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(Medford Mail Tribune)   Attention fireworks enthusiasts: There's a very good reason why mortars are launched from tubes and have extra long wicks. So if one doesn't fire, taking it out of the tube and lighting the 1/4" of remaining wick is not advisable   ( divider line
    More: Fail, Oregon Health & Science University, brightness  
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11376 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 11:26 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

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2013-06-30 11:36:52 AM  
3 votes:
Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.
2013-06-30 11:01:38 AM  
3 votes:
"Please enable Javascript"

lol No.
2013-06-30 01:55:42 PM  
2 votes:

My Yali or Yours: This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.

We are building a fireworks show of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our tradition in the spirit of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.
2013-06-30 12:15:14 PM  
2 votes:
Guess we know for sure which hand he uses to jack off with now.
2013-06-30 06:21:20 PM  
1 vote:
2013-06-30 03:53:02 PM  
1 vote:

I saw it again recently in a safety talk about pyrotechnic fx, together with photos of a hand that was essentially skeletonized by a firework (it seems like "completely blown off" might be preferable) and somebody's butt after a firework went off in it (crater where buttocks used to be). Those were pretty disturbing but Sad Faceless Man will always be the worst.

In the age-old battle between fireworks and butts, the fireworks always win.  (nsfw)
2013-06-30 03:05:12 PM  
1 vote:
"They tried to light it, (and) it dudded out," Budreau said. "It didn't launch into the air. It just kind of flew into the driveway."

Sounds like the lift charge misfired, barely ejecting the shell from the mortar tube and and failing to light burst charge fuse.

The burst charge was never meant to be lit by a human being.  The fuse timing is too short.  The charge is too strong.

It sounds like this guy held the unfired shell in his hand, and lit the fuse.  The mass of his hand would have at least partially confined the burst charge, causing it to explode with more force than the manufacturer ever intended.  So his flesh gets blown off his bones, all with a cheery shower of sparks and colored stars.  Yay!

Now we have another accident to add to the books, making it that much harder for the rest of us to buy anything cool.  Thanks, idiot.

/ It's supposed to be "oooh, ahhh" not "OWWW AAAHHHHHHH!"
2013-06-30 01:46:47 PM  
1 vote:
"Medford police said David Jerald Jenkins, 37, tried to relight a mortar that had failed to ignite in the driveway of a home...."

Reportedly, spectators saw his running toward the explosion while yelling, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS!"
2013-06-30 01:46:23 PM  
1 vote:

Rabbitgod: Darwin can't win them all it seems.

Yeah, but he got a piece of that one.
2013-06-30 12:53:58 PM  
1 vote:
There are fireworks in the men's bathroom at my office on every Taco Tuesday.
2013-06-30 12:36:14 PM  
1 vote:

Claude Ballse: Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.

How much for a rectum?
2013-06-30 12:10:42 PM  
1 vote:
I say use no warnings. We need to thin the herd.
2013-06-30 12:03:04 PM  
1 vote:

HST's Dead Carcass: In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

That's a novel defense, counselor.
2013-06-30 11:57:48 AM  
1 vote:
This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.
2013-06-30 11:41:33 AM  
1 vote:
You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.
2013-06-30 11:34:34 AM  
1 vote:
The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

The amount of people who think this is a good idea never ceases to amaze me.
2013-06-30 11:25:34 AM  
1 vote:
Now you tell me!  Where were you 25 years ago.?
2013-06-30 10:41:49 AM  
1 vote:
Ah, I see alcohol was involved.
2013-06-30 09:59:59 AM  
1 vote:
Still it went really high and went all BOOOM!!! and FHWWSSSSSHHHHHH! and POP! POP!

Fireworks are awesome.

/pop pop
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