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(Chicago Trib)   Scientists learn that there isn't just one species of daddy longlegs as they previously thought; no, there are actually three distinct species ready to haunt your nightmares. SPIDER THREAD   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 89
    More: Scary, harvestmen, holistic approach, Innsbruck, species, spiders  
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3695 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Jul 2013 at 1:07 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-05 12:32:13 AM
Daddy longlegs are adorable. Why do you think we named them that?
 
2013-07-05 12:37:33 AM
I count FOUR:

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-05 12:50:16 AM
i139.photobucket.com

My classic. =D
 
2013-07-05 01:08:32 AM
 
2013-07-05 01:18:31 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-05 01:20:21 AM
daddy longlegs species (which are technically harvestmen and not spiders; they have eight legs but cannot produce silk or venom)

Wrong. Some daddy long legs are non-spider arachnids (opiliones), but that term also refers to an actual spider (pholcidae).
 
2013-07-05 01:20:43 AM
 
2013-07-05 01:23:37 AM
The article is kind of interesting. It's basically saying this is the result of a bold new direction in taxonomy, where we discover exciting new realms of biodiversity by checking to see which superficially similar animals will or won't fark each other.

Then again, I'm pretty sure I'm human, and human women won't mate with me, so it's not foolproof.
 
2013-07-05 01:26:07 AM

SomethingToDo: In the last rays of the sun,
A daddy longlegs flew;
And though his life was nearly done,
He felt as good as new:
But to him it seemed a shame
That he'd soon disappear
Without one single claim to fame
To show that he'd been here.

And so, he drifted on the breeze,
And he'd not gone too far
When he was sucked into the ventilator
Of a cinema;
And there, upon the silver screen,
a dancing man appeared
In top hat, white tie, tails and cane;
And everybody cheered.
Then up into the beam of light
The daddy longlegs flew;
And on the silver screen his shadow
Started dancing too.

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.

As the man in tails tapped out each step,
Daddy longlegs danced as well;
Until somebody swatted him
And to the ground he fell.
But as he lay there, fading fast,
He said, "What do I care?
I'm the only daddy longlegs
To have danced with Fred Astaire."

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.


I'm sure someone will be snarky but...that was lovely
 
2013-07-05 01:33:07 AM

haolegirl: SomethingToDo: In the last rays of the sun,
A daddy longlegs flew;
And though his life was nearly done,
He felt as good as new:
But to him it seemed a shame
That he'd soon disappear
Without one single claim to fame
To show that he'd been here.

And so, he drifted on the breeze,
And he'd not gone too far
When he was sucked into the ventilator
Of a cinema;
And there, upon the silver screen,
a dancing man appeared
In top hat, white tie, tails and cane;
And everybody cheered.
Then up into the beam of light
The daddy longlegs flew;
And on the silver screen his shadow
Started dancing too.

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.

As the man in tails tapped out each step,
Daddy longlegs danced as well;
Until somebody swatted him
And to the ground he fell.
But as he lay there, fading fast,
He said, "What do I care?
I'm the only daddy longlegs
To have danced with Fred Astaire."

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.

I'm sure someone will be snarky but...that was lovely


Thankyou. Captain Beaky is a treasure of my childhood.
 
2013-07-05 01:36:28 AM
Why would I have nightmares about a spider with fangs so short they can't even pierce my skin?
 
2013-07-05 01:36:50 AM
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-05 01:38:36 AM
15.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-07-05 01:49:31 AM
Spiders freak me the fark out.  I know that they are good critters helping keep the bad critters at bay, but they just make me all squicky.   Movies about zombies,  werwolves, vampires, serial killers, crazy assed murderers, drug gang torture fiends, ...  no problemo.

Put eight legs on it, and I'm shiatting myself.

/ Shelob, too.
 
2013-07-05 01:54:08 AM

SomethingToDo: haolegirl: SomethingToDo: In the last rays of the sun,
A daddy longlegs flew;
And though his life was nearly done,
He felt as good as new:
But to him it seemed a shame
That he'd soon disappear
Without one single claim to fame
To show that he'd been here.

And so, he drifted on the breeze,
And he'd not gone too far
When he was sucked into the ventilator
Of a cinema;
And there, upon the silver screen,
a dancing man appeared
In top hat, white tie, tails and cane;
And everybody cheered.
Then up into the beam of light
The daddy longlegs flew;
And on the silver screen his shadow
Started dancing too.

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.

As the man in tails tapped out each step,
Daddy longlegs danced as well;
Until somebody swatted him
And to the ground he fell.
But as he lay there, fading fast,
He said, "What do I care?
I'm the only daddy longlegs
To have danced with Fred Astaire."

Daddy longlegs,
Dancing to the beat:
Daddy longlegs,
Two people, eight feet.

I'm sure someone will be snarky but...that was lovely

Thankyou. Captain Beaky is a treasure of my childhood.


Lol, now I have to Google Captain Beaky...no idea....
 
2013-07-05 02:26:15 AM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-05 02:31:43 AM
Awwww...leave the poor daddy longlegs alone. They got no webs. They got no venom. Their wee jaws aren't strong enough to pierce even our tender skin. Harvestmen are Old Skool arachnids, before those show offs with their better developed eyes, poison glands, and webbing came along with their purely predatory diets and amazing ability to leap and snatch even bats and small birds right out of the gottverdammt air. Yes, they have dainty legs, but they're essentially harmless, if sometimes stinky if you mush them up. Give them a little respect for coming onto the scene 20 million years before spiders.

Spiders? Those wee bastiches are the muscle cars of the arachnid world. Elegantly evolved for predation, with varied approaches for simply murdering the crap out of any damn thing that they see. Scorpions, they are a long tested design, and with an admirable career of brutal carnage, but spiders do it with a variety and aplomb that make them genuine stars of predation. Scorpions sting and then just rip the crap out of whatever they find. Spiders? They will build webs, they'll funnel critters to them, burrow under sand or dirt and then just leap out and grab a body and disappear with it, and then you have the jumping spiders who are are just wee tiny engines of arthopod havoc and just leap and murder the living sh*t out of critters, and then bow afterwards. Don't get me wrong, scorpions are elegant murder machines, but they're vastly simpler in their methods. They're the chainsaw murders of the arthropod world. Centipedes, mug whatever rolls their way, and I'll give it up to the ones that snatch bats out of the air. But spiders? They have class in their murder habits. Class and style.
 
2013-07-05 02:42:41 AM
i182.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-05 02:42:45 AM
 
2013-07-05 02:43:22 AM

hubiestubert: Awwww...leave the poor daddy longlegs alone. They got no webs. They got no venom. Their wee jaws aren't strong enough to pierce even our tender skin. Harvestmen are Old Skool arachnids, before those show offs with their better developed eyes, poison glands, and webbing came along with their purely predatory diets and amazing ability to leap and snatch even bats and small birds right out of the gottverdammt air. Yes, they have dainty legs, but they're essentially harmless, if sometimes stinky if you mush them up. Give them a little respect for coming onto the scene 20 million years before spiders.

Spiders? Those wee bastiches are the muscle cars of the arachnid world. Elegantly evolved for predation, with varied approaches for simply murdering the crap out of any damn thing that they see. Scorpions, they are a long tested design, and with an admirable career of brutal carnage, but spiders do it with a variety and aplomb that make them genuine stars of predation. Scorpions sting and then just rip the crap out of whatever they find. Spiders? They will build webs, they'll funnel critters to them, burrow under sand or dirt and then just leap out and grab a body and disappear with it, and then you have the jumping spiders who are are just wee tiny engines of arthopod havoc and just leap and murder the living sh*t out of critters, and then bow afterwards. Don't get me wrong, scorpions are elegant murder machines, but they're vastly simpler in their methods. They're the chainsaw murders of the arthropod world. Centipedes, mug whatever rolls their way, and I'll give it up to the ones that snatch bats out of the air. But spiders? They have class in their murder habits. Class and style.


A challenger appears!

images.tribe.net

Wish I could find a pic of the spider wasps I saw in Tanzania. Gorgeous fluorescent blue-green with bodies as big as my farking thumb.
 
2013-07-05 02:43:29 AM
media.urbandictionary.com
Hai guize, what's going on in this thread?
 
2013-07-05 03:00:52 AM
There's a little family of eighteen baby spiders hanging just above my bathroom mirror right now, so I'm not getting a kick out of these replies.

/send help soonish
//so very scared
///mommy and daddy are out there... somewhere... BUT WHAR
 
2013-07-05 03:09:00 AM
Spider thread, spider thread, doing whatever a spider thread does
 
2013-07-05 03:40:29 AM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-05 04:11:54 AM
I hate spiders, but I am drawn to spider threads. I think I take more solace in other peoples reactions. If people are more scared than I am I feel better about it.
 
2013-07-05 04:53:53 AM
Behold a female Boehner spider!

img.fark.net
 
2013-07-05 05:18:49 AM
Daddy long legs don't make their won silk?

This is news to me, as the ones we have always have their own webs.
 
2013-07-05 05:25:46 AM

basemetal: Don't click on this.

 
2013-07-05 05:26:52 AM

basemetal: Don't click on this.


mrwgifs.com
 
2013-07-05 05:33:40 AM

KickahaOta: There's a little family of eighteen baby spiders hanging just above my bathroom mirror right now, so I'm not getting a kick out of these replies.

/send help soonish
//so very scared
///mommy and daddy are out there... somewhere... BUT WHAR


What the hell are you waiting for?
i5.photobucket.com
Is this what you want?!?!!!!
 
2013-07-05 06:10:00 AM
encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.comjohannasvisions.com
johannasvisions.com3.bp.blogspot.com


 
2013-07-05 06:10:23 AM
Spending 40 minutes or so watching a spider spin a web from start to finish is time well spent.


/More time required to watch a harvestman spin a web.
 
2013-07-05 06:16:38 AM

Smoking GNU: Daddy long legs don't make their won silk?

This is news to me, as the ones we have always have their own webs.


Those are the pholcidae daddy long legs, rather than the opiliones daddy long legs.
 
2013-07-05 06:39:56 AM
500motivators.com
 
2013-07-05 06:51:31 AM
 
2013-07-05 07:12:09 AM
I went canoeing yesterday. and there were SO MANY of them big-ass spiders and their webs under this bridge, it was seriously amazing, I'm not sure exactly what kind but they were some kind of funnel-web spiders, I mean it was like something out of a spider monster  movie.
 
2013-07-05 07:25:19 AM
www.modelermagic.com
 
2013-07-05 07:30:20 AM

MagSeven: KickahaOta: There's a little family of eighteen baby spiders hanging just above my bathroom mirror right now, so I'm not getting a kick out of these replies.

/send help soonish
//so very scared
///mommy and daddy are out there... somewhere... BUT WHAR

What the hell are you waiting for?
[i5.photobucket.com image 799x530]
Is this what you want?!?!!!!


Great. Now they're building arachnid super assault carriers.
 
2013-07-05 07:39:24 AM
************EMERGENCY SPIDER SYSTEM (ESS) ACTIVATED************

A SEVERE HORRIFYING SPIDER WARNING HAS BEEN ISSUED FOR FARK THREAD# 7828027 AT 7:38 AM ON FRIDAY, JULY 5TH, 2013..

THIS WARNING CONFIRMS THE SIGHTING OF ARACHNIDS THAT WILL BE SURE TO EITHER KILL YOU IN YOUR SLEEP OR INVADE YOUR DREAMS AND CAUSE VOMITING, HEART ATTACKS, STROKE, AND/OR SOILED PANTS.

REMAIN CALM. SEEK SHELTER IMMEDIATELY AND/OR FIND WEAPONS THAT CAN TERMINATE HORRIFYING SPIDERS. APPROVED WEAPONS INCLUDE FLAMETHROWERS, OLD SHOES, NAPALM, COLLEGE ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEXTBOOKS, OR NUCLEAR MISSILES. FIND THE NEAREST WEAPON, AND REPEATEDLY SMASH THE SPIDER UNTIL IT IS COMPLETELY FLATTENED AND HAS STOPPED MOVING/TWITCHING. IF YOU CANNOT PERFORM THIS TASK, FIND THE NEAREST NON-PUSSY TO DO IT FOR YOU.

ONCE THE SPIDER IS DESTROYED, USE NUCLEAR MISSILES AND/OR GASOLINE WITH A MATCH TO BURN THE BODY, TO MAKE SURE THE SPIDER IS DOWN FOR GOOD. NAPALM IS ALSO ACCEPTABLE. REMOVE THE ASHES WITH A VACUUM CLEANER, AND MAKE SURE YOU CAUTERIZE THE VACUUM CLEANER JUST TO BE ON THE SAFE SIDE.

THIS CONCLUDES THE ESS EMERGENCY BROADCAST

******END TRANSMISSION*********
 
2013-07-05 08:23:17 AM
pajamasandcoffee.com
 
2013-07-05 08:31:50 AM

ghare: I went canoeing yesterday. and there were SO MANY of them big-ass spiders and their webs under this bridge, it was seriously amazing, I'm not sure exactly what kind but they were some kind of funnel-web spiders, I mean it was like something out of a spider monster  movie.


I may never canoe again in my life, but if I do I can guarantee that just before I step in I will remember this post, and it'll fill me with dread.
 
2013-07-05 08:35:15 AM
Spider Thread, Spider Thread,
Fills its readers full of dread.
Can it Freak readers out?
See them squirm, hear them shout!
Hey there!
There goes the Spider Thread.
 
2013-07-05 08:36:27 AM

hubiestubert: Awwww...leave the poor daddy longlegs alone. They got no webs. They got no venom. Their wee jaws aren't strong enough to pierce even our tender skin.


Most spiders will get an "Ick!" reaction from me on first sight, but daddy longlegs may as well be a damn puppy.  "OH! He's so CUTE!  I wanna hold him!"
 
2013-07-05 08:43:54 AM
If you're scared of daddy long legs, you have a problem.

Things are super fragile and harmless.
 
2013-07-05 08:56:46 AM
FEAR ME, FOR I AM YOUR APOCALYPSE
fc05.deviantart.net
 
2013-07-05 09:19:27 AM
We can add arachnologist to the list of things I never want to be.
 
2013-07-05 09:24:18 AM
Some of these pictures make me feel something crawling on my back...too scared to check...
 
2013-07-05 09:34:10 AM
At night, we have geckos that collect around our porch light to eat.  Now we have a tarantula that comes out to collect geckos to eat.
 
2013-07-05 10:03:05 AM
I don't know about anyone else, but I can't help but get itchy all over whenever I think of these little bastards.

This thread is not helping.
 
2013-07-05 10:04:28 AM

Smoking GNU: Daddy long legs don't make their won silk?

This is news to me, as the ones we have always have their own webs.



That's the problem with common names -- When *you* say "Daddy Long Legs" my guess is you're talking about an actual spider, probably one of those skinny-bodied long-legged "cellar spiders".

The article is about a different "Daddy Long Legs" that isn't even a spider, even though it's an arthropod with eight legs.
 
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