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(Detroit Free Press)   Now I understand everyone's shiat's emotional right now. But I've got a 3 point plan that's going to fix EVERYTHING   (freep.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Motor City Madman, Governors of Michigan, political activism  
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2898 clicks; posted to Politics » on 03 Jul 2013 at 4:10 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-03 06:17:41 PM  

Bloody William: EyeballKid: Now, watch carefully as this rare phenomenon unfolds: the conservative's perception of himself is about to meet head-on with reality, with messy results for certain. I mean like, trying to explain why you crapped your pants to avoid the draft and later tried to adopt a child you were banging messy.

It's what happens when an unstoppable force oil meets an insufferable asshole.


FTFY
 
2013-07-03 06:26:43 PM  
Number 1: We've got this guy Not Sure.
Number 2: He's got a higher IQ than ANY MAN ALIVE. and
Number 3: He's going to fix EVERYTHING.
 
2013-07-03 06:54:30 PM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I'm a promiscuous, pot-smoking, once-divorced, dual citizen Jew who hasn't lived in the USA since 1975.


All kidding aside, does dual citizenship interfere with eligibility to run for president?  Does living outside the US for the last 38 years disqualify a person?
 
2013-07-03 06:57:54 PM  

The Lone Gunman: Philip Francis Queeg: BMFPitt: And there would probably still be more than one person more insane than him in the primaries.

[www.jonathanrosenbaum.com image 460x307]

You would call the runner-up in the GOP primaries insane?

Carry on, then...


The 2012 Republican primaries? One of the most batshiat insane political party primaries in the history of time? The one that at one point had Donald farking Trump leading in the polls? If he's someone that was one of the leaders in that primary then yes, he's insane.
 
2013-07-03 07:12:57 PM  

flondrix: All kidding aside, does dual citizenship interfere with eligibility to run for president?  Does living outside the US for the last 38 years disqualify a person?


Legally?  No and no.

Realistically?  Would you vote someone into the highest office of the land who was so unamerican that he didn't even choose to live in the USA in spite of having the right to live and work there?  I'd expect that every opponent on the way up the political ladder would make that talking point #1.

(i wouldn't vote for me if i were running for president)
 
2013-07-03 07:21:17 PM  

flondrix: Does living outside the US for the last 38 years disqualify a person?


I think there is a residency requirement. Dual-citizenship shouldn't disqualify you though, if you're natural-born.
 
2013-07-03 07:55:12 PM  
I'll just leave this here.

Nugent:
"Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin' it to it. I had a career Jack. If I was walkin' around, hippying down, getting' loaded and pickin' my ass like your common curs, I'd say "Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin' around in the gutters." But I wasn't a gutter dog. I was a hard workin', mother****in' rock and roll musician.
I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin' and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin' kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.
See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin' dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I'm gonna play their own game, and I'm gonna destroy 'em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin' awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I've always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded mother *****. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn't know and I'm vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was - 'cause I was really into bein' clean and on the ball - I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.
So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn't believe the smell. They were ridiculin' me and pushin' me around and I was cryin', but all the time I was laughin' to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, "Oh my God, put those back on! You *****' swine you!" Then they had a urine test and I couldn't piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin' up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin' up. So I went home and cleaned up.
 
2013-07-03 08:08:18 PM  

flondrix: Bill_Wick's_Friend: I'm a promiscuous, pot-smoking, once-divorced, dual citizen Jew who hasn't lived in the USA since 1975.

All kidding aside, does dual citizenship interfere with eligibility to run for president?  Does living outside the US for the last 38 years disqualify a person?


As I recall from middle school, you have to have been a resident of the United States for something like 13 years immediately prior to running. As far as I know there are no special restrictions for dual citizens, though, as long as you're a natural born citizen of the US.
 
2013-07-03 09:36:53 PM  
 forget  that  man  shiatting in his  pants for the draft board, the  motor city madman  was to chicken shiat to stay in michigan.
 
2013-07-03 09:46:03 PM  
He can name Paula Deen Secy. of Education
 
2013-07-03 10:25:30 PM  
Ted Nugent for president? Rocker has slogan ready

All together now:

jm105: I thought he was supposed to be dead or in jail by now.

 
2013-07-03 10:39:38 PM  
um article was about ted nugent. but the movie is about president comacho. and not sure looks like george bush. man i'm lost.

/is rita = michelle?
 
2013-07-03 10:41:25 PM  
wait. can you make a guitar out of an AK-15? with picatinny rails and AR-47 EOTECH laser sights ? with a 30-pick magazine? oh baby.
 
2013-07-03 11:06:40 PM  

Infernalist: I'll just leave this here.

Nugent:
"Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin' it to it. I had a career Jack. If I was walkin' around, hippying down, getting' loaded and pickin' my ass like your common curs, I'd say "Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin' around in the gutters." But I wasn't a gutter dog. I was a hard workin', mother****in' rock and roll musician.
I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin' and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin' kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.
See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin' dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I'm gonna play their own game, and I'm gonna destroy 'em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin' awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I've always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded mother *****. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn't know and I'm vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. I was six-foot-three of sin. So the guys took me down to the physical, and my nerves, my emotions were distraught. I was not a good person. I was wounded. But as painful and nauseous as it was - 'cause I was really into bein' clean and on the ball - I made gutter swine hippies look like football players. I was deviano.
So I went in, and those guys in uniform couldn't believe the smell. They were ridiculin' me and pushin' me around and I was cryin', but all the time I was laughin' to myself. When they stuck the needle in my arm for the blood test I passed out, and when I came to they were kicking me into the wall. Then they made everybody take off their pants, and I did, and this sergeant says, "Oh my God, put those back on! You *****' swine you!" Then they had a urine test and I couldn't piss, But my poop was just like ooze, man, so I poop in the cup and put it on the counter. I had poop on my hand and my arm. The guy almost puked. I was so proud. I knew I had these chumps beat. The last thing I remember was wakin' up in the ear test booth and they were sweepin' up. So I went home and cleaned up.


That is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. But he sure does describe it well.
 
2013-07-03 11:58:44 PM  

Infernalist: I'll just leave this here.

Nugent:
"Ted was a young boy, appearing to be a hippie but quite opposite in fact, working hard and playing hard, playing rock and roll like a deviant. People would question my sanity, I played so much. So I got my notice to be in the draft. Do you think I was gonna lay down my guitar and go play army? Give me a break! I was busy doin' it to it. I had a career Jack. If I was walkin' around, hippying down, getting' loaded and pickin' my ass like your common curs, I'd say "Hey yeah, go in the army. Beats the poop out of scuffin' around in the gutters." But I wasn't a gutter dog. I was a hard workin', mother****in' rock and roll musician.
I got my physical notice 30 days prior to. Well, on that day I ceased cleansing my body. No more brushing my teeth, no more washing my hair, no baths, no soap, no water. Thirty days of debris build. I stopped shavin' and I was 18, had a little scraggly beard, really looked like a hippie. I had long hair, and it started gettin' kinky, matted up. Then two weeks before, I stopped eating any food with nutritional value. I just had chips, Pepsi, beer-stuff I never touched-buttered poop, little jars of Polish sausages, and I'd drink the syrup, I was this side of death, Then a week before, I stopped going to the bathroom. I did it in my pants. poop, piss the whole shot. My pants got crusted up.
See, I approached the whole thing like, Ted Nugent, cool hard-workin' dude, is gonna wreak havoc on these imbeciles in the armed forces. I'm gonna play their own game, and I'm gonna destroy 'em. Now my whole body is crusted in poop and piss. I was ill. And three or four days before, I started stayin' awake. I was close to death, but I was in control. I was extremely antidrug as I've always been, but I snorted some crystal methedrine. Talk about one wounded mother *****. A guy put up four lines, and it was for all four of us, but I didn't know and I'm vacuuming that poop right up. I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. ...


If he ever does run for any office....that should be posted anywhere he tries to run, in every medium known to man. Preferably held in silence by an armless, legless Vietnam veteran.
 
2013-07-04 12:06:18 AM  

Bill_Wick's_Friend: I'm a promiscuous, pot-smoking, once-divorced, dual citizen Jew who hasn't lived in the USA since 1975.  Even with that baggage, I think the lack of draft dodging, multiple marriages, allegations of pedophilia, and pants-shiatting on my resume probably makes me a more suitable GOP candidate than Teddy.


I would like to subscribe to your campaign newsletter.
 
2013-07-04 12:09:47 AM  

Nadie_AZ: That is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. But he sure does describe it well.


I used to think that myself.  Then I learned about how he got the parents of that underage girl he was f*cking to let him "adopt" her so that people wouldn't think it was weird that he was hanging out with jailbait.  Just think, it's possible for a man to do something even more disgusting than sh*tting all over himself and living in his own fecal matter for a week straight.
 
2013-07-04 12:35:11 AM  

Gyrfalcon: I was a walking, talking hunk of human poop. ...


So for Ted nothing has changed.
 
2013-07-04 12:43:06 AM  

Derp Du Jour: Palin\Nugent?


Quitter/Pants shiatter 2016!

/Not mine
 
2013-07-04 12:52:35 AM  
The comments on the site AREN'T batshiat insane.  I was hoping for more crazy...
 
2013-07-04 07:53:40 AM  
I'm moving back to Iraq. It was less crazy there.
 
2013-07-04 09:20:47 AM  
The "Ted Nugent for President" Facebook page has 195K likes.

I'm not sure if I should be sad that it is that high or relieved that it isn't higher.
 
2013-07-04 01:34:52 PM  

DrPainMD: If he had half a brain he'd realize that it doesn't matter who sits in the White House. The President does what he is told; the real power is elsewhere. The major bureaucracies of the government are totally autonomous, not accountable to anybody, and can only be stopped* with nuclear weapons.


He doesn't want to be President. He's simply following the career arc of Herman Cain and Donald Trump before him: People who want to run for President but don't want to BE President.

If you're an entrepreneur/media whore who desires attention to prop up your commercial ventures (book, seminar tour, personal brand, weight loss pill or whatever bullshiat thing you're pushing), what's the best way to gain free national publicity? ....run for President.

Sarah Palin started all this -- the concept of being a professional grifter through media, news and politics. The concept itself isn't new, but in this new age media format it has never been more potent. Donald Trump and Herman Cain have figured it out, using the election cycle for cheap and easy press, bottling and selling the Sarah Palin technique as a marketing platform for their own agendas. Furthermore, this tactic necessitates the creation of PACs which are, literally, nothing more than administrations that facilitate stupid people giving away free money.

If you want to make a million dollars, start a religion. If you want to be in a million newspapers, run for office.
 
2013-07-04 07:40:05 PM  

Corvus: Got out of serving his country by shiatting himself. Has sex with underage girls. How can he not be the nominee of the GOP.


Uhhhh.... 'cause they're girls?
 
2013-07-04 11:22:02 PM  
He used to be a pretty good guitar player, didn't he?
 
2013-07-05 12:36:36 AM  

BarkingUnicorn: He used to be a pretty good guitar player, didn't he?


Only song of his that I liked was 'Stranglehold', and it's mostly instrumental.
 
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