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(Huffington Post)   Omaha man cums into police station to report a murder   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 44
    More: Weird, Omaha, Omaha Police, St. Patrick's Day Parade, vice mayor, Lake Worth, lascivious, murders, Mike Eiskant  
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2013-07-01 05:18:39 PM
Murder he stroked.

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-01 05:20:17 PM
Schizophrenia.
 
2013-07-01 05:43:04 PM
Never jerk around a cop.
 
2013-07-01 05:51:40 PM
Wait a minute, Nebraska now has its very own black person?! Who knew?

They're getting pretty progressive these days.
 
2013-07-01 05:57:05 PM

Wall_of_Doodoo: Wait a minute, Nebraska now has its very own black person?! Who knew?

They're getting pretty progressive these days.


ever hear of Malcom X?

/north omaha has had a thriving black community for decades.
 
2013-07-01 06:12:53 PM
He finished his statement in 6 minutes.
 
2013-07-01 06:21:19 PM
There is no indication from the report that Moore's allegations about seeing a murder are substantiated.

Good to know the police investigate reports of murder, even they seamen credible.
 
2013-07-01 06:53:40 PM

FlashHarry: Wall_of_Doodoo: Wait a minute, Nebraska now has its very own black person?! Who knew?

They're getting pretty progressive these days.

ever hear of Malcom X?

/north omaha has had a thriving black community for decades.


Dude I'm like 40, I can't keep up with all the rappers you kids are into these days.
 
2013-07-01 06:55:27 PM
I came. Again.

/repeat
 
2013-07-01 06:56:24 PM
As officers pleaded with him to keep his pants on, the report said, Moore instead started masturbating.

What the officers might have looked like:

ninjamonkey.us
 
2013-07-01 06:56:35 PM
Testy situation.
 
2013-07-01 06:57:51 PM
They arrest me when I keep my pants on, they arrest me when I take them off and whack it... MAKE UP YOUR MINDS
 
2013-07-01 06:57:59 PM
That man showed real spunk.
 
2013-07-01 06:58:34 PM
"As officers pleaded with him to keep his pants on, the report said, Moore instead started masturbating."

"Hi, my name is Johnny Wadd."

The one time someone deserves to be tased, and they plead with the guy?
 
2013-07-01 06:58:39 PM
'Scuse me while I whip this out
 
2013-07-01 06:59:05 PM
"I'm telling you. Dick was whacked!"
 
2013-07-01 06:59:51 PM
Doesn't mace work on penises too?
 
2013-07-01 07:00:37 PM
Pete and Repeat were on the main page.

Pete stepped out.

Who was left?
 
2013-07-01 07:00:59 PM
With that kind of self abuse, murder is an eventuality.

At least thats what Rev. Mahoney told me. He then selflessly offered to abuse me himself so I could remain pure.
 
2013-07-01 07:01:27 PM
Well, at least he chose to wack off in the police station, rather than shoot up a classroom of 8 year olds. Gotta give him style points for that.
 
2013-07-01 07:05:46 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

if he did not ejaculate, he did not murder-ate.
 
2013-07-01 07:08:08 PM
"I just saw someone choke the bishop!"

/tattooed on the back o' the neck
 
2013-07-01 07:09:19 PM
pfft. submitted last week with a headline that wasn't as funny
 
2013-07-01 07:16:19 PM
Chuckie approves.
 
2013-07-01 07:19:01 PM
 Was it mutual?
 
2013-07-01 07:19:19 PM
again?
 
2013-07-01 07:22:15 PM

thismomentinblackhistory: Never jerk around a cop.


Agreed. With all the gear on their belts, something is going to get pinched.
 
2013-07-01 07:23:14 PM
As officers pleaded with him to keep his pants on, the report said, Moore instead started masturbating.

Cop: I'm begging you! I'm down on my knees here!
Moore: O_O
 
2013-07-01 07:23:54 PM

tallguywithglasseson: There is no indication from the report that Moore's allegations about seeing a murder are substantiated.

Good to know the police investigate reports of murder, even they seamen credible.


Simple misunderstanding.
He didn't say, "I saw one murdered."
He said, "I saw one rubbed out."
The cops just stared so he showed them.
 
2013-07-01 07:29:43 PM
well, that one way to fark with the police
 
2013-07-01 07:29:52 PM
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com
 
2013-07-01 07:32:11 PM
You think that c-word would be deemed offensive on here, guess not.
 
2013-07-01 07:33:11 PM
from the comments:

He tried to beat a confession out of himself...
 
2013-07-01 07:36:51 PM
I blame Omaha
 
2013-07-01 07:42:46 PM
This man is either schizophrenic or really really wanted to get off the streets and decided to go for broke.
 
2013-07-01 07:45:10 PM
Masturbation is not murder.
 
2013-07-01 07:46:10 PM

Lunchlady: really wanted to get off


Heeyyy-oo!!
 
2013-07-01 07:52:10 PM

FlashHarry: Wall_of_Doodoo: Wait a minute, Nebraska now has its very own black person?! Who knew?

They're getting pretty progressive these days.

ever hear of Malcom X?

/north omaha has had a thriving black community for decades.


If by "thriving black community" you mean "farking scary-ass hell-hole ghetto death zone", then yeah.

Get past 24th and Cumming (no, that's the name) and you are in for some scary, scarrrrry sh*t.
 
2013-07-01 07:54:19 PM
I got a Christmas letter from a country cousin, telling me about how her daughter worked at the "Cum 'n Go" market......
 
2013-07-01 07:55:07 PM
2.bp.blogspot.com

Private Cowboy: Tough break for Hand Job. He was all set to get shipped out on a medical.
Private Joker: What was the matter with him?
Private Cowboy: He was jerkin' off ten times a day.
Private Eightball: No shiat. At least ten times a day.
Private Cowboy: Last week he was sent down to Da Nang to see the Navy head shrinker, and the crazy farker starts jerking off in the waiting room. Instant Section Eight. He was just waiting for his papers to clear division.
 
2013-07-01 08:03:11 PM

Nabb1: Schizophrenia.


Yeah that,s what i would say. Either that or an extreme stress disorder possibly PTSD.
 
2013-07-01 08:04:03 PM
wow...old, repetitive "news". Thanx FARK
 
2013-07-01 08:39:45 PM

TV's Vinnie: FlashHarry: Wall_of_Doodoo: Wait a minute, Nebraska now has its very own black person?! Who knew?

They're getting pretty progressive these days.

ever hear of Malcom X?

/north omaha has had a thriving black community for decades.

If by "thriving black community" you mean "farking scary-ass hell-hole ghetto death zone", then yeah.

Get past 24th and Cumming (no, that's the name) and you are in for some scary, scarrrrry sh*t.


oh now it ain't that bad.
 
2013-07-01 10:07:29 PM
FTA: "Omaha police allege that Darrell Moore, 53, walked into police headquarters Wednesday to report that he'd just witnessed a murder, according to WOWT. "

Did anyone else read that name as "Dennis Moore" and wonder if lupins were somehow involved?  Or is it just me?
 
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