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(SlashFilm)   Sharknado is coming. Candygram, whoosh   (slashfilm.com) divider line 72
    More: Scary, Sharknado, direct-to-DVD, Ian Ziering  
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2799 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 03 Jul 2013 at 2:00 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-03 12:29:28 PM  
OOOOOOOH. Like Tornado. I was reading it like Nod-o. Like maybe it was a grenade shark or something in spanish.
 
2013-07-03 12:38:07 PM  
Can't watch the trailer - all I get is a message telling me 'this content is currently unavailable'.  I think maybe it can only be viewed by people in the US.

It'd be nice if someone could figure out how to download it, and put it on Youtube.  So that, you know, the rest of us could see it.
 
2013-07-03 12:39:05 PM  
"I'm only a Dolphin-wind, Ma'am."
 
2013-07-03 01:05:10 PM  
I think animal + natural disaster will be the next big thing. I have an idea about a New England coastal town terrorized by giant crabs brought up from the ocean floor by a series of freak tremors in the Atlantic basin. I'd call it...Crab Quakes.
 
2013-07-03 01:15:28 PM  

Sybarite: I think animal + natural disaster will be the next big thing. I have an idea about a New England coastal town terrorized by giant crabs brought up from the ocean floor by a series of freak tremors in the Atlantic basin. I'd call it...Crab Quakes.


You should read Frank Schatzing's novel, The Swarm, if you haven't already.  It's got a very interesting concept.  Uma Thurman optioned it for a film a few years back, but there's not much news about it lately.  It's still listed on IMDb as being in development though.

The Swarm, at amazon.com
 
2013-07-03 01:45:44 PM  
Needs more cow.
 
2013-07-03 01:52:41 PM  
Could be worse.
Could be "Shartnado".
 
2013-07-03 02:02:32 PM  

bearded clamorer: Could be worse.
Could be "Shartnado".


Or Shatnerado
 
2013-07-03 02:04:01 PM  

Sybarite: I think animal + natural disaster will be the next big thing. I have an idea about a New England coastal town terrorized by giant crabs brought up from the ocean floor by a series of freak tremors in the Atlantic basin. I'd call it...Crab Quakes.


Hah hah hah! and then the crabs are fought off by a brave but stupid lobster fisherman and his friends the paraplegic cop, the pervert, and the black dude.
 
2013-07-03 02:09:48 PM  

texdent: bearded clamorer: Could be worse.
Could be "Shartnado".

Or Shatnerado


And instead of the sound of rushing wind and debris, it's one long played out KAAAAAAAAAAAHN.
 
2013-07-03 02:12:13 PM  
I can't think of a scenario where a flying shark would be any more dangerous in an environment where pine needles can be threaded through telephone poles by a 300 mile per hour wind. The most I can come up with is maybe you're swimming in a pool and a shark is chunked in with you because you like to swim in extreme weather. If you wanted to stretch things a bit a shark could land on a shopping buggy and roll down the street chomping at old ladies, but if you ask me, any elderly not in a shelter during a tornado got it coming.
 
2013-07-03 02:14:23 PM  
Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?
 
2013-07-03 02:19:03 PM  
Since when did Syfy move these "movie" premieres away from Saturday night?
 
2013-07-03 02:22:35 PM  
Good to see Tara Reid is getting work.
 
2013-07-03 02:23:23 PM  

Sybarite: I think animal + natural disaster will be the next big thing. I have an idea about a New England coastal town terrorized by giant crabs brought up from the ocean floor by a series of freak tremors in the Atlantic basin. I'd call it...Crab Quakes.


"Lobster Terrordore!"    (tm).
 
2013-07-03 02:24:47 PM  

Just Arrived: Good to see Tara Reid is getting work.


She wasn't bad in Scrubs or American Pie, I wonder why she sort of fell off of the radar.
 
2013-07-03 02:27:35 PM  
Another turd-de-force from the cinematic buttocks of SyFy? Was this gem filmed in southern Ontario like the others?
 
2013-07-03 02:29:11 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Just Arrived: Good to see Tara Reid is getting work.

She wasn't bad in Scrubs or American Pie, I wonder why she sort of fell off of the radar.


I stand corrected. Seems she has been pretty busy with a lot of straight-to-video films.
 
2013-07-03 02:32:13 PM  
I'd like to have been a fly on the wall during THAT brainstorm session.

Bossman: Ok folks...we need to put out a new movie for July. Ideas?

Nick: How about a good old fashion natural disaster movie? You know...tornadoes...or...

Sheila: Ooh! Not just tornadoes, but SUPER tornadoes! And not in America's breadbasket, but
somewhere unexpected, like Vegas or Los Angeles...

Bridget: I don't know...I kind of like the idea of some kind of animal disaster. Killer locusts, rabid
pigeons, that sort of thing. Or how about a West Coast Jaws kind of thing?

Nick & Sheila: I like tornadoes better.

Bridget: But...SHARKS!

N & S: Tornadoes!

Bridget: Sharks!

Melvin the copy guy: (muttering) Sharknado

N & S & B: Shut UP Melvin!

Bossman: Whatsyername, son?

Melvin: Uh...Melvin, sir.

Bossman: Right. Melvin - did I hear you right? Did you say...SHARKnado?

Melvin: Uh...yessir. Like these super tornadoes form out over the Pacific, picking up hundreds of
man-eating, pissed off sharks as the tornadoes move toward land. Then once they hit land, sharks
start getting flung out of the twisters...

N & S & B: Sharknado? How stu...

Bossman: Sharknado...I like it! You're a GOTdamn genius, Mark!

Melvin: Uh...I'm Melvin, sir...
 
2013-07-03 02:33:02 PM  

oldfarthenry: Another turd-de-force from the cinematic buttocks of SyFy? Was this gem filmed in southern Ontario like the others?


I'm convinced that the development team, the target audience, or both for these films are stoners.
 
2013-07-03 02:36:03 PM  
I have never been an actor, but I imagine working on a SyFy film is awesome.
 
2013-07-03 02:42:04 PM  

texdent: bearded clamorer: Could be worse.
Could be "Shartnado".

Or Shatnerado


How could Shatnerado possibly be anything but AWESOME?
 
2013-07-03 02:43:25 PM  

Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?


You scoff now, but wait until you're caught in a trailer in a crappy trailer park with no storm shelter, and a shark lands on your head!
 
2013-07-03 02:45:52 PM  
They haven't taken this far enough.  What they need to do is have the tornado swing through a nuclear power plant this giving us a nuclear sharknado.  The sharks will become hyper intelligent and use radioactive powers and control over weather to dominate the land and try to take over the world!!
 
2013-07-03 02:48:30 PM  
What do you say we go back to my place and I eat your pussy?
 
2013-07-03 02:49:59 PM  
This is almost as bad as that time the tornado hit the handgun factory.
 
2013-07-03 02:52:44 PM  
Sure it sounds stupid, but it also sounds a lot less stupid than Twister was, with its "high tech" Christmas ornaments loaded into trash cans that required a pointless nine-step process just to get the lids off. (I'm just glad no one's making a Billnado movie, with giant tornadoes hurling dozens of drunk Bill Paxtons in all directions. Now THAT would be some scary sh*t!)
 
2013-07-03 02:54:27 PM  

Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?


You haven't thought this through.  Basements flood, and a shark in water is in its natural environment.  You'd want to be on higher ground, like an attic.  But during a tornado, higher ground is the most dangerous place you can be.  The script was written by an underappreciated genius, if you ask me.

So you see, there's some real risk here.  Probably 90 minutes worth.
 
2013-07-03 02:55:27 PM  

EdgeRunner: but it also sounds a lot less stupid than Twister was


Um, no... Flying sharks that can kill you after getting sucked up out of the ocean in what ISN'T tornado country, and then staying alive the whole time in the air, with no water, and still able to be dangerous when they magically land on you?
 
2013-07-03 03:00:08 PM  
"I've had it with these muthafarkin' sharks in this muthafarkin' tornado."
 
2013-07-03 03:03:01 PM  

Mikey1969: EdgeRunner: but it also sounds a lot less stupid than Twister was

Um, no... Flying sharks that can kill you after getting sucked up out of the ocean in what ISN'T tornado country, and then staying alive the whole time in the air, with no water, and still able to be dangerous when they magically land on you?


Well, if it was more waterspout than tornado....Okay, I need to stop trying to bring some logic to this very stupid idea.
 
2013-07-03 03:03:38 PM  

Lsherm: Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?

You haven't thought this through.  Basements flood, and a shark in water is in its natural environment.  You'd want to be on higher ground, like an attic.  But during a tornado, higher ground is the most dangerous place you can be.  The script was written by an underappreciated genius, if you ask me.

So you see, there's some real risk here.  Probably 90 minutes worth.


That made me laugh, pictureing a giant bubble with a shark inside and enough water to turn your basement into a shark tank. Thanks!
 
2013-07-03 03:04:17 PM  
Go home SyFy, you're drunk.
 
2013-07-03 03:04:58 PM  

Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?


www.flix66.com

Your argument is invalid
 
2013-07-03 03:05:38 PM  

Gergesa: They haven't taken this far enough.  What they need to do is have the tornado swing through a nuclear power plant this giving us a nuclear sharknado.  The sharks will become hyper intelligent and use radioactive powers and control over weather to dominate the land and try to take over the world!!


That'll be the sequel, they have to leave something on the table.
 
2013-07-03 03:11:44 PM  
I misread that an Snarkado.

Well, Jon Stewart is working on a movie.
 
2013-07-03 03:13:43 PM  

SirTanon: Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?

[www.flix66.com image 400x514]

Your argument is invalid


I always wondered where the spikes came from. Is there a mutated saber tooth tiger in the mix, or something?
 
2013-07-03 03:17:06 PM  
I'd call it...Crab Quakes.

That would work well if it was set in Maryland; in New England you could use the aforementioned Lobster Terrordore ( I liked that Rhypss ! )or how about Scallopagus !
 
2013-07-03 03:21:00 PM  
I am convinced that somewhere in SyFy headquarters they simply have a board with alot of words on it and they just throw a couple darts at it to find out what their next movie is going to be.
 
2013-07-03 03:21:14 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Just Arrived: Good to see Tara Reid is getting work.

She wasn't bad in Scrubs or American Pie, I wonder why she sort of fell off of the radar.


She'll also suck your cock for $1K

i.huffpost.com

/Brandt can't watch though, or he has to pay $100
//My grade-schooler is gonna love this flick
///Megashark vs. Crocasaurus is the current hit right now
 
2013-07-03 03:25:25 PM  
Now if the tornado runs over a laser factory and in that action imbeds lasers into the sharks heads we could be talking Oscars.
 
2013-07-03 03:27:49 PM  

Saiga410: Now if the tornado runs over a laser factory and in that action imbeds lasers into the sharks heads we could be talking Oscars.


4.bp.blogspot.com

You have my attention
 
2013-07-03 03:29:41 PM  

Just Arrived: Good to see Tara Reid is getting work done.

ftfy

 
2013-07-03 03:30:49 PM  

zomega: Mikey1969: EdgeRunner: but it also sounds a lot less stupid than Twister was

Um, no... Flying sharks that can kill you after getting sucked up out of the ocean in what ISN'T tornado country, and then staying alive the whole time in the air, with no water, and still able to be dangerous when they magically land on you?

Well, if it was more waterspout than tornado....Okay, I need to stop trying to bring some logic to this very stupid idea.


Indeed, for "logic" and "SyFy Original movies" are fundamentally incompatible with each other.
 
2013-07-03 03:32:29 PM  

texdent: bearded clamorer: Could be worse.
Could be "Shartnado".

Or Shatnerado


SHATNERADO
WHY DON'T YOU FIX YOUR DEFLECTORS
YOU'VE BEEN IN UNCHARTED SECTORS FOR SO LONG NOW
 
2013-07-03 03:54:52 PM  
A sheriff of a New England coastal town fights off an invasion of a large crustacean. Dwayne Johnson stars in "Rock Lobsta".
 
2013-07-03 03:57:45 PM  

shanteyman: I'd call it...Crab Quakes.

That would work well if it was set in Maryland; in New England you could use the aforementioned Lobster Terrordore ( I liked that Rhypss ! )or how about Scallopagus !


meh, maryland get all their crabs from new orleans anyways. ;p

/ oysternami!
 
2013-07-03 03:58:36 PM  

SirTanon: Mikey1969: Really? These people can't just step aside and let the stupid shark suffocate? Good lord people, find a basement and wait 10 minutes, How the Fark can even SciFi think this would make a movie that was anything but garbage?

[www.flix66.com image 400x514]

Your argument is invalid


RE: Sharktopus... saw that this week.  Farking awesome.  Some of the best "good bad" I've seen in awhile.
 
2013-07-03 04:04:17 PM  

IamSoSmart_S_M_R_T: //My grade-schooler is gonna love this flick


Isn't grade school a bit young for The Big Lebowski?
 
2013-07-03 04:10:21 PM  

skinink: A sheriff of a New England coastal town fights off an invasion of a large crustacean. Dwayne Johnson stars in "Rock Lobsta".


Methodman and Redman are stranded on a deserted Aleutian island... coming this summer "Baked Alaska"
 
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