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(Sun News Network)   Teen with "very poor impulse control" busted after calling 911 for a cut he suffered kicking out a beauty shop's window to steal $50   (sunnewsnetwork.ca) divider line 31
    More: Dumbass  
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2290 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jul 2013 at 3:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



31 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2013-07-05 03:31:04 AM
Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.
 
2013-07-05 03:37:06 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.


I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.
 
2013-07-05 03:38:31 AM
Are they going to give him the forehead tattoo now?
 
2013-07-05 03:38:47 AM

99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.


They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.
 
2013-07-05 03:47:13 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.


It's moosen, you uncultured barbarian.
 
2013-07-05 03:49:18 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.


If my intuit is correct, the meese feeding season doesn't begin until late September. In other words, what language are you typing? What is/are meese? Also, I do not think intuit means what you think it means.
 
2013-07-05 03:56:33 AM

Bslim: AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.

It's moosen, you uncultured barbarian.


Like ox -> oxen? I have to admit to being uncultured. Like a bad yogurt.
 
2013-07-05 04:16:20 AM

99.998er: Also, I do not think intuit means what you think it means.


QuickBooks sucks. There, I said it.
 
2013-07-05 04:18:19 AM
Does he have a motorcycle sidecar with a nuclear warhead too?
 
2013-07-05 04:18:23 AM
Do. Not. F*ck. With. Raven.
 
2013-07-05 04:20:53 AM
If I'm fortunate enough in life to have a girl - Yours Truly Wayne*

*or whatever my real last name is
 
2013-07-05 04:29:25 AM
Effectively called the police on himself, robbed his girlfriend's mother's place of employment, couldn't handle the 5cm cut on his foot.

I think impulse control is one of his lesser worries.
 
2013-07-05 04:30:48 AM

HotWingAgenda: 99.998er: Also, I do not think intuit means what you think it means.

QuickBooks sucks. There, I said it.


If you think QuickBooks suck now, wait until you are fed to them by the Canadian government as punishment for stealing $50!
 
2013-07-05 04:45:20 AM

zcat: Are they going to give him the forehead tattoo now?


www.poorimpulsecontrol.net
 
2013-07-05 04:45:32 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: bad yogurt.


You called?
 
2013-07-05 04:55:52 AM

Bslim: AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.

It's moosen, you uncultured barbarian.


Thanks for the laughs guys! That was good!
 
2013-07-05 04:59:02 AM
Not many N.S. fans here, but just enough.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. It continues "Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night."

"No! I don't want the mangosteen" - Anderson Lake leans forward.
 
2013-07-05 05:04:43 AM
I actually had WTUSAMF tattooed on my dick. Fully hard, it reads "Welcome To United States America Mother F*cker" - but they don''t put that in the brochures.
 
2013-07-05 05:06:26 AM
Poor planning on several levels.
 
2013-07-05 05:11:15 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Not many N.S. fans here, but just enough.

"The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel."

The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category. It continues "Right now, he is preparing to carry out his third mission of the night."

"No! I don't want the mangosteen" - Anderson Lake leans forward.


Wrong author/book
 
2013-07-05 05:24:52 AM

WhoopAssWayne: Do. Not. F*ck. With. Raven.


Don't mess with Whitey.
 
2013-07-05 06:12:58 AM

bhcompy: Wrong author/book


It was 3 opening lines / 3 books / 3 authors jackass.
 
2013-07-05 06:27:23 AM
Can we stop calling 19-year-olds "teen offenders"?
 
2013-07-05 06:48:36 AM

AngryDragon: Can we stop calling 19-year-olds "teen offenders"?


Why would you?
 
2013-07-05 07:48:57 AM

Alphax: AngryDragon: Can we stop calling 19-year-olds "teen offenders"?

Why would you?


The word teenager covers anyone from the age of 13 - 19 so yeah.
 
2013-07-05 07:53:07 AM
They prefer that you call them, "morally challenged."
 
2013-07-05 08:13:40 AM

Alphax: AngryDragon: Can we stop calling 19-year-olds "teen offenders"?

Why would you?


Teen offender has a connotation of 13-18.  At 18 you are typically charged as an adult for crimes.  This isn't some middle school kid acting out, it's a 19 year old being a douchebag.
 
2013-07-05 08:21:41 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Bslim: AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.

It's moosen, you uncultured barbarian.

Like ox -> oxen? I have to admit to being uncultured. Like a bad yogurt.


Many much moosen!
 
2013-07-05 09:03:30 AM

Suede head: Does he have a motorcycle sidecar with a nuclear warhead too?


Now that I think about, whatever happened to that? There's no mention of it after his introduction.
 
2013-07-05 01:28:47 PM
I'm pretty sure this is the same kid a few threads up who survived the car accident only to have the state take away his parents.  Must have found a time machine or something.
 
2013-07-05 02:49:08 PM

Bslim: AverageAmericanGuy: 99.998er: AverageAmericanGuy: Execute this one now. No hope for redemption.

I am pretty sure Canada does not have capital punishment, but nice try. You may pick up your consolation prize from our lovely assistant backstage.

They could probably come up with something. Feed him to the meese or Intuits.

It's moosen, you uncultured barbarian.


A møøse ønce bit my sister.
 
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