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(Huffington Post)   Moments after being convicted of sodomizing a 14-year-old girl, a Missouri man said, "fark it," and popped a cyanide capsule in court   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 46
    More: Strange, Missouri, Clinton County, Oregon Zoo, Maryville, stock traders, Vince Neil, convictions  
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21016 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2013 at 10:47 AM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-07-03 10:22:33 AM
24 votes:
markie_farkie:So in related news, you can order and get cyanide almost like pizza.

you'll be dead in thirty seconds or it's free!
2013-07-03 10:26:38 AM
16 votes:

NewportBarGuy: Have you met my wife, Svetlana?


Better check your purchase, they sent me Stevelana last time.
2013-07-03 10:53:40 AM
6 votes:

xanadian: "What about poison pizza?"


Nah, I don't like DOmino's.
2013-07-03 10:33:37 AM
6 votes:

Aarontology: R.A.Danny: Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.

Yes, yes we would. There is a double standard, and it's wrong. We don't care.

Got it. Pro-poedophelia in certain contexts. You should be proud of yourself.


We are.
2013-07-03 10:29:20 AM
5 votes:

Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.


Yes, yes we would. There is a double standard, and it's wrong. We don't care.
2013-07-03 10:57:58 AM
4 votes:

Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.


Not me.  I'm totally against sodomy.
2013-07-03 11:32:24 AM
3 votes:
His last words:  "In the immortal words of Socrates, who said ... I drank what?"
2013-07-03 11:00:49 AM
3 votes:

Uranus Is Huge!: They're next to the Mini-Altoids at convenience store counters.


I'm not convinced they're not the same thing.
2013-07-03 10:53:43 AM
3 votes:
github.com
2013-07-03 10:23:31 AM
3 votes:

Gecko Gingrich: Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?

Mail order. You can get anything mail-order.


Have you met my wife, Svetlana?
2013-07-03 11:47:19 AM
2 votes:

AndreMA: I have no reason to believe it's the case here, but what if he was innocent killed himself because he feared beatings and rape in prision? All you assholes who cheer and joke about prison rape need to chew on that a while, then go shoot yourself. Rape is never appropriate or funny.



www.tshirthell.com

denton.smugmug.com
2013-07-03 11:11:02 AM
2 votes:

the_rev: Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.

Yeah, double standard and all that. But I really wonder...how often does that result in any emotional or physical damage at all to the male "victim?"

My guess is, verrrrrry rarely.


I think the emotional damage is dependent on how the teacher looks.   Take the case of Debrah LaFave.   That poor kid is ruined for life.   He's never gonna have anything as fine as that again.
2013-07-03 11:08:42 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?


I'm more along the lines of wondering who makes these things. Can't be very profitable when there's no repeat business.
2013-07-03 11:08:22 AM
2 votes:

Uranus Is Huge!: Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?

They're next to the Mini-Altoids at convenience store counters.


aka Plan C pills
2013-07-03 11:02:21 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.


The broad has the maturity and understanding of what getting the dick means.  A young girl not so much.

It's a double standard that causes nobody harm.  So go forth young penises and have at the older broads.  You'll be better off for it anyway.
2013-07-03 11:02:06 AM
2 votes:
"Sodomizing" is so non-specific.  Can't we have separate words for oral and anal?  How are we supposed to get our dose of fap imagery outrage from these daily, descriptive sex-crime reports if we don't even know what was done?
2013-07-03 10:57:23 AM
2 votes:
"It's not common to see someone just fall over dead in the courtroom even though they've just been found guilty of a crime," Sheriff Darrin White, who was in the courtroom when the verdict was read, told Fox4KC.

I like the fact that this puzzles Darrin, as if he were genuinely disturbed that God doesn't insta-smite everyone after the guilty verdict.
2013-07-03 10:55:13 AM
2 votes:
media.tumblr.com
2013-07-03 10:54:57 AM
2 votes:

NewportBarGuy: Gecko Gingrich: Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?

Mail order. You can get anything mail-order.

Have you met my wife, Svetlana?


About two years ago when she was still Steve from Jersey.
2013-07-03 10:54:02 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.


We get it, you're terribly upset at not being able to bang 14 year olds. Why do people insist on making that kind of statement all the time?..
2013-07-03 10:53:24 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: R.A.Danny: Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.

Yes, yes we would. There is a double standard, and it's wrong. We don't care.

Got it. Pro-poedophelia in certain contexts. You should be proud of yourself.


Felcome to wark?
2013-07-03 10:50:31 AM
2 votes:
Doesn't matter, had sex.

/hell, heard that it is nice at this time of the year
2013-07-03 10:47:11 AM
2 votes:
s.mcstatic.com
2013-07-03 10:27:58 AM
2 votes:

markie_farkie: Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?

RTFA?  There's an imbedded link to another article.. He ordered some and had it overnighted to his work.

So in related news, you can order and get cyanide almost like pizza.


"What about poison pizza?"

"Ohhh no, I'm not making two stops."
2013-07-03 10:19:01 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?


RTFA?  There's an imbedded link to another article.. He ordered some and had it overnighted to his work.

So in related news, you can order and get cyanide almost like pizza.
2013-07-03 10:18:17 AM
2 votes:

Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?


Mail order. You can get anything mail-order.
2013-07-03 10:16:06 AM
2 votes:
At least he didn't blow his brains out and leave a huge mess for someone else to clean up, so he's got that going for him, which is nice.
2013-07-03 12:58:57 PM
1 votes:
Well, what did they think he was Goering to do after his conviction?
2013-07-03 11:44:18 AM
1 votes:

IdBeCrazyIf: mbillips: Sex with a post-pubescent isn't pedophilia. It's shenanigans, but it's not pedophilia. Most 14-year-olds aren't children who lack a sex drive. My grandmother and two of my great-grandmothers were married by age 14. Half of all kids aged 15-19 in the U.S. have had oral sex. "Statutory sodomy" probably means she gave him a blowjob (statutory sodomy is defined as "deviate sexual intercourse with another person who is less than 14 years old" in the Missouri criminal code).

I'm not saying what he did shouldn't be illegal; I'm just saying it's very different from buggering an 8-year-old.

This

Some of those 14 year olds can easily pass off for older as well. I was in school dancing at a club on the north end of Chicago years ago and started to get hot and heavy with this girl on the floor. Things are awesome I get her back to my place and we do our thing and its a great awesome night. Wake up the next day and she's asking me for a ride after breakfast, I'm like yeah sure where you need to go?

"Ohh I have band practice today can you drop me off at my school?"
"Band practice?"
"Yeah I play in  it"
"How old are you?"
"16"

So it does happen


A doctor is examining his female patient. He uses his stethoscope to check her heart and he says, "Nice big breaths..."  The girl says, "Yeth! And I'm not even thixteen yet!!!"
2013-07-03 11:29:26 AM
1 votes:
That should be an option in every felony conviction.

Door #1: Life in prison
Door #2: Death sentence
Door #3: DIY right here, right now. We'll even provide the cup of water and the adult diaper.
2013-07-03 11:28:22 AM
1 votes:

AndreMA: I have no reason to believe it's the case here, but what if he was innocent killed himself because he feared beatings and rape in prision? All you assholes who cheer and joke about prison rape need to chew on that a while, then go shoot yourself. Rape is never appropriate or funny.


Picture Porky Pig raping Elmer Fudd.  That's funny
2013-07-03 11:11:54 AM
1 votes:
I entered this thread with an inventory of 24 farks.  Upon leaving I remain with a full complement of the same 24.  Apparently, nary a fark was given!
2013-07-03 11:11:35 AM
1 votes:
R.A.Danny:
NewportBarGuy: Have you met my wife, Svetlana?

Better check your purchase, they sent me Stevelana last time.


And you've been drinking vodak, watching movies with explosions, and doing unnecessary but cool projects with tools together ever since.  "Mail Order Bro". I am envious.
2013-07-03 11:11:10 AM
1 votes:

Aarontology: R.A.Danny: Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.

Yes, yes we would. There is a double standard, and it's wrong. We don't care.

Got it. Pro-poedophelia in certain contexts. You should be proud of yourself.


im just pro-hotteacherphilia.

/i also have chronic spellingphiliarightphilia.
2013-07-03 11:06:11 AM
1 votes:
Nice! And he paid for the cyanide himself
2013-07-03 11:05:54 AM
1 votes:

Aarontology: I just thought of something.

If this had been a female teacher banging a male student, you guys would be lining up to give him high fives.


Not if she was sodomizing him.
2013-07-03 11:05:23 AM
1 votes:
Parsons placed an overnight delivery of cyanide on June 25, authorities told the St Joseph Post.

The preliminary coroner's report "found evidence of cyanide poisoning," according to the Post.

The investigation is ongoing, but White told the Post he expected the final forensic report to confirm Parsons' death was a suicide.


Now, now - let's not jump to any conclusions.
2013-07-03 11:00:15 AM
1 votes:

Aarontology: How the f*ck did he get hold of one?


They're next to the Mini-Altoids at convenience store counters.
2013-07-03 10:55:04 AM
1 votes:
stevenbenjamin.weebly.com

Careful, it doesn't always work.
2013-07-03 10:54:23 AM
1 votes:
what could go wrong??

l1.yimg.com
2013-07-03 10:54:19 AM
1 votes:
Was it a suppository?
2013-07-03 10:53:49 AM
1 votes:
Awfully nice of that fellow to finish the job like that.  Hard to get that kind of customer service any more.
2013-07-03 10:52:35 AM
1 votes:
To all the pervs out there, please note that this is what we expect of you from now on.
2013-07-03 10:43:55 AM
1 votes:

Torgo_of_Manos: nekom: I'm against this.  Easy way out instead of the well deserved stay in prison he was facing.

and for some reason the other convicts are especially hard on child molesters.


I see what you did there.
2013-07-03 10:41:19 AM
1 votes:

nekom: I'm against this.  Easy way out instead of the well deserved stay in prison he was facing.


and for some reason the other convicts are especially hard on child molesters.
2013-07-03 10:10:56 AM
1 votes:
and nothing of value was lost.
 
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