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(CNN)   Admin - Please hold a place for this link and don't approve a similar one until I consult my parents for their opinion on whether or not my headline will result in it getting green lit. Thanks   (cnn.com) divider line 62
    More: Amusing, helicopter parents, Association of Colleges, professional network  
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8936 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2013 at 5:31 PM (2 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-03 03:14:16 AM  

Moderator: We weren't going to greenlight this, but submitter's goddamn parents called 16 times in the last two hours and wouldn't leave us alone about it. We really just wanted them out of our hair.


+1000
 
2013-07-03 08:05:31 AM  
So...these kids have no sense of personal responsibility or achievement. They have grown up having everything handed to them and when they don't get what they want someone HAD BETTER step in and make sure they get it.

Hence, Obama voters.
 
2013-07-03 08:43:00 AM  

dj_bigbird: first impressions should be left to the child

There's your problem right there - thinking of an adult offspring as "child"


If you are talking about someone who is seventy and their parent who is ninety then the seventy year old is the child of the ninety year old. Child does not inherently mean young.

Child
1.
a. A person between birth and puberty.
b. A person who has not attained maturity or the age of legal majority.
2.
a. An unborn infant; a fetus.
b. An infant; a baby.
3. One who is childish or immature.
4. A son or daughter; an offspring.
 
2013-07-03 09:24:34 AM  
Unfortunately, I think some universities encourage this despite privacy laws.  It's just much easier for parents to do this now if they are at all competent with computers, and then some places almost cater to it.

My parents did not have my passwords or info for college logins... however several times they called the advisor's office, who would then change my class schedule at their request (and no they didn't think my father was me).  Also, a couple times I went to university clinic appointments and would be asked for some test or medication change or whatever due to parental inquiry.  It's like they'd never heard of HIPAA.  It really didn't matter if I tried to stop it - they basically said some of the cost was my parent's so too bad, and that I'd been 17 for the first month of school so I was a 'minor student' while I was enrolled (!?!?  I'd have delayed entrance a semester if they'd told me that...).  I eventually transferred - not sure if the lower cost or older age made a difference, or just a different school, but had less problems there.

They can make more money catering to the parents than to the kids generally, so I don't think all the schools care what they are encouraging.
 
2013-07-03 10:46:24 AM  

Watching_Epoxy_Cure: Dimensio: Watching_Epoxy_Cure: flondrix: RogermcAllen: In Small Town, Arkansas $52,000 would probably put you around upper middle class. In New York City $52,000 is practically lower class.

According to Fox News, $250,000 is barely middle class while $50,000 is too much to be paying a teacher.

Cite?

Fox News pretends that $250,000 is a middle class salary.

$250,000 is "close to poverty", but teachers are overpaid. Also, teachers deserve pay cuts because they're paid by taxpayers, but CEOs of companies bailed out with tax money should not have their pay capped at all.

You might want to ask someone knowledgeable to explain to you what a "cite" is.
Also, Neil Cavuto != "Fox news".

Try thinking for yourself sometime, you'll find the rewards inestimable.


Wow. It's like you didn't even watch to the video to see that they directly showed Fox News making the claims that you wanted to see cited. I guess showing videos of Fox News employees saying these things on Fox News air time (over and over again) is not evidence that Fox News is saying these things. "Think for yourself," indeed.
 
2013-07-03 01:43:05 PM  

ErinPac: Unfortunately, I think some universities encourage this despite privacy laws.  It's just much easier for parents to do this now if they are at all competent with computers, and then some places almost cater to it.

My parents did not have my passwords or info for college logins... however several times they called the advisor's office, who would then change my class schedule at their request (and no they didn't think my father was me).  Also, a couple times I went to university clinic appointments and would be asked for some test or medication change or whatever due to parental inquiry.  It's like they'd never heard of HIPAA.  It really didn't matter if I tried to stop it - they basically said some of the cost was my parent's so too bad, and that I'd been 17 for the first month of school so I was a 'minor student' while I was enrolled (!?!?  I'd have delayed entrance a semester if they'd told me that...).  I eventually transferred - not sure if the lower cost or older age made a difference, or just a different school, but had less problems there.

They can make more money catering to the parents than to the kids generally, so I don't think all the schools care what they are encouraging.


Hey, if I am a parent paying $20k-$40k/yr in tuition, then you better get it damn straight that I am the customer and that I get a say in where my hard earned $$$$$ is spent.  You are insane if you want me to hand you thousands of dollars and walk away.   If I hire a contractor to put a roof, the contractor doesn't go to the roof and ask it what color it would like to be and if it would like solar panels.  No, the contract hammers out the details with me and then goes and does exactly what we agreed to.  End of story.

Now, if the student is paying the tuition, then of course they can go work out the farking details themselves.
 
2013-07-03 02:08:18 PM  

Peki: /thank god we don't have bills, because it's allowed me to scale the fiancé up into financial responsibility. We actually did have to have a conversation of "If you spend this money on Tuesday, you won't have it to spend on Friday."
//response: "Why should I care? I can just borrow more money from Mom."
///repeat, ad nauseum. Took a long time to get the concepts down of "you really shouldn't be borrowing money from your mother" and "your mom isn't always gonna be around to help" and why those are important.


I'm guessing this guy is a fiery tiger in bed with a formidable intellect and a gentle and abiding affection... because otherwise I'm not sure why I'd stay with him, if I were you.
 
2013-07-03 02:08:49 PM  

KipperM: ErinPac: Unfortunately, I think some universities encourage this despite privacy laws.  It's just much easier for parents to do this now if they are at all competent with computers, and then some places almost cater to it.

My parents did not have my passwords or info for college logins... however several times they called the advisor's office, who would then change my class schedule at their request (and no they didn't think my father was me).  Also, a couple times I went to university clinic appointments and would be asked for some test or medication change or whatever due to parental inquiry.  It's like they'd never heard of HIPAA.  It really didn't matter if I tried to stop it - they basically said some of the cost was my parent's so too bad, and that I'd been 17 for the first month of school so I was a 'minor student' while I was enrolled (!?!?  I'd have delayed entrance a semester if they'd told me that...).  I eventually transferred - not sure if the lower cost or older age made a difference, or just a different school, but had less problems there.

They can make more money catering to the parents than to the kids generally, so I don't think all the schools care what they are encouraging.

Hey, if I am a parent paying $20k-$40k/yr in tuition, then you better get it damn straight that I am the customer and that I get a say in where my hard earned $$$$$ is spent.  You are insane if you want me to hand you thousands of dollars and walk away.   If I hire a contractor to put a roof, the contractor doesn't go to the roof and ask it what color it would like to be and if it would like solar panels.  No, the contract hammers out the details with me and then goes and does exactly what we agreed to.  End of story.

Now, if the student is paying the tuition, then of course they can go work out the farking details themselves.


It's odd that people actually think like that.  See, the parent isn't paying for tuition.  The parent is giving their child that money, and then the child is paying for tuition.  That's why it is called parental assistance or parental contribution.  Since it is the student's responsibility to pay tuition, it is through the student that the tuition must be paid. And because it is the students responsibility to learn, it is through the student that the parent should demand quality.

It's like hiring a contractor (student) to rebuild your roof (get a college education).  You can demand from the contractor (student) find the appropriate workers (college), lay out a plan (get the right classes), acquire the appropriate tools (get books, supplies), and actually show up to work (attend classes and studies).  But if your roof is poorly built (college education is poor), it's not the fault of the workers (college), tools (books), plan (classes), or anything else; it's the fault of the contractor (student).  Remember, you're not paying the workers (college) to do the job, you're paying the contractor (student) to ensure the job (education) is done well.
 
2013-07-03 03:19:03 PM  
mgshamster:

It's like hiring a contractor (student) to rebuild your roof (get a college education).  You can demand from the contractor (student) find the appropriate workers (college), lay out a plan (get the right classes), acquire the appropriate tools (get books, supplies), and actually show up to work (attend classes and studies).  But if your roof is poorly built (college education is poor), it's not the fault of the workers (college), tools (books), plan (classes), or anything else; it's the fault of the contractor (student).  Remember, you're not paying the workers (college) to do the job, you're paying the contractor (student) to ensure the job (education) is done well.

that is a really good analogy! well done sir or madam.
 
2013-07-03 04:33:16 PM  

ErinPac: Unfortunately, I think some universities encourage this despite privacy laws.  It's just much easier for parents to do this now if they are at all competent with computers, and then some places almost cater to it.

My parents did not have my passwords or info for college logins... however several times they called the advisor's office, who would then change my class schedule at their request (and no they didn't think my father was me).  Also, a couple times I went to university clinic appointments and would be asked for some test or medication change or whatever due to parental inquiry.  It's like they'd never heard of HIPAA.  It really didn't matter if I tried to stop it - they basically said some of the cost was my parent's so too bad, and that I'd been 17 for the first month of school so I was a 'minor student' while I was enrolled (!?!?  I'd have delayed entrance a semester if they'd told me that...).  I eventually transferred - not sure if the lower cost or older age made a difference, or just a different school, but had less problems there.

They can make more money catering to the parents than to the kids generally, so I don't think all the schools care what they are encouraging.


I've worked at universities, and the privacy laws are very specific about who can and cannot receive information about students.  HIPAA and FERPA are big farking deals.  With a good lawyer you could have gotten a big settlement from your college because that is serious shiat.
 
2013-07-03 07:25:16 PM  

TaterTot_HotDish: ErinPac: Unfortunately, I think some universities encourage this despite privacy laws.  It's just much easier for parents to do this now if they are at all competent with computers, and then some places almost cater to it.

My parents did not have my passwords or info for college logins... however several times they called the advisor's office, who would then change my class schedule at their request (and no they didn't think my father was me).  Also, a couple times I went to university clinic appointments and would be asked for some test or medication change or whatever due to parental inquiry.  It's like they'd never heard of HIPAA.  It really didn't matter if I tried to stop it - they basically said some of the cost was my parent's so too bad, and that I'd been 17 for the first month of school so I was a 'minor student' while I was enrolled (!?!?  I'd have delayed entrance a semester if they'd told me that...).  I eventually transferred - not sure if the lower cost or older age made a difference, or just a different school, but had less problems there.

They can make more money catering to the parents than to the kids generally, so I don't think all the schools care what they are encouraging.

I've worked at universities, and the privacy laws are very specific about who can and cannot receive information about students.  HIPAA and FERPA are big farking deals.  With a good lawyer you could have gotten a big settlement from your college because that is serious shiat.


I'm sure; but at the time I wanted to finish a degree and get a better job - it would have taken a ton of time and energy and arguing with people with far deeper pockets than me for lawyers, and I was far too worried about not getting classes to finish with a pile of college debt waiting for me.  It probably also would have been the last straw in burning that bridge with my parents, even after allowing time for them to stop that sort of stuff.  It has already caused a lot of stress and problems.  They did punish one prof ('probation' status for two terms?) mostly because another prof thought it was BS and got involved but it was obviously standard for them - they were perfectly find with the advisers and health clinic pulling that.  All complaining did was make sure the advisers weren't going to ever help so I could either not get the classes I needed to graduate for an extra year or two, or transfer, which I did - and then I just wanted it behind me and done.

The point was more why I thought this sort of thing was occurring more though.  I'm sure there have always been parents living through their children or trying to own them through adulthood and never letting go - but it's probably far easier for them to do that now, due to cultural differences and technology/communication advances.
 
2013-07-03 09:07:47 PM  

Inchoate: I'm guessing this guy is a fiery tiger in bed with a formidable intellect and a gentle and abiding affection... because otherwise I'm not sure why I'd stay with him, if I were you.


Yeah, pretty much (I'm a once-a-day kinda girl and he keeps up pretty well). You gotta understand, when we started dating, it was very casual; we both just wanted sex. Feelings started to get involved, and at one point I finally said, "look, I love you, but I want certain things in my life, like a house and family. You aren't going to be able to provide that if you're sitting on your mom's couch stoned all the time. If that's what makes you happy, great, do it, have a great life, but I can't join you there. If you want to be with me, I want these things, and things will have to change."

I was very careful though to make sure it was clearly his choice. I did not want to be that girlfriend who goes, "omg you're perfect I love you now change." He had to want to change, and luckily for me, he did, and he's done some amazing work in the three years since. Now, he's got a really good work ethic, went from dropping half his classes each semester in college to Dean's List his first year transferring into uni with more than a full load, and actually has the spark back when it comes to his career (he's a musician, which is also part of this; "normal" employment will never be possible for either of us). We have all the ingredients; we just need life to drop us an opportunity now, and we're good to go.

/and somehow I managed to get him to do all that without him resenting the FARK out of me. If you don't mind, I'm going to give myself a pat on the back for that one. . .
 
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