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(Sun Sentinel)   Woman takes a trip down gator infested waters in an inflatable kayak. You can probably guess what happens next   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 54
    More: Florida, National Wildlife Refuge  
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10515 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2013 at 6:24 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-04 06:25:46 PM  
A very large gator fixes her cable?
 
2013-07-04 06:26:11 PM  
Hot Gator porn?
 
2013-07-04 06:26:42 PM  
Everyone suddenly broke into song?
 
2013-07-04 06:26:57 PM  
They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?
 
2013-07-04 06:28:07 PM  
Then a lion jumped out and shot her?
 
2013-07-04 06:28:54 PM  

A Shambling Mound: Everyone suddenly broke into song?


Was the kayak named "The Weasel"?

If you don't catch my drift, think about it.
 
2013-07-04 06:29:26 PM  
She fixed the cable?
 
2013-07-04 06:29:38 PM  
She had a swordfight with The Man in Black on top of a cliff?
 
2013-07-04 06:29:44 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?


Mmmm ... alligator pie.
If I don't get some, I think I'll die.
 
2013-07-04 06:31:24 PM  

A Shambling Mound: Everyone suddenly broke into song?


Pattle faster, I hear banjos
 
2013-07-04 06:32:26 PM  
Another Floridian killed in a gatored community?
 
2013-07-04 06:33:24 PM  
Gator 1=damndest thing, it smelled like fish, but tasted like an inner-tube.
Gator 2=You been punked bro.
 
2013-07-04 06:34:34 PM  

brantgoose: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?

Mmmm ... alligator pie.
If I don't get some, I think I'll die.


I could go for some gator nuggets, actually...
 
2013-07-04 06:34:40 PM  
Darwin...nope...damn...
 
2013-07-04 06:36:34 PM  
Next time just use a different boat

i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-04 06:39:34 PM  

macadamnut: A very large gator fixes her cable?


Don't be fatuous, MacAdam's Nut.
 
2013-07-04 06:39:38 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?


yes, any time a wild animal loses its fear of humans and attacks, even if not successful, it should be put down.

And as for the stupidity part, not sure where your getting that from.  There is ALOT of kayaking, boating, rafting in florida.  I've been canoeing a dozen times since I moved down here.  If perhaps, your saying she is stupid for doing it in water that has alligators, then you don't know much about florida, or alligators.
 
2013-07-04 06:39:59 PM  
Inflatable kayak?  Rent a canoe, dumbass.
 
2013-07-04 06:41:43 PM  

SwingDancer: yes, any time a wild animal loses its fear of humans and attacks, even if not successful, it should be put down.

And as for the stupidity part, not sure where your getting that from. There is ALOT of kayaking, boating, rafting in florida. I've been canoeing a dozen times since I moved down here. If perhaps, your saying she is stupid for doing it in water that has alligators, then you don't know much about florida, or alligators.


I'm from here.  "Inflatable kayak."

/Yes, I know it wasn't directed at me.
 
2013-07-04 06:43:47 PM  
Great Va-Cay?
 
2013-07-04 06:43:56 PM  

SwingDancer: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?

yes, any time a wild animal loses its fear of humans and attacks, even if not successful, it should be put down.

And as for the stupidity part, not sure where your getting that from.  There is ALOT of kayaking, boating, rafting in florida.  I've been canoeing a dozen times since I moved down here.  If perhaps, your saying she is stupid for doing it in water that has alligators, then you don't know much about florida, or alligators.


It attacked a raft, not a human, dipshiat.

And I'm from Florida, you're just another dumbass transplant who should move back to Ohio, Michigan, NY, or wherever it is you came from.
 
2013-07-04 06:44:04 PM  
yuq.me
 
2013-07-04 06:49:55 PM  
Next time leave your pool toys at home and get a real kayak.
 
2013-07-04 06:51:15 PM  
radio.foxnews.com
Meh......she got off light
 
2013-07-04 06:59:07 PM  
Tourists... a boost to the local economy and good gator chow. That's a win, win in my book.
 
2013-07-04 07:06:13 PM  
i.imgur.com

Toilet Time?
 
2013-07-04 07:12:16 PM  
Count me in with the "WTF are you doing with an inflatable kayak" crowd. I can't see that being very stable at all in the first place, let alone swamp-proof.
 
2013-07-04 07:14:13 PM  
She needed some Gator-aid?
 
2013-07-04 07:26:10 PM  

SwingDancer: yes, any time a wild animal loses its fear of humans and attacks, even if not successful, it should be put down.


Alligators are too dumb to be afraid of anything, except possibly a larger alligator.
 
2013-07-04 07:30:55 PM  
She can't have been a local. I used to live in that area and the people were "unique"...
While they may come off as weird, none of them were at that level of stupid.

They are the sort to go "kayaking" in a johnboat with a six pack and a couple shotguns.
 
2013-07-04 07:31:53 PM  
I picked up a stranded gator and kept him in my bathroom until the next day when the wildlife sanctuary opened (I live on a barrier island, miles away from any fresh water so I have no idea where he came from).

Point is, I love gators. The water is theirs in the same way that the land is ours.
 
2013-07-04 07:35:21 PM  
I'm a Floridian as well...and a kayaker. It's very common to encounter gators out and about...normally not a big deal.

Some of these inflatable kayak dealios are pretty solid, but there is just no way I'd go through a "large gator" zone in one. She sounded like a newb though.

/spent three hours on the nearly gator-free Boca Ciega Bay this morning
 
2013-07-04 07:35:23 PM  
There is a story circulating through the history of the Florida Jaycees where a group of them were attending a national convention and brought a live alligator on board. Somehow during the flight, it got out of the bag they used to smuggle it on board and was running down the center aisle of the plane.

/this is an alligator thread after all
 
2013-07-04 07:36:46 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: SwingDancer: Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?

yes, any time a wild animal loses its fear of humans and attacks, even if not successful, it should be put down.

And as for the stupidity part, not sure where your getting that from.  There is ALOT of kayaking, boating, rafting in florida.  I've been canoeing a dozen times since I moved down here.  If perhaps, your saying she is stupid for doing it in water that has alligators, then you don't know much about florida, or alligators.

It attacked a raft, not a human, dipshiat.

And I'm from Florida, you're just another dumbass transplant who should move back to Ohio, Michigan, NY, or wherever it is you came from.


Hey, now, don't drag Ohio into this. It's your state that keeps revalidating its own Fark tag.
 
2013-07-04 07:49:19 PM  
She's gonna need a bigger kayak.
 
2013-07-04 07:53:29 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: They have to "destroy" the alligator due to this dumb coont's stupidity?


Can't have him spreading word that kayaks taste good.
 
2013-07-04 08:00:05 PM  
ProTip: When boating in an area where top level predators swim, don't use an inflatable boat.
 
2013-07-04 08:07:50 PM  
An inflatable kayak.., in the Everglades?? That's a new level of stupid.
 
2013-07-04 08:29:53 PM  
Do they call her Lefty now?
 
2013-07-04 08:34:30 PM  
In a day or so once the kayak has been recovered, the story will be downgraded from "attacked by monster alligator" to "accidentally paddled into sawgrass".
 
2013-07-04 08:43:53 PM  

Optimus Primate: I'm a Floridian as well...and a kayaker. It's very common to encounter gators out and about...normally not a big deal.

Some of these inflatable kayak dealios are pretty solid, but there is just no way I'd go through a "large gator" zone in one. She sounded like a newb though.

/spent three hours on the nearly gator-free Boca Ciega Bay this morning


Ugh. And I'm here in Tampa with two half built stitch and glue kayaks just waiting for a few dry days to do the fiberglass. I'm very jealous.
 
2013-07-04 09:26:27 PM  
She gets eaten by kayaks? (clicks link) Ah, totally wrong.
 
2013-07-04 09:33:10 PM  

iheartscotch: A Shambling Mound: Everyone suddenly broke into song?

Pattle faster, I hear banjos


Pattle?
 
2013-07-04 10:18:50 PM  

iheartscotch: A Shambling Mound: Everyone suddenly broke into song?

Prattle faster, I hear banjos


Fixed?
 
2013-07-04 10:27:08 PM  
Florida law allows open carry while hunting(duh), fishing or camping. Stand your ground with those bastards.
 
2013-07-04 10:41:09 PM  
The Sun-sentinel web designer must get paid by the script.  The no-script list went off the page.

/and the video sucked so it was not worth enabling anything
 
2013-07-04 11:27:54 PM  
Came for the fixing cable jokes. Leaves satisfied.

/GF has banned that movie from our house because I recite the script word for word
//I watch it while she's at work, though
 
2013-07-05 01:07:57 AM  
If Ned Beatty couldn't make it down that river some chick in an inflatable hasn't got a chance.
 
2013-07-05 03:35:23 AM  
Don't like Kayaks much. Too darn tipsy. The larger hard shelled ones are kinda cool, though, especially with their storage compartments.

Too low in the water also. I live in Florida. I envy folks who live in other states where they can dive into a stream or lake and not have to worry about the many nasty critters living in them that can tear them apart. In Florida, you need to check the waters before you dive in.

Things in Florida can come up over the sides of most low riding Kayaks easily, ranging from poisonous water snakes, to 'gators, to sharks. Yeah. We do have sharks that will go up freshwater streams also. None stay there. We also have 'gators which will go into brackish salt water.

Anyone using an inflatable Kayak in the Florida Swamps is just begging for trouble. The majority of folks use aluminum or fiberglass boats. Airboats, if you can afford one, is the preferred craft. That way you don't have to stick to the deeper channels. An air boat can ride on the morning dew across grass. Great for those weed clogged tributaries and the occasional semi-submerged island.

Damn noisy though. Most use airplane engines and, naturally, like with an airplane, there are no mufflers. Some home built one's use car engines, which require a radiator, but again, most prefer not to attach noise limiting mufflers. They claim doing so robs them of power.

Swamp buggies were real popular for a long time. Basically a truck turned into a water going platform with big wheels that can be submerged and churn through mud. The engine, tranny and body remains high above, creating some pretty scary looking machines made out of struts, plates and pipes.

However, maintenance on a swamp buggy, especially the gearboxes, is more labor intensive than an airboat.

Swamp hunters used to festoon them with aircraft landing lights, old bucket seats in the open back and the tires of choice used to be tractor tires. They got real clever connecting the drive shaft to the gear boxes with universal joints to accomplish the sharp downward angle needed. They also broke a lot of universal joints.

After a day plowing through the swamps, you got to crack open the seals on the gear box, drain out the oil and water, clean it out, dry it up, reseal and refill it. Then you needed to regrease the assorted joints.

Some of those monsters looked like they fell out of a Mad Max movie.

Still safer than a Kayak.
 
2013-07-05 04:27:27 AM  
Why the fark would you ever take an inflatable kayak into an area where the local wildlife can sink it with just a bite?
 
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