If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Eater)   The contract for employees working at Crazy Amy's Baking Company is as farked up as you would imagine   (eater.com) divider line 27
    More: Obvious, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Gordon Ramsay  
•       •       •

20060 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 10:42 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2013-06-30 12:54:24 PM  
6 votes:
Yes. Baseball nails. They're a special kind of nail. Shut up.
2013-06-30 11:08:02 AM  
5 votes:
www.addictinginfo.org

174.132.188.98
cdn1.iofferphoto.com
image.lahona.com
2013-06-30 11:38:23 AM  
4 votes:
17) The recipes and techniques that have been developed by Amy at ABC are exclusive and shall remain confidential. Any removal of recipes will be considered theft.

So, if we open a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli like she does in the back, we're in violation?
2013-06-30 03:26:08 PM  
3 votes:
i.imgur.com
2013-06-30 01:58:01 PM  
3 votes:
bunner:  if Armageddon started outside of my window in 5 min. not only would I not be surprised, I would probably dance.

Guilty pleasure movie, hard to dance to though
2013-06-30 01:39:46 PM  
3 votes:

ZeroCorpse: I wish they'd just throw these two into a cage with the Koch brothers and a few baseball nail-filled baseball bats, and tell them only one person will be let out of the cage in the end.

And then don't open the cage in the end, anyway, because the winner had "an attitude."


This is my idea for one of those big, outdoor summer festivals. This is called Slug Fest. This is for men only. Here's what you do. You get about a hundred thousand of these farking men. You know the ones I mean. These macho motherfarkers. These strutting, preening, posturing, hairy, sweaty, alpha male jackoffs. The muscle assholes. You take about a hundred thousand of these disgusting pricks, and you throw them in a big dirt arena, big twenty-five acre dirt arena. And you just let them beat the shiat out of each other  for twenty-four hours non-stop. No food, no water, just whiskey and PCP. And you just let them punch and pound and kick the shiat out of each other until only one guy is left standing, then you take that guy and you put him on a pedestal and you shoot him in the farking head.
2013-06-30 11:20:27 AM  
3 votes:
I like the "no food in the kitchen" rule. Tough but fair!
2013-06-30 04:31:41 PM  
2 votes:
No visiting or unnecessary talking is allowed during your work shift. This causes distractions and results in loss of product. Any may result in possible harm to you, or to others.

I think that's a typo. They probably meant "Amy."
2013-06-30 01:02:46 PM  
2 votes:
Dear greedhead, yuppie, designer, money worshiping, leftover '80s, Reagan fellating, neocon, gimme gimme, oppressive twats, corporate whores, dime store thugs, billionaire sh*tstains and sock puppet politicians.

The people who put money in your pockets are really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, fed up with your sh*t.

No.

Really.
2013-06-30 12:53:49 PM  
2 votes:
I wish they'd just throw these two into a cage with the Koch brothers and a few baseball nail-filled baseball bats, and tell them only one person will be let out of the cage in the end.

And then don't open the cage in the end, anyway, because the winner had "an attitude."
2013-06-30 11:03:19 AM  
2 votes:
FTFC: 5). Any type of attitude will result in immediate termination.

assets.amuniversal.com
2013-06-30 11:01:42 AM  
2 votes:
5) Any type of attitude will result in immediate termination.

So my good attitude will be cause for termination. Check.
2013-06-30 10:54:25 AM  
2 votes:
5). Any type of attitude will result in immediate termination.

This applies to Amy herself? Yes? No?

14). Respect and distance must be given to all fellow employees. No harassment or bulling of any type will be tolerated and will be cause for immediate termination.

Yeah. I'm with them on this: no bulling in the store. Feel free to bull yourself silly on your on own time.
2013-06-30 03:48:21 AM  
2 votes:

Bathia_Mapes: 13). Any product such as food or plates that are broken or burned due to direct negligence will be taken from your pay check at ABC's cost.


Pretty sure that and keeping an employee's tips are illegal, even if the employee signs a contract. Hopefully the state labor board will investigate.


I'm pretty sure that Crazy Amy lumps the state labor board in with all the other "haters".
2013-06-30 09:56:07 PM  
1 votes:
5). Any type of attitude will result in immediate termination.

Helpful attitude? Fired! Cheerful attitude? Fired. Good luck finding Zen Masters to dish up your slop.
2013-06-30 07:05:46 PM  
1 votes:

Commander_Neckbeard: A lot of that stuff is pretty boilerplate for the food industry, one of the major issues I have with it is the charging the employee for missing days.  Now we don't know what other agreements and policies there are in place, but if you have an employee that's sick with something like the flu.  They can't call in because on top of not getting paid for that day, they might lose wages from before, so they come in, transmit the disease to co-workers and customers and cause the company to lose even MORE money than they would have being short staffed that day.

The Holiday thing is a lack of planning and foresight in addition to being cheap, and again the docking pay thing.

The tips thing looks more like a way to get away from the tipping controversy,  pay their people at least minimum wage and do away with having to deal with tips.  Not unusual, something of a prick move, but not out of the ordinary.

The non-compete clause, however, seems way over the top, this is fine when an industry fits in a certain niche and doesn't want employes taking expertise to a direct competitor, but this is a restaurant.  This means that someone who leaves there may be facing a whole year of unemployment because being wait-staff or cook is the only thing they know.  Non-compete clauses are ok when a companies competitors number less than 10 nationally, it's terrible when you might have that many just in the 1 mile radius around the business.


In over 20 years in this industry, I have never garnished, or "fined" and employee's wages for conduct related issues. No show, no call, no job. THAT is the standard. Docking wages for behavior is more than a bit hinkey. They worked the hours, they get paid for them. Put someone on disciplinary leave? Yes, that happens, and it's usually the step before firing--but if someone works the hours, they get paid for the hours. Replacing broken equipment or dishes? That is a solid dick move, because accidents DO happen. In very few cases could I justify trying to get an employee to replace equipment of pay for something that they ruined, and that would have to be bare, nekkid negligence after being trained upon the station or procedure, or just outright dickishness, and that would also go in line with firing, immediately. Theft? That's a whole different story, and that's not docking pay, that is the step before charges are filed, and if there is restitution, then we can NOT file charges, and leave them with the chance of getting another job in the industry, but for DAMNS sure, their recommendation is going to be chilly--without charges filed, it is unofficial and thus you don't mention, "she's a f*cking thief" but you use key words like "inter personnel problems" or "trust issues."

Holidays? That is the really sucky part of the job, but then again, you also balance those days so only your management are doing all the holidays. Chefs work when others are playing. It's our curse. Well, that and dodging very close to sexual harassment suits with waitstaff and hostesses.

Non-compete clause? WTF? These are servers and line cooks. Your chef, your KM, your GM, you might think about putting it in, but considering that she opens boxes of pastries and sells them at a markup, the "secret" practices aren't exactly tradecraft. That is just plain over-reach, and a power trip. The whole thing drips of adequacy issues, and tragic over compensation to make her business seem much more important than a f*cking bakery that resells other folks' pastries. Which is really, why you could only laugh at someone trying to get you to sign something like this.

I've had to do NDAs--opening a new joint in Phoenix, out here in Western Mass when a place merged with another company and joined two breweries into a decent sized brewing empire--and even then I was never brought into a "non-compete" clause, and I wrote half the gottverdammt menu and handbook. That is just delusions of competence screaming out to the heavens. These are some odd, odd, odd people who have seen way too much television, and have too many friends who talk about their own industries, and they seem to think a bakery is on the same scale.
2013-06-30 01:22:33 PM  
1 votes:
Sheriff Joe is just down the street and he can provide lots of help for pennies on the dollar.
2013-06-30 11:55:50 AM  
1 votes:

bunner: TV's Vinnie: eiger:

You and your company is what's wrong with American employers.

THIS!

Plug and play labor.  It's why your boss can sneer at you from his BMW as you board the bus.  See servitude.


There's a cure for that.

affordablehousinginstitute.org
2013-06-30 11:46:24 AM  
1 votes:

eiger: eiger: BizarreMan: Not to white knight Crazy Amy but, many of those don't seem too outrageous.

Expecting people to be on time and ready to start working when their shift is scheduled to begin isn't unreasonable.

Telling people up front to expect to work weekends and holidays is fine too.  When we hire people where I work we tell people up front that they are not guaranteed any specific shift or any specific days.  They are expected to be able to work whatever we put them on the schedule.  Employees will agree that yes, they can work any time.  Until they get the job and the first schedule comes out, then it's I can't work that day because I have church, I can't work that day because I don't have daycare for my child.....

You and your company is are what's wrong with American employers.

FTFM


Ah, a job tyrant AND a spelling Kommandant, eh?

Noted
2013-06-30 11:41:38 AM  
1 votes:

eiger: BizarreMan: Not to white knight Crazy Amy but, many of those don't seem too outrageous.

Expecting people to be on time and ready to start working when their shift is scheduled to begin isn't unreasonable.

Telling people up front to expect to work weekends and holidays is fine too.  When we hire people where I work we tell people up front that they are not guaranteed any specific shift or any specific days.  They are expected to be able to work whatever we put them on the schedule.  Employees will agree that yes, they can work any time.  Until they get the job and the first schedule comes out, then it's I can't work that day because I have church, I can't work that day because I don't have daycare for my child.....


You and your company is what's wrong with American employers.

wwwdelivery.superstock.com

THIS!
2013-06-30 11:39:36 AM  
1 votes:

TV's Vinnie: 17) The recipes and techniques that have been developed by Amy at ABC are exclusive and shall remain confidential. Any removal of recipes will be considered theft.

So, if we open a can of Chef Boyardee Ravioli like she does in the back, we're in violation?


Yes. Also, you are prohibited from ordering cakes and pastries from professional bakeries.
2013-06-30 11:38:27 AM  
1 votes:

BizarreMan: Not to white knight Crazy Amy but, many of those don't seem too outrageous.

Expecting people to be on time and ready to start working when their shift is scheduled to begin isn't unreasonable.

Telling people up front to expect to work weekends and holidays is fine too.  When we hire people where I work we tell people up front that they are not guaranteed any specific shift or any specific days.  They are expected to be able to work whatever we put them on the schedule.  Employees will agree that yes, they can work any time.  Until they get the job and the first schedule comes out, then it's I can't work that day because I have church, I can't work that day because I don't have daycare for my child.....


You and your company is what's wrong with American employers.
2013-06-30 11:30:54 AM  
1 votes:
I bet gordon ramsay has sent these two insane people the biggest fruit basket or bouquet of flowers available for all the great publicity months after that kitchen nightmares aired
2013-06-30 11:12:47 AM  
1 votes:
Where do we sign up?

wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com
2013-06-30 11:03:53 AM  
1 votes:
This is an Onion article. I can tell by the pixels.
2013-06-30 11:02:51 AM  
1 votes:
Any guesses on Amy's political leanings?
2013-06-30 09:56:34 AM  
1 votes:
Not to white knight Crazy Amy but, many of those don't seem too outrageous.

Expecting people to be on time and ready to start working when their shift is scheduled to begin isn't unreasonable.

Telling people up front to expect to work weekends and holidays is fine too.  When we hire people where I work we tell people up front that they are not guaranteed any specific shift or any specific days.  They are expected to be able to work whatever we put them on the schedule.  Employees will agree that yes, they can work any time.  Until they get the job and the first schedule comes out, then it's I can't work that day because I have church, I can't work that day because I don't have daycare for my child.....
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report