If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(SFGate)   Get beaten up at a bar and collect $58 million? Sure, I'd take that any day of the wee *clicks on picture* Oh, wait   (sfgate.com) divider line 107
    More: Scary, Cesar Chavez  
•       •       •

27217 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2013 at 10:12 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



107 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2013-07-02 07:34:12 PM
That's a chip off the ol'block.

/seated windowside
 
2013-07-02 07:55:09 PM
"I have half a mind to sue this entire establishment."
 
2013-07-02 08:00:17 PM
Hope he was already left-handed.
 
2013-07-02 08:07:12 PM
I bet he hasn't tried real Spackle brand filler.

And he calls himself a painter.
 
2013-07-02 08:24:40 PM
That guy looks like the victim of a Fark Photoshop contest gone wrong.
 
2013-07-02 08:25:32 PM
imageshack.us

O brother, where art thou?
 
2013-07-02 08:30:42 PM
Awarded, yeah. How do you actually collect at this level?

It's not the same thing, I know, but I get civil judgements against tenants in evictions all the time. The account is turned over to a collection agency with fingers crossed.
 
2013-07-02 08:31:08 PM
That'll buff right out.
 
2013-07-02 08:39:03 PM

djkutch: Awarded, yeah. How do you actually collect at this level?

It's not the same thing, I know, but I get civil judgements against tenants in evictions all the time. The account is turned over to a collection agency with fingers crossed.


That was my thought.  It's a big judgement, but it doesn't mean much if it can't be paid.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-02 08:40:33 PM

LOnger story from a more local paper: http://www.latimes.com/local/lanow/la-me-ln-jury-gives-58-million-to- m an-with-14-of-skull-gone-in-bouncer-beating-20130702,0,5535171.story.

I was going to say policy limits, take $1 million and feel lucky, but LA Times has this:

He said the security company effectively had an unlimited insurance policy because its insurer failed to take steps to limit the policy to $1 million.
Not sure what this means. In some states (including mine) Massachusetts if the insurer fails to defend the plaintiff can collect an unlimited amount after a default judgment. This case was defended.
 
2013-07-02 08:40:37 PM
This is why you never ask your barber 'A little off the top please.'
 
2013-07-02 10:09:09 PM
I kinda wish I was half the man he turned out to be.

/still trying
 
2013-07-02 10:14:24 PM
He's got half a head.
 
2013-07-02 10:17:52 PM
*shudder*

Mind bleach please.
 
2013-07-02 10:19:08 PM
At least he can still breathe, and he has all that money now. I'm not saying that'll eclipse everything that's happened to the guy, but at least he'll be able to pay for medical expenses now. Whether he will speak to me or you before he goes into that great gig in the sky is another story altogether. Hopefully time will heal all wounds. It's gotta be tough losing your job as a painter, but with all that dough, maybe he can find time to do some art projects. With $58 million, you can choose any color you like.

Sucks to hear that the guys who did this are still on the run. But you know, when you're a security guard, it's an us or them mentality, you can't always turn it off.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.
 
2013-07-02 10:19:21 PM
I heard he was raised by chickens.
 
2013-07-02 10:20:57 PM
"It was a species of road rage."
Hehe
 
2013-07-02 10:22:40 PM
Pfft, Mac user

tommytoy.typepad.com
 
2013-07-02 10:23:35 PM
I would rather be a pauper for the rest of my life than live one day in that kind of condition, $58,000,000 would do nothing to change that.
 
2013-07-02 10:26:19 PM
He's got a huge farking dent in his head.

Sorry, were we doing puns or something?
 
2013-07-02 10:26:22 PM
On the positive side, it's healed quite nicely.
 
2013-07-02 10:27:24 PM
Nothing a good hat won't fix
 
2013-07-02 10:27:56 PM

BadReligion: I would rather be a pauper for the rest of my life than live one day in that kind of condition, $58,000,000 would do nothing to change that.


i don't know...with that kind of money, you could get a fedora and a lot of hookers.
 
2013-07-02 10:28:30 PM
Awarded and collected will be two different things.
 
2013-07-02 10:28:59 PM
rlv.zcache.com
 
2013-07-02 10:30:37 PM
The judgement might as well be 58 billion...the victim still won't see a dime.
 
2013-07-02 10:33:20 PM
The damages are unliquidated.  (Laymen's speak - all appeals are not finalized, so we don't know if this is the true amount).

The damages are excessive (Laymahn's speak - usually it take only a handful of millions to care for a housepainter for the rest of his life, like 5-10 million)

The system recognizes that juries often get carried away by emotion and award damages that are unsubstantiated.  This is why we have "judgment no substania verdicto."  Despite the verdict of the jury, for the reasons expressed above it is too high for the damages sustained.  Defendant has at least 1 week to file a motion for this.

Since this is all the case, the judgment will stand.  Instead, both parties will settle, most likely in the neighborhood of 10-14 million.
 
2013-07-02 10:35:52 PM
someone needs to photoshop Gary Oldman's 5th Element hair onto this guy's head.

/for the lulz
 
2013-07-02 10:36:31 PM
I would store snacks in there and have an opening like a pez.
 
2013-07-02 10:37:36 PM
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-02 10:38:34 PM
Species of road rage my arse...more like homicidal bloodlust.  Hope they catch the security guard. K-rist
 
2013-07-02 10:39:07 PM

"The security guard, Emerson Quintanilla, and the bartender-manager who sparked the attack have disappeared without a trace, Sayre said."


I hear Mexico is nice this time of year for murderous untrained security guards and bartender-managers on the run. Feel really bad for the guy. Stood up for his family just to wind up with a permanent medical condition and needing 24 hour care.

 
2013-07-02 10:39:10 PM

BadReligion: I would rather be a pauper for the rest of my life than live one day in that kind of condition, $58,000,000 would do nothing to change that.


Sure, but if I were already in that position, and I couldn't change it, then....yeah, well, something.  It's not like I'd elect for having that happen in exchange, but if that were to already happen...
 
2013-07-02 10:40:04 PM
$58 mill can buy a lotta hats.

/he should look into that.
 
2013-07-02 10:41:10 PM
The team of lawyers will get the money.

He'll get a coupon for a small fry at Arby's.
 
2013-07-02 10:41:30 PM

BadReligion: I would rather be a pauper for the rest of my life than live one day in that kind of condition, $58,000,000 would do nothing to change that.


It will hire a hitman to take care of the assailants.....
 
2013-07-02 10:41:48 PM
he's going to use that money to start a new business.. as a DENTist!
 
2013-07-02 10:47:30 PM
Ah, California.
 
2013-07-02 10:47:48 PM

skinink: "The security guard, Emerson Quintanilla, and the bartender-manager who sparked the attack have disappeared without a trace, Sayre said."
I hear Mexico is nice this time of year for murderous untrained security guards and bartender-managers on the run.


"They say Eme caved in three guy's heads just for looking at his girl wrong, he's one crazy pig you don't touch."
 
2013-07-02 10:50:20 PM
He needs that 58 million like he needs another hole in his head....
 
2013-07-02 10:50:57 PM
Pour some guacamole in there and that guy would be a huge hit at parties.  Wait, how tall is he?
 
2013-07-02 10:51:06 PM

super hardon collider: he's going to use that money to start a new business.. as a DENTist!


I'm ashamed that this got a giggle out of me
 
2013-07-02 10:57:41 PM

bdub77: At least he can still breathe, and he has all that money now. I'm not saying that'll eclipse everything that's happened to the guy, but at least he'll be able to pay for medical expenses now. Whether he will speak to me or you before he goes into that great gig in the sky is another story altogether. Hopefully time will heal all wounds. It's gotta be tough losing your job as a painter, but with all that dough, maybe he can find time to do some art projects. With $58 million, you can choose any color you like.

Sucks to hear that the guys who did this are still on the run. But you know, when you're a security guard, it's an us or them mentality, you can't always turn it off.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.


I'm sure he is too, but that's probably just because of the brain damage.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-02 11:01:24 PM
The judgement might as well be 58 billion...the victim still won't see a dime.

Seems to be either $1 million or infinity insurance available. Take a third for the lawyers, five figures for court costs, less taxes for whatever part is taxable, and the guy could still have close to $500,000 to spend on Bondo.
 
2013-07-02 11:02:15 PM
His friends said his work ethic alone would get him ahead in life.
 
2013-07-02 11:02:37 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2013-07-02 11:04:57 PM

bdub77: At least he can still breathe, and he has all that money now. I'm not saying that'll eclipse everything that's happened to the guy, but at least he'll be able to pay for medical expenses now. Whether he will speak to me or you before he goes into that great gig in the sky is another story altogether. Hopefully time will heal all wounds. It's gotta be tough losing your job as a painter, but with all that dough, maybe he can find time to do some art projects. With $58 million, you can choose any color you like.

Sucks to hear that the guys who did this are still on the run. But you know, when you're a security guard, it's an us or them mentality, you can't always turn it off.

I feel like I'm forgetting something.


How can have his pudding, if he doesn't eat his meat?
 
2013-07-02 11:05:08 PM
Horsing around in a bar like that? He needs to get his mind left
 
2013-07-02 11:11:07 PM

2wolves: That'll buff right out.


I'm goin' ta hell...
 
2013-07-02 11:11:54 PM

Trocadero: [i.imgur.com image 267x200]


Yeah really. Oh well, this thread made me laugh pretty hard despite the fact that I now know what it looks like to have no eyeballs.
 
Displayed 50 of 107 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report