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(Slate)   Finally, someone takes on the greatest scourge of our age: People who wear flip-flops instead of real shoes   ( slate.com) divider line
    More: Hero  
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14746 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jul 2013 at 3:00 AM (4 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2013-07-04 01:18:21 AM  
6 votes:
flip-flops connote a sort of half-dressed slatternliness

Stop slattern shaming me!
2013-07-04 03:58:06 AM  
5 votes:

puffy999: thongs are an abortion upon mankind.


If your thong is causing abortions, you're wearing it a size too small.
2013-07-04 12:30:39 AM  
5 votes:
When you are getting paid to write an article that starts with "I'm a live-and-let-live sort" and then goes on for 9 paragraphs about how much you're bothered by footwear choices made by strangers, it might just be time to sit down and think about the choices you've made in life.
2013-07-04 06:14:31 AM  
4 votes:
I feel that some of us are forgetting that there are plenty of foot fetishists amongst us, and so parading naked feet in public is exactly the same as walking about with your junk or vag out.
I assume the foot fetishists know all the best spots to observe their favorite meat, I'm sure they take great delight in memorizing every inch of your feet so as to masturbate furiously later.
Think about that next time you're in Kroger slip-sliding around the aisles with just a thong covering your huge bear-feet, you might be a solid family man, Mr Respectable with wife, kids and church buddies, but to the perverts you're a common slut parading your sex in an orgasmic explosion of flesh comparable to any sideboob/underboob/nip-slip/upskirt scenario.
2013-07-04 04:22:39 AM  
4 votes:
Next week on Slate: step by step instructions for removing sand from the vaginas of the average flip flop hater
2013-07-04 09:20:18 AM  
3 votes:
video.foxnews.com
2013-07-04 08:09:01 AM  
2 votes:
Don't you hate pants?
2013-07-04 07:19:52 AM  
2 votes:
See? ^^ there's one.
2013-07-04 06:00:35 AM  
2 votes:

macsully: puffy999: Shadowknight: puffy999:

I'm not your buddy, guy.


mendonews.files.wordpress.com
 damn straight....

/love flip flops and Buddy Guy..
2013-07-04 05:50:35 AM  
2 votes:
Catch you on the flip flop
s14.postimg.org
This here's Rubber Duck on the side
We're goin' bye-bye.
2013-07-04 04:32:40 AM  
2 votes:
I live in Colorado, and I see people in flip-flops all summer. They brag about it. They're so afraid of the whiff of convention or formality, that they will risk frostbite. This is why we have Comic Sans.
2013-07-04 03:53:28 AM  
2 votes:
i560.photobucket.com

/gonna go for a walk in my crocs
2013-07-04 03:19:53 AM  
2 votes:

Hermit Tard: tldr

I wear flip-flops, if you don't like it, you can kiss my hairy arse


Don't worry, looking at your stank-ass, ugly feet and toenail fungus is worse.
2013-07-04 03:06:18 AM  
2 votes:
*Peter Griffin oh my god who the hell cares.jpeg*
2013-07-04 08:44:33 AM  
1 vote:
i.imgur.com
2013-07-04 08:36:40 AM  
1 vote:

OregonVet: YoOjo: I feel that some of us are forgetting that there are plenty of foot fetishists amongst us, and so parading naked feet in public is exactly the same as walking about with your junk or vag out.
I assume the foot fetishists know all the best spots to observe their favorite meat, I'm sure they take great delight in memorizing every inch of your feet so as to masturbate furiously later.
Think about that next time you're in Kroger slip-sliding around the aisles with just a thong covering your huge bear-feet, you might be a solid family man, Mr Respectable with wife, kids and church buddies, but to the perverts you're a common slut parading your sex in an orgasmic explosion of flesh comparable to any sideboob/underboob/nip-slip/upskirt scenario.

[static.giantbomb.com image 456x297]


I get that response a lot, I assume people vicariously use Jack Nicholson to express their gratitude for how valuable my enlightenment transferal was to them.
He looks great in that picture by the way, was that before or after he starred in Fight Club?
2013-07-04 08:32:37 AM  
1 vote:

OscarTamerz: The swimsuit was named after the footwear and both are still called thongs in places where both are worn.


yes but the swimsuit should only be worn with heels.

/fap
2013-07-04 08:29:45 AM  
1 vote:
I get my new flip-flops circumcised and declawed.
2013-07-04 08:00:27 AM  
1 vote:
Flip flops in the work place should be banned world wide. I swear to God, it sounds like a farking horse park in our office building during the Summer.
2013-07-04 07:00:11 AM  
1 vote:
WhatTeva.
2013-07-04 05:25:25 AM  
1 vote:
noplaceforsheep.files.wordpress.com

Why is she not clutching her pearls? Seriously people were wearing those on their feet while they built the pyramids, invented gun powder and made the best steel in the world. The same time your people were still wearing furs and practicing cannibalism in northern Europe and Ireland. As far as ugly feet go I'll take the look of feet unconfined in thongs over the misshapen hooves in Jimmy Choos or Louboutins any day. And thongs aren't underwear, they're swim wear. Come to SoCal and bring your pearls to clutch and we'll show you.
2013-07-04 04:50:54 AM  
1 vote:
Flip-flops?
A bastardisation of the English language destined to take the place of the mudflap in your mythology.
They was originaly developed by my cousin Gladys Greengroin.
She was the queen of the trailercourt back in aught eighty, when there wasn't no indoor bathrooms with showers n such. They just had commmunal facilities. She was fed up with walkin' in everyone else's filth, so she cut up some rubber tractor tires, fastened some leather ties, and called 'em "shower-shoes". Now, after a while this caught on, and she began to market them to the locals, and became "filthy" rich. Ironic isn't it? You know you could tell the gentry from the common folk just by the tire tracks left in the sand. If'n ya had John Deer you was the cat's pajamas. Plain ole' Firestone or Goodyear was just slummin', but hey, it's all about the marketing.
 Flip-flop? Oh yea, that was the sound of her totesacks bouncin' as she went to the bank with your ancestors' money.
2013-07-04 04:05:44 AM  
1 vote:
Plastic shoes belong on plastic feet, otherwise things just get kind of ridiculous. Seeing as I have honest leather feet I'll stick to my non-ridiculous leather shoes thank you. I tried plastic flop shoes when I lived in Thailand and they were quite odd. After a while I could disregard the patch of tough skin that developed between toe number one and toe number two, I could forgive the way all the toes developed a desperate clawing in an effort to hold the flop shoe on while running or skipping, but I couldn't ignore the simple fact that some of the plastic neutrons merged with my leather soul neutrons and developed a hybrid layer that to this day emanates a cosmic glow visible in the dark. Maybe I had a bad pair but basically plastic flop shoes gave me feet cancer and I intend to sue the small Thai woman that sold me them into the dust.
The best shoes I ever had were made in Spain, bought in San Francisco, lasted six years and matched any and all outfits I own, from cut-off jeans and a psychedelic home-made sauna bag to the less formal natural 'hair morph-suit' that I wear when cycling or rock climbing. I miss those shoes and would be wearing them now, proudly, if I hadn't eaten one of them during a particularly savage DMT experience.
Plastic is not our friend, banish it back to the ocean where it came from. Humans require organic foot experiences, it keeps us at peace with the flow of ground energies.
2013-07-04 03:26:23 AM  
1 vote:

Shadowknight: puffy999: Don't worry, looking at your stank-ass, ugly feet and toenail fungus is worse.

You are paying way too close attention to people's feet, my friend.


1) I pay attention to the ground upon which I walk.

2) People who wear thongs are more likely to spray-tan and otherwise be vacuous, toffee-nosed, malodorous perverts; also, I watch too many bad infomercials.

3) I'm not your friend, buddy.
2013-07-04 03:11:18 AM  
1 vote:
Oh, and the hell if I'm going to read that entire whine.
2013-07-04 03:10:47 AM  
1 vote:
Next on the list: those stupid shorts that look like boxers underwear,
2013-07-04 02:49:17 AM  
1 vote:
Flip-flops came to my attention when I was a kid in the early 60's. Before that, sandals were popular. Sandals in the hot, Florida climate gave good ventilation, were light weight, somewhat disguised the gnarly, diseased-looking toes many folks have and could be worn with thin socks -- or not.

They churned the 'skuffs' by the thousands out of brightly colored foam rubber and plastic and targeted the kids first. I never could wear them, finding that damnable between the toe strap painfully annoying which did nothing more than rub the skin off.

Plus, as a kid, I ran a lot and those things would let the foot slide around and slip off, especially if wet.

I wore sandals, made of leather strips, until assorted comments came out about the less than manly look they had. They would not become popular again until the Yuppies appeared -- and they died with them.

By the 80's I was seeing fat women wearing cheap flip-flops whose soles had deformed due to the weight of the fat feet on them. I noticed the obvious slant to the side as they wore out.

Little girls and little boys looked cute in them, but beyond that, no.

I like the Japanese clog worn with white socks, especially by the women but that idea never caught on here. Besides, the idea of a 200 lb American girl squeezing her fat feet into a set of those dainty looking clogs is enough to make my imagination short circuit.

Women, however, do tend to look better in the flip-flops then men. I used to spot a lot of surfers in baggies or wet-suits shuffling around the beach in flip flops. It would not be for another 20 years that booties were added to the wetsuits. In the interim, there were the canvass slip on boat shoes that were kinda nice -- until they became a status symbol for the sailing crowd. Along with the Preppy look. Another version was known as tennis shoes, with laces.

Then again, I also used to like the old Penny Loafers, now long out of style. I wore high topped KEDS for ages, with the round rubber ankle protectors and over the toes rubber guard. Later, I switched between biker boots and Dingos. I preferred square toed to the popular pointy toed.

I kept low cut old sneakers for casual wear.

Now, it's just assorted 'athletic' soft sided shoes. I refuse to buy any glorified sneaker that is priced more than $30. Over $30, I switch to a leather shoe.

Yet, still, in department stores, especially in the summer time, I get to be treated to the 'slap-flap' of the flip-flops. Some folks have developed a slow, sliding walk, more like a shuffle with them, that is equally as annoying.

I miss Hush Puppies also. Good shoes and boots and they would not rub corns into your feet like full leather ones would. The soft soles were comfortable and quiet. However, they apparently went out of style also.

I wore Hush Puppy boots when I worked at a hospital. They were not only quiet and good for long hours on my feet, but the boot top kept obnoxious bodily fluids from occasionally dripping down into my socks -- like with low topped shoes.

I've seen, but never wore, crocks. They, IMO, look good on young women. Guys wearing them remind me of guys I used to see wearing shorts, rainbow suspenders, sporting a scraggly moustache, over priced 'antique' glasses, smoking a pipe and wearing sandals years ago, with white socks.

One style I've hated since I first saw them used to be real popular. Now, you'll see them mainly worn by high end sales men or executives. Red Wing was a popular name, but they're leather shoes, well made, usually appear kind of narrow and have layers of sculpted leather strips on the tops, festooned with punched holes.

For some reason, any guy wearing them appeared to have big, narrow feet. I used to see bank presidents decked out with highly polished pairs and the managers of new car dealerships. Doctors and lawyers wore them.

I hated them on sight.
2013-07-04 12:19:49 AM  
1 vote:
Article clearly written by someone who has never lived anywhere hot.  At a certain point, fashion matters less than comfort.

That point for me is right around 90 degrees.  Uncovering some small amount of skin makes a world of difference.
 
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