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(AsiaOne)   Vatican miracle judges approve John Paul II for sainthood, fail to announce plans to appear at next SXSW   (asiaone.com) divider line 20
    More: Obvious, John Paul II, Vatican, south by southwest, La Stampa, ANSA, pope  
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2222 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2013 at 11:28 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-07-02 09:56:31 AM  
3 votes:
Yeah, but the first miracle was just a card trick.
2013-07-02 01:27:30 PM  
2 votes:
Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."
2013-07-02 01:15:53 PM  
2 votes:

Barricaded Gunman: It's interesting that when Jebus performed a miracle, it was bringing a dead guy back to life, or feeding hundreds of witnesses with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread, or changing water into wine... things that were big, and visible, and allegedly witnessed by many people.

But now, in the age of camera phones and Youtube, all we get are things like "Several years ago, some nun was sick, then she prayed, then she got better. It's a miracle!"  with absolutely zero corroboration from any parties not directly interested in making him a saint.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
2013-07-02 12:35:17 PM  
2 votes:

CowboyJeff: If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.


That's strange...your definition of "miracle" seems to strongly resemble "things people did."
2013-07-02 11:32:44 AM  
2 votes:
Aren't they supposed to wait a hundred years or so so that it's harder for people to remember this guy didn't actually perform any miracles.
2013-07-02 11:31:33 AM  
2 votes:
Hologram John Paul II at Coachella next year.
2013-07-02 11:29:41 AM  
2 votes:
John Paul II made sure my microwave burrito was a uniform temperature throughout.
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-02 09:48:11 AM  
2 votes:
In the early days of the Roman Catholic Church, martyrdom was the more usual grounds for sainthood than the performance of miracles, which in modern days are mostly posthumous.

Beatification by martyrdom is also posthumous.
2013-07-02 03:13:16 PM  
1 votes:
i105.photobucket.com
St. Fonzie
2013-07-02 01:35:58 PM  
1 votes:

FormlessOne: jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."

And, this. (Thanks for the reminder that JPII was on board with blaming the kids for kiddie diddling.)


That was from The Onion.
2013-07-02 01:30:11 PM  
1 votes:
To be made a saint in-a the catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That's-a the rules, you know. It's-a always been that-a. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And do you know why? It's-a because she was American. It's all-a politics. We got-a some Italian-a people, they got-a forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't-a get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with-a three lousy miracles. I understand that-a two of them was-a card tricks.
2013-07-02 12:30:21 PM  
1 votes:
The Supreme Court struck down DOMA. Thank you for interceding, John Paul.
2013-07-02 12:13:37 PM  
1 votes:

Shirley Ujest: Back when I was a Catholic and kinda sorta believed , I never prayed to the "popular" saints because I figured they were backed up. I prayed to the obscure ones on my behalf for whatever a 8-12 year old girl needs. They totally let me down.


Somewhere out there exists a lost nerf football because St. Anthony had better shiat to find that day. Ironically, not finding that helped me lose my faith so I guess there's that.
2013-07-02 12:10:33 PM  
1 votes:
I hear he'll be coming to Vati-Con 2015. As an altarboy.
2013-07-02 12:03:46 PM  
1 votes:
This thread is kind of funny, considering Fark is well on its way to beatification of the current pope.
2013-07-02 12:02:41 PM  
1 votes:

ZAZ: Catholic doctrine says saints do not perform miracles directly, but intercede on your behalf to persuade God to work a miracle.


Pope JP the Deuce: "Hey, God? Got a sec?"
God: "Uh, no, rather busy with the universe at the moment. But what's up?"
Pope JP the Deuce:  "See that nun down there? She's got Parkinson's Disease."
God: "I know. I gave it to her."
Pope JP the Deuce: "Oh, yeah... right. Um... "
2013-07-02 11:45:46 AM  
1 votes:
It's a miracle he didn't get busted working rent boys like bulls horns.
2013-07-02 11:34:15 AM  
1 votes:
What miracles did he do, besides shadow puppets?
2013-07-02 11:21:33 AM  
1 votes:
Seriously guys, magic happened.  Zombie magic confirmed by actual adults.
2013-07-02 11:00:21 AM  
1 votes:
LOAD THE CANNON!!!
 
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