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(Charleston Post and Courier)   Pro Tip: When scattering the cremains of your loved one at sea, it's important to actually open the plastic box they came in. Otherwise your loved one will come back to you, and the local newspaper will tell everyone about your ineptitude   (postandcourier.com) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass, Charleston County, mortar shells  
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4735 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2013 at 6:04 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-04 06:01:15 PM
Let's get this out of the way

www.randomhouse.ca
 
2013-07-04 06:10:31 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Let's get this out of the way

[www.randomhouse.ca image 620x406]


aw dammit

but I can post this one right?

mimg.ugo.com
 
2013-07-04 06:10:39 PM
slacktory.com
It could be a box of Red Velvet Cake Mix.
 
2013-07-04 06:11:10 PM
"Goodbye Sailor", cough, "goodbye Sailor.
 
2013-07-04 06:11:36 PM
Cremains? Fark you subby
 
2013-07-04 06:18:19 PM
Hey, maybe they did not dump out the ashes because he could not swim.  Anyone ever stop to think of that?  Of course not.  Everyone just started making fun of the family.
 
2013-07-04 06:19:30 PM
i39.tinypic.com
 
2013-07-04 06:22:33 PM

Peter von Nostrand: Let's get this out of the way

[www.randomhouse.ca image 620x406]


Aaand we are done here.
 
2013-07-04 06:25:51 PM
Fluff news among current events
 
2013-07-04 06:27:26 PM
Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom~

Do you know if Kristi's clean-up included a garbage disposal or a flush?
 
2013-07-04 06:28:01 PM
Also, Dude, "cremains" is not the preferred nomenclature.  Cremated remains, please.
 
2013-07-04 06:29:11 PM

Tom_Slick: [slacktory.com image 600x375]
It could be a box of Red Velvet Cake Mix.


Speaking of Learys
farm4.staticflickr.com
Hey guys, what's going on in this planet?
 
2013-07-04 06:44:41 PM
After you've dumped them, what do you do with the little plastic box? Toss it in the garbage? Even though there might still be bits of Grandma stuck to the inside?
 
2013-07-04 06:54:06 PM
Recycle the box!  Charleston recycles plastic types 1 through 5.
 
2013-07-04 06:57:42 PM

chirpy: Recycle the box!  Charleston recycles plastic types 1 through 5.


files.myopera.com
 
2013-07-04 07:20:00 PM
We used to scatter ashes from our (Navy)  helicopter out over the ocean  on routine training flights sometimes. The squadron duty officer would show up at brief time and hand you a box. We usually poked a bunch of holes in it with a screwdriver and tossed it out rather forcefully at about 500' of altitude. You had to be quick so that the last mortal vestiges of Commander Fred, USN (ret) didn't blow back in to the cabin.
 
2013-07-04 07:32:55 PM

The link uses some lame gateway called Press+ that won't let me read the story, so they can kiss my ass...

Around noon, first-year Charleston County lifeguard Ryan Laban, 16, was sitting in the last lifeguard chair on the washout side of the pier. Two teenagers brought him a sealed, brown plastic box about the size of a shoe box, and weighing around 5 pounds, that they had found in the surf.

A white sticker on the outside made it clear what - or rather, who - was inside: the remains of Lee Jackson Thompson, who was cremated at a Roanoke, Va., funeral home on June 2, 2010.

"I couldn't open it, but I didn't really want to try because I was afraid of what was in it," Laban said. "I could tell that it had been in the water because it was kind of leaking."

Laban gave the box to his supervisor, who gave it to his supervisor, and it eventually wound up in the office at the pier, where employees tried to contact the funeral home.

"It was very unusual, so we really didn't know what to do with it," said Emily Jackson, operations manager with the Charleston County Park and Recreation Commission.

With the help of David Williams, funeral director at Lotz Funeral Homes in Roanoke, the remains will once again be reunited with the family.

Williams said Wednesday it sounds as if Thompson's ashes are still in the box. Remains are typically returned to families in a plastic box or in a plastic bag inside a cardboard box, he said.

"I can't tell you how many families say they are going to take Mom to the beach or Dad to the beach," he said. "Folks have these ideas and thoughts that cremated remains are like fireplace ashes, and they are not. They are not soft and they don't billow away. They are gritty, sandy, heavy. They have substance to them."

Sometimes, he said, families can't or don't know how to open the box and just toss the entire thing overboard.

"That's probably what happened here, too," he said.

Williams did not work for Lotz in 2010 but said records show the man, 48, died on May 28, 2010. A sister is listed as his next-of-kin.

Williams contacted the woman, who asked that her name not be used. She told him she plans to get the remains back.

"She was kind of laughing about it but said she was still in shock," Williams said. "She sounded like a responsible person and she'll see that the right thing is done. Mr. Thompson will finally be able to rest in peace somewhere."



Reach Brenda Rindge at 937-5713 or facebook.com/brindge.

 
2013-07-04 09:07:34 PM

Kyosuke: The link uses some lame gateway called Press+ that won't let me read the story, so they can kiss my ass...

<Article>


Thank you.
 
2013-07-04 09:51:51 PM
when I rested my mom's ashes at sea (it was actaully a lake), she was in a , biodegradable, water soluble, "box" of paper.  in the box were her ashes which was in a biodegradable, water soluble paper bag.  when my brother and I placed it on the water, it was about 2 beats and it sank.

FFS just let the funeral home know when they do the cremation and they can set it up for you
 
2013-07-04 09:54:25 PM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: [i39.tinypic.com image 500x333]


that was so funny it hurt
 
2013-07-04 10:00:58 PM
We scattered some of my Pop's ashes at Point Imperial at the Grand Canyon this past Monday (Sunday? Time gets all FUBAR up there). As I reached in, I muttered that I hope I'm not grabbing a handful of my dad's dong, lol. As I tossed him, I said, 'You never got to see the Canyon, but now you get to be the Canyon'.

And the funeral director called them cremains, so get off your high horse, knucklenuts.
 
2013-07-05 12:31:48 AM
Of course not.  Cremains belong in a little glass box on the piano.
 
2013-07-05 12:59:39 AM
It was probably cocaine lost from a shipment. Saying it is your grandpa's remains is a good way to throw off the feds.
 
2013-07-05 02:48:19 AM
So years ago I lived on Catalina Island. I drank, fished, and chased women, it is just the way that it was. Some crazy stories but this one was good. My buddy was bartending at Luau Larrys (its the parrot head one with all the stupid hats) on the Island, this "older" but "fine" lady walked in all by herself carrying a small box. He starts to chat her up, buys her a shot, and she tells him how she is here to bury her husbands ashes at sea.

They continue to drink and eventually make it back to his place. They have wild loud monkey sex all night long, when he wakes up she is gone. He showers off and strolls into work. The boss says, "hey that lady you were with last night left this here." It was her husbands ashes. He tells his boss the story, and they decided to intern him behind the bar. He was still sitting there last time I checked waiting for her to return. Or for someone to throw up in his urn...

Lesson being, dont let your final resting wishes rely on your slut wife
 
2013-07-05 06:09:36 AM

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: [i39.tinypic.com image 500x333]


Nice! Thanks for the lulz!
 
2013-07-05 06:14:54 AM

Chariset: Of course not.  Cremains belong in a little glass box on the piano.


Bravo!
 
2013-07-05 08:49:04 AM

Kyosuke: The link uses some lame gateway called Press+ that won't let me read the story, so they can kiss my ass...

Just for your info...  You can use adblock to block these types of paywall.  Anything that shows you the article and then overlays it with something to say 'give us money' can be added to it's list of things to block.  I don't remember what to block ,so you'll have to look at the source code to see, but it's usually javascript.

 
2013-07-05 09:55:52 AM

labman: Kyosuke: The link uses some lame gateway called Press+ that won't let me read the story, so they can kiss my ass...

Just for your info...  You can use adblock to block these types of paywall.  Anything that shows you the article and then overlays it with something to say 'give us money' can be added to it's list of things to block.  I don't remember what to block ,so you'll have to look at the source code to see, but it's usually javascript.


Thanks. I just view source and read the story there. They don't deserve the ad impressions.
 
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