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(Watford Observer)   If you ever wanted to know how much a typical British hospital spends every year pulling things out of people's bottoms, it's $31,430.42   (watfordobserver.co.uk) divider line 64
    More: Weird, Hospitals NHS Trust, Watford, Watford General, rectums  
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3230 clicks; posted to Main » on 03 Jul 2013 at 9:49 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-03 04:02:17 AM
I was shocked to see this wasn't a Daily Mail article. Seems right up their alley, so to speak.
 
NFA [TotalFark]
2013-07-03 05:54:46 AM
"More than £20,000 was spent treating patients in Watford who had to have items removed from their rectums last year."

I'm betting it's because of one REALLY freaky guy.
 
2013-07-03 08:25:52 AM
I wonder where they got those numbers from...
 
2013-07-03 08:28:32 AM
Can you really put a price on removing something from one's rectum?
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2013-07-03 08:29:58 AM
What sort of alien items?

www.buyspiders.com
 
2013-07-03 08:53:26 AM
Are we sure that those aren't statistics they're pulling out of their asses?
 
2013-07-03 09:08:38 AM
$31,000 isn't really that much money when it comes to hospital bills.  In the US that would be maybe 30 people getting stuff pulled out.
 
2013-07-03 09:15:08 AM
suprmchaos.com
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-03 09:17:53 AM

EvilEgg: $31,000 isn't really that much money when it comes to hospital bills.  In the US that would be maybe 30 people getting stuff pulled out.


Came to say this. That's not much at all for an entire hospital. And I'd put it around 10-15 people in the US, what with all the tests they want to run to determine what's up there first.
 
2013-07-03 09:25:49 AM
And here I've been doing for years for free like a chump.
 
2013-07-03 09:27:40 AM

Beerguy: [suprmchaos.com image 228x344]
[3.bp.blogspot.com image 320x231]


came for fusili jerry. left satisfied.
 
2013-07-03 09:52:24 AM
I wonder what sort of specialized surgical equipment that requires.  Tongs?  Medical grade apple corer?  A novelty accordion grabber?  Derek and Clive?  The Jaws of Life?
 
2013-07-03 09:53:45 AM

I_Am_Weasel: I wonder where they got those numbers from...


/thread.  Someone get the lights on the way out.
 
2013-07-03 09:54:25 AM
I wonder if they sell their ass pens. Just a thought.
 
2013-07-03 09:56:46 AM

EvilEgg: $31,000 isn't really that much money when it comes to hospital bills.  In the US that would be maybe 30 people getting stuff pulled out.



30? Try one. Just walking through the door of the ER is around $15k, and that's assuming you leave before the doctor shows up.
 
2013-07-03 09:59:21 AM
$50 and a bottle of Jack and I'll do it. An extra $20 and I'll put it back in.
 
2013-07-03 09:59:24 AM
I worked the night shifts in one of the busiest ER's in the country for years. I can't tell how many foreign bodies we removed from anal acrobats. There are some damn funny stories that go along with these escapades. I occasionally share these ripping, ribald tales, but first you must buy me many beers.
 
2013-07-03 10:03:29 AM

Dahnkster: I worked the night shifts in one of the busiest ER's in the country for years. I can't tell how many foreign bodies we removed from anal acrobats. There are some damn funny stories that go along with these escapades. I occasionally share these ripping, ribald tales, but first you must buy me many beers.


=============

I've an idea about those stories.  My sister works as an RN in a large medical center....it's not just things stuck in butts either.
 
2013-07-03 10:04:03 AM
That's just ONE hospital, I wonder how much the UK spends annually on that sort of thing...

Seriously they should mandate that dildos be built with a long string at the bottom end.
 
2013-07-03 10:05:06 AM
But they sell that stuff at auction to offset the cost.  A&E is planning a reality show about it.
 
2013-07-03 10:07:06 AM
Any harmonicas?

/cue Sanford and Son theme
 
2013-07-03 10:07:39 AM
Let's be honest here:

According to the BDA*, Waterford Hospital actually performs among the  lowestnumber of rectum clearance procedures of any hospital in the British Isles. The actual number for a typical
British hospital is from 22-27% higher than the figure quoted in TFA.

*British Dental Association
 
2013-07-03 10:07:52 AM
That a steal given how much the GOP has spent pulling shiat out of their asses
 
2013-07-03 10:08:02 AM

clevershark: That's just ONE hospital, I wonder how much the UK spends annually anally on that sort of thing...

Seriously they should mandate that dildos be built with a long string at the bottom end.


FTFM
 
2013-07-03 10:11:39 AM
Does this include the gear levers pulled from bottoms...?

/Would post a relevant SFW pic, but I'm on a tablet...
 
2013-07-03 10:13:03 AM
My old housemate was an A&E doctor, and she would encounter half a dozen of these a month.

Some were obvious - lightbulbs and tomato sauce bottles are incredibly common - some a little more bizarre - an eggbox (not any eggs...... just an entire 6-egg egg box).
 
2013-07-03 10:13:53 AM

booger42: Any harmonicas?

/cue Sanford and Son theme


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-03 10:19:03 AM

Bungles: My old housemate was an A&E doctor, and she would encounter half a dozen of these a month.

 - an eggbox (not any eggs...... just an entire 6-egg egg box).


I can't, how would you get that up there?  Cardboard or Styrofoam would crush.
 
2013-07-03 10:19:28 AM

brap: I wonder what sort of specialized surgical equipment that requires.  Tongs?  Medical grade apple corer?  A novelty accordion grabber?  Derek and Clive?  The Jaws of Life?


img.ehowcdn.com

Insert in rear and the obstruction gets blown out your mouth.
 
2013-07-03 10:21:21 AM

Bungles: My old housemate was an A&E doctor, and she would encounter half a dozen of these a month.

Some were obvious - lightbulbs and tomato sauce bottles are incredibly common - some a little more bizarre - an eggbox (not any eggs...... just an entire 6-egg egg box).


So the real reason incandescent bulbs were banned was for consumer safety?
 
2013-07-03 10:21:32 AM

IdBeCrazyIf: That a steal given how much the GOP has spent pulling shiat out of their asses


Aren't you cute with the trolling?
 
2013-07-03 10:21:44 AM

EvilEgg: Bungles: My old housemate was an A&E doctor, and she would encounter half a dozen of these a month.

 - an eggbox (not any eggs...... just an entire 6-egg egg box).

I can't, how would you get that up there?  Cardboard or Styrofoam would crush.


It was apparently one of these hardish plastic ones.

us.123rf.com


I'm guessing it was semi-crushed and rolled-up a little lengthwise...inserted... and then expanded back to it's original shape once past the sphincter.
 
2013-07-03 10:22:12 AM
 
2013-07-03 10:23:22 AM

brap: I wonder what sort of specialized surgical equipment that requires.  Tongs?  Medical grade apple corer?  A novelty accordion grabber?  Derek and Clive?  The Jaws of Life?


shopvac
 
2013-07-03 10:30:50 AM
Million to one shot, doc.
 
2013-07-03 10:33:45 AM
That's remarkable.
 
2013-07-03 10:34:59 AM
That seems rather low.
 
2013-07-03 10:36:27 AM
I saw this and though 'shenanigans'. Activity in the UK is coded using set diagnosis and procedure codes and I've never seen anything like that.

So I went and looked at OPCS4 procedure codes and whaddya know...


H194:Open removal of foreign body from colon

H213:Fibreoptic endoscopic removal of foreign body from colon

H272:Endoscopic removal of foreign body from sigmoid colon using rigid sigmoidoscope

H441:Manual removal of foreign body from rectum

However... there are MANY 'removal of foreign body' procedures, including from the testes, bladder, lower respiratory tract, tonsil etc. And they aren't comedy vegetables, so the retum ones probably arent all comedy vegetable ones either
 
2013-07-03 10:37:20 AM
They should be given a sex toy catalog with the plugs section highlighted as part of the treatment.  All about proper education.
 
2013-07-03 10:38:10 AM

Bungles: My old housemate was an A&E doctor, and she would encounter half a dozen of these a month.

Some were obvious - lightbulbs and tomato sauce bottles are incredibly common - some a little more bizarre - an eggbox (not any eggs...... just an entire 6-egg egg box).


Light bulbs?? I've heard about that happening before, but didn't know it was common. Does it not worry these people that they're made out of thin, easily-breakable GLASS? Do they like the idea of severe lacerations in an area with 10 trillion (literally) microbes?
 
2013-07-03 10:39:24 AM
Auto-sodomy built the Empire!
 
2013-07-03 10:39:44 AM
The Lake of the Ozarks, Mo regional has a wall in its er of objects removed from people. Mostly types of hooks. The odder things I've seen on it include a spatula unopened beer cans and more then one pencil
 
2013-07-03 10:39:48 AM

legion_of_doo: That seems rather low.


===============

It's Obama's fault.
 
2013-07-03 10:43:51 AM
i260.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-03 10:45:38 AM
Good thing leprosy is no longer a big issue.  Good old fashioned butt sex could dramatically increase the visits to the ER.
 
2013-07-03 10:46:35 AM

Old_Chief_Scott: Let's be honest here:

According to the BDA*, Waterford Hospital actually performs among the  lowestnumber of rectum clearance procedures of any hospital in the British Isles. The actual number for a typical
British hospital is from 22-27% higher than the figure quoted in TFA.

*British Dental Association


How far do you have to stick something up your ass to have to have a dentist pull it out?
 
2013-07-03 10:50:04 AM

Callous: brap: I wonder what sort of specialized surgical equipment that requires.  Tongs?  Medical grade apple corer?  A novelty accordion grabber?  Derek and Clive?  The Jaws of Life?

shopvac


I know an ER doctor who saw a patient who came in with a vacuum in his butt. He was vacuuming, you see, and he slipped...
 
2013-07-03 10:51:30 AM

You Idiots: I_Am_Weasel: I wonder where they got those numbers from...

/thread.  Someone get the lights on the way out.


Yeah, I was gonna to, but found the lights out anyway.
Actually they were missing the lightbulbs.


/cue X-ray
//"...it's either that or his colon has a great idea"
///slashies
 
2013-07-03 10:52:10 AM
www.thestar.com
For crap's sake, Philip! Did you play hide & seek with ones scepter and orb - AGAIN?
Jeeves, phone the bloody hospital & tell them we're on our way!
 
2013-07-03 10:52:52 AM
I know an ER doctor who saw a patient who came in with a vacuum in his butt. He was vacuuming, you see, and he slipped...

I hope they unplugged it before they tried to remove it.
 
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