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(RamblingBeachCat.com)   If you name one of your 17 kids "Bamboo Flute" you probably deserve to be stabbed in the chest   (ramblingbeachcat.com) divider line 62
    More: Florida, bamboo flute, bamboo  
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7691 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 11:25 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2013-06-30 09:40:07 AM  
At least they avoided "Skin Flute"
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2013-06-30 09:44:00 AM  
His father, Sue, had vowed not to repeat his own father's mistake.
 
2013-06-30 10:09:15 AM  
Let's imagine for a minute that your family decided to named you Bamboo Flute. At the very least it wouldn't be a stretched to imagine that you would probably resent them greatly for doing it. It's also very possible that as a male, you might feel the need to compensate for your bizarre name with an over the top "gangsta" persona.

encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2013-06-30 10:39:49 AM  

DanZero: At least they avoided "Skin Flute"


Heh... came here to say "Meat Whistle."
 
2013-06-30 11:39:23 AM  
The boy needs to meet a panda.
 
2013-06-30 11:40:38 AM  
There's hope yet!

oh, please, oh, please, oh, please...

images1.mtv.com
 
2013-06-30 11:41:06 AM  
ZAZ

Good one!
 
2013-06-30 11:46:20 AM  
But, remember this folks, if you even hint vaguely that maybe some people are just too farking stupid to breed and suggest politely that said people voluntarily (got this Godwinizers?  "VOLUNTARILY") think about getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation so they can spend more their Social Security disability checks on lottery tickets and cubic zirconia instead of popping out farked-up copies of themselves that they'd neglect anyways, you are ten zillion skillion gadzillion times worse than Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and David Duke combined--you MONSTER!!
 
2013-06-30 11:47:17 AM  
The blog author's 5th grade grammar teacher is so proud of that D she gave him.

/unfarkingreadable
 
2013-06-30 11:53:40 AM  
Rain, Ocala, India Kumquat, Lotus, Canoe, Aloha and Damayanti are just some of the other names I could find that are related to this guy.  So needless to say the whole family has odd names
 
2013-06-30 12:01:12 PM  
I'm sure he will get to play a verity of flutes in PMTA.
 
2013-06-30 12:07:06 PM  
I'm just guessing here but i think young Bamboo has some resentment towards his father.
 
2013-06-30 12:15:11 PM  
Ocala, India Kumquat, Lotus, Canoe, Aloha, Damayanti, Bamboo Flute, Skin Flute, Rooty-Toot Flute, Tiffany, Heather, Heather again, Cody, Dylan, Dermot, Jacob, Jordan, Taylor, Brittany, Wesley, Rumer, Scout, Cassidy, Zoe, Chloe, Max, Hunter, Kendall, Caitlin, Noah, Sasha, Morgan, Kyra, Ian, Lauren, Q*bert, Phil, Larry, Moe, Curly, Groucho, Chico, Harpo, sometimes Zeppo, Gummo, Stan, Ollie, Buster, Fatty, Al, Charley, Daryl and his other brother Daryl.
 
2013-06-30 12:21:14 PM  
Good find, subby, horribly written article.
 
2013-06-30 12:30:41 PM  
25.media.tumblr.com
 
2013-06-30 12:39:23 PM  

zamboni: DanZero: At least they avoided "Skin Flute"

Heh... came here to say "Meat Whistle."


Jeeping Crist I spit coffee out
 
2013-06-30 12:41:00 PM  
[Checks location ...]  Yeah, it figures; Gainesville.
 
2013-06-30 12:47:09 PM  
My name is Bamboo, How do you do?, Now you're gonna die

/RIP Shel Silverstein
 
2013-06-30 12:47:25 PM  
haha.  it is both the figurative and literal definition of arrested developments.
 
2013-06-30 12:50:55 PM  
Translation: I would like to procure a flight for all of my good friends to come visit me at my current location. You should also be aware that I am doing quite well and currently on a path to success. I miss all my good friends from the Gainesville area and I am also making a concerted effort to represent the 352 area code as best I can in everything that I do.

It's always hilarious when someone purports to write a proper-English translation of a slangy quote and winds up writing something that would get a B- in seventh grade English.
 
2013-06-30 12:57:04 PM  

ZAZ: His father, Sue, had vowed not to repeat his own father's mistake.


I think if I ever have a sin I'll name him Bill or George or anything but Bamboo Flute!
 
2013-06-30 01:00:20 PM  
Crazy in here.
 
2013-06-30 01:01:35 PM  

DanZero: At least they avoided "Skin Flute"


And there I went and made a similar comment on the article's page before coming here. Still, it was obvious, wasn't it?

I suppose if my name were Bamboo Flute I might be a bit nuts, too.
 
2013-06-30 01:14:23 PM  
How about Max Power? I named my kid Max Power Mylastname.

Surprised that the wife's and my parents like it.
 
2013-06-30 01:18:05 PM  
Dear parents to be:

I understand your desire to give your child a unique name that lets everyone know that s/he is an individual, unlike all the other children.  Before you do, please ask yourself this one question: "Am I an incredibly wealthy actor or musician who is going to leave the child untold millions of dollars when I die?"  If you answered yes to that question, go for it.  Name your kid Squamosal Dandelion Pilot, or whatever, and rest assured that s/he will grow up with every need provided for.   However, if you answered no, your kid really has no reason to wait for you to die a natural death.  You'll be better off naming the kid "John" or "Sally" and letting it find its own way to be unique.

Yours sincerely;
-FloydA
 
2013-06-30 01:22:07 PM  

FloydA: Name your kid Squamosal Dandelion Pilot, or whatever, and rest assured that s/he will grow up with every need provided for.


encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com

Not necessarily...
 
2013-06-30 01:26:37 PM  
I know we like to poke fun at countries who put restrictions on what you can name your children but as I get older the more I think it might not be that bad of an idea.
 
2013-06-30 01:27:33 PM  

ZAZ: His father, Sue, had vowed not to repeat his own father's mistake.


Life ain't easy for a boy named sue.
 
2013-06-30 01:31:30 PM  
Is it just me or is there some perverse rule of life which states that the people who should be having kids aren't and the people who shouldn't are having them in large numbers?
 
2013-06-30 01:39:59 PM  

quatchi: Is it just me or is there some perverse rule of life which states that the people who should be having kids aren't and the people who shouldn't are having them in large numbers?


www.voght.org
 
2013-06-30 01:53:14 PM  
Bamboo is represented by the lawyer Biggus Dikkus.
 
2013-06-30 02:08:45 PM  

quatchi: Is it just me or is there some perverse rule of life which states that the people who should be having kids aren't and the people who shouldn't are having them in large numbers?


More like an observation.  It's one of the ironies of natural selection.
 
2013-06-30 02:21:12 PM  

Psycat: But, remember this folks, if you even hint vaguely that maybe some people are just too farking stupid to breed and suggest politely that said people voluntarily (got this Godwinizers?  "VOLUNTARILY") think about getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation so they can spend more their Social Security disability checks on lottery tickets and cubic zirconia instead of popping out farked-up copies of themselves that they'd neglect anyways, you are ten zillion skillion gadzillion times worse than Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and David Duke combined--you MONSTER!!

This. Population control is such a taboo issue and it shouldn't be. There are over 7 billion of us. We're not an endangered species and, forget oil. DRINKING WATER might be a probem. Sooniish. After the second kid, the fools in TFA should have been snipped and clipped.

 
2013-06-30 02:40:48 PM  
So it wasn't because of the fact that his father turned his mother's vajayjay into a clown car.  It wasn't because with 17 kids the parents had to give each of their gets just about the same amount of attention as someone with ADD gives to . . .oh hey butterfly!  Look at that, and that squirrel!

Anyways, where was I?  Oh yeah, lack of quality parental attention.  You're telling me that the fact that this kid had to go through life with the name Bamboo Flute Blanchard (B.F Blanchard if you're hardcore) was the reason that drove him over the cliff?  On second thought, if it wasn't and the other was; Duggars ought to be investing in some kevlar nighties.
 
2013-06-30 02:45:09 PM  

Psycat: But, remember this folks, if you even hint vaguely that maybe some people are just too farking stupid to breed and suggest politely that said people voluntarily (got this Godwinizers?  "VOLUNTARILY") think about getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation so they can spend more their Social Security disability checks on lottery tickets and cubic zirconia instead of popping out farked-up copies of themselves that they'd neglect anyways, you are ten zillion skillion gadzillion times worse than Josef Stalin, Adolf Hitler, and David Duke combined--you MONSTER!!


Are we going to have IQ tests on surrogate mothers and sperm donors then?  Because breeding and parenting are two different things.
 
2013-06-30 02:55:35 PM  
The awesome usage of that owl picture made the worth reading.

You could say *puts on sunglasses*... It was a real hoot!

/YEEEeeeeeeeeaaah!
 
2013-06-30 03:01:45 PM  

Lionel Mandrake: quatchi: Is it just me or is there some perverse rule of life which states that the people who should be having kids aren't and the people who shouldn't are having them in large numbers?

[familytree.jpg]


Well, that's disheartening.

*thinks about recent Chad Kroeger/Avril Lavigne wedding thread*

*shudders*
 
2013-06-30 03:05:31 PM  
Friend of the family here:

These are good, productive folks. The family is a very cohesive unit and do a lot for the community. Unfortunately in any large enough population you will have a bad egg, this kid has had severe mental difficulties most of his life. It has been a struggle for all of them to try and help him. I saw Bamboo last week and he was obviously suffering. Judge all you want and lay whatever blame you opine fitting, but heaven hope something like this never happens to someone you know or love. Mental illness doesnt care if you are the inventor of game theory, a famous actor, a homeless veteran, or part of a large loving hippie family. So make your jokes and don't worry about the actual human beings affecred by this.
 
2013-06-30 03:11:24 PM  
Shirley Q Liquor approves
 
2013-06-30 03:42:13 PM  
I loved the thug-to-English translation.
 
2013-06-30 03:48:15 PM  

DanZero: At least they avoided "Skin Flute"


Might "Bamboo Flute" not be an Asian variant on that?
 
2013-06-30 04:02:05 PM  

delysid25: Friend of the family here:

These are good, productive folks. The family is a very cohesive unit and do a lot for the community. Unfortunately in any large enough population you will have a bad egg, this kid has had severe mental difficulties most of his life. It has been a struggle for all of them to try and help him. I saw Bamboo last week and he was obviously suffering. Judge all you want and lay whatever blame you opine fitting, but heaven hope something like this never happens to someone you know or love. Mental illness doesnt care if you are the inventor of game theory, a famous actor, a homeless veteran, or part of a large loving hippie family. So make your jokes and don't worry about the actual human beings affecred by this.


Your friends should be ashamed of themselves for being hippie assholes who would name their kids hippie asshole names.
 
2013-06-30 04:05:58 PM  
I swear on all that is holy to Fark (so, beer and titties and not much else) I know a librarian that named her son Red Kitten.

And I'm the one without a degree.
 
2013-06-30 04:07:07 PM  

Bacontastesgood: The blog author's 5th grade grammar teacher is so proud of that D she gave him.

/unfarkingreadable


^^^
 
2013-06-30 05:00:36 PM  

delysid25: Friend of the family here:

These are good, productive folks. The family is a very cohesive unit and do a lot for the community. Unfortunately in any large enough population you will have a bad egg, this kid has had severe mental difficulties most of his life. It has been a struggle for all of them to try and help him. I saw Bamboo last week and he was obviously suffering. Judge all you want and lay whatever blame you opine fitting, but heaven hope something like this never happens to someone you know or love. Mental illness doesnt care if you are the inventor of game theory, a famous actor, a homeless veteran, or part of a large loving hippie family. So make your jokes and don't worry about the actual human beings affecred by this.


I doubt that it stems from his name alone.

Also, If he was a hardcore gangster (even if he thought he was one), he should have stabbed himself to show how hardcore he was.

Not so hardcore after all.
 
2013-06-30 05:15:23 PM  

The Flexecutioner: haha.  it is both the figurative and literal definition of arrested developments.


Shut up, Ron Howard.
 
2013-06-30 05:26:52 PM  

DanZero: At least they avoided "Skin Flute"


I can easily imagine where that would be stabbed.
 
2013-06-30 05:28:45 PM  
skin clarinet
 
2013-06-30 05:32:02 PM  

MontanaDave: ZAZ: His father, Sue, had vowed not to repeat his own father's mistake.
I think if I ever have a sin I'll name him Bill or George or anything but Bamboo Flute!


The bamboo flute is not a sin!
 
2013-06-30 05:40:31 PM  

delysid25: So make your jokes and don't worry about the actual human beings affecred by this.


I just hope the family never sees this thread; you may have inadvertently given them the name for child #18.
 
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