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(WSAZ West Virginia)   What's next? The washing machine? Time honored West Virginia traditions are being legislated out of existence   (wsaz.com) divider line 81
    More: Ironic, West Virginia, washing machines, traditions, local ordinance, existence  
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11182 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2013 at 11:13 PM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-02 07:38:54 PM
I see any number of problems with that law, but then if you have indoor furniture on your lawn you probably can't find the courthouse.
 
2013-07-02 08:19:14 PM
Hometown, had a couch on my apartment while getting undergrad degree from Marshall (almost twenty years ago) and had a few friends who did also, very comfy while sippin Zima and listening to Skinny Puppy. Always felt we were at least classier than those beasts in Morgantown who set every piece of furniture they saw outdoors ablaze.

Ah, the memories.

Also, anyone who thinks this will have any impact on the crap people have on their porch or in their yard has never been to West Virginia.
 
2013-07-02 08:38:31 PM
As long as the outhouse is spared...
 
2013-07-02 08:48:35 PM
Having every car you've ever owned rusting in the front yard still OK?

/happens a lot here
 
2013-07-02 09:44:04 PM

Wall_of_Doodoo: Hometown, had a couch on my apartment while getting undergrad degree from Marshall (almost twenty years ago) and had a few friends who did also, very comfy while sippin Zima and listening to Skinny Puppy. Always felt we were at least classier than those beasts in Morgantown who set every piece of furniture they saw outdoors ablaze.

Ah, the memories.

Also, anyone who thinks this will have any impact on the crap people have on their porch or in their yard has never been to West Virginia.


Chuck, is that you?  How you been man?

(Seriously, we probably hung out at Gumby's at the same time, having upstairs drinks with Ernie)
 
2013-07-02 09:49:54 PM
I understand how old couches come to be outside, but I've never understood people sitting on them.  Once they're out for longer than a month it's a mouse (or other rodent) wonderland.  That shiat is like club med for them in the winter.  Plus, unless you're living in Arizona, the mildew/mold problem presents itself pretty early.
 
2013-07-02 10:03:09 PM

feckingmorons: I see any number of problems with that law, but then if you have indoor furniture on your lawn you probably can't find the courthouse.


Except in the back of a police cruiser.
 
2013-07-02 11:17:15 PM
"That is such a stereotypical way people look at West Virginia, and I don't like that because we are not that way here,"

Which is why you need a law against it, right?

/and what about frat houses at universities?
//are there universities in West Virginia?
 
2013-07-02 11:17:58 PM
I thought incest was already illegal.
 
2013-07-02 11:19:06 PM
Next they'll be forced to wear shoes!
 
2013-07-02 11:19:38 PM

Snapper Carr: I thought incest was already illegal.


Well... frowned upon, anyway
 
2013-07-02 11:20:12 PM
First they want to tell me what light bulbs I can use, now they want to tell me what is and isn't patio furniture. Where will the madness end!
 
2013-07-02 11:20:24 PM

NewportBarGuy: Next they'll be forced to wear shoes!


And marry somebody else's cousin!
 
2013-07-02 11:21:35 PM
Silly things like this make me miss west virginia. Last lived in Dunbar in 2005, parkersburg for a while before that. Beautiful country
 
2013-07-02 11:22:21 PM
Nothing says typical red state "freedom and small government" like a law that tells you where you must place your furniture.
 
2013-07-02 11:22:40 PM
Get some old pallets, a saw, hammer, and nails.  Make an outdoor couch.  Get some cheat lawn furniture cushions, and voila!  An outdoor couch!
 
2013-07-02 11:24:19 PM
So makeshift swimming pools in the back of pick up trucks are still o.k.?
 
2013-07-02 11:24:19 PM
This ordinance is racist. It discriminates against a very specific set of people.

In Michigan, they're trying to legislate Muslims out of their garages in Dearborn. In West Virginia, they're trying to legislate white trash out of Huntington.

It's racist and immoral.
 
2013-07-02 11:24:57 PM

whatshisname: "That is such a stereotypical way people look at West Virginia, and I don't like that because we are not that way here,"

Which is why you need a law against it, right?

/and what about frat houses at universities?
//are there universities in West Virginia?


Pretty sure there's a good university, I think it's where you go to study mining engineering.

Far as I recall their campus radio station was good too.
 
2013-07-02 11:25:42 PM

Mock26: Get some old pallets, a saw, hammer, and nails.  Make an outdoor couch.  Get some cheat lawn furniture cushions, and voila!  An outdoor couch!


That's funny...I'm working on one of those right now. Of course, where I live there's not even a noise ordinance...
 
2013-07-02 11:27:43 PM
Bah. A mans property is his castle. If he wants to put sofas on the porch and rusted trans ams on the grass it is nobody else's business.  The founding fathers would be rolling around in their graves if they knew what sorts of insane, communist laws we have on the books nowadays.
 
2013-07-02 11:28:49 PM
Outdoor mattresses? wtf... I can only imagine the glorious context in which that could be useful
 
2013-07-02 11:29:20 PM
"If they don't show," Mayor Steve Williams explained, "one of the things we are thinking of doing is going on the property ourselves, clearing it and putting a lien on the property. To get it clear."

Holy shiat! So they're basically going to steal people's houses over leaving a couch on the lawn? Doesn't that seem a bit harsh?
 
2013-07-02 11:29:57 PM

Suckmaster Burstingfoam: Pretty sure there's a good university, I think it's where you go to study mining engineering.

Far as I recall their campus radio station was good too.


WVU. They light couches on fire to celebrate football victories. Or they did when I attended.
 
2013-07-02 11:32:20 PM
FTA:

"That is such a stereotypical way people look at West Virginia, and I don't like that because we are not that way here," one neighbor said.

 Then why do you need a law to prevent it?
 
2013-07-02 11:32:53 PM
I'm still alright having transmission fluid in my refrigerator though, right?
 
2013-07-02 11:33:46 PM
Subby has never been to WV else he would know a washing machine is still 25 years away from being introduced to West Virginianites, West Virginineons.... oh fark it, West Tards.
 
2013-07-02 11:34:47 PM

NewportBarGuy: Next they'll be forced to wear shoes!


Had a guy in Navy boot camp who'd never worn shoes before. He was from the hills (KY, I think)
 
2013-07-02 11:38:35 PM
Yikes. Anyone else think of hoarders while watching the vid? Think they are a few decades late on this one.
 
2013-07-02 11:39:11 PM
Is it stereotypical to spell "won't" without an apostrophe?
 
2013-07-02 11:40:39 PM
You see an ordinance that causes outrage.  I see an economic opportunity:

Ladies and Gentlehicks, I introduce to you the Tillerman35 line of Indoor/Outdoor Couches.  Upholstered with the finest Astroturf and stuffed with recycled Winn-Dixie plastic shopping bags, they're the perfect pick for any porch or unfinished basement.

Optional accessories include:
 - End tables made of 100% post-consumer toilets
 - Ottomans shaped like your favorite NASCAR driver's vehicle*.
 - All-weather half-height filing cabinets with pre-labled Pendaflex folders for outstanding warrants, CPS investigation letters, restraining orders, and court-ordered urinalysis results

*For a limited time, the Jeff Gordon #24 car comes hand-signed and delivered by Jeff himself because let's face it, with his career and personal life the way it is right now, he could probably use the cash (generous tips appreciated).

Don't Wait!  Order Now!
 
2013-07-02 11:43:20 PM

NewportBarGuy: Next they'll be forced to wear shoes!


Only in fancy places, like Walmart or the Waffle House.
 
2013-07-02 11:49:14 PM

Philbb: Where will the madness end!


As soon as you learn to act like a civilized human being instead of a sub-human troglodyte we'll back off.
 
2013-07-02 11:53:33 PM

tillerman35: You see an ordinance that causes outrage.  I see an economic opportunity....

I was thinking about the same thing
 - All-weather half-height filing cabinets with pre-labled Pendaflex folders for outstanding warrants, CPS investigation letters, restraining orders, and court-ordered urinalysis results
Big lulz
 
2013-07-02 11:54:40 PM
Careful, West-by-god-Virginia. You're starting to sound like Great-Nanny-State-Britain.
 
2013-07-02 11:55:51 PM
 
2013-07-02 11:58:26 PM

Tommy Moo: "If they don't show," Mayor Steve Williams explained, "one of the things we are thinking of doing is going on the property ourselves, clearing it and putting a lien on the property. To get it clear."

Holy shiat! So they're basically going to steal people's houses over leaving a couch on the lawn? Doesn't that seem a bit harsh?


You know nothing of Apalachia.
 
2013-07-03 12:06:54 AM
Lord knows I've ridden a couch down 4th Avenue many times.  I has a sad.
 
2013-07-03 12:09:32 AM

dj_bigbird: NewportBarGuy: Next they'll be forced to wear shoes!

Had a guy in Navy boot camp who'd never worn shoes before. He was from the hills (KY, I think)


Hey! Me too. Did you know Clarence? I'm pretty sure he was from Racon, GA, though.
 
2013-07-03 12:11:26 AM

loral: Is it stereotypical to spell "won't" without an apostrophe?


Are you sure they are not simply using the very common word "wont"?
 
2013-07-03 12:17:56 AM

jpo2269: Subby has never been to WV else he would know a washing machine is still 25 years away from being introduced to West Virginianites, West Virginineons.... oh fark it, West Tards.


Hey dude, your from GA... let he who is without sin... you know....
 
2013-07-03 12:18:10 AM
FTA:
There are several ways you can report a violation.
You can call the tip line at (304) 696-4444, the mayor's office at (304) 696-5540 or go to the website by clicking on the link below

That's right! Celebrate your American freedoms this 4th of July by ratting out your neighbors. You can become your neighborhood's Nazi.
 
2013-07-03 12:19:03 AM
Went before a City Judge for junk cars in my yard. Told him they were both antique projects.  He dismissed the charges. Said he had his own 68 Ford truck in his yard he was restoring. Never bothered me again.
 
2013-07-03 12:19:16 AM
Remember folks, this is republicans doing this to other republicans in a RED state. This isn't commies, Nazis, libtards, 0bama, or any of those 'other people'; this is born, breed, and true "Real 'God Bless America' Americans" doing this.

/next up: a course in mental gymnastics to explain why it's OK when we do it but evil when you do it
 
2013-07-03 12:23:08 AM

MrEricSir: Nothing says typical red state "freedom and small government" like a law that tells you where you must place your furniture.


You don't understand. When my cousin Billy Bob and Vern the Sheriff tell me what to do that is plain old fashioned neighborliness. But when those commie pinkos from on the other side of Potomac tell me what to do, why they be asking for a revolution.
 
2013-07-03 12:34:17 AM
Rural redevelopment?
 
2013-07-03 12:34:18 AM
At an old apartment we were threatened with eviction (from the start too, no attempt to be nice at first) because we had an old sofa on our shielded from the rain tenth floor balcony.
 
2013-07-03 12:37:03 AM

Wall_of_Doodoo: Hometown, had a couch on my apartment while getting undergrad degree from Marshall (almost twenty years ago) and had a few friends who did also, very comfy while sippin Zima and listening to Skinny Puppy. Always felt we were at least classier than those beasts in Morgantown who set every piece of furniture they saw outdoors ablaze.

Ah, the memories.

Also, anyone who thinks this will have any impact on the crap people have on their porch or in their yard has never been to West Virginia.


grew up in ceredo/kenova. loved huntington.

problem is that it's a college town on one side, ghetto on the other. never took much notice of couches on the lawns really. but frat guys gotta have somewhere to sit outside for cheap.
 
2013-07-03 12:47:49 AM
i172.photobucket.com
Did somebody say West Virginia?
 
2013-07-03 01:05:21 AM
Ok, I'm not the only one who thought this was going to be about college kids setting them on fire.

Carry on, then.
 
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