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(AsiaOne)   Vatican miracle judges approve John Paul II for sainthood, fail to announce plans to appear at next SXSW   (asiaone.com) divider line 98
    More: Obvious, John Paul II, Vatican, south by southwest, La Stampa, ANSA, pope  
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2213 clicks; posted to Main » on 02 Jul 2013 at 11:28 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-02 09:48:11 AM
In the early days of the Roman Catholic Church, martyrdom was the more usual grounds for sainthood than the performance of miracles, which in modern days are mostly posthumous.

Beatification by martyrdom is also posthumous.
 
2013-07-02 09:52:37 AM
I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.
 
2013-07-02 09:56:31 AM
Yeah, but the first miracle was just a card trick.
 
2013-07-02 10:39:47 AM

Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.


If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.
 
2013-07-02 10:42:06 AM

raerae1980: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.


That. Right there.
 
2013-07-02 11:00:21 AM
LOAD THE CANNON!!!
 
2013-07-02 11:21:33 AM
Seriously guys, magic happened.  Zombie magic confirmed by actual adults.
 
2013-07-02 11:29:41 AM
John Paul II made sure my microwave burrito was a uniform temperature throughout.
 
2013-07-02 11:31:33 AM
Hologram John Paul II at Coachella next year.
 
2013-07-02 11:32:44 AM
Aren't they supposed to wait a hundred years or so so that it's harder for people to remember this guy didn't actually perform any miracles.
 
2013-07-02 11:34:15 AM
What miracles did he do, besides shadow puppets?
 
2013-07-02 11:35:39 AM
Of course they did. Has their even been a top tier MVP Catholic in the last hundred years or so that wasn't put up?
 
2013-07-02 11:36:35 AM
...and he is credited with a miracle that took place 6 years after he died?  Please.  People actually believe this shiat?
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-07-02 11:37:42 AM
manimal2878

Catholic doctrine says saints do not perform miracles directly, but intercede on your behalf to persuade God to work a miracle. Divine lobbyists, you could call them. The miracles are evidence that the deceased is in heaven. I suppose the damned are not as persuasive when it comes to asking for favors.
 
2013-07-02 11:38:13 AM

manimal2878: ...and he is credited with a miracle that took place 6 years after he died?  Please.  People actually believe this shiat?


Double edged sword. For the people who share the faith it's a validation of their beliefs. For people who don't it brings into relief the absurdity of it all.
 
2013-07-02 11:40:57 AM
Oh headline refers to some old guy from Led Zeppelin? I thought it was because Vatican Miracle Judge is an awesome band name.
 
2013-07-02 11:42:02 AM
When will Dolan get his?

Dolan Sought to Protect Church Assets, Files Show

Files released by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee on Monday reveal that in 2007, Cardinal Timothy F. Dolan, then the archbishop there, requested permission from the Vatican to move nearly $57 million into a cemetery trust fund to protect the assets from victims of clergy sexual abuse who were demanding compensation.

Beatification indeed.
 
2013-07-02 11:45:46 AM
It's a miracle he didn't get busted working rent boys like bulls horns.
 
2013-07-02 11:46:12 AM
This thread needs more "you can't explain that"...
 
2013-07-02 11:46:39 AM

Bashar and Asma's Infinite Playlist: John Paul II made sure my microwave burrito was a uniform temperature throughout.


Did he stamp it with the official "Face-o-Jesus" tortilla press?
 
2013-07-02 11:47:01 AM
come on!  get real, every priest who performs mass and changes the wine and bread into blood and wine has performed a miracle!
every priest who waves his hand over the tap and makes holy water has performed a miracle!
every priest who hears your confession and forgives your sins has performed a miracle!
Every church authority who has not got caught in an MBL scandal....

do not deny that the wine has become blood, it is needed urgently for a transfusion!
 
2013-07-02 11:47:56 AM

ZAZ: In the early days of the Roman Catholic Church, martyrdom was the more usual grounds for sainthood than the performance of miracles, which in modern days are mostly posthumous.

Beatification by martyrdom is also posthumous.


Picky, picky, picky.
 
2013-07-02 11:50:37 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: raerae1980: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.

That. Right there.


yous are aware there are many religions in which people perform rituals and accept by faith, right? these things are nothing new. millions around the globe participate. it may offend your sensibilities but it shouldn't be hard to believe these things take place.
 
2013-07-02 11:50:43 AM
GREAT SKY MAN
 
2013-07-02 11:51:35 AM

ZAZ: manimal2878

Catholic doctrine says saints do not perform miracles directly, but intercede on your behalf to persuade God to work a miracle. Divine lobbyists, you could call them. The miracles are evidence that the deceased is in heaven. I suppose the damned are not as persuasive when it comes to asking for favors.


And now part 2 in a series I will call "explaining religious silliness in a way we can all understand" I will cover the topic of "Scapulars."  These items were worn by people to demonstrate their faith in exchange for certain promises or indulgences. For example, if you wore them you could eat meat on Friday during lent and have it not be a sin. Or, in some rare cases, wearing them at the time of your death meant you could enter straight into heaven without having a layover in purgatory first. Essentially, they were celestial back-stage passes. And oddly enough, they looked like them:

www.tldm.org
 
2013-07-02 11:57:37 AM
You have your saints. We'll have our own.

www.brooklynvegan.com

farm6.staticflickr.com
 
2013-07-02 12:00:12 PM

KrispyKritter: MaudlinMutantMollusk: raerae1980: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.

That. Right there.

yous are aware there are many religions in which people perform rituals and accept by faith, right? these things are nothing new. millions around the globe participate. it may offend your sensibilities but it shouldn't be hard to believe these things take place.


Thanks, Dr. Literal
 
2013-07-02 12:02:41 PM

ZAZ: Catholic doctrine says saints do not perform miracles directly, but intercede on your behalf to persuade God to work a miracle.


Pope JP the Deuce: "Hey, God? Got a sec?"
God: "Uh, no, rather busy with the universe at the moment. But what's up?"
Pope JP the Deuce:  "See that nun down there? She's got Parkinson's Disease."
God: "I know. I gave it to her."
Pope JP the Deuce: "Oh, yeah... right. Um... "
 
2013-07-02 12:03:46 PM
This thread is kind of funny, considering Fark is well on its way to beatification of the current pope.
 
2013-07-02 12:04:11 PM

KrispyKritter: MaudlinMutantMollusk: raerae1980: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.

That. Right there.

yous are aware there are many religions in which people perform rituals and accept by faith, right? these things are nothing new. millions around the globe participate. it may offend your sensibilities but it shouldn't be hard to believe these things take place.


He/She wasn't shocked that the canonization was happening.  He's astounded that people continue to languish in the delusion of religion.

And if they'll make people who facilitate child abuse a saint, then they'll make ANYONE  a saint.
 
2013-07-02 12:04:48 PM
'Vatican Miracle Judges' is the cool band name of the day.
 
2013-07-02 12:09:38 PM
Back when I was a Catholic and kinda sorta believed , I never prayed to the "popular" saints because I figured they were backed up. I prayed to the obscure ones on my behalf for whatever a 8-12 year old girl needs. They totally let me down.
 
2013-07-02 12:10:02 PM

illannoyin: 'Vatican Miracle Judges' is the cool band name of the day.


I think this was subby's new twist on the old "make a great name for a band" meme started by Dave Barry.
 
2013-07-02 12:10:33 PM
I hear he'll be coming to Vati-Con 2015. As an altarboy.
 
2013-07-02 12:13:37 PM

Shirley Ujest: Back when I was a Catholic and kinda sorta believed , I never prayed to the "popular" saints because I figured they were backed up. I prayed to the obscure ones on my behalf for whatever a 8-12 year old girl needs. They totally let me down.


Somewhere out there exists a lost nerf football because St. Anthony had better shiat to find that day. Ironically, not finding that helped me lose my faith so I guess there's that.
 
2013-07-02 12:13:40 PM
FIX!!1!

His predecessor was murdered. And he let it go. They made him a deal.


www.rankopedia.com

A deal deal.

Sainthood for silence.
 
2013-07-02 12:20:34 PM
Vatican official arrested in corruption plot

A Vatican official has been arrested by Italian police for allegedly trying to illegally bring 20 million euros ($26 million) in cash into the country from Switzerland with a private jet.

Organized religion criminals
 
2013-07-02 12:25:21 PM
Is there any information on this woman who was supposedly "cured" of Parkinsons? The googles only show church versions of the story. Any independant verification?
 
2013-07-02 12:26:17 PM
Pope Francis should do the right thing and deny to sign the decree.  Perhaps issue a statement, something along the lines of "I cannot sign such a decree in light of all the suffering that still needs to be addressed.  The glory of God and the work of His Church must be focused on helping those who need it most, and working to heal those who we have hurt.  We must not look within for greatness, for greatness lies in our work beyond the walls of the Vatican".

Or he can sign it.  Maybe JPII can be the Saint of Child Molesters.  Pray to him and he may intercede on your pending criminal charges my son.
 
2013-07-02 12:26:36 PM
My pee pee is an ancient relic, but just the other day it started weeping.

IT'S A MIRACLE!
 
2013-07-02 12:27:58 PM

The first "miracle" was called bullshiat back in 2010. Let me guess: the church is just counting on the willful ignorance of their followers:



Link
 
2013-07-02 12:29:08 PM
I talked my SO into cleaning out her clothes closet and donating to Goodwill.

One miracle down, one to go.
 
2013-07-02 12:30:21 PM
The Supreme Court struck down DOMA. Thank you for interceding, John Paul.
 
2013-07-02 12:30:27 PM
If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.
 
ecl
2013-07-02 12:32:05 PM
"Stupid people congregate to practice complex idiocy, pick a new saint"
 
2013-07-02 12:33:49 PM

CowboyJeff: If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.


I call the two most powerful countries in the world spending themselves into oblivion a miracle too, a miracle someone with some sanity didn't figure out a way to stop it
 
2013-07-02 12:35:17 PM

CowboyJeff: If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.


That's strange...your definition of "miracle" seems to strongly resemble "things people did."
 
2013-07-02 12:40:49 PM

CowboyJeff: If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.


Huh?

He wasn't one of the Avengers and you are engaging in some serious retconning to give the man credit for ending the cold war when all he wass doing was shuffling around in his pajamas all day while a mutlitude of Priests were buggering small boys.  Under his watch, and he knew it was going on.  His one and only concern was to protect the Church, not those at risk children.

Miracle my ass. (Sorry, poor choice of words.)
 
2013-07-02 12:41:19 PM
I heard these Vatican miracle judges moonlight as FISA court judges. Do you think there's any truth to that? They're good with that rubber stamp.
 
2013-07-02 12:44:47 PM

gimmegimme: That's strange...your definition of "miracle" seems to strongly resemble "things people did."


I'm starting to think it's a miracle when slow people stay in the right lane.
 
2013-07-02 12:45:42 PM

Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.


Hey man, John Paul Jones was a farking badass bass player.  He tends to get overlooked because John Bonham was a beast on drums, but he held his own.
 
2013-07-02 12:53:15 PM
It's interesting that when Jebus performed a miracle, it was bringing a dead guy back to life, or feeding hundreds of witnesses with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread, or changing water into wine... things that were big, and visible, and allegedly witnessed by many people.

But now, in the age of camera phones and Youtube, all we get are things like "Several years ago, some nun was sick, then she prayed, then she got better. It's a miracle!"  with absolutely zero corroboration from any parties not directly interested in making him a saint.
 
2013-07-02 12:56:53 PM
People who wait for Humans to perform miracles are going to be severly disappointed.  I think that God worked throgh Pope John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Lane Kirkland to bring a peaceful end to the Cold War.  Sorry if that is not Farker approved thought, but for soemone who was living during those scary times, it makes more sense than to just think that man did something.
 
2013-07-02 12:58:49 PM

CowboyJeff: People who wait for Humans to perform miracles are going to be severly disappointed.  I think that God worked throgh Pope John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Lane Kirkland to bring a peaceful end to the Cold War.  Sorry if that is not Farker approved thought, but for soemone who was living during those scary times, it makes more sense than to just think that man did something.


Surely you have some proof to back up your assertion.  (Remember, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)  And because your assertion is based on the existence of this "God," you must have some proof of his or her or its existence.
 
2013-07-02 01:00:28 PM
Lets hope a tornado or tsunami or haboob wipes Austin off the map.  So sick of hearing about SXSW.   It's like the new Burning Man.
 
2013-07-02 01:04:33 PM
I've always thought it was funny that a group of living humans decide which dead human gets to be a saint. Can't you just see those candidates for sainthood sitting around Heaven, waiting for some mortals to give them their promotion?
 
2013-07-02 01:06:08 PM

Neondistraction: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

Hey man, John Paul Jones was a farking badass bass player.  He tends to get overlooked because John Bonham was a beast on drums, but he held his own.


I'm no connoisseur of the bass, but IMHO the bass line on "The Lemon Song" has got to be one of the best ever.
 
2013-07-02 01:09:38 PM

NoGods: I've always thought it was funny that a group of living humans decide which dead human gets to be a saint. Can't you just see those candidates for sainthood sitting around Heaven, waiting for some mortals to give them their promotion?


Must be a lot like the players on draft day

/just hoping to go in the first round
 
2013-07-02 01:11:46 PM

Cagey B: This thread is kind of funny, considering Fark is well on its way to beatification of the current pope.


I'm a recovering Catholic and think all things religion are silly but the new Pope seems like an okay fellow.  The last one was a dick and JP was an ahole.
 
2013-07-02 01:13:04 PM

Beeblebrox: Cagey B: This thread is kind of funny, considering Fark is well on its way to beatification of the current pope.

I'm a recovering Catholic and think all things religion are silly but the new Pope seems like an okay fellow.  The last one was a dick and JP was an ahole.


This one is anti-gay and hasn't done anything to punish guys like Cardinal Law.  (Though he did meet with Cardinal Law in a meeting that wasn't a secret sting operation to have him arrested and extradited.)
 
2013-07-02 01:14:48 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Yeah, but the first miracle was just a card trick.


They all are.  That's the point.
 
2013-07-02 01:15:53 PM

Barricaded Gunman: It's interesting that when Jebus performed a miracle, it was bringing a dead guy back to life, or feeding hundreds of witnesses with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread, or changing water into wine... things that were big, and visible, and allegedly witnessed by many people.

But now, in the age of camera phones and Youtube, all we get are things like "Several years ago, some nun was sick, then she prayed, then she got better. It's a miracle!"  with absolutely zero corroboration from any parties not directly interested in making him a saint.


images2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2013-07-02 01:16:40 PM
Little known fact: JP2 abolished the position of Devil's Advocate. It used to be that a panel of skeptics (often not Catholic) were hired by the Church to try to refute any claimed miracle. But JP2 got upset by modern science being too good at filtering out bullshiat, so he cancelled the practice.
 
2013-07-02 01:17:24 PM

gimmegimme: KrispyKritter: MaudlinMutantMollusk: raerae1980: Mangoose: I know Zeppelin had a great rhythm section, but that's taking it a little too far.

If ONLY that was what was going on.

I can't believe this shiat is taken seriously.

That. Right there.

yous are aware there are many religions in which people perform rituals and accept by faith, right? these things are nothing new. millions around the globe participate. it may offend your sensibilities but it shouldn't be hard to believe these things take place.

He/She wasn't shocked that the canonization was happening.  He's astounded that people continue to languish in the delusion of religion.

And if they'll make people who facilitate child abuse a saint, then they'll make ANYONE  a saint.


So he will be the Patron Saint of Kiddy Diddlers.
 
2013-07-02 01:17:44 PM

neversubmit: When will Dolan get his?

Dolan Sought to Protect Church Assets, Files Show

Files released by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee on Monday reveal that in 2007, Cardinal Timothy F. Dolan, then the archbishop there, requested permission from the Vatican to move nearly $57 million into a cemetery trust fund to protect the assets from victims of clergy sexual abuse who were demanding compensation.

Beatification indeed.


i105.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-02 01:19:03 PM

FloydA: neversubmit: When will Dolan get his?

Dolan Sought to Protect Church Assets, Files Show

Files released by the Roman Catholic Archdiocese of Milwaukee on Monday reveal that in 2007, Cardinal Timothy F. Dolan, then the archbishop there, requested permission from the Vatican to move nearly $57 million into a cemetery trust fund to protect the assets from victims of clergy sexual abuse who were demanding compensation.

Beatification indeed.

[i105.photobucket.com image 444x414]


I saw that.  Those must be some AWESOME cemeteries.
 
2013-07-02 01:19:52 PM

Copper Spork: Little known fact: JP2 abolished the position of Devil's Advocate. It used to be that a panel of skeptics (often not Catholic) were hired by the Church to try to refute any claimed miracle. But JP2 got upset by modern science being too good at filtering out bullshiat, so he cancelled the practice.


Wasn't Christopher Hitchens the last one (for Mother Teresa)?

gimmegimme: Beeblebrox: Cagey B: This thread is kind of funny, considering Fark is well on its way to beatification of the current pope.

I'm a recovering Catholic and think all things religion are silly but the new Pope seems like an okay fellow.  The last one was a dick and JP was an ahole.

This one is anti-gay and hasn't done anything to punish guys like Cardinal Law.  (Though he did meet with Cardinal Law in a meeting that wasn't a secret sting operation to have him arrested and extradited.)


He's just starting and I didn't say he was great, just okay.  He's really about not hoarding wealth as far as I can see.  As an atheist, I'm keeping an open mind on him.
 
2013-07-02 01:21:45 PM

CowboyJeff: People who wait for Humans to perform miracles are going to be severly disappointed.  I think that God worked throgh Pope John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Lane Kirkland to bring a peaceful end to the Cold War.  Sorry if that is not Farker approved thought, but for soemone who was living during those scary times, it makes more sense than to just think that man did something.



I lived through the same period, and watched the actual hard work of thousands of people (on both sides of the Iron Curtain) ultimately result in the end of the Cold War.  I think it's kind of an insult to all of those people to say that the end of the cold war was really the result of some guy in a funny hat doing a magic trick.

We seem to have different opinions about what makes sense.
 
2013-07-02 01:23:18 PM
Add me to the list of people scoffing at this process. For the one thing, one of the first things he did as Pope was do away with the 'devils advocate office'

Origin of the concept of the Devil's advocate

Originally, Pope John XV (sometimes designated Pope John XVI, 985-996) developed the canonization process, and ordered it to be applied to himself immediately after his death. Then, in 1587, and because of growing criticism and abuse of the procedure, Pope Sixtus V (1585-90) added to the canonization process by establishing an office for a promotor fidei, popularly called the Devil's advocate (Latin: advocatus diabolus) whose job it was to argue against the canonization of the candidate. He was to publicly take a skeptical view of the candidate's character, question the evidence, and argue that any miracles attributed to the candidate were fraudulent, etc. For more than four centuries, this process served a useful role in ensuring that canonizations did not proceed without due care, and hence the status of sainthood was not easily achieved. Pope John Paul II made sure that that process didn't apply to him, and amidst widespread opposition from some Catholic groups, he was beatified only six years after his death.

His second move came in 1999 when he realized that his health was declining, and he then waived the condition that prevented the process of canonization from beginning until five years after a candidate's death. Hence, the rule that had traditionally been used to allow for a more objective look at a person's life and achievements no longer applied, and Pope John Paul II's canonization process started just a few weeks after his death. As a result of his own rule changes, John Paul II is now soaring toward sainthood faster than any person in Catholic history.
Link

This guy ain't no saint. He's a slick bureaucrat with a colossal ego who went to great lengths to insure his legacy. It's a shame that this is only going to further embarrass the Roman Catholic Church, for regardless of how holy they claim he was, his real legacy were his disgraceful moves in purposefully avoiding the kiddie diddling scandal. That was a clear case of him having the power to do correct a grave decades long injustice, and showing that instead of being a "saint" that he was just the opposite--a slick bureaucrat who lacked the moral fiber to do the right thing.
 
2013-07-02 01:24:06 PM

FloydA: CowboyJeff: People who wait for Humans to perform miracles are going to be severly disappointed.  I think that God worked throgh Pope John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Lane Kirkland to bring a peaceful end to the Cold War.  Sorry if that is not Farker approved thought, but for soemone who was living during those scary times, it makes more sense than to just think that man did something.


I lived through the same period, and watched the actual hard work of thousands of people (on both sides of the Iron Curtain) ultimately result in the end of the Cold War.  I think it's kind of an insult to all of those people to say that the end of the cold war was really the result of some guy in a funny hat doing a magic trick.

We seem to have different opinions about what makes sense.


Learning about all that stuff is really hard and takes a long time.  Can't we just say Goddidit?
 
2013-07-02 01:24:50 PM
moralcompassblog.com
 
2013-07-02 01:26:09 PM

gimmegimme: FloydA: CowboyJeff: People who wait for Humans to perform miracles are going to be severly disappointed.  I think that God worked throgh Pope John Paul II, Ronald Reagan and Lane Kirkland to bring a peaceful end to the Cold War.  Sorry if that is not Farker approved thought, but for soemone who was living during those scary times, it makes more sense than to just think that man did something.


I lived through the same period, and watched the actual hard work of thousands of people (on both sides of the Iron Curtain) ultimately result in the end of the Cold War.  I think it's kind of an insult to all of those people to say that the end of the cold war was really the result of some guy in a funny hat doing a magic trick.

We seem to have different opinions about what makes sense.

Learning about all that stuff is really hard and takes a long time.  Can't we just say Goddidit?



It certainly would be quicker, I admit.
 
2013-07-02 01:27:30 PM
Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."
 
2013-07-02 01:28:27 PM
This is so friggin' silly.
 
2013-07-02 01:30:11 PM
To be made a saint in-a the catholic church, you have to have-a four miracles. That's-a the rules, you know. It's-a always been that-a. Four miracles, and-a to prove it. Well, this-a Mother Seton-now they could only prove-a three miracles. But the Pope-he just waved the fourth one. He just waved it! And do you know why? It's-a because she was American. It's all-a politics. We got-a some Italian-a people, they got-a forty, fifty, sixty miracles to their name. They can't-a get in just cause they say there's already too many Italian saints, and this woman comes along with-a three lousy miracles. I understand that-a two of them was-a card tricks.
 
2013-07-02 01:30:25 PM

James!: Seriously guys, magic happened.  Zombie magic confirmed by actual adults.


Yep. It's impossible to take the Catholic Church seriously in this day and age.

jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."


And, this. (Thanks for the reminder that JPII was on board with blaming the kids for kiddie diddling.)
 
2013-07-02 01:31:01 PM
What happened to the whole idea of judgement day and that no one gets into heaven first? As I understand it, when you die you don't immediately get judged, you wait till the end of times then you are judged. So how would a group of clergy decide that not only did someone get into heaven (doing gods job much?) but that god also went ahead and made him a saint? That seems very presumptuous on behalf of humankind.
 
2013-07-02 01:34:14 PM
"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called children of God."

We don't put 6 year olds in uniform.
 
2013-07-02 01:35:58 PM

FormlessOne: jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."

And, this. (Thanks for the reminder that JPII was on board with blaming the kids for kiddie diddling.)


That was from The Onion.
 
2013-07-02 01:38:25 PM

jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."


Wow, that's f*cked up.
 
2013-07-02 01:38:50 PM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: NoGods: I've always thought it was funny that a group of living humans decide which dead human gets to be a saint. Can't you just see those candidates for sainthood sitting around Heaven, waiting for some mortals to give them their promotion?

Must be a lot like the players on draft day

/just hoping to go in the first round


John of Ruysbroeck has tremendous upside potential and a great wingspan. He needs to work on his post game, but he's a five-tool player and really wowed them at the combine.
 
2013-07-02 01:44:25 PM

theknuckler_33: FormlessOne: jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."

And, this. (Thanks for the reminder that JPII was on board with blaming the kids for kiddie diddling.)

That was from The Onion.


http://www.theonion.com/articles/pope-forgives-molested-children,101 /
 
2013-07-02 01:46:36 PM

Wolf892: What happened to the whole idea of judgement day and that no one gets into heaven first? As I understand it, when you die you don't immediately get judged, you wait till the end of times then you are judged. So how would a group of clergy decide that not only did someone get into heaven (doing gods job much?) but that god also went ahead and made him a saint? That seems very presumptuous on behalf of humankind.


That's what a Saint is. Someone who went to Heaven immediately upon death instead of waiting around with everyone else. The miracles are proof that the person is in Heaven and thus in a position to ask God for favors.
 
2013-07-02 01:52:59 PM

James!: Seriously guys, magic happened.  Zombie magic confirmed by actual adults.


I know. These skeptics drive me nuts.

Look.... a a religious organization has investigated itself and found that in fact it's leader performed miracles. What could POSSIBLY be suspicious about that? Where's the conflict of interest? I am confident that they controlled the experiment for placebo effect.

See also:

www.skepdic.com

ironicjesus.files.wordpress.com
 
2013-07-02 01:57:55 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Yeah, but the first miracle was just a card trick.


Anything to avoid giving it to an Italian.

www.writeonnewjersey.com

/it's all politics
 
2013-07-02 02:07:18 PM
On the one hand it's silly, but the Vatican laughs all the way to their corrupt bank.  It costs a truckload of cash to have somebody canonized. This is fitting for JP II, because he hung out with a serial molester, Fr. Marcial Maciel Degollado, who even took one of his illegitimate kids to meet JP II.  Maciel was also known to show up with suitcases full of cash.   Here's the book that lays out all the filth.
 
2013-07-02 02:08:45 PM

pxlboy: jaytkay: Pope John Paul II Forgives Molested Children
May 22, 2002 - Vatican City
"Though grave and terrible sins have been committed, our Lord teaches us to turn the other cheek and forgive those who sin against us," said the pope, reading a prepared statement from a balcony overlooking St. Peter's Square. "That is why, despite the terrible wrongs they have committed, the church must move on and forgive these children for their misdeeds."

Wow, that's f*cked up.


Those sexy sexy children dressing all sexy sexy, I mean seriously have you seen how short the shorts are these days?
 
2013-07-02 02:10:01 PM

bopis: Oh headline refers to some old guy from Led Zeppelin? I thought it was because Vatican Miracle Judge is an awesome band name.


no idea on the Led Zeppelin thing, just thought Vatican Miracle Judges would be an awesome band name

/subby
//yes yes John Paul Jones is awesome and we need more Them Crooked Vultures ASAP
 
2013-07-02 02:32:18 PM

CowboyJeff: If we can interrupt the usual Fark (c) Catholic Bashing, lets look at some facts.  When Pope John Pal II came into office the world was in the middle of a cold war that everyone assumed would end in mushroom clouds all over the world.  President Reagan formed a secret alliance with AFL-CIO president Lane Kirkland and the Pope to secretly get money and equipment to the Polish Soidarity movement.  The Bulgarian secret police (the same one that sent aid and wepons to Nelson Mandela) tried to assinate the Pope, and failed.  Soldarity succeded in overthrowing the Polish government and then like dominoes the whole Soviet bloc collapsed, the Berlin Wall fell and then the Soviet Union collapsed....ALL WITHOUT A SHOT BEING FIRED....NO MUSHROOM CLOUDS...for a child of the cold war, that sounds like a miracle to me..and I am not even Catholic.


A-     EXCELLENT WORK!
 
2013-07-02 02:57:55 PM

Jon iz teh kewl: Barricaded Gunman: It's interesting that when Jebus performed a miracle, it was bringing a dead guy back to life, or feeding hundreds of witnesses with a couple of fish and a loaf of bread, or changing water into wine... things that were big, and visible, and allegedly witnessed by many people.

But now, in the age of camera phones and Youtube, all we get are things like "Several years ago, some nun was sick, then she prayed, then she got better. It's a miracle!"  with absolutely zero corroboration from any parties not directly interested in making him a saint.

[images2.wikia.nocookie.net image 640x359]



How does it work?  Well... mental illness is generally though of as an excellent "cause" of this sort of behavour.  Fortunately there are Baker Act type laws on the books to keep these sort of people out of "general population".
 
2013-07-02 03:03:12 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

St. Mercury
 
2013-07-02 03:13:16 PM
i105.photobucket.com
St. Fonzie
 
2013-07-02 03:35:38 PM
Why isn't anyone calling the new one Frankie 'The Pope'?
 
2013-07-02 03:39:43 PM
I'd have more faith in the Miracle Sainthood thing if the Roman church put, say, Southern Baptists in charge of making the determination instead of their own guys already
inside the tent.

Independent peer review and all that.
 
2013-07-02 04:05:50 PM
"Hey, Holy Father!"
"Yes my son?"
"We're getting tons of shiat about being all rich while millions are starving, and that we're protecting child molesters, we need to improve our image."
"We need a miracle"
"Yeah"
"No, I mean we need to make a miracle. Let's make that other Pope a saint."
"The Nazi?"
"No, the other one."
"The one that hid all the kiddy fiddling?"
"Wasn't that all of them?"
*both laugh*
"No, the one before the Nazi. Pope John Paul George Ringo or something."
"Oh yeah, he was popular. Say he cured Aids and rescued a little girl from a lion or something."
"Good idea, I'll get right on it."
 
2013-07-02 11:22:31 PM
Well, 6.44 million catholics can't be that  wrong stupid
 
2013-07-03 06:28:19 AM

Macular Degenerate: Well, 6.44 million catholics can't be that  wrong stupid


I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.


Total Population %   Catholic  Catholic total
6,442,583,922 17.18%   1,181,368,942
 
ecl
2013-07-03 09:43:35 AM

Crewmannumber6: Macular Degenerate: Well, 6.44 million catholics can't be that  wrong stupid

I'm not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work, there, Lou.


Total Population %   Catholic  Catholic total
6,442,583,922 17.18%   1,181,368,942


DAMN YOU OBAMA!!!
 
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