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(The Sun)   Jesus spotted in cute 44-year-old mum's ham bagel: "I'm not religious but I definitely won't eat it" (w/pics)   (thesun.co.uk) divider line 98
    More: Interesting, Stratford-upon-Avon  
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12843 clicks; posted to Main » on 01 Jul 2013 at 4:08 AM (41 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-30 11:56:21 PM
A "ham bagel," Gracie?

Sounds pretty good.
 
2013-07-01 12:04:29 AM
oy
 
2013-07-01 12:09:34 AM
I saw a sailboat. What did you guys see?
 
2013-07-01 12:12:54 AM

quatchi: I saw a sailboat. What did you guys see?


imageshack.us

This was the first thing I saw.
 
2013-07-01 12:16:51 AM
Funny, I only see a cute, but crazy biatch.
 
2013-07-01 12:17:24 AM
img.thesun.co.uk

Would rather see cute 44-year-old mum's ham wallet
 
2013-07-01 12:22:31 AM
I'm not seeing it. Jesus, I mean. The gal is definitely cute.
 
2013-07-01 12:34:01 AM
Yep, I see him. Right between the images of the Hamburger Helper mascot and the hideous fish monster... At least, I think it's Jesus. Maybe it's Elvis. Damn, now I'm not sure anymore.
 
2013-07-01 12:36:18 AM
It looks like a melting Mona Lisa or Alice the Goon.

media.247sports.com
 
2013-07-01 12:48:50 AM
"Do you know if they make a Gummy Jesus candy. Imagine being able to bit the head off Jesus"

obscure John Waters story
 
2013-07-01 12:58:28 AM

Godscrack: quatchi: I saw a sailboat. What did you guys see?

[imageshack.us image 620x554]

This was the first thing I saw.


That's just another sailboat isn't it?
 
2013-07-01 01:11:03 AM
I don't get religion.  I just don't get it.
 
2013-07-01 04:12:39 AM
It doesn't matter whether or not *you* believe that this is the face of Jesus in the ham bagel. What matters is that God has used this ham bagel to help this woman with her spirituality.

It may not look like Jesus, but for all intensive purposes, it is Jesus to her. Athiests may understand so-called "science", but they will never really understand spirituality.
 
2013-07-01 04:14:22 AM
But I thought Jesus was a Jew. In a ham bagel?
 
2013-07-01 04:17:39 AM
You want some ham with that fat?
I'm not a butcher but that seems like a crappy cut.
 
2013-07-01 04:18:47 AM
I'm not religious but I definitely won't eat it.

So...she's refusing the Eucharist?  Could she be....SATAN???
 
2013-07-01 04:20:44 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: for all intensive purposes


GRRRRR!
 
2013-07-01 04:22:10 AM

Pointy Tail of Satan: But I thought Jesus was a Jew. In a ham bagel?


The new Law is not written in stone or on paper, it is written into the hearts of believers.

http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/31-32.htm
http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/31-33.htm

Nothing God has created is unclean.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+10%3A9-16&version=N IV

God works within believers to teach them what shall be right and what shall be wrong. Believers 'feel' this teaching from the Holy Spirit. This is the new testament God made with his followers.

To paraphrase, to do what you feel is the entire law.
 
2013-07-01 04:24:28 AM
I'd eat it.   Maybe the bagel too.
 
2013-07-01 04:24:29 AM
I find it harder to believe that there's actually a cute 44-year-old mum from England than that Jesus' face is really in the ham.
 
2013-07-01 04:26:04 AM
I'm sure other farkers have pointed this out, but this is just wrong:
HAM. BAGEL.
[Why_would_you_do_that?,jpg]
/Let me guess: cream cheese, too.
 
2013-07-01 04:28:42 AM
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2013-07-01 04:33:41 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: Pointy Tail of Satan: But I thought Jesus was a Jew. In a ham bagel?

The new Law is not written in stone or on paper, it is written into the hearts of believers.

http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/31-32.htm
http://biblehub.com/jeremiah/31-33.htm

Nothing God has created is unclean.

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Acts+10%3A9-16&version=N IV

God works within believers to teach them what shall be right and what shall be wrong. Believers 'feel' this teaching from the Holy Spirit. This is the new testament God made with his followers.

To paraphrase, to do what you feel is the entire law.


So this is like, some kind of Holy Ham? Personally, I think this sounds like some kind of religious tax dodge. Jesus on a matzo cracker, that makes sense. Well, as much as any religious dogma makes sense.
 
2013-07-01 04:33:49 AM

demaL-demaL-yeH: I'm sure other farkers have pointed this out, but this is just wrong:
HAM. BAGEL.
[Why_would_you_do_that?,jpg]
/Let me guess: cream cheese, too.


It's better than this:

majikthise.typepad.com

Seriously, tho, it's food.  It's not sacred.  If I want to put ham on a bagel, I wouldn't be doing it to offend Jewish culture.  I'd do it because I like bagels and I like ham.

Shoot, now I want a loaf of Challah bread and I have no idea where to get it around here.
 
2013-07-01 04:36:45 AM
Not seeing it.

/what's the opposite of pareidolia?
 
2013-07-01 04:37:32 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: Not seeing it.

/what's the opposite of pareidolia?


ailodierap.
 
2013-07-01 04:38:18 AM
Oh come on! This got greenlit? this made the sun?! At a stretch, it looks like an old bearded man who has seen some days, and NOTHING like our illustrations of jesus.
 
2013-07-01 04:38:31 AM

jtown: demaL-demaL-yeH: I'm sure other farkers have pointed this out, but this is just wrong:
HAM. BAGEL.
[Why_would_you_do_that?,jpg]
/Let me guess: cream cheese, too.

It's better than this:
[majikthise.typepad.com image 528x396]
Seriously, tho, it's food.  It's not sacred.  If I want to put ham on a bagel, I wouldn't be doing it to offend Jewish culture.  I'd do it because I like bagels and I like ham.
Shoot, now I want a loaf of Challah bread and I have no idea where to get it around here.


After that, you're not getting my recipe.
/Challah is for French toast.
 
2013-07-01 04:41:53 AM
Looks more like Jessica Rabbit to me.

i25.photobucket.com
 
2013-07-01 04:46:12 AM
I agree, I wouldnt eat it. That is some nasty looking ham.
Good ham bagel ? Use black forest ham, thinly sliced, 4 slices. A bit of sriracha, some red onion, top with cream cheese.
 
2013-07-01 04:53:48 AM
[shudder] +1 for being put off by the ham. shiny with dubious, unidentified moisture

still at least we now know who is the last person in the UK to still be shopping at Morrisons
 
2013-07-01 04:54:06 AM
I don't see it. I guess you have  to be a christer. Or an idiot.
 
2013-07-01 04:54:45 AM
all it needs with it is some jesus toast.
 
2013-07-01 04:56:35 AM
http://biblehub.com/matthew/24-26.htm

Anyone who has ever read he Bible could tell you Jesus is quotes as saying to ignore "sightings" of him

Plus, why does the paper keep wasting time on these stories? It's a vague, amorphous lump. If you look hard enough(and obviously some people do) , you can see a human looking face in a lot of things: Grease, wallpaper patterns, ink spill, spots on a dog, a picture of your uncle....oh wait :)

Just because you can see what vaguely resembles a bearded man(and frankly, that looks more like a cartoon spook or one from an episode of Ghostbusters) doesn't mean it's Jesus. Back when he lived, every man in Israel had a beard. What if it's not Jesus, it's his neighbor two doors over? You'd feel pretty stupid then, wouldn't you?
 
2013-07-01 05:00:53 AM

AverageAmericanGuy: It may not look like Jesus, but for all intensive purposes, it is Jesus to her. Athiests may understand so-called "science", but they will never really understand spirituality.


FTA:   "I'm not religious..."

Also, 3/10.
 
2013-07-01 05:02:45 AM

octopied: What if it's not Jesus, it's his neighbor two doors over? You'd feel pretty stupid then, wouldn't you?


only if he was naked and I was staring in his window from the bushes in his lawn.

/then i would feel kinda stupid
 
2013-07-01 05:19:04 AM
i've been a pagan too long now - help me out peeps.  where's the jesus?

/i do see the sensitive douche who works in the local record store
 
2013-07-01 05:23:16 AM
was it kosher ham?
 
2013-07-01 05:29:22 AM
Why is Jesus on his cell phone?  Is He calling for some mustard?
 
2013-07-01 05:29:51 AM
Jesus is now in Stratford-upon-Avon, Warwickshire? I didn't know he had moved from Buttfark, Alabama. I need to update his vCard
 
2013-07-01 05:32:04 AM
Just noticed this woman lives only ten miles away from me!  Thank you, Jesus!  I'm off to find this MILFy miracle!
 
2013-07-01 05:33:58 AM
For people complaining about the quality of the ham, you have to consider the source.  The English are monumentally bad at sandwiches.  Which is surprising considering they have an Earl of Sandwich and claim to have invented the concept.  Just google english sandwich and you'll see what I mean.  Watercress?  Cucumbers?

Sure, that's a fatty slice but at least they're trying.
 
2013-07-01 05:37:26 AM
That looks more like Richard Stallman than Jesus Christ.  You know, the guy who started the GNU Project and the Free Software Foundation.

He also eats his own toenails.

I wouldn't go anywhere near that bagel.
 
2013-07-01 05:38:52 AM

bearded clamorer: Would rather see cute 44-year-old mum's ham wallet


She may not be religious, but after I finish eating her, she'll be screaming "oh god!"

/never heard it called a "bagel" before though
 
2013-07-01 05:39:47 AM
I'd jizz on her face and use her hair as a nutrag.
 
2013-07-01 05:45:37 AM
Should I be saddened by the fact that I dont see it?  Do I lack faith?
 
2013-07-01 05:46:05 AM

Prof. Frink: after I finish eating her, she'll be screaming "oh god!"


robohobo: I'd jizz on her face and use her hair as a nutrag.


Subtlety and innuendo not sufficient? You're surely aware this reads as "mouth-breathing shut-in with the mating habits of a fermenting turnip"?

Also, jokes on everyone. That's not ham. That's the newly carved flesh of Jesus, the recently-reported-missing commodities trader...
 
2013-07-01 05:50:11 AM
I've spent 5 minutes trying to find other pictures of her. It's proven difficult. I've found her job history, her marathon placement, and her email address, yet only one other tiny photo. Huh.
 
2013-07-01 05:57:09 AM

doglover: Looks more like Jessica Rabbit to me.

[i25.photobucket.com image 620x682]


This. Or Jar-Jar Binks.
 
2013-07-01 06:00:14 AM
Its ok to eat the body of Jesus and drink his blood.  Christians are metal.  And weird.  Who the frick canabalizes their god?
 
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