If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Medford Mail Tribune)   Attention fireworks enthusiasts: There's a very good reason why mortars are launched from tubes and have extra long wicks. So if one doesn't fire, taking it out of the tube and lighting the 1/4" of remaining wick is not advisable   (mailtribune.com) divider line 146
    More: Fail, Oregon Health & Science University, brightness  
•       •       •

11276 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 Jun 2013 at 11:26 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



146 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2013-06-30 09:59:59 AM  
Still it went really high and went all BOOOM!!! and FHWWSSSSSHHHHHH! and POP! POP!

Fireworks are awesome.

/pop pop
 
2013-06-30 10:32:12 AM  
Adblock tells me it blocked 42 ads on that site. Talk about blowing up.
 
2013-06-30 10:41:49 AM  
Ah, I see alcohol was involved.
 
2013-06-30 11:01:38 AM  
"Please enable Javascript"

lol No.
 
2013-06-30 11:17:02 AM  
So when do the yearly 4th of July and back yard grilling safety tips news reports start?
 
2013-06-30 11:25:34 AM  
Now you tell me!  Where were you 25 years ago.?
 
2013-06-30 11:34:01 AM  
I think this goes beyond "FAIL", and deserves the "DUMBASS" tag.


/At least he didn't try to imitate the Jackass stunt

// Come to think of it, maybe he should have
 
2013-06-30 11:34:34 AM  
The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

The amount of people who think this is a good idea never ceases to amaze me.
 
2013-06-30 11:36:01 AM  
This is why I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show. I'm one of the few sober people there. No one is allowed to light off ANYTHING without my say so and supervision. We draw chalk lines on the driveway for the kids to queue up, then we have a 'launch box' for the kids where they are to light whatever fireworks they bring to the box.

A few years back one of the kids snuck off with a bunch of Black Cats after I continually warned him not to light them off until it was his turn and I could watch. No more than an hour goes by and he's running to his mom crying his eyes out because one went off in his hand. Not only did he get singed fingers, but his mom chewed him out for doing it. In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.
 
2013-06-30 11:36:52 AM  
Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.
 
2013-06-30 11:41:33 AM  
You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.
 
2013-06-30 11:42:25 AM  

HST's Dead Carcass: Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.


Do you use HDPE for your tubes?  I've been having trouble finding it on short notice :/
 
2013-06-30 11:43:07 AM  

Alonjar: The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

The amount of people who think this is a good idea never ceases to amaze me.


They paid good money to see an explosion dammit.  It's like getting fireworks related blue balls.  You're seconds away from a huge explosion, so safety be damned.  Unfortunately, you have a 10% chance of losing some fingers.
 
2013-06-30 11:43:57 AM  

The water was cold: I think this goes beyond "FAIL", and deserves the "DUMBASS" tag.


/At least he didn't try to imitate the Jackass stunt

// Come to think of it, maybe he should have


im disappointed. he didn't try to fire it out of his ass.
 
2013-06-30 11:49:17 AM  

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


/approves

i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-30 11:49:46 AM  

Alonjar: Do you use HDPE for your tubes? I've been having trouble finding it on short notice :/


I use the stock tubes you can get at the Fireworks stand, then modify them for stability. The plastic bottoms suck, and when trying to nail them down they end up cracking or breaking. So, I Gorilla Glue and Duct Tape them to the boards.

I also get the mortars bunched together in the groups I'll launch up, usually in packs of 10-15, depending on how many tubes I have prepared. I also use about 5 shoe boxes for the kids to bring them to me in the bunches (kids are more reliable than the adults as they tend not to have a smoldering cigarette in their mouths as the carry them). My sister and her best friend guard the stockpile in the garage (they are non-smokers as well).

At launch time, everyone stays behind the Get Back Line (anyone in front of it gets yelled at by the whole crowd to Get Back! because I won't light them if anyone else is in front of it), and I'll launch a few smaller volleys. The kids go crazy wanting in on the action, so that's when I have them start bringing me the shoe boxes with the bunches. I'll get the fuses twisted and prepared, then let them light them.

It should be noted, once the fuse is lit, even I get behind the Get Back Line to reinforce the rule with the kids.

I've not done a show in 2 years now because of all the fire restrictions in Colorado. With wildfires this year and last year, I don't want to go to jail.
 
2013-06-30 11:50:41 AM  
Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

lol
 
2013-06-30 11:50:51 AM  

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


I am amazed how many shows I see that still hand-fire with road flares. I have seen the show guys more than once get one that goes off completely in the the tube.

Alcohol and "it's just a big firecracker" are why the injury described in the article occurred.
 
2013-06-30 11:57:48 AM  
This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.
 
2013-06-30 11:59:44 AM  
You can blow static mortar chrysanthemums in an arena off the truss if the load charge and dispersal ball is correctly measured, but not with a Bic.  Splosives.  Not for people who giggle a lot and can afford a book of matches.
 
2013-06-30 12:03:04 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.


That's a novel defense, counselor.
 
2013-06-30 12:06:39 PM  
Mortars are serious business. This doesn't make sense to people today since you don't need a background check to buy it. Don't fark around with them. Make sure you use them correctly and place them on a firm level base. I have seen one fall over and bombard the crowd. It was like a Vietnam movie with explosions and people diving for cover.
 
2013-06-30 12:08:28 PM  
Fuse, not wick.
 
2013-06-30 12:10:42 PM  
I say use no warnings. We need to thin the herd.
 
2013-06-30 12:11:30 PM  
You people know WAY too much about fireworks.

I quit thinking about them when I was about 14.
 
2013-06-30 12:11:35 PM  
Never handle a dud pyrotechnic.  Leave it where it is and don't go near it.

Next day, wearing hearing, eye, face and hand protection, use a shovel to pick it up and dump it into a five gallon bucket of water.  Then forget about it for another day.

My buddies and I were down in Mexico shooting these huge rockets off the beach, when one of them failed to fire.  I told the guys just to forget about it, so we left it stuck in the sand and moved about fifty feet away.  We keep shooting, and about twenty minutes later, the dud takes off and flies perfectly.

/ I hate holding fireworks in my hands.  I'm much happier handling them in bags, by the stick, etc.
 
2013-06-30 12:12:53 PM  
To set the record straight:

Mortars are not launched from tubes. Mortars ARE the tubes, which launch shells.


/worked on a couple of July 4 shows so got familiar with the terminology
 
2013-06-30 12:15:14 PM  
Guess we know for sure which hand he uses to jack off with now.
 
2013-06-30 12:16:25 PM  
I say screw the fireworks this year. At 10pm everyone get there gun out and shoot it in the air.
Of course, use a blank.
 
2013-06-30 12:18:50 PM  
When you think about it, it's really amazing that the only certification one needs to acquire and set off fireworks (aka explosives) is some form of cash.
 
2013-06-30 12:22:46 PM  
I guess he'll be known as "Lefty" now.

He's lucky he didn't try to relight a misfired mortar while looking down the tube. That actually happened a few years ago in the Chicago area, and the genius who tried it wound up a head shorter for his trouble.
 
2013-06-30 12:24:05 PM  
www.thethomaslawfirm.com

Why don't we blame the cars?
Fireworks are awesome.
 
2013-06-30 12:25:22 PM  
Mortars are awesome when they blow up on land.

The trick is to be VERY FAR AWAY when this happens.

/have blowed up a few illegal fireworks in Oregon in my day
//still have all my fingers, toes, etc.
///alcohol was usually involved
 
2013-06-30 12:25:49 PM  

jmr61: You people know WAY too much about fireworks.

I quit thinking about them when I was about 14.


Apparently not.
 
2013-06-30 12:28:34 PM  
*insert subby's mom joke here*
 
2013-06-30 12:29:28 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: This is why I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show. I'm one of the few sober people there. No one is allowed to light off ANYTHING without my say so and supervision. We draw chalk lines on the driveway for the kids to queue up, then we have a 'launch box' for the kids where they are to light whatever fireworks they bring to the box.

A few years back one of the kids snuck off with a bunch of Black Cats after I continually warned him not to light them off until it was his turn and I could watch. No more than an hour goes by and he's running to his mom crying his eyes out because one went off in his hand. Not only did he get singed fingers, but his mom chewed him out for doing it. In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.


Just like Hunter would've done ...
 
2013-06-30 12:30:25 PM  

Godscrack: "Please enable Javascript"

lol No.


I was able to read it for a moment before the browser wiped out the text & told me to enable JavaScript in order for the website to "function properly".
 
2013-06-30 12:31:22 PM  
What bothered me almost as much as a person losing his hand was the fact that the cops had to go for the revenue grubbing opportunity anyway. isn't loss of a major body part enough of a lesson learned?
 
2013-06-30 12:35:36 PM  

Molavian: Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

lol


Not saying he shouldn't be find, but talk about some salt in the wound.
 
2013-06-30 12:36:14 PM  

Claude Ballse: Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

So in Oregon, fingers are worth about $45, and palms about $25.


How much for a rectum?

i4.ytimg.com
 
2013-06-30 12:38:16 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2013-06-30 12:40:09 PM  
They paid good money to see an explosion dammit.  It's like getting fireworks related blue balls.  You're seconds away from a huge explosion, so safety be damned.  Unfortunately, you have a 10% chance of losing some fingers.

I like those odds.

/now hold my beer and watch this
 
2013-06-30 12:40:56 PM  
Ah yes. The Fourth of July season. Where we have a chance to weed out some of the really stupid people from our gene pool for another year.
 
2013-06-30 12:42:07 PM  
And because we have idiots like this out there soon enough all fireworks will be banned.
The idiots always ruin it for the rest of us.
 
2013-06-30 12:47:19 PM  
CSB: Back when I was in second grade, a fireworks factory about four miles away from me blew up. I remember seeing the mushroom cloud from the playground during recess. Due to the lay of the land, the shock wave was directed away from my immediate area, so I didn't hear the blast.

A couple of days later, my dad took us by the plant site. It was mostly leveled, with debris plastered against the chain-link fence.

I dug up a report about the incident [warning, large PDF], and as it turned out, from 1970 through 1973, a fireworks factory blew up in Illinois every year. The crazy thing is that the state fire marshal didn't even know about the existence of some of these facilities until after they blew up!

I wish there was some way to link to the Historic Aerials view of the site. Comparing the 1962 and 1974 aerial photos will give you an idea of the devastation.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:23 PM  
This headline makes no sense.
 
2013-06-30 12:53:58 PM  
There are fireworks in the men's bathroom at my office on every Taco Tuesday.
 
2013-06-30 01:01:01 PM  
I finally landed the ER nightshift on the fourth of July this year.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.  Yinzers are already kinda dumb as a rule, but when you add the WV hill people into the mix, there are usually a handful of solid drinking- and firework-related incidents every year.
 
2013-06-30 01:09:13 PM  
I don't use a fuse with my mortar, I use a linstock:

i46.tinypic.com

Then again, my mortar is actual artillery, not a fireworks launcher.   A 15 oz tin can half full of cement, weighing a solid 1 lb, and screaming down at you from 600+ feet high is going to ruin your whole day.
 
2013-06-30 01:14:14 PM  
Darwin can't win them all it seems.
 
2013-06-30 01:14:55 PM  

jmr61: You people know WAY too much about fireworks.

I quit thinking about them when I was about 14.


You're a liar liar, and we know why your pants are on fire.
 
2013-06-30 01:17:25 PM  
This genius was 37. I wonder how he ever made it past the teenage years?
 
2013-06-30 01:18:50 PM  
I think this is the first time I have literally facepalmed upon reading a headline.
 
2013-06-30 01:22:26 PM  
Hold my beer and watch this...
 
2013-06-30 01:24:19 PM  

badhatharry: Mortars are serious business. This doesn't make sense to people today since you don't need a background check to buy it. Don't fark around with them. Make sure you use them correctly and place them on a firm level base. I have seen one fall over and bombard the crowd. It was like a Vietnam movie with explosions and people diving for cover.


I love watching stupid people injure themselves, however. Between my neighborhood and the Internet, it's practically a hobby.

And this time of year is holiday season for my hobby. There's nothing like the rash of injuries that occur in the Puget Sound area this time of year. I wish we had holiday carols for the "Exploding Idjits Day" weekend.
 
2013-06-30 01:27:58 PM  
Only 100 or so of these left at the convienience store around the corner.
www.kgfireworks.com

But nothing beats snakes and sparklers.
 
2013-06-30 01:29:27 PM  

legion_of_doo: Godscrack: "Please enable Javascript"

lol No.

I was able to read it for a moment before the browser wiped out the text & told me to enable JavaScript in order for the website to "function properly".


Screw websites that do that. Copypasta below.


Man loses hand after illegal firework goes offJune 28, 2013
A Medford man had his hand blown off by an illegal firework early today and is now being treated at Oregon Health and Science University, police reported.

Medford police said David Jerald Jenkins, 37, tried to relight a mortar that had failed to ignite in the driveway of a home in the 200 block of Mace Road at 12:22 a.m. The firework only had about one-quarter inch of fuse left and exploded in Jenkins' hand.

"I saw the pictures. It's a devastating injury. A majority of the hand is gone," said Lt. Mike Budreau.

Police said Jenkins and others originally had been attempting to light an aerial-display rocket, which failed.

"They tried to light it, (and) it dudded out," Budreau said. "It didn't launch into the air. It just kind of flew into the driveway."

Police reported that Jenkins removed the explosive mortar from the top of the rocket and put it in his garage. After about two hours of drinking with the others, he came back out and lit the removed shell, resulting in the explosion, police said.

"This is one of the more graphic injuries I've actually seen where somebody has survived," Budreau said.

Jenkins was transported to Providence Medford Medical Center before being transported to OHSU for further treatment. OHSU officials said this afternoon that he is receiving treatment at the hospital, so no word on his condition was available.

Police also cited Jenkins for illegal possession of fireworks, a violation that carries a $250 base fine.

Police have seized a limited amount to illegal fireworks this year as Independence Day approaches. Budreau thinks that will change, as 2012 yielded a particularly high number of confiscations.

"We are really going to have a no-tolerance policy this year," Budreau said. We've been a little loose in years past."

Consumer fireworks that explode, fly into the air, travel more than 6 feet horizontally or travel more than 12 inches vertically from the ignition point are illegal under Oregon law.

- Ryan Pfeil
 
2013-06-30 01:31:56 PM  

StoPPeRmobile: Only 100 or so of these left at the convienience store around the corner.
[www.kgfireworks.com image 287x584]

But nothing beats snakes and sparklers.


Here in Canadia, family fireworks that include aerial shells must also include the mortar for the shell.  They come as a package.  No reusable mortars here for family fireworks.  The mortars are usually cardboard.

I was an amateur pyrotechnician myself--ran my own pyro lab.  Shot my own hand-built shows on my
  37 acre property out in the country for many years.  Miss that.  Miss it a lot.  Still have all my fingers,
  despite making/launching shells up to 6".  One of those goes off in your hand, and you're a dead man.


/divorced.  Now I live in a crappy little rental house in the middle of town....
 
2013-06-30 01:36:07 PM  
this dude will end up with a fat disability check.  thanks alot obama!
 
2013-06-30 01:37:21 PM  

LargeCanine: Fuse, not wick.


Wick = flame
Fuse = boom.

/irritates me too
 
2013-06-30 01:41:50 PM  

destrip: What bothered me almost as much as a person losing his hand was the fact that the cops had to go for the revenue grubbing opportunity anyway. isn't loss of a major body part enough of a lesson learned?


Plus it's going to be hard to handle all those bills with only one hand.
 
2013-06-30 01:46:23 PM  

Rabbitgod: Darwin can't win them all it seems.


Yeah, but he got a piece of that one.
 
2013-06-30 01:46:47 PM  
"Medford police said David Jerald Jenkins, 37, tried to relight a mortar that had failed to ignite in the driveway of a home...."

Reportedly, spectators saw his running toward the explosion while yelling, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS!"
 
2013-06-30 01:52:40 PM  

orezona: Mortars are awesome when they blow up on land.


Yes they are. As a child I was watching a show when suddenly there was a pause and I saw people running like hell away from where they were launching the shells. A couple of seconds later, there was a beautiful hemisphere of expanding stars covering the whole field. I don't think anybody was hurt, but some people probably needed a change of underwear.
 
2013-06-30 01:55:42 PM  

My Yali or Yours: This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.


We are building a fireworks show of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our tradition in the spirit of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.
 
2013-06-30 02:02:12 PM  

FormlessOne: badhatharry: Mortars are serious business. This doesn't make sense to people today since you don't need a background check to buy it. Don't fark around with them. Make sure you use them correctly and place them on a firm level base. I have seen one fall over and bombard the crowd. It was like a Vietnam movie with explosions and people diving for cover.

I love watching stupid people injure themselves, however. Between my neighborhood and the Internet, it's practically a hobby.

And this time of year is holiday season for my hobby. There's nothing like the rash of injuries that occur in the Puget Sound area this time of year. I wish we had holiday carols for the "Exploding Idjits Day" weekend.



The downside is, we're all probably chipping in for their medical bills, disability pay, etc. Schadenfreude can be an expensive hobby in modern society.
 
2013-06-30 02:03:11 PM  

skinink: "Medford police said David Jerald Jenkins, 37, tried to relight a mortar that had failed to ignite in the driveway of a home...."

Reportedly, spectators saw his running toward the explosion while yelling, "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JENKINS!"



I'm so very glad that someone else "saw" the word "Leroy" in that name.
 
2013-06-30 02:06:35 PM  

The water was cold: I think this goes beyond "FAIL", and deserves the "DUMBASS" tag.


/At least he didn't try to imitate the Jackass stunt

// Come to think of it, maybe he should have


Perhaps a failed Darwin?
 
2013-06-30 02:15:57 PM  

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


cdn.500.co

Agrees.
 
2013-06-30 02:23:46 PM  

bunner: You know how, like, when you go to a huge fireworks display, there's some cats in overalls with safety goggles and they have this huge, elevated platform and all the mortar launchers are wired with LoVo driven pyro matches and they have permits and key operated trigger consoles and redundant wiring and sensors and sh*t?  There a reason for that.  True fact.


Umm...they're not all wired to squibs. We hand light a few many times as well.
 
2013-06-30 02:38:12 PM  
simple rule: any firework once lit that does not ignite goes in the bucket of water and everything at the end of the show is soak with the water hose just to ensure no issues.
 
2013-06-30 02:41:42 PM  
Gee, all I got to play with was TNT, C4, Primacord and blasting caps.

Been a while.

/downside of civilian life
 
2013-06-30 02:44:34 PM  
Remember why we do this. It's Independence Day. Appreciate your freedom to recreate the rockets red glare and the bombs bursting in air.

Quoting the national anthem probably got me flagged by Prism.
 
2013-06-30 02:46:19 PM  

Vitiare: This headline makes no sense.


It's east coast humor.
 
2013-06-30 02:51:59 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: This is why I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show. I'm one of the few sober people there. No one is allowed to light off ANYTHING without my say so and supervision. We draw chalk lines on the driveway for the kids to queue up, then we have a 'launch box' for the kids where they are to light whatever fireworks they bring to the box.

A few years back one of the kids snuck off with a bunch of Black Cats after I continually warned him not to light them off until it was his turn and I could watch. No more than an hour goes by and he's running to his mom crying his eyes out because one went off in his hand. Not only did he get singed fingers, but his mom chewed him out for doing it. In his defense, the kid is a firebug, almost to the point of Trashcan Man from The Stand.

Aside from that little brat, no other injuries at all, I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional'), and everyone enjoys the display.


This is why I'm in charge of the firework show: I give black cats and a lighter to little boys and tell them not to light them!
 
2013-06-30 02:56:00 PM  
I imagine they will ban the sale of fireworks soon as that is what the Boston bomber deekheads used.
 
2013-06-30 02:58:01 PM  

uatuba: Umm...they're not all wired to squibs. We hand light a few many times as well.


God bless you.  I wouldn't/
 
2013-06-30 03:00:40 PM  

muck4doo: Vitiare: This headline makes no sense.

It's east coast humor.


For more of a try you should sneer and say "Mmmmm yes, Americans..."

/It will be funny
 
2013-06-30 03:02:53 PM  

fjnorton: I imagine they will ban the sale of fireworks soon as that is what the Boston bomber deekheads used.


CA and NY don't need no bombers to start banning stuff. That's how far behind your state is.
 
2013-06-30 03:04:45 PM  
Stupid hicks. "Ermagerd We gerts a bermb! Nehr we kern ban fire works!"
 
2013-06-30 03:05:12 PM  
"They tried to light it, (and) it dudded out," Budreau said. "It didn't launch into the air. It just kind of flew into the driveway."

Sounds like the lift charge misfired, barely ejecting the shell from the mortar tube and and failing to light burst charge fuse.

The burst charge was never meant to be lit by a human being.  The fuse timing is too short.  The charge is too strong.

It sounds like this guy held the unfired shell in his hand, and lit the fuse.  The mass of his hand would have at least partially confined the burst charge, causing it to explode with more force than the manufacturer ever intended.  So his flesh gets blown off his bones, all with a cheery shower of sparks and colored stars.  Yay!

Now we have another accident to add to the books, making it that much harder for the rest of us to buy anything cool.  Thanks, idiot.

/ It's supposed to be "oooh, ahhh" not "OWWW AAAHHHHHHH!"
 
2013-06-30 03:06:33 PM  

studebaker hoch: "They tried to light it, (and) it dudded out," Budreau said. "It didn't launch into the air. It just kind of flew into the driveway."

Sounds like the lift charge misfired, barely ejecting the shell from the mortar tube and and failing to light burst charge fuse.

The burst charge was never meant to be lit by a human being.  The fuse timing is too short.  The charge is too strong.

It sounds like this guy held the unfired shell in his hand, and lit the fuse.  The mass of his hand would have at least partially confined the burst charge, causing it to explode with more force than the manufacturer ever intended.  So his flesh gets blown off his bones, all with a cheery shower of sparks and colored stars.  Yay!

Now we have another accident to add to the books, making it that much harder for the rest of us to buy anything cool.  Thanks, idiot.

/ It's supposed to be "oooh, ahhh" not "OWWW AAAHHHHHHH!"


It's for your own good and let that be a lesson to you.
 
2013-06-30 03:07:13 PM  

Tyrone Slothrop: My Yali or Yours: This should not be condoned.
Please, no one give him a hand.

We are building a fireworks show of extraordinary magnitude. We forge our tradition in the spirit of our ancestors. You have our gratitude.


Take him to Detroit
 
2013-06-30 03:08:02 PM  

fjnorton: I imagine they will ban the sale of fireworks soon as that is what the Boston bomber deekheads used.


Massachusetts already bans all (or damn near all) consumer fireworks.
 
2013-06-30 03:08:30 PM  
dittybopper

I don't use a fuse with my mortar, I use a linstock:

Are we ever going to get to see video of that thing in action?
 
2013-06-30 03:10:14 PM  

pedrop357: fjnorton: I imagine they will ban the sale of fireworks soon as that is what the Boston bomber deekheads used.

Massachusetts already bans all (or damn near all) consumer fireworks.


It's to protect their own citizens from their stupidity, Stop your whining.
 
2013-06-30 03:12:05 PM  

pedrop357: fjnorton: I imagine they will ban the sale of fireworks soon as that is what the Boston bomber deekheads used.

Massachusetts already bans all (or damn near all) consumer fireworks.


You want unsafe fireworks for kids? Go live in Somalia.

/Usual fark libtard response
 
2013-06-30 03:12:23 PM  
I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.
 
2013-06-30 03:13:38 PM  
Somalian sparklers burning American childrunz!
 
2013-06-30 03:14:37 PM  
True story. I once burned my toe on a snake when I was a childrun..
 
2013-06-30 03:16:18 PM  
Threadshiatting a fireworks accident thread? It's more likely than you think.
 
2013-06-30 03:21:47 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.


I'd actually like to see the statistics on that.  What is the accident rate for kids who buy their own fireworks vs the accident rate for the adults that would be the only ones allowed to buy them?

I'm pretty sure kids aren't getting drunk and lighting off mortar launched shells by hand or many of the other things that have caused adults serious injury in the past.
 
2013-06-30 03:22:20 PM  
Man, I saw a picture of some guy who had an explosive of some kind go off in his mouth.

I'm not going to GIS for "explosive mouth injury", but you can.

/ you'll know the pic when you find it.
 
2013-06-30 03:24:08 PM  
Before the state of CA stepped in and banned them, fireworks meant Vietnam all around the Bay Area. People were rocketing each others roofs, and it was pandemonium. We would rocket the neighbors, and if that didn't work my family would send me to Black Cat the neighbors house with firecrackers to watch it explode. Those my young Farkers, are what we call the good old days.

/If you question me I'll put a sparkler next to your gas tank
 
2013-06-30 03:27:25 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.


Yep. Funny how very many of us came through childhood completely unscathed.

But no, it's the fireworks that are the problem.
 
2013-06-30 03:34:26 PM  
[nelsonmuntz]

I like to think of myself as creature capable of empathy as a rule however when one of these threads pop up (as they always do) I have absolutely no compunction about laughing at the total asshats who mangle and maim themselves for life by doing pants-on-head stupid-assed stuff like this.

None whatsoever.

/Is that wrong?
//Should I not do that?
///Should I feel bad about that?
 
2013-06-30 03:36:26 PM  

studebaker hoch: Man, I saw a picture of some guy who had an explosive of some kind go off in his mouth.

I'm not going to GIS for "explosive mouth injury", but you can.

/ you'll know the pic when you find it.


Unfortunately I've seen it thanks to clicking on a link here at Fark, I believe. I will never ever unsee it. It's maybe the most disturbing image I've ever seen on the internet. It wouldn't bee so bad if he was dead, but you can see in his eyes that he's alive.

I saw it again recently in a safety talk about pyrotechnic fx, together with photos of a hand that was essentially skeletonized by a firework (it seems like "completely blown off" might be preferable) and somebody's butt after a firework went off in it (crater where buttocks used to be). Those were pretty disturbing but Sad Faceless Man will always be the worst.
 
2013-06-30 03:36:41 PM  
I've still got like 4 huge sparklers to play with and I have half a coffee can full of firecrackers . I think I'm going to give them to the older kids around here,after asking their parents of course.
/They're not touching my firecrackers though,those are to scare the hell out of the neighbors.
 
2013-06-30 03:38:43 PM  

BigNumber12: Rapmaster2000: I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.

Yep. Funny how very many of us came through childhood completely unscathed.

But no, it's the fireworks that are the problem.


Would save my allowance as well for 4th of July. Later I had to spend it in summer trips to McAllen and Reynosa to get the good stuff .
>:(
 
2013-06-30 03:47:15 PM  

Deep Contact: I say screw the fireworks this year. At 10pm everyone get there gun out and shoot it in the air.
Of course, use a blank.


That is pretty much the norm in the ghettos in mississippi. The ones I lived/live in, anyways. Except the whole "use blanks" thing. The fourth is ok, but at midnight on new years eve, it sounds like a farking war zone. I don't join in (no gun, ammo too expensive to waste anyway) but I like to amuse myself by playing "guess the caliber". Once someone breaks out the semi-auto twelve gauge, the rest sound like snap'n'pops. Good times.
 
2013-06-30 03:50:31 PM  

Berz: Consumer fireworks that explode, fly into the air, travel more than 6 feet horizontally or travel more than 12 inches vertically from the ignition point are illegal under Oregon law.


I've found that cops in Oregon have the best fireworks at their homes.
 
2013-06-30 03:50:48 PM  
A buddy of mine does his own fireworks show every year, they get a shiat ton of mortars and shoot them off using this homemade PVC stand.

Once a couple years ago they set up the grand finale of like 40 mortars, and right when they lit it, the PVC stand tipped over toward everyone in the yard, and a few seconds later it was like a war zone, smoke, explosions, people running and screaming and flipping over tables to hide behind. Someone every stepped on a water valve and it flooded the yard. Crazy night.
 
2013-06-30 03:53:02 PM  
ruta

I saw it again recently in a safety talk about pyrotechnic fx, together with photos of a hand that was essentially skeletonized by a firework (it seems like "completely blown off" might be preferable) and somebody's butt after a firework went off in it (crater where buttocks used to be). Those were pretty disturbing but Sad Faceless Man will always be the worst.

In the age-old battle between fireworks and butts, the fireworks always win.  (nsfw)
 
2013-06-30 03:53:13 PM  
After about two hours of drinking with the others, he came back out and lit the removed shell, resulting in the explosion.

Awesome.
 
2013-06-30 04:00:09 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: I always put on a great display with about 600 Mortars (I take the time to actually make them mesh when they explode and try to time them... fuses make it tricky to be 'professional')


I got lucky one year and found a local store that carried the yellow cannon fuse (basically a ridiculously quick burning kind of the standard green kind ). It made chaining mortars and cakes together a LOT easier.

I'd imagine if you got a quantity of that stuff and jerry rigged it to an e-match system, you could set up a hell of a show.
 
2013-06-30 04:03:26 PM  

ruta: studebaker hoch: Man, I saw a picture of some guy who had an explosive of some kind go off in his mouth.

I'm not going to GIS for "explosive mouth injury", but you can.

/ you'll know the pic when you find it.

Unfortunately I've seen it thanks to clicking on a link here at Fark, I believe. I will never ever unsee it. It's maybe the most disturbing image I've ever seen on the internet. It wouldn't bee so bad if he was dead, but you can see in his eyes that he's alive.

I saw it again recently in a safety talk about pyrotechnic fx, together with photos of a hand that was essentially skeletonized by a firework (it seems like "completely blown off" might be preferable) and somebody's butt after a firework went off in it (crater where buttocks used to be). Those were pretty disturbing but Sad Faceless Man will always be the worst.


I couldn't resist, and now I am positively filled with regret. Several men, a few children (worst thing I've ever seen), and some dogs all 'splodey faced. I think I'm going to get drunk now (no fireworks involved).
 
2013-06-30 04:09:45 PM  

muck4doo: BigNumber12: Rapmaster2000: I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.

Yep. Funny how very many of us came through childhood completely unscathed.

But no, it's the fireworks that are the problem.

Would save my allowance as well for 4th of July. Later I had to spend it in summer trips to McAllen and Reynosa to get the good stuff .
>:(


Acquiring and setting off various fireworks/firecrackers was a rite of passage growing up for me that I will always remember fondly. It is a little sad that kids today don't have that. That noted I mostly agree with the new safety rules and regs because even with them in place this same stupid shiat still happens. Every farking year.

TL,DR? Fireworks rawk. Stupid people suck.
 
2013-06-30 04:10:53 PM  
My cousin had one go off in his hand. our tube broke so we were throwing them like grenades. He had a really bad blister and I laughed at him.

I used to sell fireworks with some friends in high school and we would take any surplus fireworks -there were always surplus fireworks ;) and put them all in a box, pour some gasoline on it, and toss a matchbook in then run. Was great fun and no one ever got hurt.
 
2013-06-30 04:14:31 PM  

quatchi: muck4doo: BigNumber12: Rapmaster2000: I used to blow all my money on fireworks when I was a kid.  Do they still sell fireworks to children?  That seems like a bad idea in retrospect, but then I never did blow my hand off.

Yep. Funny how very many of us came through childhood completely unscathed.

But no, it's the fireworks that are the problem.

Would save my allowance as well for 4th of July. Later I had to spend it in summer trips to McAllen and Reynosa to get the good stuff .
>:(

Acquiring and setting off various fireworks/firecrackers was a rite of passage growing up for me that I will always remember fondly. It is a little sad that kids today don't have that. That noted I mostly agree with the new safety rules and regs because even with them in place this same stupid shiat still happens. Every farking year.

TL,DR? Fireworks rawk. Stupid people suck.


In high school we would go get fireworks and then go to a local park to have bottle rocket and Roman candle wars. The worst thing that ever happened was one of my friends lips getting burned by a Roman candle, and another friend of mine having his groin singed by a bottle rocket.
 
2013-06-30 04:18:36 PM  
Estes model rocket igniters work well for mortars.
Also, don't let stupid people load the shell upside down! I'm glad it was not in just a cardboard tube...
 
2013-06-30 04:27:14 PM  
Googled that Duzac guy who blew off his hand last year with fireworks.

Seems to be doing OK.

img41.imageshack.us
 
2013-06-30 04:34:40 PM  

big_hed: Googled that Duzac guy who blew off his hand last year with fireworks.

Seems to be doing OK.

[img41.imageshack.us image 600x800]


Awwww.... he killed a baby.  Guess it could be a full sized deer in Mississippi.  :/
 
2013-06-30 04:35:52 PM  
I live in rural michigan. We light mortars and throw them over the fence into the cornfield. A lot more interesting than using a tube.
 
2013-06-30 04:42:30 PM  
I DESPISE fireworks (yeah, I'm unpatriotic) but I have a good reason.

20 years ago, I was at a county display, rules were somewhat lax back then and I was permitted in the infield where the shells were being set off. Shell detonated right at the top of the tube and blew back where I was. Spent a week in the hospital and had to have multiple surgeries. Will still have to have corrective surgeries in the future for my hand, did a lot of damage to my fingers (I put my hand up to protect my face, that and the fact I had sunglasses on saved my sight) so the scar tissue causes my fingers to curl and they have to go in and release it. I was lucky though, I lived (obviously). The following year, same company that provided the shells at our display did a show and it ended up killing 2 people in the crowd with the same type of accident.

Yeah, they're no longer in business...
 
2013-06-30 04:42:40 PM  
Don't GIS "fireworks accident".

I sure wish I hadn't.
 
2013-06-30 04:47:08 PM  

RentalMetard: I finally landed the ER nightshift on the fourth of July this year.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.  Yinzers are already kinda dumb as a rule, but when you add the WV hill people into the mix, there are usually a handful of solid drinking- and firework-related incidents every year.


I worked Atlanta's Grady Memorial one 4th of July weekend, up in Surgery. It was a non-stop bloodbath of shootings, stabbings, burn cases, wrecks and general mayhem the likes of which I imagined a MASH unit near the front would go through but with reliable air conditioning.

But that was nothing compared to being on duty that one time on a full moon weekend when welfare checks came out at the same time.
 
2013-06-30 04:51:48 PM  

studebaker hoch:

In the age-old battle between fireworks and butts, the fireworks always win.  (nsfw)

I'm not clicking that. That's how I saw Faceless Dude in the first place. I'm much wiser now.

Mellotiger: studebaker hoch: Man, I saw a picture of some guy who had an explosive of some kind go off in his mouth.

I'm not going to GIS for "explosive mouth injury", but you can.
...

I couldn't resist, and now I am positively filled with regret. Several men, a few children (worst thing I've ever seen), and some dogs all 'splodey faced. I think I'm going to get drunk now (no fireworks involved).


Psycoholic_Slag: Don't GIS "fireworks accident".

I sure wish I hadn't.


Yeesh, it's like telling kids not to touch the hot stove.

I'm glad I haven't seen the children and dogs. At least dogs can get a nice bolus of pentobarbital.
 
2013-06-30 04:52:10 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: bottle rocket and Roman candle wars.


Dear gawd, that takes me back.

We used to do this thing where we would have Roman Candle wars and individual duel mostly w/ BRss.

Usually on the railroad tracks. Back to back then take 10 steps, turn and fire at the other guy.

You couldn't light the BR till the 9th step was the rule.

More of a guideline really.

Then we'd build a big bonfire thingy on a beach off the beaten path douse it with gas countdown from 10 and then at 1 light up the Roman Candles and use them to light the bonfire.

/Ah the halcyon daze of my yout.
//Good times. Good times.
///Pretty sure you'd get arrested in short order if you'd tried that hereabouts nowadays.
 
2013-06-30 05:02:24 PM  
I suspect that CO authorities will be taking a reeeeeeeeally dim view of amateur use of fireworks this year.
 
2013-06-30 05:05:07 PM  
Nanny United States, banning fireworks for private citizens.
 
2013-06-30 05:10:51 PM  
Something we did many years ago that was very popular with onlookers...

Bundle 1000-1500 sparklers as tightly as you can with the business ends all pointing in the same direction (use some bailing wire to hold the bundle together).  Jam another sparkler part-way into the center or the bundle to serve as a fuse.  Wedge the bundle between a pair of bricks or concrete blocks.   Light the fuse and stand back.  This will generate a 20-30-ft pillar of flames and sparks that put normal fountains to shame.  It'll melt pavement and nearby empty beer bottles.  I often wondered what the recycle collection folks thought when they came across our deformed bottles later that week...
 
2013-06-30 05:12:04 PM  

studebaker hoch: ruta

I saw it again recently in a safety talk about pyrotechnic fx, together with photos of a hand that was essentially skeletonized by a firework (it seems like "completely blown off" might be preferable) and somebody's butt after a firework went off in it (crater where buttocks used to be). Those were pretty disturbing but Sad Faceless Man will always be the worst.

In the age-old battle between fireworks and butts, the fireworks always win.  (nsfw)


I ain't clicking that.
 
2013-06-30 05:14:44 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: /pop pop


www.11points.com
 
2013-06-30 05:30:28 PM  

HST's Dead Carcass: I am in charge of the Brother In law's fireworks show ...

and everyone enjoys the display

My neighbors pull similar shenanigans every year - one-upping each other to have the best display in the neighborhood instead of going to watch the professional display the community puts on for 'free'.

My dog hates both groups, but at least the city's display is of professional quality with a qualified operator and real safety measures instead of a mishmash of punk consumer grade crap with chalk lines protecting the audience.  And unlike the neighborhood derps, they only put it on ONE EFFING DAY of the year instead of making it a month-long event.
 
2013-06-30 05:39:03 PM  

Endive Wombat: So when do the yearly 4th of July and back yard grilling safety tips news reports start?


Bleh. My favorite days to read the news (schadenfreude!) are the days after Thanksgiving and US Independence Day.
 
2013-06-30 05:50:39 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRItYDKSqpQ  -- NSFW-language.

Bootleg fireworks with a 'Jesus' counter!!
 
2013-06-30 05:53:07 PM  

Pert: Nanny United States, banning fireworks for private citizens.


Not everyone. I use them on 4th to keep birds away from my corn fields.
 
2013-06-30 06:01:09 PM  
It's not a wick.
Wicks are found in candles.
It's a fuse
Or if you prefer, quickmatch.
Repeat after me: "It's not a wick."

/we now return you to your regular thread, already in progress
 
2013-06-30 06:03:59 PM  

Wrencher: Estes model rocket igniters work well for mortars.
Also, don't let stupid people load the shell upside down! I'm glad it was not in just a cardboard tube...


we used to light the Estes engines alone no rocket attached. Good times dodging those things.
 
2013-06-30 06:08:59 PM  

Deep Contact: I say screw the fireworks this year. At 10pm everyone get there gun out and shoot it in the air.
Of course, use a blank.


Welcome to south end Louisville- blanks be damned.
 
2013-06-30 06:20:36 PM  
You know, this could've happened to any one of us after a fun night filled with fireworks and drinking, so waddya say...can we give him a hand with his fine?
 
2013-06-30 06:21:20 PM  
i189.photobucket.com
 
2013-06-30 06:23:20 PM  
big pig peaches and ruta:  The rocket vs butt video is harmless.  (butt gets scorched, nothing more.  Well almost nothing)
 
2013-06-30 06:24:14 PM  
What hand would you have if you had to have a hand replacement?

www.rethinkingourstory.com
 
2013-06-30 06:24:20 PM  
Video is nsfw because of visible butt.
 
2013-06-30 06:39:31 PM  

clowncar on fire: Deep Contact: I say screw the fireworks this year. At 10pm everyone get there gun out and shoot it in the air.
Of course, use a blank.

Welcome to south end Louisville- blanks be damned.


I've dug a shotgun slug and 2 .45 slugs out of my roof in the last couple of years. Makes wish I could leave all 3 layers of shingles there when I re-shingle.
 
2013-06-30 06:49:23 PM  

studebaker hoch: big pig peaches and ruta:  The rocket vs butt video is harmless.  (butt gets scorched, nothing more.  Well almost nothing)


Taint blisters.

Sounds almost as bad as 'dick stitches'.
 
2013-06-30 06:58:11 PM  
We'd sit out on the canal "seawall" behind our house and I'd take the mortars and light them, pause for a moment, then hurl them out into the water.

Stupid and dangerous, yes.  But the sound of a mortar going off in the water is damn impressive.

I'd also launch bottle rockets out of my hand, but only while wearing full turnout gear and helment/faceshield.
 
2013-06-30 07:02:06 PM  

Fubegra: I guess he'll be known as "Lefty" now.

He's lucky he didn't try to relight a misfired mortar while looking down the tube. That actually happened a few years ago in the Chicago area, and the genius who tried it wound up a head shorter for his trouble.


I've seen this happen in person. Drunk guy drops the round in. It doesn't go off. He looks over the tube and it fires out hitting him in the face. It ends up on the ground when it explodes. I got hit by shrapnel and ended up with a half dollar size bruise and burn on my stomach. His face around his jaw was basically torn off but he survived. Ncsb.
 
2013-06-30 08:42:08 PM  

BigNumber12: FormlessOne: badhatharry: Mortars are serious business. This doesn't make sense to people today since you don't need a background check to buy it. Don't fark around with them. Make sure you use them correctly and place them on a firm level base. I have seen one fall over and bombard the crowd. It was like a Vietnam movie with explosions and people diving for cover.

I love watching stupid people injure themselves, however. Between my neighborhood and the Internet, it's practically a hobby.

And this time of year is holiday season for my hobby. There's nothing like the rash of injuries that occur in the Puget Sound area this time of year. I wish we had holiday carols for the "Exploding Idjits Day" weekend.


The downside is, we're all probably chipping in for their medical bills, disability pay, etc. Schadenfreude can be an expensive hobby in modern society.


If we had single payer healthcare, I'd be OK with that - heck, it'd encourage more folks to do stupid things, because, hey, they won't go broke when they blow off a limb.

More blood for the blood god.
 
2013-06-30 08:56:12 PM  
My oldest brother has a big burn scar on his leg where a roman candle he was holding blew out the bottom & scorched him. Another friend of mine lit a roman candle he bought {I think a 10 ball} where it went off all at once. The candle as about 2 inches long & looked like one of then cigars that blows up in a cartoon. Never hold one of them things again.
 
2013-06-30 09:21:08 PM  

studebaker hoch: dittybopper

I don't use a fuse with my mortar, I use a linstock:

Are we ever going to get to see video of that thing in action?


Hopefully.  I've got this week off, maybe I'll get a chance to fire it, if the weather holds out.  It's supposed to rain most of the week.
 
2013-06-30 09:38:49 PM  
Cosmo. He's chinese.
 
2013-06-30 10:37:44 PM  
There is a video out there somewhere of guys doing this same thing. They have a mortar and are standing over it and cupping their hands around to reduce the wind so they can light it with a bic. Then BOOM! No loss of limb. Anyone have a link?
 
2013-06-30 11:27:30 PM  

Igor Jakovsky: I've seen this happen in person. Drunk guy drops the round in. It doesn't go off. He looks over the tube and it fires out hitting him in the face. It ends up on the ground when it explodes. I got hit by shrapnel and ended up with a half dollar size bruise and burn on my stomach. His face around his jaw was basically torn off but he survived. Ncsb.


The last time I heard of a moron looking down the tube he was decapitated.
 
2013-07-01 08:38:29 PM  
A few years ago, a female somehow got a 1.3G cake and tried to light it by hand.

Boink!  headshot.  (lesson - quickmatch is faster than you are)
 

Nobody could get near her until the cake stopped firing.

It was a bad way to go, but quite festive.
 
Displayed 146 of 146 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report