pig


You are on a farking roll today.
 
2013-07-05 12:34:24 AM
Yeah I'm going to walk in, nod to the cashier, then browse the sex shop aisles, but buying something is just too embarrassing.
 
2013-07-05 12:35:21 AM

hardinparamedic: alienated: Oh, and Hitachi magic wands actually work for actual massage.

Yeah. THAT'S what everyone uses it for. :)

alienated: Perhaps Kwame can break down the cost differential / benefit ratio .

[i690.photobucket.com image 500x375]


And kwame, if she grows cold and despondent, hardinmedic has grown tired of playing with his horsey dolls, and would like to f*ck you now.
 
2013-07-05 12:35:49 AM
lol at every part of that article. A guy named wiener gets arrested for stealing a vagina, at jail they find meth, they ask him if hes been using drugs and he says yes, ecstasy. Afterward he probably got stuck in the toilet in his cell.
 
2013-07-05 12:35:56 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Just another Heartland Weirdass: sorta related: cock pumps at wallgreens always gave me the hebe jebes, even though I never bought/stole one. Except for friends

They're called check-out girls, you pig


Brilliant! Chauvinism and Reverse Chauvinism!

You...you are THE ONE!
 
2013-07-05 12:37:07 AM

WhoopAssWayne: hardinmedic has grown tired of playing with his horsey dolls, and would like to f*ck you now.


The truth, actually, is far more horrifying. (Not really safe for work.)
 
2013-07-05 12:40:28 AM
Reminds me of an ally mcbeal episode where she shoved a tube of spermicidal jelly in her pocket and the cops came.

Nobody does e anymore. Molly, but not ecstasy.
 
2013-07-05 12:40:29 AM

hardinparamedic: WhoopAssWayne: hardinmedic has grown tired of playing with his horsey dolls, and would like to f*ck you now.

The truth, actually, is far more horrifying. (Not really safe for work.)


LoL! Yes, that was pretty disturbing. Dayam - hahaha.
 
2013-07-05 12:41:07 AM
A woman who buys a vibrator/dildo is empowered.
A man who buys an artificial vagina/fleshlight is a creepy pervert.
 
2013-07-05 12:41:39 AM

hardinparamedic: WhoopAssWayne: hardinmedic has grown tired of playing with his horsey dolls, and would like to f*ck you now.

The truth, actually, is far more horrifying. (Not really safe for work.)


Not safe at all for home, even .
As far as the Bronie, I dont think he as any ideas towards Kwame, unless he just posted one not invovling himself.
Damn, i need a beer- this is too damn deep
 
2013-07-05 12:44:14 AM
What's more embarrassing? Buying an artificial vagina, or being in the paper for shoplifting an artificial vagina due to being too embarrassed to buy an artificial vagina

Being the store that sells artificial vaginas and has to file the police  report, I would think....
 
2013-07-05 12:45:09 AM
www.machinebrain.com
 
2013-07-05 12:46:26 AM

Gyrfalcon: Being the store that sells artificial vaginas and has to file the police report, I would think....


It's a holiday and you're no fun as usual. Are you ever 'off'?
 
2013-07-05 12:47:16 AM

Gyrfalcon: What's more embarrassing? Buying an artificial vagina, or being in the paper for shoplifting an artificial vagina due to being too embarrassed to buy an artificial vagina

Being the store that sells artificial vaginas and has to file the police  report, I would think....


Theres gold in them thar dvds and sex toys. Folks are always horny. Citation : human evolution
I could make bank on toys if i had a facility to make them. And unless one is in a Guy Ritchie film- sex toys never hurt anyone
 
2013-07-05 12:47:29 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: Being the store that sells artificial vaginas and has to file the police report, I would think....

It's a holiday and you're no fun as usual. Are you ever 'off'?


Many people say I'm ALWAYS "off."
 
2013-07-05 12:48:51 AM

OgreMagi: A woman who buys a vibrator/dildo is empowered.
A man who buys an artificial vagina/fleshlight is a creepy pervert.


Yeah, pretty much.
 
2013-07-05 12:48:55 AM
"[...] buying an artificial vagina [...]"

img713.imageshack.us

Wait a second, wait a second... does this mean we're calling dildos "artificial penises" now?
 
2013-07-05 12:49:00 AM
I dunno. I admit I'd be embarrassed. But on the other hand, having been through hell with a woman, an artificial orifice just maybe isn't entirely unappealing.  But don't steal it, man. Own up to your fear of relationships and getting hurt! Perhaps I've revealed too much...
 
2013-07-05 12:49:54 AM

OgreMagi: A woman who buys a vibrator/dildo is empowered.
A man who buys an artificial vagina/fleshlight is a creepy pervert.


This!
 
2013-07-05 12:50:29 AM
Taking ecstasy to prepare for an evening with an artificial vagina. Fargo must be a hoppin' place.

What an artificial vagina might look like.

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-05 12:51:20 AM

OgreMagi: A woman who buys a vibrator/dildo is empowered.
A man who buys an artificial vagina/fleshlight is a creepy pervert.


You pretty much nailed it.

When non-fundy men hear about a woman with a vibrator the thought process is 'Wow, she must really like sex, what a cool chick, I wonder if I can get her number...' when they hear about a guy with an artificial vagina it's 'what kind of weirdo has to stoop so low that he can't get any or make do with his hand'.
 
2013-07-05 12:51:23 AM
We've got sheep at our place.
 
2013-07-05 12:52:08 AM

Gyrfalcon: WhoopAssWayne: Gyrfalcon: Being the store that sells artificial vaginas and has to file the police report, I would think....

It's a holiday and you're no fun as usual. Are you ever 'off'?

Many people say I'm ALWAYS "off."


No, 'off'' as in not putting on a show and being your self. As in not being 'on' and having to be something you think is expected of you.
 
2013-07-05 12:54:31 AM

wambu: Taking ecstasy to prepare for an evening with an artificial vagina. Fargo must be a hoppin' place.

What an artificial vagina might look like.

[i.imgur.com image 750x732]


OH MY GOD, DUDE. AT LEAST I HAD THE COURTESY TO LABEL MINE NSFW!
 
2013-07-05 12:55:07 AM
Could have been worse...

i1.ytimg.com

He could have been made to work off his debt in the play pen.
 
2013-07-05 12:56:41 AM
Meth? BEAT YOUR MEAT! glass dicks?
 
2013-07-05 12:58:17 AM
media.theweek.com
 
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