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(Huffington Post)   NBC pimpslaps ESPN's Bill Simmons. This reminds me of Karate Kid when Miyagi beat up Sensei Kreese. It was at least a 8 on the Unintentional Comedy Scale. It was like the first season of "Real World" when they kicked Puck out. Or something   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 72
    More: Dumbass, Bill Simmons, ESPN, NBC, Wimbledon, Unintentional Comedy Scale, Twitter, Mr. Miyagi, Sabine Lisicki  
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3429 clicks; posted to Sports » on 03 Jul 2013 at 1:08 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-03 12:52:59 PM  
That was disappointingly tame.
 
2013-07-03 12:57:49 PM  
Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.
 
2013-07-03 01:12:02 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.


I can see where people find him annoying at times (for a variety of reasons), but...awful?
 
2013-07-03 01:13:08 PM  
I've enjoyed some of Simmons columns over the years, but he is terrible on television.
 
2013-07-03 01:15:48 PM  
"Sensei Kreese" was a tough guy extra on a rerun of Charlie's Angels.  It seems he wanted to kidnap Frank Sinatra, wearing tight jeans and suspenders, no shirt.
 
2013-07-03 01:15:57 PM  
That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?
 
2013-07-03 01:20:56 PM  

DamnYankees: That was disappointingly tame.


It takes a lot to be one of the most dramatic and over-hyping headlines on fark, but Subby did very well.

/I don't think a guying saying a TV show is on a channel and that channel corrects him politely is much of a pimp-slap. I may have to go watch Karate Kid to see if Miyagi was this nice. He probably was.
 
2013-07-03 01:23:39 PM  
Dammit, Subby, I read that headline in the voice of Peter Griffin.
 
2013-07-03 01:27:30 PM  

skrame: DamnYankees: That was disappointingly tame.

It takes a lot to be one of the most dramatic and over-hyping headlines on fark, but Subby did very well.

/I don't think a guying saying a TV show is on a channel and that channel corrects him politely is much of a pimp-slap. I may have to go watch Karate Kid to see if Miyagi was this nice. He probably was.


It also wasn't meant to be a knock on NBC sports, I don't think. Simmons has made that type of joke many times before about a lot of different lame sporting events, and if memory serves he's made it about stuff on ESPN and ABC as well.
 
2013-07-03 01:28:18 PM  
Not a pimp slap, the scene at the begining of KK2 WAS supposed to be funny at the end (a nose was "honked" for god sakes) and it wasn;t funny when they kicked out Puck (it was needed since he was a ahateful douche).

I am past blaming the submitter.

Whoever approved this thread should be banned for 2 days just to regroup and learn what shiat NOT to approve.
 
2013-07-03 01:29:33 PM  
 
2013-07-03 01:36:38 PM  
I wanna see where Chuck Klosterman ranks this mistake among his list of times women that likes the bands he likes have laughed at his dick.
 
2013-07-03 01:38:19 PM  
Subby must like Skip Bayless; only someone who listens to everything that jerk says and treats it like gospel could write a headline like that.
 
2013-07-03 01:38:43 PM  
Bill Simmons is funny and I hope somebody hands him a Gerald Wallace jersey live on air for the first Celtics game.
 
2013-07-03 01:40:04 PM  

Killer Cars: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

I can see where people find him annoying at times (for a variety of reasons), but...awful?


Yes.  He's Skip Bayless level
 
2013-07-03 01:40:25 PM  
HE STAHK HIS FINGAH IN THA PAHNAHT BAHTAH!!!!!
 
2013-07-03 01:41:47 PM  

EyeballKid: That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?


For me as well. As a child, I always remember enjoying the start of my summer vacation from school waking up and watching Wimbledon, and hearing that 70s synthesizer theme always takes me back.
 
2013-07-03 01:42:42 PM  

Weigard: I wanna see where Chuck Klosterman ranks this mistake among his list of times women that likes the bands he likes have laughed at his dick.



OK, OK, the question isn't, "did Bill screw up"", the question is, subjectively, from, OK, an objective standpoint, can NBC objectively challenge ESPN?  Bill, what you're arguing is, ok, that NBC had Wimbledon, OK, but now NBC does, but, OK, objectively, can we even, uh, subjectively evaluate an objective data set, ok, about the subjectivity of NBC's coverage?  Or, does the data itself, ok, indicate a subjective selection bias? I mean, ok, if you took, you know, David Lee Roth-era Van Halen, and stacked them up versus Nirvana, not 'Bleach' Nirvana but 'In Utero' Nirvana, ok, I mean, what does that indicate, from, you know, an objective standpoint? I mean, uh, can we even subjectively be objective, ok? Or is the question really, can be objectively be subjective about our objectivity about the subjective object? And, if hte answer is no, not that I'm saying it is, what does say about our ability to analyze tennis, period?  Does that not force the conclusion, ok, that we shouldn't cover the coverage?  Is this not more about new media or is it about the medium being the, you know, message?  You know?


"Wow, Chuck. That sounds....brilliant."

"Bill, that's only because it is."
 
2013-07-03 01:43:43 PM  

LarryDan43: I've enjoyed some of Simmons columns over the years, but he is terrible on television.


you know he isn't terrible, just woefully unprepared sometimes.
 
2013-07-03 01:56:00 PM  
That wasn't much of slap. Subby forgot to keep their pimp hand strong.
 
2013-07-03 02:07:01 PM  
Simmons the writer (a job he seems to forget he has these days) is terrific. I read all of his columns, even the 5,000-word screeds on the NBA (and I'm only a casual NBA fan) because I thoroughly enjoy his work.

On TV though...he sounds like a first-year intern trying to make a splash. His writing humor doesn't translate to TV at all.
 
2013-07-03 02:09:57 PM  
One minute: "Wah! Serena Williams is old and creaky! We want somebody new!"

Next minute: "Wah! Serena Williams got knocked out! We don't wanna watch anymore!"

/For the men, substitute Federer for Serena.
 
2013-07-03 02:10:15 PM  

Killer Cars: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

I can see where people find him annoying at times (for a variety of reasons), but...awful?


See the headline. It's like that every. Single. Column. Awful. I get that it's his schtick, but just about anyone can write a bullet-pointed column full of tired references like he does.
 
2013-07-03 02:13:30 PM  

Ishkur: EyeballKid: That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?

For me as well. As a child, I always remember enjoying the start of my summer vacation from school waking up and watching Wimbledon, and hearing that 70s synthesizer theme always takes me back.


You NBC-tards.  I'd rather have it back on HBO. Approximately the only time Jim Lampley was ever tolerable.
 
2013-07-03 02:15:27 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Killer Cars: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

I can see where people find him annoying at times (for a variety of reasons), but...awful?

See the headline. It's like that every. Single. Column. Awful. I get that it's his schtick, but just about anyone can write a bullet-pointed column full of tired references like he does.


No one else is doing several thousand word pieces describing every bad move the Golden State Warriors have made in the last 35 years. Bill the writer is the man.

Bill the writer has said he thinks Bill the TV talking head sucks.

/http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7714701/how-annoy-fan-base-60-ea sy -steps">http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7714701/how-annoy-fan-bas e-60-easy -steps
//he's no better than Skip Bayless? Srsly?
 
2013-07-03 02:17:15 PM  

Rwa2play: Subby must like Skip Bayless; only someone who listens to everything that jerk says and treats it like gospel could write a headline like that.


Skip Bayless and Bill Simmons are the opposite sides of the same coin. Pompous douchebags who comment on "mental" aspect of sports.
 
2013-07-03 02:19:28 PM  
Or something
 
2013-07-03 02:20:17 PM  
thumbs.newschoolers.com
 
2013-07-03 02:24:55 PM  

WTF Indeed: Rwa2play: Subby must like Skip Bayless; only someone who listens to everything that jerk says and treats it like gospel could write a headline like that.

Skip Bayless and Bill Simmons are the opposite sides of the same coin. Pompous douchebags who comment on "mental" aspect of sports.


Correct.
 
2013-07-03 02:27:39 PM  

WTF Indeed: Pompous douchebags who comment on "mental" aspect of sports.


why are ___ going to win?  look at their swagger.  they've got that swagger.  when you have swagger, you can't be beat.  I like their swagger.  they lost their swagger but they've got it back.
 
2013-07-03 02:28:32 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.


Who do you like?
 
2013-07-03 02:29:32 PM  

EyeballKid: That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?


That's how I felt when they moved the Kentucky Derby from ABC (Jim McKay and Al Michaels) to NBC (Tom Hammond and Bob Costas) back in the early aughts, I think.

Not that anybody gives a fark about horse racing anymore. Or tennis all that much.
 
2013-07-03 02:30:06 PM  

Willas Tyrell: No one else is doing several thousand word pieces describing every bad move the Golden State Warriors have made in the last 35 years. Bill the writer is the man.


Bill the "analytical, objective writer" is definitely the man (like in the Warriors piece you mentioned) but when he strays into random musings using pop culture references to make a point that sometimes has nothing to do with sports...well, that Bill got old for me a long time ago.
 
2013-07-03 02:37:28 PM  

EyeballKid: That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?


I feel the same way about monday night football. If you don't have cable you are farked.
 
2013-07-03 02:39:25 PM  

Mateorocks: Not that anybody gives a fark about horse racing anymore.


Let me guess. Pimlico?

/Churchill right here
 
2013-07-03 02:41:03 PM  

FLMountainMan: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

Who do you like?


Papi
 
2013-07-03 02:42:19 PM  

FLMountainMan: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

Who do you like?


Who's that guy on Sports Illustrated? Peter King? He's almost as bad, but not as bad.  I don't read too many national columnists. I like to read The Buffalo News columns and various blogs like SB Nation.
 
2013-07-03 02:49:27 PM  
Tangentially related. I dont like Bill Simmons, but I gotta say if Doc Rivers bristled at his comments, then is because they rang of truth.
 
2013-07-03 02:53:42 PM  

EyeballKid: Mateorocks: Not that anybody gives a fark about horse racing anymore.

Let me guess. Pimlico?

/Churchill right here


Pimlico? Dude, you want me to get mugged?
 
2013-07-03 02:54:12 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Who's that guy on Sports Illustrated? Peter King? He's almost as bad, but not as bad


Yeesh, now him I can't stand. Admittedly though I can't think of too many really good NFL writers off hand. Bill Barnwell on Grantland is good, albeit heavy with stats and geekery.
 
2013-07-03 02:54:58 PM  
I only like Bill Simmons for spearheading Grantland, which introduced me to the hilarity of my hometown boy, Rembert Browne:  http://www.grantland.com/contributor/_/name/rembert-browne
 
2013-07-03 02:55:29 PM  

WTF Indeed: Rwa2play: Subby must like Skip Bayless; only someone who listens to everything that jerk says and treats it like gospel could write a headline like that.

Skip Bayless and Bill Simmons are the opposite sides of the same coin. Pompous douchebags who comment on "mental" aspect of sports.


Pompous?  I get not liking his writing/humor, but never got the pompous vibe from him.  Seems pretty self deprecating to me.
 
2013-07-03 02:59:04 PM  

Mateorocks: EyeballKid: Mateorocks: Not that anybody gives a fark about horse racing anymore.

Let me guess. Pimlico?

/Churchill right here

Pimlico? Dude, you want me to get mugged?


Oh, sorry to hear that. Churchill's a little better. Though, you go a couple streets away from it, hoo-boy, you got yourself an adventure!
 
2013-07-03 03:04:04 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: FLMountainMan: cameroncrazy1984: Good. Bill Simmons is a awful.

Who do you like?

Who's that guy on Sports Illustrated? Peter King? He's almost as bad, but not as bad.  I don't read too many national columnists. I like to read The Buffalo News columns and various blogs like SB Nation.


so pseudo sports writers

comparing Peter King to Bill Simmons is dumb. Peter King gives you facts and digs for the story/truth behind the story. Simmons uses some knowledge and investigation to throw in with his personal opinions.
 
2013-07-03 03:09:21 PM  

IlGreven: Ishkur: EyeballKid: That having been said, it is weird to imagine NBC not airing Wimbledon. That used to be a summer vacation highlight, waking up to watch tennis for one week of the year, hearing that piano music. Yes, I did have shiatty summer vacations, why do you ask?

For me as well. As a child, I always remember enjoying the start of my summer vacation from school waking up and watching Wimbledon, and hearing that 70s synthesizer theme always takes me back.

You NBC-tards.  I'd rather have it back on HBO. Approximately the only time Jim Lampley was ever tolerable.


Jim Lampley is fantastic at calling a boxing match
 
2013-07-03 03:11:49 PM  

Piizzadude: Peter King gives you facts and digs for the story/truth behind the story.


Specifically if the story is "Why Tom Brady is sooooooo dreamy!"
 
2013-07-03 03:13:50 PM  
Simmons used to be pretty good. A long time ago. For local Boston sports. Hes kind of like Madden but with no video game.
 
2013-07-03 03:15:30 PM  

skrame: It takes a lot to be one of the most dramatic and over-hyping headlines on fark, but Subby did very well.


cameroncrazy1984: See the headline. It's like that every. Single. Column. Awful. I get that it's his schtick

...

Apparently I did not see what subby did there. Subby, I apologize for thinking you were a horrible subby instead of a clever subby.

/subby
/no no no; I'm not subby; just noting that I said subby a lot in that post
 
2013-07-03 03:15:36 PM  

EyeballKid: Piizzadude: Peter King gives you facts and digs for the story/truth behind the story.

Specifically if the story is "Why Tom Brady is sooooooo dreamy!"


Maybe there's some truth behind that story?
 
2013-07-03 03:20:00 PM  

Piizzadude: Peter King gives you facts and digs for the story/truth behind the story.


after the game, I texted ____ and asked him, "when you threw that pass, what were you feeling?"  he texted back that he felt great.  I texted his coach and asked him, "why did you make that call?" and he texted back, "we saw something on film and exploited it."  I then texted the GM and he texted back.  I then texted opposing QB and he texted that he was disappointed.  I texted a league source and he texted back that he couldn't comment.  so i sent a text...."

we get it, pete.  you like to text.  jesus.  can you just say "___ said he felt great, ___ said he was happy..."
 
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